Teen Comments RE: Homeschool vs. 'Real' School

[Shelly in VA]

This morning, dd16 and I were at the library picking up, among other things, some SAT test prep books. She is a junior this year, so she is taking the PSAT in a few weeks, some SAT subject tests after that, and the SAT in the spring. While we were there, she ran into a ps friend of hers who is also a junior, and her friend commented that the two test prep books looked really thick. Dd said, "Yeah, my mom is making me study for the SAT in the spring." Her friend's response was, "I'm glad I'm not homeschooled, because since I actually go to school, I don't have to do that. I'll just be ready to take the test." :glare:

 

Obviously, this is not the first time over the last 11 years that we have encountered comments like this, but I really wanted to launch into the girl about how that attitude would probably be reflected in her SAT scores, and how, if she didn't realize SAT prep was separate from daily school academics she must not be getting a stellar education, but I didn't. I told myself in my head to remember that at 16, she does not yet have a developed frontal lobe. ;)

 

Still, it was discouraging, and I was sad for my dd when I watched her just smile and nod; she told me afterwards it was because she hears stuff like that all the time. I told her it is good to assert herself, and that it is acceptable and almost necessary to respond with something polite but firm along the lines of, "Well, I go to school too, of course, but this is extra work beyond my regular classes." I told her she could even go so far as to complain about her wicked evil parents and the heavy expectations they put on her.

 

How do you tell your kids to respond to these types of comments?

 

It's been a few hours, and I'm still wanting to go lecture dd's "friend"... haha...

 

Shelly

[regentrude]

how, if she didn't realize SAT prep was separate from daily school academics she must not be getting a stellar education,

 

I do not think that this is necessarily the case. Other than training a little bit for the specific hoops of the SAT and familiarizing yourself with the style of questions, most skills ARE actually acquired through daily work. A good command of the English language and solid math skills go a long way towards succeeding on the test, and these do not have to be acquired through a specific test preparation program. SAT prep experts keep telling the students that the real preparation begins many years before they take the test, and that wide reading is far superior to test prep vocabulary programs. So, a good school education WOULD actually prep the student for the SAT, and only a short time of familiarizing oneself with the style of questions and some test taking strategies would be necessary.

 

How do you tell your kids to respond to these types of comments?

 

DD knows she works way above and beyond what she would do in ps - and she wants it this way. So, she would not have an issue with the comments because she knows that she works a lot harder homeschooling than she would if attending school where she would be bored out of her mind.

Edited September 17, 2011 by regentrude

[Bang!Zoom!]

Shelly- I get it. I'd want to lecture too.

 

You are right on the frontal lobes, bulls eye.

 

Have you happened to ever view the website perfectscoreproject.com

 

I **love** that site, someone here brought it to my attention and I read it all the time.

 

Plan a post-score party..only girls with X score and above may attend?

 

With proof of course.

 

Like a debutante SAT gala.

 

Mentally planning it might give you some glee. :)

[Laurie4b]

I don't concern myself with how they answer, truly. They have their own ways of dealing with things, according to their personalities. Who cares, really? I got a kick out of it though, when ds was recruited to play guitar in a local high school musical (it was paid!) and there was a girl on Facebook after him to get his parents to let him come to public school. Ds, who was given the choice anyway, just responded, "Homeschool is chill." Made me smile. The local homeschooled kids all poke fun at each other: "That is so homeschooled!" when someone says something nerdy or doesn't know some factoid that most people know. They know the stereotypes and just choose to laugh about it. But I stay out of it.

 

Back when I took the PSAT and SAT (almost 4 decades ago--eek!) no one prepped. But prepping has now become almost necessary because so many others prep. It gives you an advantage in terms of recognizing certain types of questions, being familiar with the test, and timing yourself. If you find in prep that you've forgotten some topic in math, it gives you a chance to relearn. I think prepping is helpful for the writing section so that you can have kind of pre-written essay in your head that you can flex around to a number of topics. Public school students and homeschool students are in the same place in terms of these things. (Though they may have learned how to throw a lot of snow in essays in school, whereas homeschoolers may not have. The topics for the essays are not very meaningful, so being quick with "snow" is a helpful skill. They are also more tuned in to the type of writing topics often given in the ACT) In terms of the content, then the quality of their education certainly does impact the outcome of the SAT.

[MyThreeSons]

Her friend's response was, "I'm glad I'm not homeschooled, because since I actually go to school, I don't have to do that. I'll just be ready to take the test." :glare:

 

what she meant was that she won't have to do the "extra" prep work on her own. Around here, it's pretty standard for students to take a one-semester SAT prep class at school.

[BeckyFL]

Last week there was an article in the Wall Street Journal stating that SAT scores were lower than ever. Perhaps that's why. They will just magically be "ready". :huh:

[Julie in MN]

How do you tell your kids to respond to these types of comments?

 

We've dealt with these comments all along, since all of ds's good friends are in ps and want him *there*! I usually respond in good humor with my own gee whiz types of comments, but if it continues I usually put an end to it as disrespectful. The whole thing was really intense in middle school.

 

Now that ds is in 10th (and most of his friends are in 11th), it's changed, though. The kids are all starting to realize that they aren't all going the same place, they aren't all going to be college superstars, and even within the college group, they are heading towards vastly different fields with vastly different selling points in their pockets. So most realize that whatever someone says along the lines of college admission etc should be taken with a grain of salt. "Consider the source," as they say. They're not all trying to be the same thing any more, like middle school, so comments about one person's course being different from the rest just don't seem to make as much sense any more. If this gal is young, I'd just wait until she matures. If she is older, I'd just consider her behind in her maturation :)

 

Julie

 

P.S. My oldest was only public schooled, and he and his friends all tried to do some ACT prep in one form or another, including taking outside classes, doing a CD-ROM course, or going to the library. My oldest would have thought her comment showed a lack of understanding of college competitiveness even before he'd ever thought his family would homeschool.

Edited September 18, 2011 by Julie in MN
added a P.S.

[tex-mex]

In the upscale yuppie enclave we live in, many wealthy parents pay for SAT prep classes for their kid to have a competitive edge.

[In The Great White North]

Around here, it's pretty standard for students to take a one-semester SAT prep class at school.

 

Around here, it's not even offered.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

The friend may be partially right though. If she goes to a school that teaches to the test, she's basically only getting SAT preparation classes since early elementary. It's your daughter who's getting a real education, not the friend.

 

School kids are usually better test takers than homeschooled kids because they take so many tests. They can fake their ways through testing. Doesn't mean they have an actual education though

[G5052]

The friend may be partially right though. If she goes to a school that teaches to the test, she's basically only getting SAT preparation classes since early elementary. It's your daughter who's getting a real education, not the friend.

 

School kids are usually better test takers than homeschooled kids because they take so many tests. They can fake their ways through testing. Doesn't mean they have an actual education though

 

If you had asked me in high school if I had prepped, I would have said "no." The truth was that the high school I went to rolled SAT and AP prep into almost every class. I actually didn't know that at the time.

 

Now were they educated? Not very...

[Tohru]

Ah, the girl is 16. Even if she was older, people rarely change their opinion about something over some one's rebuttal. Smiling and nodding is an excellent response to comments like that.

 

Hope your daughter does well!

[eewaggie99]

Going to PS doesn't prep you for the SAT. Even if the school offers a prep course, it takes initiative on the student's part to learn the test.

 

I studied several SAT prep books in my own. For math, it's helpful to remember all the trig and geometry formulas. For the verbal, there are certain "tells" that make answers easier. Of course, there are diminishing returns so I wouldn't recommend taking the exam more than twice.

 

For what it's worth, I was a National Merit Scholar so I speak from experience. A great many students I considered smarter than me didn't get near my scores because they assumed they knew the material.

[Julie in MN]

I studied several SAT prep books in my own. For math, it's helpful to remember all the trig and geometry formulas. For the verbal, there are certain "tells" that make answers easier.

 

Good points. A lot of test prep is just reviewing what you haven't worked with in a while, and getting to know the format of the test and knowing the instructions so you don't have to spend any time on those. I can't see how you could do that in a school unless they are indeed doing "test prep" during school -- just like you are!

 

Julie

[iluvmy4blessings]

Yikes! That girl is in for a rude awakening. Obviously public schooled kids do outside studying for the SAT if they intend to score well on it. She clearly just isn't hanging out with that crowd. As for the comments, I probably wouldn't respond. I'm of the general opinion that people who make those kinds of ignorant comments are more of an embarrassment to themselves than anything else. And being an embarrassment to yourself is already a punishment!

[Karen in CO]

:grouphug:

My ds used to tell his ps friends that his favorite thing about homeschool was that he never had to do any work. :glare: Not at all true, but still stabbed me every time I heard it. It helped him "save face" with his friends, even when they came over so he could help them with their AP Lit. homework.

[vonfirmath]

Back when I took the PSAT and SAT (almost 4 decades ago--eek!) no one prepped.

 

Public Schooler here. graduated HS 20 years ago. Took both the PSAT and SAT but I didn't prep. Nor did anyone I know about. My combined score was high. A friend got a perfect 1600 her second time through. Maybe it is something that has become more common since?

[Mommy22alyns]

Public Schooler here. graduated HS 20 years ago. Took both the PSAT and SAT but I didn't prep. Nor did anyone I know about. My combined score was high. A friend got a perfect 1600 her second time through. Maybe it is something that has become more common since?

 

I graduated 15 years ago and I know some students in my school prepped, but I did not. I got a 780 verbal and a very good math score too. :confused:

[Shelly in VA]

Thanks, everyone!