Does anybody else feel this way sometimes?

[plain jane]

My kids have never been to any sort of school and I'm happy with that, as are they. :)

 

Thing is, from time to time, I get these nagging doubts that they're missing out on (good) things from not being in school. The class projects and discussions, the little extras they do and the access to resources that teachers have that I simply do not. I'm sure that most PS teachers have a great deal more in their arsenal for effective teaching than I do and that my kids could benefit from this sort of thing.

 

I think back to my elementary years and I liked school well enough. I enjoyed working on the posters and other projects. I do remember group work being fun (when I got along with the group and wasn't stuck with other kids I didn't get along with :tongue_smilie:) and the camaraderie of it all.

 

I know there are a lot of negatives to PS too. The bad influences, the poor teachers (yes, I know they exist) or even the copious amounts of time wasted in classroom management and taken away from what could be time spent as a family in their formative years.

 

I don't need to be convinced as to why I homeschool, it's just that every now and then I sit and wonder what good stuff my kids are missing out on. I do honestly wonder (and yes, worry sometimes too) if the PS would do a better job than I am simply because they have more resources and the teachers have different/more ideas for making learning interesting and engaging (not that I don't try my best, but I don't have a degree in education). The PS system where I am is pretty good and while I think it's not fantastic I think it would serve my kids well enough. I've had a few educator friends who've spent time with my kids and seen some of their work comment that they would likely be bored in school as they are ahead of their peers, but, I don't know... I really doubt myself sometimes and wonder what they're missing.

 

Am I the only one who ever feels this way? What do you do when these sorts of feelings creep up?

 

I'd love to put my kids in school for a year just to see what it's like so I can put these doubts to rest but OTOH, there are a ton of negatives with the neighborhood school and I am certain my kids would not be the same when they came home. :(

[Haiku]

Am I the only one who ever feels this way? What do you do when these sorts of feelings creep up?

 

While I am aware that there are potentially good things that my kids are missing by not being in school, I don't worry about it because I know that life is a trade-off. If they were in school they would be missing out on potentially (ok, actually, verifiable) good things about being homeschooled. We make trades. That's life. I'm content with the trade I made.

 

That, and I have a dd17 in high school, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the bad outweighs the good.

 

ETA: I find it interesting that homeschooling parents are far more likely to worry about what their kid is missing by not being in school than are schooling parents to worry about what their kid is missing by not being homeschooled.

 

Tara

[Impish]

Its the Grass Is Greener Syndrome. I think everyone has it to some degree or another at some point.

 

The Littles have never gone to school. Diva was pulled mid gr 3, and my eldest was never hs'd.

 

Part of me does feel a bit...sad...that the Littles miss out on the whole 'first day of kindy' experience. I remember how excited my eldest and Diva were to go that first day...and how I sobbed like a fool the whole way home after dropping them off :lol:

 

BUT...Diva endured a lot of trauma from bullying. From both students, and in her last year, the teacher as well. I know that Tazzie would be labelled ADD/ADHD by a teacher...not b/c I believe he actually has it, but b/c he's a bright kid with typical boy energy, and doesn't suffer busy work. Once he's done something, he's done, and doesn't want to repeat it, or sit there waiting for something else to come along, he wants to get going. At home, that's fine and great, but in a classroom setting, he'd make a teacher insane, and likely become a discipline problem out of sheer boredom and non-conformity.

[BamaTanya]

It's like any other decision. If you move to a new house, you give up the old house. If you marry this guy, you can't go out with the other ones. :D If you have a new baby, you give up sleep and independence for a while.

 

There is no way to give our dc every thing. So you pick the best for your family. If something wasn't working, you would know it.

 

:grouphug:

[2_girls_mommy]

Every once in awhile when our neighborhood friend is in some new club which is free at school like "jump rope club" or "art club" or "honors choir" I get a little bit that way. Yes, we jump rope, but doing it every week with a group for an extra hour on top of regular P.E. class would be a good thing for my girls to bone up their skills. The same with art club. A whole hour of extra fun messy art stuff on top of the regular class that week would be awesome, and an honors choir that I don't have to pay top dollar for? Yes, I wish I had access to those things that I know would be good for my girls.

 

But I am not willing to give up my children all day every day, and hand them over for the rest of what goes with P.S. for those activities. I do my best to find them activities in the community that we can afford and they are very active in those and have been very happy.

[elegantlion]

No, I really don't think about. I hated middle/high school, and I dislike all the red tape of public schooling. We we decided to homeschool I had to set aside my own experiences to make sure homeschooling was the best option for ds,not just a convenience for me.

 

He's old enough to articulate a preference, he adores homeschooling. Not so much the whole schooling thing, but the ability to have some freedom and say in his day.

 

If I had more children I might feel more concerned, dependent on their personality. For this one, I don't worry about it.

[LaxMom]

It's like any other decision. If you move to a new house, you give up the old house. If you marry this guy, you can't go out with the other ones. :D If you have a new baby, you give up sleep and independence for a while.

 

There is no way to give our dc every thing. So you pick the best for your family. If something wasn't working, you would know it.

 

:grouphug:

 

Aaaah, good old opportunity cost. My kids have to keep learning about that. :D

 

No, I never think on what they might be missing in a large group setting. We did a co-op for 6 years, and I never saw any inherent bonus in group classes (which is why we did it in the first place and, subsequently why we gave it up)

 

I don't think ps teachers have any more tricks up their sleeves than experienced homeschoolers, either. They may have a different style, but, then, so might anyone else. You know?

[Runningmom80]

I worry that I will worry about this. :001_smile: We are sort of reluctant HS'ers though, no other school option available to us fit, so I assumed that's why.

 

(I'm sure we will love HSing, just being honest that it wasn't necessarily our first choice!)

[ChristusG]

The only thing I didn't want them to miss were the fun things. And that's why I joined the homeschool group that we are in. It's not a co-op or a support group. It's a group that meets every Wednesday for 4 hours. It's at a kids facility where they have all sorts of classes. DD is in with the same kids each week in her age group, with the same "teacher". She moves from class to class with the teacher. It's not in depth learning, but more fluff learning. I'm not there for the educational purposes. We have parties at holidays, Valentines Day card exchanged, small gift exchanged at Christmas time, we go on field trips together, the kids get to play group games, we have pot lucks for special days, each month the group gets a cake and celebrates that months birthdays, we have a small history/science fair each year, there's a yearbook at the end of the year, we have a small "graduation" ceremony at the end, etc. It's just all of the fun things in school. So that's why we are a part of that group.

[OrdinaryTime]

I do! I worry mostly about the loss of daily academic competition. Both my husband and I were not overly athletic or attractive or popular when we were kids; we were intelligent. So far my kids are taking after us. Winning at math board races, spelling bees, getting the top grade on a test in the class, etc., on a fairly regular basis was very important to my self-confidence growing up. Kids need to win at something, imho. Getting a good grade from mom just isn't the same. I do worry about it.

 

(Of course, later in life when I started staying home full-time with my kids, I realized how dependent my self-worth had become on outside praise. For years, I either had regular grades or performance reviews, bolstering my self-image. At home I suddenly had no professor or boss telling how great I was. Instead I had screaming babies and whining toddlers. Motherhood has many wonderful benefits; positive feedback is not one of them. :001_smile: It took me awhile to adjust to the lack of constant praise from an authority figure and find my self-worth in who I was and not just on what I did. Maybe this homeschooling adventure will help me kids avoid this pitfall.)

[YLVD]

My kids have never been to any sort of school and I'm happy with that, as are they. :)

 

Thing is, from time to time, I get these nagging doubts that they're missing out on (good) things from not being in school. The class projects and discussions, the little extras they do and the access to resources that teachers have that I simply do not. I'm sure that most PS teachers have a great deal more in their arsenal for effective teaching than I do and that my kids could benefit from this sort of thing.

 

I think back to my elementary years and I liked school well enough. I enjoyed working on the posters and other projects. I do remember group work being fun (when I got along with the group and wasn't stuck with other kids I didn't get along with :tongue_smilie:) and the camaraderie of it all.

 

I know there are a lot of negatives to PS too. The bad influences, the poor teachers (yes, I know they exist) or even the copious amounts of time wasted in classroom management and taken away from what could be time spent as a family in their formative years.

 

I don't need to be convinced as to why I homeschool, it's just that every now and then I sit and wonder what good stuff my kids are missing out on. I do honestly wonder (and yes, worry sometimes too) if the PS would do a better job than I am simply because they have more resources and the teachers have different/more ideas for making learning interesting and engaging (not that I don't try my best, but I don't have a degree in education). The PS system where I am is pretty good and while I think it's not fantastic I think it would serve my kids well enough. I've had a few educator friends who've spent time with my kids and seen some of their work comment that they would likely be bored in school as they are ahead of their peers, but, I don't know... I really doubt myself sometimes and wonder what they're missing.

 

Am I the only one who ever feels this way? What do you do when these sorts of feelings creep up?

 

I'd love to put my kids in school for a year just to see what it's like so I can put these doubts to rest but OTOH, there are a ton of negatives with the neighborhood school and I am certain my kids would not be the same when they came home. :(

 

I think that I'm a huge rarity on this site as my DDs public school experience has been nothing but positives. I can not say enough how much I loved my DDs small, public Montessori public school.

 

Her middle school was great too. I live in a way expensive area though and I think that's why the schools are so good. I homeschooled mostly because my kid had some medical issues. She is back at a small public high school, 80 kids total, that is geared towards kids with learning disabilities.

 

I won't lie here, I think that the positives have way outweighed the negatives in terms of public school. I don't think that is the case everything.

 

I don't think that homeschooling was the ideal for us. It was a means to an end but I think that my kid is better served with those additional opportunities, etc. I don't think that's the same for everyone though, please know that I'm not saying that. Homeschooling can be amazing for many families.

[YLVD]

I worry that I will worry about this. :001_smile: We are sort of reluctant HS'ers though, no other school option available to us fit, so I assumed that's why.

 

(I'm sure we will love HSing, just being honest that it wasn't necessarily our first choice!)

 

I was a reluctant homeschooler too. It was never my first choice. I've always felt like the only one on this site! Now that there is another option available to us, DD is back at public school.

[myfunnybunch]

Am I the only one who ever feels this way? What do you do when these sorts of feelings creep up?

 

I feel this way once in a while. My next-door neighbor is very involved in the neighborhood school and tells me about the wonderful projects she's involved with and the fun things her kids do at school. (In the course of normal conversation. She's sweet and fun and thinks it's neat that we homeschool.) It's the school my kids would go to, and it's a decent school with loving friendly staff and (mostly) nice kids. And I think, "Gosh, building mouse mazes sound so cool! My kids would love to do that!" or whatever.

 

I deal with it by reminding myself that life is about making choices. We cannot possibly do every wonderful thing that comes along. Making the best choices for our family means that we give up the good things along the paths we do not take, and that's ok. :)

 

I hope that comes across as it's intended. Last time I posted this sentiment, in a different context, I was taken to task by another poster for not being helpful. I actually mean it in a very positive way. We must come to peaceful terms with the choices we make in our lives, let go of the "what ifs" and live our lives confident that our choices are the best ones we can make in this season of our lives.

 

Cat