Heather in Neverland Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Do you ever consider getting DNA testing to see if you are ACTUALLY related to your family? I got a birthday card from my aunt today. Happy birthday, I miss you, blah blah blah… then she says something about how she understands that I needed to find some peace and if I had to go half way around the world to find it then she can live with it * Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? * My family drives me nuts.** They act like they all know me better than I know myself… that I am running from past hurts and traumas… that I live in denial… that I don’t REALLY like it here, I just say that to avoid dealing with my demons, Etc etc etc. * Well I hate to burst everyone’s drama bubble but, I am just not that deep of a person. Yeah, a lot of crappy things have happened in my life. But crappy things happen to everyone. MOVE ON. I don’t have the time or the inclination to spend my time navel-gazing, reliving the past, and wallowing in misery. * Just because my mom and her sister LOVE to dredge up the past and relive every sad moment every chance they get does not mean I am the same way. I am FINE. Really. I promise. UGH Well I guess I better get busy... Apparently I have a glass menagerie to assemble and I am behind schedule. :tongue_smilie: Signed, Emotionally fragile and delusional Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 What is with all the asterisks? This iPad is weird sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I am apparently not that deep either and more than a little blonde. I thought that the 'hurt' you are dealing with is not knowing who your real family is....and you were thinking of doing a DNA test to figure it out. I had to read your post several times. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Let's just say that there IS a reason I live 2000 miles from my family!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Well, considering I was adopted at birth, no. I know I am not biologically related to my family! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Not a DNA test to find out if I'm related to my family, but to find out if I'm related to someone else's. Seriously. :grouphug: Heather. I have ppl who think they know me better than I do, even down to insisting that I'm wrong/lying when I contradict them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 :grouphug: Heather. I have ppl who think they know me better than I do, even down to insisting that I'm wrong/lying when I contradict them. oh exactly!! I can't win because if I try to tell them they are wrong they just give me this sad look like "poor little thing, look how delusional she is. She doesn't even realize it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I think sometimes it's more about projecting their own issues on you so they can feel justified in their feelings. I mean garsh, if you just dealt with it and moved on then that means they might be able to as well and that can't be right - they enjoy the wallowing too much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I swear, Heather -- sometimes I wonder if we come from the same whack family, LOL. Two of my sisters just announced on FB that they're writing a book -- yet wouldn't answer "about what?" when all of their friends asked them. Gee... I don't know, let me guess: your selective, held-on-to-it-all-too-long memories of our childhood? Let go and let God. The past is the past for a reason. A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Different personality types. They are the melancholy sort and are projecting their own thoughts/feelings on you. Maybe that's how they live, just be thankful you DON'T. I find it hard to be around these personalities at times. Just be thankful you're not living in the past! I have friends AND family who do that. Past experiences, bad AND good, shape who we are, but I get SO sick of seeing 50 year olds complaining about their childhoods. :glare: I hope you continue to find peace and healing on the other side of the world.;):lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I understand. :grouphug: My family is not quite so bad but every now and then I get a phone call that makes me go "what"? The sort of call that starts "I just thought you needed to know that xxx has decided to yyy, I thought I needed to tell you first." XXX is a grown adult and yyy is none of my business. I can never figure out what to say... "Good for them!" ... "How upsetting"... "Oh my stars and garters." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 oh exactly!! I can't win because if I try to tell them they are wrong they just give me this sad look like "poor little thing, look how delusional she is. She doesn't even realize it!" Exactly! I must be really immature, b/c it makes me want to smack them in their smug heads, or kick them in the shins or something. I think sometimes it's more about projecting their own issues on you so they can feel justified in their feelings. I mean garsh, if you just dealt with it and moved on then that means they might be able to as well and that can't be right - they enjoy the wallowing too much! Heck yes! Not even 'might be able to' but 'need to'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I think sometimes it's more about projecting their own issues on you so they can feel justified in their feelings. I mean garsh, if you just dealt with it and moved on then that means they might be able to as well and that can't be right - they enjoy the wallowing too much! :iagree: Dh's sister is EXACTLY like this. How dare anyone else get healthy, move on, and be happy because she MUST continue to wallow and be the family martyr!!! Dh has very little contact with her anymore and it's a blessing. Honestly, if she ever tried to move anywhere near us, you can bet that dh would absolutely take a job in Thailand and move us just to keep her away! I'm sorry...but, people are like that. They have built their entire lives around the dysfunction and drama and cannot imagine living without it. They have major issues with people who have decided to move ahead. Just send her a picture of Natalie and say, "SHE is why God lead us here!" End it at that. Maybe, just maybe, she'll take a hint. Probably not. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 Just send her a picture of Natalie and say, "SHE is why God lead us here!" End it at that. Maybe, just maybe, she'll take a hint. Probably not. Faith Awww.... I love you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I am just not that deep of a person. Yeah, a lot of crappy things have happened in my life. But crappy things happen to everyone. MOVE ON. I don’t have the time or the inclination to spend my time navel-gazing, reliving the past, and wallowing in misery. Yeah same. I had people trying to shove me into "therapy" [i don't even like the word!] for years because apparently one can't go through a yucky childhood and mucked up adolescence without needing to "process" and all that junk. How about just getting on with life? Stuff happens. Whatever. Life goes on, not everyone needs to analyze every scrap. [disclaimer: this ain't a personal slam against anyone who sees a therapist or whatnot. if it works for you, fabulous. do your thing. it just doesn't work for me.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 [disclaimer: this ain't a personal slam against anyone who sees a therapist or whatnot. if it works for you, fabulous. do your thing. it just doesn't work for me.] You poor thing. Your need for therapy is obvious to the rest of us. You don't need to deny it sweetie. We are here for you. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Yeah same. I had people trying to shove me into "therapy" [i don't even like the word!] for years because apparently one can't go through a yucky childhood and mucked up adolescence without needing to "process" and all that junk. How about just getting on with life? Stuff happens. Whatever. Life goes on, not everyone needs to analyze every scrap. [disclaimer: this ain't a personal slam against anyone who sees a therapist or whatnot. if it works for you, fabulous. do your thing. it just doesn't work for me.] THANK YOU! If I want to pay someone $100 to make me feel better about myself, it's going to be for a cut, color and style. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Do you ever consider getting DNA testing to see if you are ACTUALLY related to your family? I got a birthday card from my aunt today. Happy birthday, I miss you, blah blah blah… then she says something about how she understands that I needed to find some peace and if I had to go half way around the world to find it then she can live with it * Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? * My family drives me nuts.** They act like they all know me better than I know myself… that I am running from past hurts and traumas… that I live in denial… that I don’t REALLY like it here, I just say that to avoid dealing with my demons, Etc etc etc. * Well I hate to burst everyone’s drama bubble but, I am just not that deep of a person. Yeah, a lot of crappy things have happened in my life. But crappy things happen to everyone. MOVE ON. I don’t have the time or the inclination to spend my time navel-gazing, reliving the past, and wallowing in misery. * Just because my mom and her sister LOVE to dredge up the past and relive every sad moment every chance they get does not mean I am the same way. I am FINE. Really. I promise. UGH Well I guess I better get busy... Apparently I have a glass menagerie to assemble and I am behind schedule. :tongue_smilie: Signed, Emotionally fragile and delusional Darlin' this is why "bless your heart" was invented -- crazy family. Just keep smiling and saying it. It'll make you feel so much better. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 THANK YOU! If I want to pay someone $100 to make me feel better about myself, it's going to be for a cut, color and style. a :lol::lol: and :iagree:I am blessed because even though I and my two siblings really did have a completely dysfunctional childhood (for example, I celebrated my 6th birthday at Eastern State Mental Hospital in Williamsburg because my mom was committed there at the time), none of us cares to rehash it all and make it the cornerstone of our existence. I can't imagine having to deal with relatives who insisted on reliving it. In any case, Heather, I think the asterisks are cute.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 THANK YOU! If I want to pay someone $100 to make me feel better about myself, it's going to be for a cut, color and style. a Amen! And for a $100.00, I also expect the salon to have chocolate or coffee or both! True therapy indeed!!!!! :lol: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 My mom said basically the same thing when I changed countries! I don't understand why. She said things like, "You're running from something." Huh? Maybe I want to do missions because I want to do missions. I've told her since I was very small that I wasn't going to stay in America once I grew up. And I didn't. It's that simple. Her reaction makes no sense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I completly understand how you feel. When I was little I had a best friend for several years, but we were distanced during highschool due to being in different towns and not having the time we once did. Well years later, my husband attended to my friends mom at the bank he works at. He mentioned that we wanted another baby (because this is a family friend) and she told my husband that I wasn't cut out to be a mother of more then one, that I would be too easily frazzled and would have a melt down. :confused: I have always wanted a big family! And who is she to make that judgement on me and then share it with my husband behind my back? There are a lot of people here who have all these pre-conceived ideas about me and I feel better being a shut in while im here, because at least my house is my own little world where I can be who I am and not just who people see me as because they think they know it all. I hate living here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 THANK YOU! If I want to pay someone $100 to make me feel better about myself, it's going to be for a cut, color and style. a That's my kind of thinking as well though I admit my husband and I went to a psychologist for councilling this past winter and it was money well spent! Of course, the psychologist was very down-to-earth and gave us specific tips and homework rather then analyse everything. She even gave us some advice on good, cheap dog fencing and how to raise chickens. :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I am apparently not that deep either and more than a little blonde. I thought that the 'hurt' you are dealing with is not knowing who your real family is....and you were thinking of doing a DNA test to figure it out. I had to read your post several times. :lol: :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Amen! My family is the same way. Really, I am fine, I am not in denial I just don't dwell on the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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