Pamela H in Texas Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I wish this was a great how-to post where I found the perfect answer. Instead, it is a plea for help! We are working on lack of sleep (4yr old woke everyone else up at midnight; baby is teething so up -though happy- three times last night) and just some extreme naughtiness (not any great level other than I didn't appreciate being called a B**** by a preschooler, just *constant*). We are supposed to be going to a party this morning. There is no way we're going to even come close to on time at this point. But going to a party when we're already doing so poorly (not to mention, it seems like rewarding bad behavior) seems..... But the party was serving more than one purpose and should the other children involved (it's just another family) miss out because my kids have lost their minds? And maybe getting out of the house will help. I don't know. I wish I could just turn around this morning and move on. Maybe I'll start with a big cup of water and an aspirin. Ideas, hugs, "this too shall pass" or whatever else you have to offer would be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I wish this was a great how-to post where I found the perfect answer. Instead, it is a plea for help! We are working on lack of sleep (4yr old woke everyone else up at midnight; baby is teething so up -though happy- three times last night) and just some extreme naughtiness (not any great level other than I didn't appreciate being called a B**** by a preschooler, just *constant*). We are supposed to be going to a party this morning. There is no way we're going to even come close to on time at this point. But going to a party when we're already doing so poorly (not to mention, it seems like rewarding bad behavior) seems..... But the party was serving more than one purpose and should the other children involved (it's just another family) miss out because my kids have lost their minds? And maybe getting out of the house will help. I don't know. I wish I could just turn around this morning and move on. Maybe I'll start with a big cup of water and an aspirin. Ideas, hugs, "this too shall pass" or whatever else you have to offer would be nice. Go to the party. It will reset everyone's attitude & energy levels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Your day is shot, the other kids are waiting, go have fun! Deal with the behaviors in a different manner. if you have time you can read or watch a video this afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 The word often used in pre-school is 'redirect'. Go to the party. Change of scenery will help more than you can imagine. Hang in there. :grouphug: The low pressure here is making the twins absolutely intolerable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :iagree: Go to the party. Get some exercise. Get the dc some exercise. (Make sure the dc eat some "real" food with all the party food.) Start over this afternoon. Or tomorrow. :D There's just too much going on outside the 4 year old's control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I definitely agree with going to the party. As far as turning around a frustrating morning, sometimes what works here is to just go completely, off-the-wall crazy/silly and get everyone laughing. Tickle fights, pillow fights, chasing them down and play-wrestling (usually with lots of kisses!) . . . anything that breaks up the grumpies and gets me off of the "mean momma" hook. A few minutes of silliness often seems to reset attitudes and changes our outlooks. I've only got two, though--it might be harder to implement with a crowd like yours! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2l&j Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I could see our morning going down the same road so I started tickling. It helped everyone's attitude. We've successfully made it to the afternoon without any major meltdowns for DS (or DH). :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I wish this was a great how-to post where I found the perfect answer. Instead, it is a plea for help! We are working on lack of sleep (4yr old woke everyone else up at midnight; baby is teething so up -though happy- three times last night) and just some extreme naughtiness (not any great level other than I didn't appreciate being called a B**** by a preschooler, just *constant*). We are supposed to be going to a party this morning. There is no way we're going to even come close to on time at this point. But going to a party when we're already doing so poorly (not to mention, it seems like rewarding bad behavior) seems..... But the party was serving more than one purpose and should the other children involved (it's just another family) miss out because my kids have lost their minds? And maybe getting out of the house will help. I don't know. I wish I could just turn around this morning and move on. Maybe I'll start with a big cup of water and an aspirin. Ideas, hugs, "this too shall pass" or whatever else you have to offer would be nice. I don't know what others advised but at our house calling momma a bad word is NOT ACCEPTABLE. It is grounds for grounding, not having the privilege of going anywhere. If you have a way of everyone else going aka husband? I would keep the name caller home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'd keep my kids home if the situation is as you've described. Quiet day, quiet activities, long nap time, early bed. Not as punishment but because adding the stress and chaos to an already stressful and chaotic day is not something I'd want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug: we have been known to go back to bed and start over. they often think its ridiculous, but i really ham it up and they end up laughing (even the 13 year old, although it is often accompanied by some restrained eye rolling). and i can explain that children who are rude don't get to go to parties, but i know they really want to go, so i am just going to go back to bed and then get up and start the day all over again. if when i do that, i have pleasant, cheerful, helpful children, then i can certainly take them to a party.... but i'm concerned that a four year old has that as part of their vocabulary and would choose to direct it at you..... i'm hoping for your sake that you dont' have anyone else in your life who does that : (. if you do, i'd suggest they need to stop. hope your day turns out to be wonderful! ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I would have the littles piled in a bath, at least my crew something about a bath/shower makes them feel better. Even now if we are having a particularily hard day I start the bath for the littles then make the bigs go have a shower/soak. Everyone's moods improve. Then i would go tot eh party. A change of scenery, lots going on etc may be just what you all need. My dd4 was up most of the night so I hear you on that one. and based on the fighting with the rest I don't think they got much sleep either. My plan is to start baths right away followed by some tea and a movie for everyone to just relax and be calm for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I always think of parties as honoring the one you're going to visit. So, even naughty children can go and honor their host :) This to.... will pass... :) Perhaps have your little one do a collage of "nice things to say" and "acceptable ways to say you're angry" would be good.... (Pics out of magazines and such) So, if they say "naughties" you can suggest a do-over by them picking an acceptable "angry word" out of their choices. (As least I didn't suggest hot sauce :)) Little ones don't know the meaning of words; they just know that they've heard others say them. I know you know that:) Just trying to take the sting out of them. I'd actually explain what the word meant, in 4 year old language... because that way... them calling you a mother dog... really isn't as much fun :) You're gonna make it... (hugs) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) Thanks y'all. I hate to have the 4yr old maligned. It was the 3yr old with the mouth. His father taught him to call their mother that; so now when he gets mad at me, that is what he says. Not usually, but this was the third time. The joys of raising other people's children. BTW, he is one of the three we are keeping (unless someone pops up in the 11th hour). Well, so what happened so far: First, somehow I missed the memo that the party was moved to this afternoon. That was a good thing considering. So hubby takes care of the kids and I tried to nap when the baby did (didn't go very well). Then I get up and my daughter texts me that the party is postponed. My friend had to go out and deliver a baby (she's a midwife). So now we're waiting to hear how that goes otherwise party is tomorrow afternoon. Mostly, I think I'm just gonna write this morning off. Really, this house is a household of nine very imperfect people. Kinda makes since we're gonna have a bad morning once in awhile. Edited August 27, 2011 by 2J5M9K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'm kinda late here, but I'd be sighing with relief that the party was postponed. I don't know but from prior posts, I assume we're talking about foster kids who have a bit of baggage to deal with. So the cuss word is not quite what it would be if it came out of a child you'd raised since birth. Without knowing just where this rates on his "bad day" scale, I am not sure what the best reaction would be, if the party had gone on. But ideally, some time to just be together and deal face to face (perhaps after a nap) may be the best thing. On the other hand, my 4yos generally surprise me. If I think it's gonna be a rough evening because they haven't had a nap, they are usually good as gold. If I think they are going to be just adorable, they are bratty. So with that experience, I'd say go to the party, and chances are they'll be little angels. If they're anything like mine, anyway. (Not to say I'd take my kids to a party after being called a B----, but again, my kids don't have the same background.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 They seem fine this afternoon after nap. We're going to go play outside after I feed this baby (again). I don't know what is going on with our friends so need to check with my big kids about that. I think they were just tired. They *never* get to sleep through the night because 1-4 of them wake up EVERY night (only kid here that sleeps through the night is the baby!); but I guess it was worse last night. And I was in a bit of a mood myself especially since I'm not feeling very well (upset tummy, very very weak). So seems like the nap did the trick. Additionally, it was a very stressful week for our guys. The two littlest didn't get to do their normal routine at all. The oldest went to school. The middle two boys had no idea what to do without their ringleader. We'll play hard during the sunlight hours, watch a movie and get to bed at a good time :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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