We need the money more than you.

[LisaKinVA]

So, my MIL/FIL "disinherited" their three sons from FIL's father's will, taking out the money my dh's grandfather willed to the 3 boys (they oversaw the rewriting of the will to put everything to my FIL). MIL told me about it, of course I told dh, who spoke to his brothers. When the boys confronted their mom about it, she said that "they needed the money more."

 

Of course, if someone had done that to her... it would be completely wrong. Please PRAY they get their financial house in order (they are in HUGE trouble. Trouble so big that the money they are taking from their sons wouldn't make a difference in the least). I don't think I could take living with this woman... I really, really don't.

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: money is often a sore subject. I understand.

[Rebecca VA]

That is very sad, because I'm sure your husband's grandfather took great delight in being able to leave him an inheritance.

[ma23peas]

It is a desperate selfish move she is making, but she is older, not prepared for her future and just lost respect from her three sons..i would say you are much ahead of her pitiful condition...as hard as it is, do not put the value of that inheritance above what time you have left with her...money is just paper..but people put a ridiculously high value on it...where is the grandfather? Was he of a mind to sign iy?

[happyhomemaker25]

When my SIL died with no will my FIL decided to divide her insurance money between her brother and sisters and him and my MIL. He said they would divide it 4 ways and it was a large sum of money. When the day came to give the money he said that he and my MIL had decided to keep a very large portion of the money to help pay my MIL's future expenses. One of my SIL's blew up and stormed out of the house. She'd been counting on the whole share my FIL had promised them. My other SIL and my DH were shocked but decided it was not worth arguing about.

My MIL was a master manipulator and very greedy. We could have all used the money FIL had promised. DH had already been out of work a year, SIL was newly divorced with a teenage daughter, and other SIL's husband had just retired and they had a son starting college.

MIL died a week later in her sleep. Her daughters still have not forgiven her.

[QuirkyKapers]

Wow- that will certainly cause hard feelings....:grouphug: That is so sad that they are in that predicament and have gone agains the grandfather's wishes.

[RahRah]

:grouphug:

 

It happens. When DH's grandmother died a few years ago, she left everything to her three sons (FIL and DH's two uncles) with the specific expectation that they would each divide the money up equally amongst themselves, their children and grandchildren (her great-grandchildren). She felt this was easier since each son had differing numbers of children, and they each had different numbers of children - she basically wanted each son's family to have the same amount to divide up. Long story short - while both of DH's uncles did exactly that, MIL & FIL didn't - so DH got nothing, nor did our children - they *needed* the money more than we did according to MIL.

[gardenmom5]

So, my MIL/FIL "disinherited" their three sons from FIL's father's will, taking out the money my dh's grandfather willed to the 3 boys (they oversaw the rewriting of the will to put everything to my FIL). MIL told me about it, of course I told dh, who spoke to his brothers. When the boys confronted their mom about it, she said that "they needed the money more."

 

Of course, if someone had done that to her... it would be completely wrong. Please PRAY they get their financial house in order (they are in HUGE trouble. Trouble so big that the money they are taking from their sons wouldn't make a difference in the least). I don't think I could take living with this woman... I really, really don't.

 

I've recently gone through this in my own family. Your IL's money is their money, and what they do with it is their business - even if it means they leave nothing to their sons. even if it means they blow it all and get tossed on the street. (which may or may not teach them about fiscal responsibility.)

otoh - money that had been legally willed to them by their grandfather wasn't FIL's money to take and if the will was filed with the state (or you have a copy), you have recourse. (you have to decide if it is worth going to court over.) If the will had been changed to leave everything to his son (your fil) before gfil died, then that was the will. if you feel, and have medical proof, that the gfil was mentally vulnerable and manipulated in changing his will, that can also be challeneged. wills cannot legally be rewritten posthumously.

[Supertechmom]

:grouphug:

 

It happens. When DH's grandmother died a few years ago, she left everything to her three sons (FIL and DH's two uncles) with the specific expectation that they would each divide the money up equally amongst themselves, their children and grandchildren (her great-grandchildren). She felt this was easier since each son had differing numbers of children, and they each had different numbers of children - she basically wanted each son's family to have the same amount to divide up. Long story short - while both of DH's uncles did exactly that, MIL & FIL didn't - so DH got nothing, nor did our children - they *needed* the money more than we did according to MIL.

 

Exact same thing here except we need the money having been underpaid for months and going through nursing school. MIL even went as far as to say there was no specifics in the will regarding the grandchildren(hubby) Dh's granny had been so excited in the last conversation with us over how much we would get when she died as it would have boosted us completely out of this mess the economy crash left us in. NOPe, mil decided to keep it all and invested 20.00 a month for the grandchildren. ( cause that's going go real far !!!!) :tongue_smilie: :D

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:How sad.

 

Recently, I've been saddened to tears at how my mil worried more over money than thee care and life of her dh.

[mycalling]

I'm sorry. People do get greedy when it comes to money. When my great aunt died, the families of the 2 brothers who had abandoned her and my grandmother as teenagers popped up almost SIXTY YEARS later to claim their share of my great aunt's estate.:glare:

[LisaKinVA]

Just popping back in... answering a few questions:

 

GFIL's will was being updated to reflect pending divorce from his 2nd wife who abandoned him. He is in end-of-life care, and will pass away before the divorce is final.

 

At the point the will was changed, there is a medical diagnosis of Dimensia on record at the time of the new will. My FIL was the guardian, and made all legal decisions. Most everything was switched to cash (all assets sold), and put into "payable upon death" accounts, except for insurance policy. They told US they were updating the will to eliminate 2nd wife issues (reflecting pre-nup, etc.), after the fact they told us they decided (meaning FIL and MIL, NOT GFIL) had eliminated the boys as well.

 

None of us are going to sue over this, but yes, I believe we could.

 

The whole family is descending upon my house for Thanksgiving. The current plan is to use the couple of blow-up beds we have... I'm certain we won't hear the end of our lack of furniture in the house when they arrive (kid's beds are mattresses on the floor, folding tables/chairs, etc. etc.), they will be sleeping on a futon... etc.). At which point, I think you can guess what our ready-response will be. ;)

[Susan in TN]

Ugh. I remember when my 4th was born - my parents had been planning their visit and let us know 3 months in advance when they would come and how long they'd stay, etc. My in-laws, however, didn't make up their minds to visit until 3 days before they left - same time as my parents' visit, no less.

 

Then they had the audacity to complain that they didn't get to stay in the "guest bedroom/office" (on a blow-up mattress) and had to sleep in the boys' room (on a blow-up mattress) while the boys slept on the floor in the living room.

 

I can't imagine the fun Thanksgiving dinner will be at your house. :banghead:

[gardenmom5]

At the point the will was changed, there is a medical diagnosis of Dimensia on record at the time of the new will. My FIL was the guardian, and made all legal decisions. Most everything was switched to cash (all assets sold), and put into "payable upon death" accounts, except for insurance policy. They told US they were updating the will to eliminate 2nd wife issues (reflecting pre-nup, etc.), after the fact they told us they decided (meaning FIL and MIL, NOT GFIL) had eliminated the boys as well.

 

None of us are going to sue over this, but yes, I believe we could.

 

wow. definitely contestable. despite dealing with greedy siblings (who've both taken trips over the edge about money), I just don't understand the mindset.

 

(though I was amused by my sister's query to our brother. (mother's trust's extra super duper nasty "you'll be cut out if you cause any trouble" clause was due to her previous behavior when my father and grandmother died). my brother postures as a christian/believer - I seriously think he doesn't know what he believes, especially as seems to change on a regular basis - she asked him why as a christian his favorite charity was himself. but she also commented he reminded her of the people who give their money to ramtha. scary thing was she didn't know how close she'd come to the truth with that one.)

 

The whole family is descending upon my house for Thanksgiving. The current plan is to use the couple of blow-up beds we have...

my condolences. I've come to hate thanksgiving. complainers are welcome to stay at the local motel six.

Edited August 16, 2011 by gardenmom5

[bettyandbob]

J

The whole family is descending upon my house for Thanksgiving. The current plan is to use the couple of blow-up beds we have... I'm certain we won't hear the end of our lack of furniture in the house when they arrive (kid's beds are mattresses on the floor, folding tables/chairs, etc. etc.), they will be sleeping on a futon... etc.). At which point, I think you can guess what our ready-response will be. ;)

 

 

I believe this is the reason movie theaters are open on Thanksgiving Day. The family can do something together without interacting. Perhaps your inlaws can take the and everyone to see a new release while you and dh prepare the meal and enjoy a few glasses of wine together.

[Firestar Academy]

Money is always a tough subject.

 

when my husbands grandmother died, we had *hoped* for something. but, in the end found out she left it all (a couple million) to Penn State in a scholarship fund. I guess someone else's kids can go to college!!

 

We didn't even want anything for ourselves, but college funds for the girls would have been nice. They are the only legacy. as noone else in the family ever had kids.

 

Robin in NJ

[LisaKinVA]

Money is always a tough subject.

 

when my husbands grandmother died, we had *hoped* for something. but, in the end found out she left it all (a couple million) to Penn State in a scholarship fund. I guess someone else's kids can go to college!!

 

We didn't even want anything for ourselves, but college funds for the girls would have been nice. They are the only legacy. as noone else in the family ever had kids.

 

Robin in NJ

 

I can certainly understand the dissapointment. I've had other grandparents who didn't think things through very well... sorry! Money with my ILs goes back a long while (a gift is NEVER a gift kind of things).