Mrs. A Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Dd2 (18months) has been super attached to me since birth. I like to joke that she was so attached she didn't even want to come out- she was late and then when I was in labor it stalled. When I finally got her head pushed out her shoulders got stuck. Lol. She just wanted to stay in there!! Anyway, she has always preferred me over anyone else and is very clingy when I'm around. She literally hangs on my legs sometimes while I'm trying to cook dinner or get stuff done around the house. When we are in public she never goes to strangers, which I consider normal, but she even refuses DH quite often. Now there are times when she is not hanging on me and will play independently and not need me, but it's not as often as I'd like. The reason I'm even posting this is that someone a church commented yesterday that we ought to keep an eye on her because maybe she has a neurological condition that makes her act this way. Needless to say I was extremely annoyed by the comment and very defensive (fortunately she said it to DH and not me, so I didn't have a chance to say anything rude to her), but on the other hand I started wondering.... Does this sort of clinginess and need every go away? Does anyone else have dc like this? How has it played out at they have grown? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My son was clingy in that I could never ever leave him with anyone. I had to teach his sunday school class, I couldn't use babysitters, etc. He wouldn't talk to strangers at all. He did turn out to have Aspergers. However, he wasn't clingy at home....he was actually hell on wheels. I think that level of cling is somewhat normal but I'd also encourage and reward some independence. I wouldn't push her, but would just acknowledge when she is doing something on her own. And I'd make sure all her needs for touch are being met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My 2yo is the proverbial "mama's boy", no one in the world quite compares to his mommy :D. There are some days that I can't put him down or he follows me everywhere. Just recently he has gotten so that I can leave him with my mom for a few hours while I run some errands. I can't leave him in the nursery at church and he won't have anything to do with strangers. I'm just enjoying the fact that I am his favorite right now:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 She is ONE year old! Even if she were SIX, I wouldn't think she was just gonna be clingy forever. Of course, I have a clingy toddler (almost 18mo) and my ds was still VERY clingy at 6. Meet their needs now and they'll grow up and go do their own things. Make them insecure now because of fear and they will have a harder time later. JMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My dd was that way! She was SOOOO scared of people. She wanted me to hold her all the time. She wouldn't stay in the church nursery and I helped out in her Sunday School classes. Yup - same stuff. I was apparently the same way, but my mom pushed me. She forced me into those situations where I was uncomfortable WAY too young. I remember some of them. I think it made me fearful/anxious. So, I never pushed dd. It was incredibly frustrating at times. Now, at 5 1/2, she is the most outgoing child you'll ever meet. Really. She readily goes into her classes (gymnastics, ballet, and karate). She participated in a kids' club on our last cruise and BEGGED us to take her back all the time and then told me I could leave! I thought that would never happen. She still has her days occasionally. This past Sunday, she didn't want to stay in the nursery because she wanted to stay near me. But, it's easier now. I get somewhat of a break!!! Interestingly, my ds who has ASpergers was not anywhere nearly this attached to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 She is ONE year old! Even if she were SIX, I wouldn't think she was just gonna be clingy forever. Of course, I have a clingy toddler (almost 18mo) and my ds was still VERY clingy at 6. Meet their needs now and they'll grow up and go do their own things. Make them insecure now because of fear and they will have a harder time later. JMO. I need the 'like' button for this one!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My 15 y.o. was very clingy to me. I could not leave her anywhere or with anyone without heart wrenching crying from her. Dh was tolerated as long as I was close by~which in retrospect is kind of amusing because he worked overtime to gain her affection and she is now a total daddy's girl :). I don't know what your church friend saw to make that assessment, but from what you describe, she sounds like my dd who has no problem being away from me now :001_rolleyes:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My second child has always been clingy. Like your daughter, she was late to be born and always seemed to want to be back in the womb. She slept in our bed, holding my hand, until she was about four. She *still* holds my or my husband's hand whenever we're out in public, which can be a little embarrassing since she's now 14. She doesn't want to make decisions -- she'd rather have someone else decide things for her. There *may* be some neurological or other reason for her clinginess. She had balance and other OT issues when she was younger. She's hyperextended (long arms and legs with loose joints) which probably makes her feel wobbly and keeps her from gaining strength easily. She seems to have ADD -- she has trouble focusing and is flighty. She was a very late talker. However, she's always been an excellent student. I think she's going to be a late bloomer -- self-determination is going to kick in for her in her late teens or even early 20s. There's not a thing in the world I can do to force the issue, and I don't want to push her away before she feels ready. My husband and I were both late bloomers, but we outgrew that, and we're confident she will as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I have one of those kids. There is nothing wrong with her. She does have sensory issues but I don't think the sensory stuff causes the shyness. There are people in this world who are introverted. There is noting wrong with that. Don't force an introvert to become extroverted. That may cause all sorts of issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Agree with PP who pointed out that your DD is still very young and that this behavior, at that age, is far, far from being abnormal, for heaven's sake. Too many people are out there trying to be dime store psychologists these days, imho. She is sounds perfectly normal to me. Children that age need their Mama! Hit the ignore button on that comment :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 She is ONE year old! Even if she were SIX, I wouldn't think she was just gonna be clingy forever. Of course, I have a clingy toddler (almost 18mo) and my ds was still VERY clingy at 6. Meet their needs now and they'll grow up and go do their own things. Make them insecure now because of fear and they will have a harder time later. JMO. :iagree: I would be more concerned with an 18 month old that didn't seem attached to Mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I had one of those too! He just couldn't see the point of being with anyone else when I fulfilled all his needs. He wasn't interested in anyone else not even dh because he just couldn't see the advantage of being with him over me! When he was a little older and could express his thoughts, I did ask him why he sat at the front door and cried for an hr solidly when I went out to the drs on my own rather than play with grandma and he just said " I like being with you"! That in a nut shell was it, he just preferred me over anyone else. In the end he was the easiest child of mine to leave me when he went to school, no tears at all, he was ready finally to move on on his own. Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 My 5yo was like this. We called him Klingon baby. I dropped Curves because he was so upset at being left with grandma and sibs for that 40 min. Now at 5, he has done sleepovers at Grandma's and best friends (with at least one sibling) and is more attached to sissy than mom. He still looks to me when sick or injured, but he gets more upset when she is gone or has a friend over that takes her attention than when I went away for 3 nights. I think he is like this because I was willing to take him every where with me rather than forcing him to stay with a sitter when he wasn't ready. I have seen many clingy babies grow to be independent kids if their needs were met when little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. A Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 :iagree: I would be more concerned with an 18 month old that didn't seem attached to Mom. Thank you. This was my initial reaction. I have an extrememly strong tendency to doubt myself whenever I am presented with an opposing opinion- even on issues where I am (supposedly) absolutely sure of where I stand. I need to develop a thicker skin it seems. How to do that is another question! Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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