If you were looking for a new church, what would you look for?

[lovelaughs_times_three]

Obviously the question assumes that you go to a church. I know that is not the case for everyone. So, I guess I'm asking those who do attend a church. If, for whatever reason, you were needing to find a new church to attend, what would you be looking for? What would draw you to one church over another? What would you be hoping to find?

 

What are your reasons for attending one church over another church?

[Ann.without.an.e]

A church that teaches the Bible accurately.

A group of people with a heart for God and missions.

A church where serving others is as important as serving themselves (this could go under the missions reason, I suppose)

[Daisy]

I usually start by reading their statement of faith and any links to doctrinal statements online. Obviously we are looking for likemindedness on major doctrines.

 

Then we visit. While visiting, we are looking for genuine worship, expository preaching, missions-minded, and hopefully a wide range of ages present.

 

If the visit went well, we set up an appointment to speak with the minister and then we grill him within an inch of his life over his doctrine, church accountability, etc.

 

There you go. :lol:

[JVA]

:iagree::iagree: What they said.......and since we are classically trained musicians, the style and skill of the music/musicians is important to us.

[Laurie4b]

Agreement with major doctrine and leadership style would be two of my big ones. I would avoid a church run by an autocratic leader or leaders.

[i.love.lucy]

A great resource for this is the 9 Marks website. Mark Dever has identified the 9 marks of a healthy church. And they have churches who meet that criteria identified. Anyways, it's a good list of things to look for.

[lovelaughs_times_three]

Would your ability to make friends at a church affect you? Would you ever choose a church because you knew you had friends there?

 

What about your kids? What are you looking for, for them?

[milovany]

During our last church search, we decided to look at church history instead of just personal preferences and landed upon the Eastern Orthodox church (longest history, a united faith around the world, etc.). We joined a little more than a year ago. So in that way I guess you can say the decision is already made if we were ever in a position to look again; we'd look for an Orthodox church.

Edited July 14, 2011 by milovaný
Because sometimes I sound snobby and I don't intend to.

[DawnM]

Well, we have been searching.

 

While music and teaching are important, the truth is, for us, it boils down to the people, the fellowship, and the youth group.

 

We have been in churches that were quite country club in nature. We never felt at home there, but the teaching was solid if you just look at that.

 

We went to a church where the people were warm and the youth group was great (very not into today's culture) but it was over the top conservative and DH couldn't hang.

 

Now we go to a small church that meets in a school. The youth group appears to not be too "cool" in nature so we will see how it goes.

 

People appear to be down to earth and friendly. We will see how that goes.

 

We like the over-emphasis on missions at this church. (I don't mean over as in too much, but over as in over what we have encountered at other churches.)

 

We like that they have outreaches.

 

It is HARD to find a good balance.

 

Dawn

[mirandahoops]

A church that teaches the Bible accurately.

A group of people with a heart for God and missions.

A church where serving others is as important as serving themselves (this could go under the missions reason, I suppose)

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Teachin'Mine]

Would your ability to make friends at a church affect you? Would you ever choose a church because you knew you had friends there?

 

What about your kids? What are you looking for, for them?

 

Absolutely. This is assuming that it's the denomination I'm looking for, and the priest, or preacher, is delivering a strong message which is encouraging me to grow in my spirituality. I expect to leave church changed in some way. Having family friends would be a definite bonus but not critical if the other needs weren't met.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Obviously the question assumes that you go to a church. I know that is not the case for everyone. So, I guess I'm asking those who do attend a church. If, for whatever reason, you were needing to find a new church to attend, what would you be looking for? What would draw you to one church over another? What would you be hoping to find?

 

What are your reasons for attending one church over another church?

 

Things that have attracted me in the past:

 

Members are friendly, outgoing and seem to be interested in our being there. I guess this is partly that they know the current members well enough to know that we are new.

 

Pastor references the Bible a lot during a sermon. Extra points for tackling tough subjects that might not be pleasing to members of the congregation (past sermons that impressed include intimacy, forgiving each other, forgiving each other part two (because some members didn't get it), and greed and gossip).

 

I also appreciate a lot of self deprecation from a pastor. A sense of coming alongside as a fellow forgiven sinner rather than dictating or threatening. All of the pastors we've loved have been men who loved learning and education and still were interested in learning a lot. Yet they were not afraid to work hard with their hands and get dirty too.

 

Church is very service oriented. Many outreach missions because members believe in putting feet onto their beliefs. They don't wait for someone else to come and take charge, but pitch in themselves.

 

The send me feeling extends to missions. Our home church as a young family had sent a number of church members (individuals and families) out as missionaries, with a large number of missions boards and with the church itself serving as a missions board.

 

A willingness to work with other believers. Same former church was part of a helping hands consortium that hosted food pantries, clothing, furniture and household goods donations, counseling and financial assistance for members of the community (not based on religion). The consortium crossed many denominational lines. One of my favorite old guys at the church had been working with the local Union Mission for several decades. The church had several churches that had been founded by former member families that were in a loose consortium for things like special ministry and education.

 

When I look around at other families, I see people that I would like to be like. They seem to be curious, interested in education, living their faith in an open handed way, and at peace with their spouses and children.

 

 

 

FWIW, I find that worship music is something that is most alien as we move from one church to another. I really have to force myself to participate and worship with the congregation at a new church rather than sitting back and analyzing what I don't like about the music. Yet within a few months, I find that I can enjoy lots of different styles and have felt at home with choirs (and occasional hand bells), praise teams, hula praise dancing, pipe organs and rocking praise bands complete with dimmed lighting and several bass guitars. It is the area where I find I have to adjust and acclimate a lot. Yet in the end, it is the least important bit.

[Melinda in VT]

This is a timely thread for me, as an upcoming move is causing us to rethink our church membership.

 

A deal-breaker for me is equality for women and practicing homosexuals in the church. This eliminates some churches I am otherwise drawn to (most recently, EO, which I still feel sad about).

 

In terms of worship, I prefer a liturgical service. I also love traditional music. (With a few exceptions, I don't like hymns written after about 1870, praise and worship music in church makes my teeth twinge, and I watch out for lightening if I see drums or an electric guitar. ;) )

 

I like to see a church community that is loving and supportive, both to each other and to the community at large. I prefer missions to be focused on meeting needs in the here-and-now, rather than conversion. A strong interfaith spirit is important to me.

 

I like what Sebastian said about a self-deprecating minister.

 

Friends in church would be great, but isn't a requirement if the church is otherwise a good fit.

[Melinda in VT]

FWIW, I find that worship music is something that is most alien as we move from one church to another.

 

I can relate to this part. I left the denomination in which I was raised when I was 30. Lots of theological angst, lots of family drama and grief. Over the long haul, the thing that I miss the most is knowing the hymnal cover-to-cover. I even miss songs whose theology now drives me up a wall. How strange is that?

 

And the worst is when I am singing a hymn in church now knowing that I know other words to that tune. Drives me crazy.

 

</tangent>

[justamouse]

To me it's all about Communion.

 

I want it every week, I want priority placed on it as THAT is the reason we are there.

 

Apart from that, I want to see serious outreach to the community. Food pantry, thrift store SERVING those in the town.

[Bang!Zoom!]

This is a nice timely subject for me. I'll be looking for a new church in a few weeks.

 

At the top of my list is experimenting with a mega <--size wise church with a great youth program.

 

I've looked at several of the services online from one in particular, and I liked the presentation of message.

 

It's amazing the amount of technology some have available which I think is fabulous for the home bound.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I wanted to add that while I'm looking for certain things to match up doctrinally, I'm also willing to extend a lot of grace regarding non-essentials. However, I think that works best in a church that agrees with my assessment of which items are not essential salvation items.

 

The home church I mentioned in the PP was interesting in that one assistant pastor was pretty Calvinist, the other assistant was pretty Arminian and the senior pastor was pretty clear that he didn't understand all the ways in which God worked. One thing that I loved there was that discussion and questions were welcomed. They were met with other discussions and Biblical passages and lots of thinking.

 

I think there have been churches that agreed with me on doctrine that were not open or loving and others where I had to agree to disagree on some points that were incredibly loving and open and welcoming to us.

 

However, I am also reminded of the passage in The Screwtape Letters where Screwtape advises Wormwood to make his patient a sampler of churches in order to emphasize his discontentment with The Church and thus his disenfranchizement with God. It is a challenge to strike the balance between finding a good church and a never ending quest for a perfect church that doesn't perhaps exist. Our moving schedule means that I simply don't have many months (or even weeks) to spend on finding a perfect fit. I am looking for somewhere good enough for me to serve God by serving his people and a place where I will be challenged to become more Christlike. But it just has to be good enough.

[arrowacademy]

Being on the search for a new church family can be exciting and daunting!

 

I'm along the lines of Daisy's thinking with regard to doctrine first (even prior to a physical visit--- i.e. on church website).

 

I also agree w/ Sebastian on this:

Extra points for tackling tough subjects that might not be pleasing to members of the congregation. [Pastors are] men who loved learning and education and still were interested in learning a lot. Yet they were not afraid to work hard with their hands and get dirty too.

 

Church is very service oriented. Many outreach missions because members believe in putting feet onto their beliefs. They don't wait for someone else to come and take charge, but pitch in themselves.

 

A willingness to work with other believers.

 

Hadn't thought of this before, but I would have a difficult time going somewhere if I got the feeling they weren't supportive of homeschooling.

 

Blessings in your search for a church home!

[tntgoodwin]

I always look at the church website to make sure the doctrines/beliefs line up with mine. After that, we like bigger churches with a good children's program.

[shinyhappypeople]

 

• An absolute must is humble, accessible leaders who exhibit good moral behavior week after week.
  
• Excellent children's program where the kids are safe, happy and genuinely loved by the volunteers.
  
• Mainstream evangelical doctrine.
  
• The church and its leaders should have a good reputation in the community.
  
• A clean, comfortable building in a very safe neighborhood. (Note: I didn't say "fancy." A fancy building isn't important to me one way or the other.)
  

 

Those are my "musts."

Edited July 15, 2011 by shinyhappypeople

[sbgrace]

Doctrine/teaching. I don't think any church has correct doctrine on all points. However, there are certain things that are musts for me.

 

People who live their faith. This would mean an emphasis upon growing in our walk with Christ and in His love. Related to that I'd hope for a strong discipleship emphasis in whatever effective form it might take.

 

I think those are my two most important. Relationships matter and community matters. An unfriendly church is a no-go but then would people living their faith be unwelcoming? I'd hope not! I couldn't go to a church with incorrect doctrine on major points even if I had friends in the church at least not when I have children who might be influenced. To be honest the quality of teaching and preaching matters to me even beyond the content. I was spoiled growing up in a church full of quality teachers and it was a surprise to find that isn't always the case.

 

 

I've found the whole church thing frustrating honestly. There aren't any ideal options here. So I go for those top two things in the best form I have available.

Edited July 15, 2011 by sbgrace

[musicmommy]

About 5 years ago, we left a denomination that I had grown up in and worked in most of my life. In fact my dad is a pastor. It was a difficult decision to make, but we felt it was right.

 

We identified the major theology differences that we truly believe. Things such as baptism and communion. That narrowed down the choices. We also evaluated our stand on the whole traditional/contemporary model of worship.

 

We ended up going to several different churches to get a feeling for it. I've done a great deal of research in church growth and development (one of my side hobbies) and we had an idea of what we were looking to see.

 

Because we homeschool, we did look for an active, healthy youth and children's ministry. As a a former worship leader, I was looking for a church large enough to not "need' my skills, but small enough to still have space for me.

 

We were also looking for a church that had a strong focus on missions both local and international and also care within the community.

 

Add to all that, we wanted teaching that was challenging. We don't always agree with our pastor, but he is always open to communication and questions which I love. I was so used to being in a church where the pastor was always right that it was a nice chance for us.

[SonshineLearner]

Church Desires: Expository Preaching in it's truest form(with a translation verus a version & bonus if the pastor knows original languages) Women not in Pastoral leadership; Worship of God where the focus is on God, who He is and What he has done (versus on yourself and what you want), Baptism of people once they're old enough to agree themselves & communion on a regular basis. Fellowship with church members on a regular basis. This is what I desire; a plus would be liturgical type order of service and observing celebrations like Advent together. :)