Would you try to force co-op into your schedule if you thought...

[melissel]

...that not doing it would pretty much eliminate your homeschool social circle (for both you and the kids)?

 

Our HSing friends are mainly very relaxed schoolers or unschoolers. We are not, and DD8 is one of the older kids in the extended circle, so most of the moms haven't yet really had to decide too much about formal schooling. Our friends are starting up a Friday co-op, and it really doesn't work for our schedule very well. However, I can already see that if we aren't involved, we'll end up on the outside of the group, either intentionally or accidentally *sigh*

 

This is basically our HSing community--we've known each other for years and have a lot in common in terms of lifestyle and interests, but our schooling philosophies are quite different. I could shoehorn co-op into the schedule if I had to, and it will probably even be a good experience for both my girls. The problem is that MY schedule for 4th grade will be put under pressure, and my personal schedule will be as well because I'll have to put in work time for the co-op (I already work p/t, we have a fairly heavy schooling load planned, and DD5 will have her own activity classes--dance and singing--for the first time next year).

 

I'm a HUGE introvert, but my girls are extroverts and really need the social stuff. Doing the co-op will be very hard on me, but I can't decide if the personal sacrifice is worth the benefits we'll get from participating.

 

WWYD? Would you suck it up and force co-op into the schedule? Would you accept your limitations and accept that it will leave you on the outside of your old group? Some other magical solution that I haven't thought of yet?

 

TIA!

Edited June 20, 2011 by melissel

[justasque]

I would do it (and have done it). If it doesn't work, you can always drop it or modify it. Casual friends are valuable.

[Starr]

If this is going to get more difficult every year I would quit now and start looking for something else for the kids.

[Night Elf]

Hmm, that's a difficult one. For me, putting my youngest dd in some homeschool classes was a no-brainer. She was absolutely miserable without friends. My problem wasn't the schedule, it was the cost. And it was classes that we really didn't need, but did purely for social reasons. It worked out well because she did get several good friends.

 

Personally, I don't handle stress very well. If this is going to put a strain on you, it might be a bad idea. Is there anyway you can maintain some type of group dynamic that continues whatever you have now while the others choose to participate in the co-op?

[LaxMom]

I forced a Friday co-op for probably four of the six years we were involved, including a few that I was on the board. It was a good experience for the kids. They had some neat classes, we all met some wonderful (and less wonderful) people. It was great when we were first starting out, with a K-er and two toddlers.

 

That said... We made the decision, after the first session last fall, to not return. I am also an introvert; it was physically and mentally exhausting to spend the morning with that many people. And really, with all we wanted to accomplish, losing an entire day each week, plus the energy it took for me to plan and prepare classes, was just not working.

 

Our friends are still friends. We don't see them once a week, but we get tougether when it works in our schedules and I get to enjoy their company rather than trying to shove snippets of conversation in.

 

Co-ops and people are all different, of course, but that was my experience.

[snickelfritz]

Me?......

 

Yes.

 

We looked and looked into Classical Conversations. Didn't do it, because I don't really emphasize that stuff and didn't want to lose a day of fun field trips for subjects that we weren't focusing on, anyway. Fast forward.....we don't fit in with the local relaxed group. I didn't like the night mom meetings for the other group. dd's "best" friend is one that she sees 2-3 times during the school year, because she is in school.

 

Result.........Older dd is going to private school next year. There are several reasons and I'm fine with it and I figured to put her in eventually, BUT....I think we could have held out a few more years if we had done the Classical Conversations. Things were past the point where dh was comfortable with the isolation. He trusted me for the academics, he worried about her, socially. Younger dd WILL be doing CC next year. Academically, I don't really care if she memorizes the dates and such. I'm focusing on teaching her to read next year. But, the academics won't hurt her and it gives us both social interaction. I don't know if we will homeschool after next year, but I know we wouldn't if I don't do something with other people.

 

Now.......I know our mindset is different. We are somewhat traditional, in that we want our dd's to have friends. We do sports. We do activities. We aren't the "draw in and minimize the peer friendships" mindset. That's fine for those who are, but we (and ESPECIALLY dh) are not. The lack of friendships for her and the isolation for me are big (not solo, but BIG) factors in transitioning to private school.

Edited June 20, 2011 by snickelfritz

[Keniki]

No, I don't. I have the option (and my dc are junior high/high school age) and we don't use it. Besides cutting too much into my schedule, it also requires to a point that I use the materials they choose to use which may or may not be what I've already chosen.

 

We choose church activities and 4-H for our social outlets.

[Dobela]

...that not doing it would pretty much eliminate your homeschool social circle (for both you and the kids)?

For the most part now my homeschool social circle is online. While I miss the local families, it hasn't been bad either. Our co-ops have pretty much gone kerplunk locally and I don't want to commit to Classical Conversations or drive long distances to another town.

Our HSing friends are mainly very relaxed schoolers or unschoolers. We are not, and DD8 is one of the older kids in the extended circle, so most of the moms haven't yet really had to decide too much about formal schooling. Our friends are starting up a Friday co-op, and it really doesn't work for our schedule very well. However, I can already see that if we aren't involved, we'll end up on the outside of the group, either intentionally or accidentally *sigh*

 

This is basically our HSing community--we've known each other for years and have a lot in common in terms of lifestyle and interests, but our schooling philosophies are quite different. I could shoehorn co-op into the schedule if I had to, and it will probably even be a good experience for both my girls. The problem is that MY schedule for 4th grade will be put under pressure, and my personal schedule will be as well because I'll have to put in work time for the co-op (I already work p/t, we have a fairly heavy schooling load planned, and DD5 will have her own activity classes--dance and singing--for the first time next year). Those are all valid reasons. really. Since we have stopped co-ops my extroverted kids find social activities at church, private lessons or classes, sports, neighbors, and so on. Their social life hasn't slowed down. Mine has though, except online.

 

I'm a HUGE introvert, but my girls are extroverts and really need the social stuff. Doing the co-op will be very hard on me, but I can't decide if the personal sacrifice is worth the benefits we'll get from participating. Do you have to go every Friday? If so, then I don't think I would want to do it. My favorite co-op was the one that planned a long variety of meetings from classes to field trips and we made the decision for each one if our family wanted to participate. The last year we opted out of classes but did make time for the field trips.

 

WWYD? Would you suck it up and force co-op into the schedule? Would you accept your limitations and accept that it will leave you on the outside of your old group? Some other magical solution that I haven't thought of yet?

 

TIA!

;)

[Mimm]

Yes. I didn't do co-op this year (our first year homeschooling) and my kids are not very well connected with the homeschooling community in this area. They do Tae Kwon Do two nights a week and the class has several other homeschooled kids but my husband takes them to that so I'm not really connecting with the moms there. They did a homeschool swim class for 12 weeks in the spring and the moms all sit together on the sidelines and watch for an hour and a half. Good time to talk and get to know one another right? But it just hasn't worked out that way. I'm very introverted as well and even though I feel awkward, I've tried to start up conversations with the women around me but I haven't really made friends with anyone. I feel bad about this and we are doing co-op next year. It will pretty much make any schoolwork difficult to accomplish on Thursday and I've got more academics (to be done at home) scheduled for the year and in some ways I'm quite worried that I'm setting us up for failure. I'm going to have to be relaxed and not freak out if (when) I have to let things slide. We'll see how it goes. But my kids need to be around people more.

[Mom0012]

I think that is a hard decision to make, but if I felt my kids were going to be isolated socially, I'd probably do it. What type of a coop is it going to be? Is it going to be more of an enrichment type of thing or an academic coop?

 

If it's enrichment and there is no homework, then that might not be so bad. I absolutely hate participating in academic coops because I already have an educational plan for my kids that I am happy with and I don't like piling on additional work each day because of a coop. Also, I didn't find the academic coop we participated in eons ago to meet our social needs anyway.

 

Lisa

[2_girls_mommy]

Yes, I would do it. We do actually :) My kids love it. Our education is at home. They have weekly activities, but co-op is their friends, their time. They do learn in a fun way there, and we just do a longer year to make sure we accomplish what I want to. I don't need a 12 week summer vaca anyway.

[melissel]

Thanks for the perspective, everyone. I suspect I'll end up doing it because I know the girls will want to, but my poor, already overwhelmed, introverted brain just throws a little temper tantrum every time I think about it. It's an enrichment-type co-op, which actually makes it harder for me because I don't even feel like I can let something school-y slide because they're learning about it there!

 

The whole thing is just in the planning stages, but I can already see that the email loop is swinging toward the people in the co-op, and that bums me out. There have been several things we've missed out on for that reason :( But there's not much of a community in this area, and there's even less for secular HSers, so my options are limited.

 

Dobela, I got all excited because after your post, I realized I didn't know whether it was every Friday or not! I was hoping it was alternating Fridays, but no, it is indeed every Friday. And yeah, I think I'd have to do every Friday. I'm very much hoping that they can give me an administrative job to do!