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13 year old watching a 10 and almost 7 year old for a week? With cousin coming over?


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Seriously, I just found out that my daughter has been asked by her bio-dad to watch her brother and sister for an entire week out of her almost 2 week vacation out to MI. I haven't ever even left her a whole day of babysitting her with her almost 8 year old brother.

 

On top of that, her cousin, who both her bio-dad and she..say is crazy..., is coming over "several" days.

 

His daughter, his time, I suppose is one way to look at this.

 

I am pretty pissed that she's been asked to babysit for the week during the day. (And with a wild cousin...)

 

Crazy?

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How many hours each day? Has her dad given any plan for when something comes up? I would tell my dd to call her dad at work every single time her cousin started acting up and tell him she doesn't know what to do. What will they do all day? I know some parents hate kids watching tv and playing video games but if those things keep these children busy so they aren't wreaking havoc in the house or running outside, I would say all the tv and games they want!

 

FWIW, I was a paid babysitter at age 13. Most of my jobs were at night while parents were gone out. I remember it could be anywhere from 2 to 4 hours.

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Are you asking what people think about the ages? Because that wouldn't bother me…our dd14 has been babysitting since she was 11 and wouldn't have any trouble minding a 10 and 7 year old. (Most 10s that I know wouldn't really need much in the way of minding anyhow)

 

How does your daughter feel about it?

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Absolutely crazy. I only let my 13yo watch my 8yo & 7yo for 45minutes at a time at this point. I would never leave them alone overnight, let alone for a week. Do you have any say in this? Personally, I would make an issue of it and not let dd go to her dad if he didn't agree to cancel that plan. I hope you can talk some sense into him.

 

eta: I think I misunderstood your post. Is she just supposed to babysit during her dad's work hours? I wouldn't be happy about it, but I wouldn't cancel the trip because of it.

Edited by MeganP
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Yup... asking about the ages :) Actually, she'll be almost 13. (13 about 1.5 months after) I know they're gonna do videos and wii type stuff all day :) The cousin is just... well... an only child who is beyond spoiled and she is about a year older. She's more advanced, and has had many boyfriends. (At 14!) Not sure how much of a "boyfriend" they are, but more advanced than my 12 almost 13 yr old.

I did babysit at 13, but looking back, I did some stupid things. Kids at 13 just don't have it all together. I think it's a stupid plan, besides being totally unwise.

I also think that to have your 13 yr old babysit on her "mandated" parenting time is stupid. I did ask her how she felt; she likes the "no dad" during the day to "give her a break" from him. Urgh!

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How many hours a day will she be responsible and who can she call that will be able to respond if she needs to call someone for help? What kind of 'crazy' is the crazy child and what is the plan if the crazy one escalates and your daughter needs some adult intervention? Does your daughter want to do this? At age 13, I would think that if she refused to go on visitation to her bio-dad under these conditions a judge would certainly take her wishes into account. Do you want her to go? If you don't want her to go and she doesn't want to go, I would see a lawyer.

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??? Your 13 year old is watching them for the "whole week" ... meaning alone all day every day for a week? Is that even legal?

 

I'd hate to live somewhere that it was "illegal" for a 13 year old to babysit - goodness, we're not talking about a little kid here. I was (as was our own dd) babysitting by 11!

 

11-14 is the "babysitting age" as I know it… 14/15+ are the ones who can get summer jobs at McDonalds and stuff.

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I was a paid babysitter at a younger age than your dd; by the time I was 13 I was a paid *overnight* sitter for a few families. I believe I was 13 the summer that I babysat full-time for our upstairs neighbors (those children were 2 and 3 years old). Of course, you are in a better position to judge your child's maturity and readiness to take on such a task. If she is uncomfortable with the idea then you should talk to her dad about it.

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I would totally be comfortable with a 13yo babysitting for several hours during the day with the parents reachable by phone. I would not be comfortable with a 13yo being the primary caregiver all day every day, nor with a 13yo being left in charge for a week all day and all night while the parents were out of town. And I would question the legality of that last one too.

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I'd hate to live somewhere that it was "illegal" for a 13 year old to babysit - goodness, we're not talking about a little kid here. I was (as was our own dd) babysitting by 11!

 

11-14 is the "babysitting age" as I know it… 14/15+ are the ones who can get summer jobs at McDonalds and stuff.

 

Oops, my misunderstanding. I thought the OP's daughter was being left alone all day and night for a week. Basically, I was envisioning the parents taking a vacation and leaving the 13yo in charge of their siblings for a week. Sorry!

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Yup... asking about the ages :) Actually, she'll be almost 13. (13 about 1.5 months after) I know they're gonna do videos and wii type stuff all day :) The cousin is just... well... an only child who is beyond spoiled and she is about a year older. She's more advanced, and has had many boyfriends. (At 14!) Not sure how much of a "boyfriend" they are, but more advanced than my 12 almost 13 yr old.

I did babysit at 13, but looking back, I did some stupid things. Kids at 13 just don't have it all together. I think it's a stupid plan, besides being totally unwise.

I also think that to have your 13 yr old babysit on her "mandated" parenting time is stupid. I did ask her how she felt; she likes the "no dad" during the day to "give her a break" from him. Urgh!

 

I'd put the kibosh on the cousin.

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I'm wondering at what age the posters calling this "crazy" think is an appropriate age for babysitting. Is it just because it would be all day?

 

I babysat at that age in the evenings and watched a 7YO and 4YO all day for pay during the summer at 14 or so.

 

ETA: Now I see why. I didn't have the impression from the OP that it would be all day and night without any adults present for a week, but if that were the case the reaction would be understandable.

Edited by WordGirl
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I'm wondering at what age the posters calling this "crazy" think is an appropriate age for babysitting. :confused: Is it just because it would be all day?

 

I babysat at that age in the evenings and watched a 7YO and 4YO all day for pay during the summer at 14 or so.

 

Maybe at 14? She will turn 13 in August. So next year, she would be almost 14 when she goes out. And yes, I'm just as concerned with her being with a wild cousin, unsupervised, as doing childcare. Probably more concerned about that part. Hoping that as they get older, being home doesn't include getting in alcohol and boys :( Her bio dad and I don't have even close to the same standards. :(

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Maybe at 14? She will turn 13 in August. So next year, she would be almost 14 when she goes out. And yes, I'm just as concerned with her being with a wild cousin, unsupervised, as doing childcare. Probably more concerned about that part. Hoping that as they get older, being home doesn't include getting in alcohol and boys :( We don't have even close to the same standards. :(

 

The cousin would definitely be a concern. I wouldn't want one of my nieces to babysit for my girls for even an hour—and she's 17!

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Oops, my misunderstanding. I thought the OP's daughter was being left alone all day and night for a week. Basically, I was envisioning the parents taking a vacation and leaving the 13yo in charge of their siblings for a week. Sorry!

 

Ahhh. Yeah that would be a very different situation - I took the original post to mean babysitting during the day, like many teens do in the summer. :) (or at least they do in my experience)

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