fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 If another person's child is in your home and the parent is not in the room with them, nor are they within earshot, what do you think is your responsibility toward that kid? (parent is in the house, but not nearby) What if they are misbehaving? Being ugly to your children? Being disrespectful to things in your home? Just flat out disobeying the rules of your house? How do you handle these situations? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I have no problem telling them nicely that they need to stop, but I wouldn't discipline someone else's child. If they didn't stop when I asked them to, I'd get the parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I have no problem telling them nicely that they need to stop, but I wouldn't discipline someone else's child. If they didn't stop when I asked them to, I'd get the parent. what happens if they repeatedly ignore you and parent is ineffective? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 what happens if they repeatedly ignore you and parent is ineffective? Then you don't invite them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Then you don't invite them back. :iagree: If they won't obey the rules of our house or if they mistreat others, then they don't get invited back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 How do you nicely say... "you kid is a brat and since you're not doing anything about it, get out!!!" :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 If another person's child is in your home and the parent is not in the room with them, nor are they within earshot, what do you think is your responsibility toward that kid? (parent is in the house, but not nearby) What if they are misbehaving? Being ugly to your children? Being disrespectful to things in your home? Just flat out disobeying the rules of your house? How do you handle these situations? Judy, please put the cat down, she doesn't like to be handled. Johnny, that was unkind. Johnny, everyone needs to have some Legos to play with. Judy, please don't pick up the things on the table. They are fragile and will break easily. Johnny, don't run in the house. The please in the above is for politeness, not because there is a choice. No one has a right to be abusing pets, people or household items in my home. If it's a one time childishness thing, then I might not mention it to the parent. If the child insists on having their way, then I would probably put the cat in another room, put away the toy, send my kids somewhere else for their protection and tell the other parent about what happened. Something like: I put Carrie the cat into my room so she could have some quite time. Judy was being rougher with her than she likes and I didn't want Judy to get scratched. Can you remind her that Carrie only likes gentle petting and not to be chased after? I think this gets the point across (child was being too rough) while still leaving room for saving face (I don't want the child to get hurt because she doesn't understand the cat's dislikes). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Well, I guess I'd try to make some kind of excuse to get them out the door. "It was great having you, but we really need to get some schoolwork done/get the house cleaned up before dh comes home/get some errands done." Sounds like you're having a really bad day. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) never mind. second thoughts. Edited May 18, 2011 by fairfarmhand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 How do you nicely say... "you kid is a brat and since you're not doing anything about it, get out!!!" :glare: Excuse yourself to the bathroom, call your dh, and have him call you back in five minutes with a feigned emergency, making sure guest hears the phone call. Then leave and go get ice cream or something. I haven't done that yet, but I've thought of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 How do you nicely say... "you kid is a brat and since you're not doing anything about it, get out!!!" :glare: If necessary, I will take the blame on my kids or on myself. If that is what it takes. The same way that I will sometimes send my kids to their room or even my room for a time out if things are getting out of hand. "I guess staying up late last night is catching up with us. Looks like it would be best if we cut the visit short so we can have some naps and quiet time today. Why don't I grab your shoes and coat while you make sure you have any toys Judy brought with her. I'll make sure my kids pick up before their quiet time." My friend who's moving near us is probably now reconsidering her choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 If necessary, I will take the blame on my kids or on myself. If that is what it takes. The same way that I will sometimes send my kids to their room or even my room for a time out if things are getting out of hand. "I guess staying up late last night is catching up with us. Looks like it would be best if we cut the visit short so we can have some naps and quiet time today. Why don't I grab your shoes and coat while you make sure you have any toys Judy brought with her. I'll make sure my kids pick up before their quiet time." My friend who's moving near us is probably now reconsidering her choice. this is a very good idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) I only have one friend with kids, but we've talked about it and she is just fine with me verbally disciplining her kids and giving the almost 5yo a time-out if needed. This stands whether I am babysitting or she is still in the house. I have no problem with her setting boundaries and disciplining my children if she is babysitting or if I'm in the other room. I think you should talk with the mom and decide what she expects and what authority she wants you to have, and then have her tell the kids in front of you how they are suppose to mind you. Edited May 18, 2011 by theYoungerMrsWarde Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 this is a very good idea Which? Reconsidering moving near me???:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I just say leave. I don't care if that is rude or hurtful or whatever. I have and will tell a parent to take their kid and get out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I just say leave. I don't care if that is rude or hurtful or whatever. I have and will tell a parent to take their kid and get out. Waayyy OT, but this reminded me of this Jeff Dunham bit. (Bad language, but funny! 1:44: "Welcome to Walmart. Get your sh*t and get out. Have a nice day!") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 would it be offensive to take child by the hand and bring them to the parent saying "Susie is having trouble behaving. I think it would be best for her to stay with you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 would it be offensive to take child by the hand and bring them to the parent saying "Susie is having trouble behaving. I think it would be best for her to stay with you." Older than 10, yes. Younger than 10, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I'm a little un-politically correct. I have no problem speaking up and correcting a friend's child. Especially in my home (or co-op or church). I also have no problem with my friends speaking up and correcting my children. I would rather have bad behavior stopped than my child behaving like a brat. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 How do you nicely say... "you kid is a brat and since you're not doing anything about it, get out!!!" :glare: "I'm sorry to cut this short, but it seems like little Johnny isn't at his best right now. Let's try this again some other time." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy to monkeys Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 How do you nicely say... "you kid is a brat and since you're not doing anything about it, get out!!!" :glare: This drives me CRAZY. . .especially when the mom is RIGHT there. I have had this happen recently to my 8 year with other kids coming over. He and my daughter were playing with toddler toys in the corner. When I said, "Why don't you play playmobils and legos with ________" , he said, "they won't let me have any pieces". . . I get indignant about stuff like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 would it be offensive to take child by the hand and bring them to the parent saying "Susie is having trouble behaving. I think it would be best for her to stay with you." Nope not at all. And I agree with the pp that said under 10 no problem. Over 10ish is stickier, but I also have a rule of if you're going to act like a 4yo, you're going to get treated like a 4yo. I don't have a problem saying "Please don't do that/touch that/ slam the door/run through the house/whatever." Both on my own and in front of their mom. I also don't have a problem repeating it "I've already asked you once not to do that" in front of mom. If mom is still completely ignoring/oblivious, I don't have an issue telling her "I need you to make Timmy stop doing ... I've already asked him twice and he doesn't seem to be hearing me." If all that doesn't work, then it would be "Wow Look at the time!" Unless I'm seriously annoyed, don't care if the mom gets annoyed, I'd say "Okay, I've already asked you twice to stop. I think it's time we called it a day and try this again on another day when everyone is doing better at listening." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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