zusjames Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Yes, "underachiever" is misspelled. Just seemed appropriate. :lol: There are thousands of amazing moms (and dads) on here teaching their kids and doing an AMAZING job! I struggle getting on WTM because it seems like I just don't do enough. How does a mom know she's really teaching enough and pushing her kids hard enough? Is it normal to be concerned that my efforts are second rate? Will I ever reach a point I can :party: because I'm doing everything with excellence? I'd love to hear from other mothers with kids out of school and in a decent college/university. :bigear: I totally see why parents go the public or private school route. If we had the $$,$$$ and could justify it I would enroll my kids in private school in a heartbeat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I always feel like an underachiever until I see actual examples of average PS kid school work. Then I feel better. :) Maybe you need to see some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 I always feel like an underachiever until I see actual examples of average PS kid school work. Then I feel better. :) Maybe you need to see some. True. So true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Yes. Especially when I read this board. That's why I hang out mostly on the special needs board and rarely visit this one. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasmommy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 :grouphug: I feel like this from time to time, I call it my crisis of confidence. When I start to feel this way I go back through some of their work and see how far they've come. Then I take a deep breath and try to remember that I am not perfect but that they have learned more this school year than the previous 2 they spent in PS. I am sure your are doing your best. I imagine that even the most rigorous hsing parents feel this way occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 :grouphug: Don't compare yourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Feel like a failure? All.the.time though somehow just plugging away day after day has gotten my kids where they want to be. We are pretty average and had some spectacular failures over the years but still managed to produce the print journalism student of the year at the university, a cosmetologist who graduated with a 101% score and the best score ever at the school and a son who is getting A's in his first year of college. Comparisons are dangerous and depressing. There is always someone better or worse. Just do your very best day after day and it all works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelle l Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Yep. I looked through the Veritas Press catalogue tonight and kind of wanted to throw. There is no way I can get it ALL in with my kids, especially since we only came to homeschooling last year. I really struggle with balancing my desire to give them a high quality education with everyday life and their need to be kids. It's just hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuovonne Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 How does a mom know she's really teaching enough and pushing her kids hard enough? Is it normal to be concerned that my efforts are second rate? Will I ever reach a point I can :party: because I'm doing everything with excellence? I'd love to hear from other mothers with kids out of school and in a decent college/university. :bigear: My kids are still young, so I don't have the experience to back it up, but here are my thoughts. If you're focused on "pushing kids hard enough" either you or they will get burned out. You won't ever reach a point where you can completely sit back and coast because you do everything with excellence. You might find times when things flow smoothly, but students grow and their needs change so there are always new challenges on the horizon. On the other hand, you don't have to constantly push the kids or reach some ideal point in order to homeschool successfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robsiew Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 (edited) When I start to go down this road I remind myself that as my child's parent I am the best teacher. I also remind myself that God has called me to this purpose at this time. If I sense that change, then I will deal with it. But, for now, this is what I am supposed to be doing. I cannot base my self-worth on what others think (most people in my life don't agree with our decision to homeschool) or on how my children do/don't perform or on what I am or am not doing compared to others. I just do what I'm called to do today and that's enough! I'm not sure if you have a faith or not, but honestly, that's what keeps me grounded and not comparing myself to others. This is what God has called "me" to. Doesn't matter if others' calling is different. ;) As far as "pushing" the kids... I really don't. We just go with what needs to be learned next. If they are ready, we move on. If not, we stop and breathe and review. I don't think we need to "push" to educate our children. The great thing I've learned through classical education is that you don't need to push! Slow down, get the basics and get them good. Then, things will come later on much easier and there will be no need to push! Edited May 18, 2011 by robsiew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 As far as "pushing" the kids... I really don't. We just go with what needs to be learned next. If they are ready, we move on. If not, we stop and breathe and review. I don't think we need to "push" to educate our children. The great thing I've learned through classical education is that you don't need to push! Slow down, get the basics and get them good. Then, things will come later on much easier and there will be no need to push! This is good stuff! Thank you! (All of it is good. Not just this quoted portion.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristin Crow Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Earlier today I was talking to an older wiser mom about this very same thing! She has a dd in college and another graduating high school this year, plus 2 others. (She has FABULOUS children btw.) She was saying that she felt like a failure for not doing enough writing this year with her younger ds. I looked at her and asked...."so, does it ever go away?"..... Nope! She told me that no matter how well things are she always second guesses herself. It totally shocked me! This lady is a wonderful mother and teacher, with almost 20 years of homeschooling experience. She always appears so confident. All that to say, I think what you feel is normal. Just keep in mind why you homeschool and what your goals for homeschooling are. Also, keep your perspective... a large percentage of American high school graduates can barely read. The fact that you care enough about your children's education to devote yourself to it tells me that you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work! ~Kristin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yep. I looked through the Veritas Press catalogue tonight and kind of wanted to throw. There is no way I can get it ALL in with my kids, especially since we only came to homeschooling last year. I really struggle with balancing my desire to give them a high quality education with everyday life and their need to be kids. It's just hard. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 Also, keep your perspective... a large percentage of American high school graduates can barely read. The fact that you care enough about your children's education to devote yourself to it tells me that you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work!~Kristin :iagree: If I constantly think about the ps lackluster eduction then our homeschool would implode. My kids would like to see something explode though! :lol: It's good to hear what you said about the older, wiser woman. Needing perspective and that's perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yep. I looked through the Veritas Press catalogue tonight and kind of wanted to throw. There is no way I can get it ALL in with my kids, especially since we only came to homeschooling last year. :iagree: There's so much I WANT to do, but we all have our limits! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 My school-aged kids are excelling academically, yet I feel like I'm failing all four of them in some way or another. Parenting and homeschooling is hard no matter where your kids fall academically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twins05 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 When I start to go down this road I remind myself that as my child's parent I am the best teacher. I also remind myself that God has called me to this purpose at this time. If I sense that change, then I will deal with it. But, for now, this is what I am supposed to be doing. I cannot base my self-worth on what others think (most people in my life don't agree with our decision to homeschool) or on how my children do/don't perform or on what I am or am not doing compared to others. I just do what I'm called to do today and that's enough! I'm not sure if you have a faith or not, but honestly, that's what keeps me grounded and not comparing myself to others. This is what God has called "me" to. Doesn't matter if others' calling is different. ;) As far as "pushing" the kids... I really don't. We just go with what needs to be learned next. If they are ready, we move on. If not, we stop and breathe and review. I don't think we need to "push" to educate our children. The great thing I've learned through classical education is that you don't need to push! Slow down, get the basics and get them good. Then, things will come later on much easier and there will be no need to push! :iagree: Two more thoughts meant to encourage: (1) I think that giving kids more time to be kids is part of an excellent education! and (2) Just by giving your kids a 1:3 teacher-student ratio, you're giving them an excellent education! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yep. I looked through the Veritas Press catalogue tonight and kind of wanted to throw. There is no way I can get it ALL in with my kids, especially since we only came to homeschooling last year. I really struggle with balancing my desire to give them a high quality education with everyday life and their need to be kids. It's just hard. I'm not replying to the OP because I don't have the experience, but I just have to say that I was SO discouraged when looking through this catalog yesterday! I remember two years ago that I thought VP's high school looked like the epitome of homeschooling to me. Only a year into this and I have no idea how we would ever achieve all that they have set out! :grouphug:to the OP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Yep...every day I battle just to stay awake. (sigh). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtomseth Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I often feel like an underachiever too. I work full-time (I am a full-time telecommuter, which is why I am able to school my son at home now) so we have little time for anything other than the Three R's. :-) I dream of winning the lottery so that I can devote ALL of my time to schooling him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 When I start to go down this road I remind myself that as my child's parent I am the best teacher. I also remind myself that God has called me to this purpose at this time. If I sense that change, then I will deal with it. But, for now, this is what I am supposed to be doing. I cannot base my self-worth on what others think (most people in my life don't agree with our decision to homeschool) or on how my children do/don't perform or on what I am or am not doing compared to others. I just do what I'm called to do today and that's enough! I'm not sure if you have a faith or not, but honestly, that's what keeps me grounded and not comparing myself to others. This is what God has called "me" to. Doesn't matter if others' calling is different. ;) As far as "pushing" the kids... I really don't. We just go with what needs to be learned next. If they are ready, we move on. If not, we stop and breathe and review. I don't think we need to "push" to educate our children. The great thing I've learned through classical education is that you don't need to push! Slow down, get the basics and get them good. Then, things will come later on much easier and there will be no need to push! Wow...this is so well said. I need to print this out and tape it to my fridge for the next time I have any doubts! Thanks so much for posting this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehogs4 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I do feel that way sometimes, but not by comparison to others...I feel sometimes I have aimed way too high for my own ability to actually school the kids. When I feel that way, I take inventory, and I'm almost always surprised at how much we've done or how much we've accomplished. I write down all that we've done and look at it as objectively as possible. It's pretty amazing, really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VBoulden Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I only ever feel like an underachiever when I read the blog http://www.SatoriSmiles.com :lol: I am totally kidding. I mean that as a compliment to Satori's mom. :D It's amazing what the two of them can manage in a day. But, I get what you are saying. I feel that way sometimes, too. Just keep pushing forward/ plowing through. Chances are someone out there thinks what YOU manage to accomplish is pretty amazing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VBoulden Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I do feel that way sometimes, but not by comparison to others...I feel sometimes I have aimed way too high for my own ability to actually school the kids. When I feel that way, I take inventory, and I'm almost always surprised at how much we've done or how much we've accomplished. I write down all that we've done and look at it as objectively as possible. It's pretty amazing, really. This is right on!!! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrogMom5 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Most of us feel this way on a regular basis. We are wrapping up my 9th yr. of homeschooling this yr. My oldest is doing very well w/ a fairly rigorous program of work. I am more confident in choosing curriculum and teaching for my younger dc. Yet, I regularly beat myself up feeling like I am short-changing someone somewhere. It just seems to come w/the territory. My advice is just to keep plugging away and remind yourself how much your children have progressed. There is light at the end of the tunnel. One day you will be amazed at how well your children turn out, academically and otherwise. At that moment, try to give yourself some credit for a job well done. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I feel this way every day. I never think I do as well as the moms on this board. But... I have been doing this for 21 years. My first graduated 7 years ago and went to college for Electrical Engineering on full scholarship. He graduated from college with a 3.9 GPA. My second graduated 4 years ago and has 2 more classes before she gets her degree in Computer Informational Systems (IT). Her college GPA is 4.0. My third graduated this past Saturday. We will see how she does in college. Even with all this I still feel I am not and have not done enough for my children. I told someone once if I ever feel like I'm doing a great job, that is when I won't be because I will stop evaluating to see how I can improve. Hope this helps. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hankins3 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Oh I have felt this way at different moments so many times over the years. Then, I take a deep breath and remind myself why I started hs in the first place, and that I am experiencing so much with my son that I would never have had the chance to otherwise... and him with me. That is education in itself. He is learning what he needs to learn, at a pace that we set, in a time when we can help him the most. Do not beat yourself up... I think that we all go through this sometimes! It is because we love them so much and want the best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janainaz Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Earlier today I was talking to an older wiser mom about this very same thing! She has a dd in college and another graduating high school this year, plus 2 others. (She has FABULOUS children btw.) She was saying that she felt like a failure for not doing enough writing this year with her younger ds. I looked at her and asked...."so, does it ever go away?"..... Nope! She told me that no matter how well things are she always second guesses herself. It totally shocked me! This lady is a wonderful mother and teacher, with almost 20 years of homeschooling experience. She always appears so confident. All that to say, I think what you feel is normal. Just keep in mind why you homeschool and what your goals for homeschooling are. Also, keep your perspective... a large percentage of American high school graduates can barely read. The fact that you care enough about your children's education to devote yourself to it tells me that you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work! ~Kristin :001_smile: good reminder - good post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 There are many paths to the same goal. I've been doing this since 1995 and I still have twinges when I see some of the neato things other people are doing with their kids, especially the little ones. I begin to think I should be doing *this* differently and *that* better. Then I remember I homeschooled my oldest the same way, and guess what? She will graduate next year with her bachelor's and master's degrees. Um, doh! And I'm still wondering if I'm doing the right thing. Some homeschooled kids will remember cool projects and science experiments. Mine will remember mostly reading a lot and having lots and lots of free time. We all end up in roughly the same place. There is an infinite body of knowledge, so you must pick and choose. We can't all do everything, but sometimes you can fool yourself into thinking other people do everything well all of the time. Not possible. Everyone has to choose what to include and what to leave out. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowfall Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I feel that way a lot. I don't have any great advice. I just figure that, as long as I'm not complacent, I can do better than most schools - public or private. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I always feel like an underachiever until I see actual examples of average PS kid school work. Then I feel better. :) Maybe you need to see some.I want to clarify. I am not putting down public school educated kids. It is just that sometimes I don't know what a typical (fill in the blank) grader is capable of and I tend to aim way to high and make us both frustrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I dream of winning the lottery so that I can devote ALL of my time to schooling him. I dream the same thing, but I've never played it...... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zusjames Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I feel this way every day. I never think I do as well as the moms on this board. But... I have been doing this for 21 years. My first graduated 7 years ago and went to college for Electrical Engineering on full scholarship. He graduated from college with a 3.9 GPA. My second graduated 4 years ago and has 2 more classes before she gets her degree in Computer Informational Systems (IT). Her college GPA is 4.0. My third graduated this past Saturday. We will see how she does in college. Even with all this I still feel I am not and have not done enough for my children. I told someone once if I ever feel like I'm doing a great job, that is when I won't be because I will stop evaluating to see how I can improve. Hope this helps. Linda BLESS YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.