Dance moms, I need your opinion!

[mom2scouts]

After having all boys, I now have a 4 year old daughter. She is full of energy, sleeps little and loves to go and do things. When she was 18 months old, I took her to a mommy and me gymnastics class. She progressed quickly and by 2.5 she was very serious about doing the skills. She would get frustrated by other children who would run off or distract the teachers with normal toddler antics when she was ready to do a skill, so they moved her to an advanced class as soon as she turned 3. She loves gymnastics and started asking if she could be a dancer too. She is in a private preschool three mornings a week and does some work at home with us. She'll ask what activities she has each day and if I tell her it's preschool and gymnastics and going to a brother's activity, she'll say "Is that all?":glare: All this is just to give you background on her personality.

 

This past fall, I put her in a preschool dance class at a local studio. I signed up with some reservation because I knew it was a very large studio and was not known to be a low stress "it's all about fun" dance studio. Well, my daughter loves it. The studio owner is her main teacher and does a great job. She was a professional dancer and does everything very professionally. She expects them to do well, gives very personal attention and makes it as fun as possible. The recital is coming up and it's a VERY big deal with expensive costumes, people waiting hours for tickets, difficult choreography, requirements for hair, tights and shoes and extra rehearsals. My daughter is loving it all and can't wait until her recital.

 

Last month my daughter came home with a letter telling her she was selected for the next years competitive dance team. Apparently they pick the younger children from classes and dancers over 7 have to audition. She'll be 5 when the next competition season starts. I think my daughter would like it and it sounds like an adventure to me, but I'm worried about whether the cost and time commitment might be too much. Will my little girl burn out on dance too early? Will I become a stressed out dance mom? I'm totally new to dance and I'm having to learn the ropes quickly. Dance moms, what do you think? Is this a great opportunity that we'll probably enjoy or something too stressful for this age?

[imeverywoman]

but I'm worried about whether the cost and time commitment might be too much. Will my little girl burn out on dance too early? Will I become a stressed out dance mom? I'm totally new to dance and I'm having to learn the ropes quickly. Dance moms, what do you think? Is this a great opportunity that we'll probably enjoy or something too stressful for this age?

 

 

Give it a try. If you are not interested, you can simply take lessons and forget the dance team/competition aspect of it. This is what we did, and my dd lives and breathes for the art. I control the schedule and how many classes we take.

 

Recital time is upon us and she is coming alive with the preparations necessary for the costumes, etc.

 

Just my .02 :)

[dancer67]

Last month my daughter came home with a letter telling her she was selected for the next years competitive dance team. Apparently they pick the younger children from classes and dancers over 7 have to audition. She'll be 5 when the next competition season starts. I think my daughter would like it and it sounds like an adventure to me, but I'm worried about whether the cost and time commitment might be too much. Will my little girl burn out on dance too early? Will I become a stressed out dance mom? I'm totally new to dance and I'm having to learn the ropes quickly. Dance moms, what do you think? Is this a great opportunity that we'll probably enjoy or something too stressful for this age?

 

 

I have been a dance mom for 15 years. My daughter competes. She started dance at the age of 3.

The cost can be expensive. Depends on which competition your studio chooses. Also, I have never done any where I have had to travel to stay overnight, UNLESS our group was picked to go to the finals. And that was only once.

The committment is mainly money and time. Honestly, I am not a big fan of competitions because it is the studio that gets the award. Unless your child does a solo.

It can be an all afternoon, or all day event into the late evening.

 

Like I said it all depends on which compeition your studio chooses. Some are laid back, and others are not.

 

I would not allow my daughter, who was younger then 10 yo, comepete in more then 2 a year.

 

Even at 18, she competes only 4 times a year. it is to much money and time for us.

 

It is fun to see the other studios and how they do their dances. Some of them are VERY competitive.

 

Use your judgement, and you know your daughter best. It does teach teamwork, and these girls do become very close.

 

And have fun if you decide to try it.

[Perry]

It really depends on the studio. Have you talked to any of the other competition moms there?

 

My youngest dd started competition when she was 9, older dd when she was 12. There are different levels at our studio, and we've done both. The lower level does 3 out-of-town competitions per year, and the higher level does 5, all within a 3 or 4 month period. At the higher level, we traveled farther, and it almost always lasted the entire weekend (including Friday evening). Since we were driving to Chicago or Minneapolis during the winter, it often turned into a 4 day weekend because of snow. We spent quite a bit of money on travel.

 

For the kids in competition, our studio requires 2 technique classes per week of ballet and jazz, and one class per week of tap, lyrical and modern. In addition, there are the actual competition classes, which are 2 hours during the week and ~5 hours each weekend during competition season. My girls were at the studio at least 5 days a week. The schedule is much easier for the younger kids, but it still can be tough.

 

At our studio, if you are in competition, you are required to attend all the competitions. You don't get to pick and choose. It really messes up the choreography if everyone isn't there.

 

My girls love it. It has been a great experience for them, and it's a great group of kids. I would not have wanted them to do it any younger than age 8 or 9 though. They are apart from you for long periods of time, in unfamiliar places with tons of people around. They are always with their teammates, but I just would have been very uncomfortable with it if they were younger.

 

Some studios are very, very competitive, and would expect a large commitment. Other studios are much more relaxed and flexible. From talking to other parents at competitions, our studio seems to be in the more competitive than average range, but a long way from the highly competitive studios.

 

You also might want to see if you can find some pictures of the costumes they've worn in the past. Our studio director insists on tasteful, age appropriate costumes. I've never had any concerns about the costumes my girls have worn. I have been appalled and disgusted at some of the costumes and dances I've seen from other studios. And I am far from prudish.

 

Good luck!

[mom2scouts]

Thanks for your replies. I just can't decide what to do and I need to make a decision by next month.

 

I'm not worried about the costumes. I saw the competition costumes for this year and the ones for the younger girls was adorable and very age appropriate. The older girls' costume was also cute and very tasteful. Costumes I can find from previous years look OK too.

 

This year our studio went to three competitions and they were all in our state. One of them was only an hour drive away and the other two are within several hours drive and on a Saturday, but could require hotels depending on whether the competition started very early or ended very late. There are also a few local community events where the girls dance.

 

Why are the girls apart from you a long time? Is it because they are backstage with teammates most of the time? My daughter separates from me quite well. I'd probably miss her more than she'd miss me!

[Pippen]

For what it's worth, my daughter has been dancing for 9 years and I'm really glad that the studio we opted for her doesn't do competitive dance. She's 13 now and this year in the studio three days a week--excellent quality instruction but still there's time for music and other activities.

[Mandamom]

My daughter is a gymnast that competes and that opportunity came about around the age of 5. I had many of the same concerns that you do. I laughed when i read your background because it sounded a lot like my daughter. And yes, I do miss her more than she misses me when we are separated (which isn't for very long).

 

Anyway, we are taking it year by year and just because we decide to do it one year doesn't mean that she'll be doing it from here on out. I love the parents that I have met, the opportunities that we have had and my daughter is still passionate about gymnastics, including practice.

 

I think the same thing applies for you and your daughter with this dance opportunity. If you want to give it a try, go ahead. It isn't a forever decision, just like homeschooling.

 

Talk to the other parents as to what to expect, though.

[Perry]

 

Why are the girls apart from you a long time? Is it because they are backstage with teammates most of the time? My daughter separates from me quite well. I'd probably miss her more than she'd miss me!

They're in dressing rooms, backstage, practicing somewhere...

They usually have to be ready and backstage about an hour before their dance. So, for example, if they have a dance at noon, 1:30, and 3:00, you might not see them for 4 hours. After each dance, they would go change for the next dance, then run through it together, then go check in for their upcoming dance. My girls didn't have cell phones when we started, and it was nerve wracking because it was impossible to find them and you knew they probably wouldn't be able to find you quickly if they needed something.

[Emerkaza]

It sounds like your daughter was born to dance. :001_smile: My dd is 13 and has been dancing since she was 3. Katie loves everything about dance, especially performing. She is in the dance studio 3-4 days per week, and is always involved in the productions. She doesn't do competitions, but if her school had a competitive dance team, I would definitely let her do it.

[LibraryLover]

My youngest dances ballet. There will be no competition school participation in this house. Dank and nada.

Edited May 16, 2011 by LibraryLover

[AngelBee]

All my kids dance, but your dd sounds like my dd4. :)

 

This is her third year competing. She LOVES it!

 

If I were you, give it a try. You can always pull back after the year if it is too much. Feel free to ask me more questions. I am a studio owner myself and have been in the dance world for 31 years. :D

[AngelBee]

My yougest dances ballet. There will be no competition school participation in this house. Dank and nada.

I have never heard the word "dank" before. :lol:

[AngelaNYC]

Last month my daughter came home with a letter telling her she was selected for the next years competitive dance team. Apparently they pick the younger children from classes and dancers over 7 have to audition. She'll be 5 when the next competition season starts. I think my daughter would like it and it sounds like an adventure to me, but I'm worried about whether the cost and time commitment might be too much. Will my little girl burn out on dance too early? Will I become a stressed out dance mom? I'm totally new to dance and I'm having to learn the ropes quickly. Dance moms, what do you think? Is this a great opportunity that we'll probably enjoy or something too stressful for this age?

 

My dd has been dancing since she was 3 and competing since she was 7. She's 14 now. We haven't burned out yet. I don't see that much burnout. Most of the kids really love the competition scene.

 

It's not so stressful for the parents. We do 4-5 regional comps a year with at least 1 involving a weekend hotel stay. I think of it as a mini family vacation. The kids have a blast being with their best friends all weekend. I love the excitement of everything, from rushing to get the next costume on in less than 3 minutes to watching the kids shine on stage in their performances to being so happy and proud with any placing they get.

 

Being on the comp team involves more weekly classes which means more tuition. There will be more days scheduled for rehearsals, too. There will be more costumes, shoes, and LOTS of accessories. Competition fees are usually around $30 for each group number and up to $90 for each solo. If you do a Nationals, plan on it being a whole week in July. Our national comps have always been out of state (Orlando, Boston, Hershey, VA Beach, etc). So it can get expensive. Competition season is mainly from February to May (not including Nationals).

 

I think both you and your daughter will enjoy it. It's certainly an adventure. It is a great opportunity. I say try it for next season. We've gotten nothing but joy out of it all.

[Wheres Toto]

My oldest has been doing competition dance since she was 4. She just turned 17 and is STILL doing competition dance. She loves it (obviously), it has done amazing things for her self confidence, helped teach her responsibility (having to be ready on time, stay with her group, listen to teachers, do her best, etc.). It was a major factor in helping her deal with my divorce from her dad - the studio had amazing teachers and was her sanctuary.

 

She has always spent a lot of time at dance - 3 to 4 days a week, sometimes more. She learned how to manage her time in order to get homework done, make sacrifices (not being able to do other sports, missing parties) to do what she wants. She started working at her studio last year and I've been amazed at how hard she is willing to work so she can dance, work, keep up with school work (including 3 honors and 1 ap course), be a cheerleader at her school (only in the fall thankfully) and still spend time with friends. I think these are skills that will be useful when she goes to college - taking responsibility for getting school work done and achieving her goals without someone else pushing her.

 

Things that were important to me:

age appropriate costumes and choreography

safety - suspended flooring, not pushing through injuries, no weight checks

 

It can definitely get expensive but as much as I hate the constant driving (we are 30 to 45 minutes away from her studio) and the time commitment for me at times, I think it has overall been a wonderful experience for her.

[Mejane]

14 years of classical ballet training here. No competitions. My dd would hate it, and so would I. YMMV, of course. :)

[catz]

Are you a homeschooling family? I find that some of things we wouldn't have considered if our kids were in full time school are doable now. I'd let her, but I'd keep it very low key on your end. If she changes her mind or wants to try something else next, so be it.

 

My daughter does not do competitive dance, but has taken the "busy" route at her studio doing a large production of Wizard of Oz and doing another large scale summer production on a big stage. (she also take circus classes and violin as if the dance wasn't enough). I was missing her the month her show was finishing up - it was so busy. One day she was at dance for 8 hours!? I stopped in with snacks and meals.

 

My kids LOVE their activities and they really round out their homeschool experience.

[sassenach]

Maybe you've already discovered this with your boys, but I'm finding that when my kids get around 9, they start really honing in on what they love to do. That's about the same time that the time and competition level starts kicking up, and by about 10 or 11 they really have to choose 1 sport/activity if they are going to get serious with it. With some kids, that may come a bit earlier, but it's not something that I would want to start at 5. It's just too much (for me). Too much time, too much money, too much running around, too focussed. If you think that she'll eventually be on the competitive track (in anything), then you've got maybe a few more years for her to relax and just have fun. I would not skip this stage. I would continue to allow her a variety of activities and experiences, and wait a few years before going to that next level. JMHO,

[YourFidgetyFriend]

Two weeks ago I would have enthusiastically said "Yes!" but after surviving my very first recital season, I'm near collapsing from exhaustion and she only took one class :lol:

 

But really, I would give it a shot because it sounds like your daughter has the talent and the motivation.

[violinmom]

My husband used to run a large national dance competition, and he is a tap teacher. It absolutely, 100% depends on the studio. I toured with him a few summers all over the country. There are nice studios that have great dancing, do lots of competitions, but they don't take it over the top. Many, many, do. Just watch it carefully. Can you go and watch them sometime at a local competition to get a feel for them? Go with your instincts. There lots of studios that have a fun performing calendar and don't do competitions.

 

My dh won't let our kids do competitions, except rarely. He thinks it gets in the way of their dance training.

[Beach Mom]

It absolutely, 100% depends on the studio. There are nice studios that have great dancing, do lots of competitions, but they don't take it over the top. Many, many, do.

 

:iagree:This has been our experience as well.