How do you teach your boys? Can we start an ideas thread?

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I saw this video on a friends facebook page ( this takes a minute to get the the actual video- but this is a 30 minute long TV show so make sure you have time to watch the whole thing), and I am curious as to what you do for your boys? I am looking for ideas because I have 2 boys, 1 SN boy. I want ideas to help my boys. Any suggestions? Recommendations from those that have BTDT?

[boscopup]

What exactly are you looking for? The main difference I can think of off the top of my head is that many boys are reluctant to write early on. So if you have the "My hand hurts!", it really does, and you need to adjust the amount of writing. SWB's writing philosophy is perfect for such boys (and girls). She even mentions this issue in her writing lecture.

 

Other than that... and maybe the fact that there are usually explosions involved in *everything* we do involving manipulatives or white boards... I can't think of differences off the top of my head. I also don't have any girls. I just have a friend with girls to compare to, and the writing and explosions are what stand out to me. :)

[Irishmommy]

One hyphenated word: mini-tramp. Seriously. I don't think I could make it through a school day without it. I also know a public school teacher who SWEARS by yoga balls instead of chairs. Oh, and fine motor skills hidden in other assignments besides writing. I've found also that my ADHD, SI boy does MUCH better with typing (using both hands instead of one in writing). Just some ideas for ya!

[JudoMom]

I don't expect my boys to sit still, or to even sit at all (they can stand if they want), however I do expect them to keep their heads above their feet during school.

 

School work is a lot more fun if you can incorporate Jedis or Orcs into the lessons.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

What exactly are you looking for?:)

 

 

The main jist of the video is that boys need constant (or near constant) movement/ interaction. It talks about how schools are made for girls and try to get boys to fit the mold. It talks about how boys learn differently.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

maybe the fact that there are usually explosions involved in *everything* we do involving manipulatives or white boards... :)

 

:lol:

 

however I do expect them to keep their heads above their feet during school.

 

 

:lol:

[boscopup]

The main jist of the video is that boys need constant (or near constant) movement/ interaction. It talks about how schools are made for girls and try to get boys to fit the mold. It talks about how boys learn differently.

 

Ah, ok. :) My oldest boy doesn't have to keep moving really. He's relatively calm and not really wiggly. My middle child... he is a bowl full of wiggles! We might have to go the mini-tramp route with him. ;)

 

I think the writing instruction in schools is geared more towards girls, who have the fine motor skills down pat earlier. They require so much writing (and journaling! Ugh! A lot of boys are going "Huh? What do I think about green cheese? It's green? I don't know!" :tongue_smilie:).

 

Jedis are a great addition to homeschool. One day I had my son drawing a picture of a horse being aware of its surroundings (for science). He doesn't like drawing, and he was mildly freaking out about this. I then said "Just draw Darth Vader... a horse would be aware of him!" He then said "I'll draw General Grievous!" He had a great time drawing a horse with General Grievous on top of him. :D

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

The main jist of the video is that boys need constant (or near constant) movement/ interaction. It talks about how schools are made for girls and try to get boys to fit the mold. It talks about how boys learn differently.

 

I didn't watch the video but this has indeed been my experience with my four boys.

 

My day is one long exercise in hugs, kisses, joking, indoors, outdoors, indoors, outdoors, jumping, banging, yelling, running, grammar, and math. And snacks. Lots of snacks.

 

Public school truly would be a cage for my boys.

[MerryAtHope]

however I do expect them to keep their heads above their feet during school.

 

 

:willy_nilly: You're so demanding!:lol:

[Mom-ninja.]

Math facts and other memory works are learned and recited while doing jumping jacks or sit ups or on mini trampoline....you get the picture.

 

I do not require them to sit. They may stand or lie on the floor as long as they pay attention. Think putty is great! We love the stuff.

 

We start each day with a walk or bike ride outside.

[Angie in VA]

One hyphenated word: mini-tramp. Seriously. I don't think I could make it through a school day without it. I also know a public school teacher who SWEARS by yoga balls instead of chairs. Oh, and fine motor skills hidden in other assignments besides writing. I've found also that my ADHD, SI boy does MUCH better with typing (using both hands instead of one in writing). Just some ideas for ya!

 

Amen to a mini rebounder. Life saver on a rainy or snowy day, and good exercise on a good weather day too. Many a time have I told a child, "Go bounce!" Oh and when we have lived in houses that are smaller than our current house (and we had smaller yards then too) the mini rebounder was a must have too.

 

I can't watch the video right now, but my ds (now 11) has ALWAYS gotten more done after exercising. It is just part of our school day.

[boscopup]

This scene that SWB posted on her site:

 

Dictation with Ben

 

That is sooooooo exactly how it goes here some days. :lol:

[TXMary2]

 

My day is one long exercise in hugs, kisses, joking, indoors, outdoors, indoors, outdoors, jumping, banging, yelling, running, grammar, and math. And snacks. Lots of snacks.

.

 

If you throw in reptiles, this is a typical day at my house!

[Hedgehogs4]

I teach my boy with a mini-trampoline (as opposed to a mini-tramp which sounds like a tramp that is mini-sized for a boy...not what I want to convey to my son! :lol: ) an excercise ball on which to jump, roll, bounce, whatever, and silly putty. Much memory work has been done on the trampoline and ball, and many narrations have been done while furiously working the silly putty in the hands and putting it on the nose, etc.

 

essentially, he must be moving until he absolutely must sit still. then, when he must sit still he is able, because he has been allowed to move as much as he needs.

 

he's skinny, and he eats like a horse.

[redsquirrel]

I have two boys and don't find them difficult to teach. Now, I do have a mini-tramp but that is more about living in New England and the long winters. This winter we forgot to get it out.

 

My boys are 11 and 6. I don't see them as needing to move and interact constantly. In fact, my 11 year old spent the afternoon with his nose in a book while my 6 year old played quietly with train tracks.

 

They can be very high energy. They both are involved in martial arts and take ballet lessons and swimming lessons. We bike ride and jog as a family.

 

We do take movement breaks in school, I encourage jumping jacks and running around the block whenever necessary. I just see it more as a function of being young, rather than being male. I grew up in a family of all girls and we were/are a rowdy bunch, no doubt. ;)

[MagnaSky]

This scene that SWB posted on her site:

 

Dictation with Ben

 

That is sooooooo exactly how it goes here some days. :lol:

 

The same thing goes on here as well most days.:lol:

[FairProspects]

The same thing goes on here as well most days.:lol:

 

I'm SO glad it is not just us!!

[Angie in VA]

*Waving to Hedgehogs4 whom I "met" on her blog, linked here, after attending the same CC practicum last summer!*

 

I teach my boy with a mini-trampoline (as opposed to a mini-tramp which sounds like a tramp that is mini-sized for a boy...not what I want to convey to my son! :lol: ) an excercise ball on which to jump, roll, bounce, whatever, and silly putty. Much memory work has been done on the trampoline and ball, and many narrations have been done while furiously working the silly putty in the hands and putting it on the nose, etc.

 

essentially, he must be moving until he absolutely must sit still. then, when he must sit still he is able, because he has been allowed to move as much as he needs.

 

he's skinny, and he eats like a horse.

 

Yes! We too have an exercise ball and silly putty. How could I have forgotten silly putty? That really helps too. :)

[MyLittleBears]

3 boys here and loving it!

 

1.A tip a friend gave me was a squishy ball (like the stress balls at the office) while they do math or whatever. It doubles as a strengthening tool for their little hand muscles.

 

2. If you have really young ones- having a toy that only comes out during school (like playdough) so you can focus on getting the one on one stuff done with the olders. We use a large platic box with rice in it to run toy construction trucks through.

 

3. One of biggest things at our house was that we simply turned off the TV and video games and they eventually they learned to entertain themselves. All of a sudden reading is a favorite thing to do. It was like a miracle! Now they look forward to picking a movie and watching with dad once a week and playing the Xbox once a week. (I always get "You're boys are so well behaved" in public and I firmly believe it is because they know what to do with themselves when the T.V. is off)

Looking back, I wish we had done it sooner.

 

4. Take scheduled breaks during the day to just run and jump outside.

 

5. Lots and lots of legos!

 

Just a side note, I did not require lots of writing for the prek, k, ages. especially not tied to reading instruction.

Edited April 8, 2011 by MyLittleBears

[brownie]

OK but what if you have multiple boys? I have 3...the oldest is fine. He moves a bit but keeps to himself. Though it is helpful that I have him his own desk back to back with me :) However all of a sudden this winter I started having issues with the 8 and 5 year old getting in each other's space...especially during science and history when I am teaching all 3 together. We sit at a long table, the 5 year old next to me and the 8 year old across and yet inevitably the 8 year old ends up under the table, messing with the 5 year old. The next thing you know they are giggling or arguing but either way, they are not paying attention to me.

 

I just don't understand...my 8 year old used to be very efficient and easy to teach. He was a bit wiggly last year but I chalked it up to 1st grade. Now it is out of control! He also does things like hang upside down on his seat, click pens, fiddle with noisy toys. I think I am going to have to put him in a padded cell! I can't keep every possible implement out of his reach and both his brothers.

[boscopup]

Brownie, you're scaring me! I also have 3 boys. Only one is school aged. I'm a wee bit scared of trying to keep all 3 on track at the same time in a few years! They are so wild and silly when they get together. And everything is a weapon! Or a bomb. In Sam's the other day, I had to tell them not to talk about bombs in public. :tongue_smilie:

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

Well, I have four boys. The other half of this equation is that children must learn to obey their parents. I have to have appropriate expectations for them, and they have to meet appropriate standards.

 

It takes awhile to learn what can be reasonably expected from each child, but once I do, I consistently hold him to that standard.

 

We also have rules about kindness and thoughtfulness. One of my boys might be a basket case, but he's not allowed to stop his brother from studying. He has to be a self-contained basket case. The older ones must allow the younger ones the same focused Mama-time they enjoyed at those ages. The younger ones must play nicely in another part of the house while Mama has Socratic discussions and studies Algebra and Geometry with the older ones. (Edited to add: If that sounds a little too romantic or Disney-esque, maybe it would help you to know that the only rules for those unattended times are not to do anything with fire or knives and not to take apart anything that they aren't sure they can put back together. It is the best I can hope for. They are liable to try anything when I'm not looking.)

 

If they start playing off of each other during independent work time, I simply won't let them sit near each other. The worst thing I can do to my boys is to put them in isolation. They miss each other and nearly die of loneliness.

 

They get lots and lots of time to play together, and they share bedrooms, so they work off their boyness on each other all the time.

 

However, school time is Mama's time, and it is a cardinal sin around here to waste Mama's time. I am just not patient enough to put up with foolishness. Put up with wiggles and giggles? Yes. Put up with general boyhood? Yes. Put up with twerpy behavior from young punks? No.

 

Homeschooling is a privilege, and creative/fun homeschooling is a greater privilege. If they'll meet me halfway with behavior, I will give my whole life to making their homeschooling experience a true adventure.

 

If they make my life a living hell, that can be a two-way street, too.

Edited April 7, 2011 by Dulcimeramy

[mommyto4]

I have three boys ( and a little girl) ...and I am still learning much about boys.

 

Here are a few things I have discovered:

 

1. The day revolves around snacks. They are motivated to complete work to get to snack time.

 

2. We have races. Not outside, but inside the house. They run very fast, for long periods of time. We haven't too many serious injuries.

 

3. My oldest son likes to do his work on the couch, surrounded by large cushions. My middle son does his work at a regular height desk, but kneeling on a child-sized chair.

 

4. Humour in the work is a must.

 

5. The two days a week we go to the YMCA are our life-savers.

 

6. Legos are amazing.

 

7. They crave mommy's attention. I try to give it to them as much as I can.

 

8. Audiobooks are amazing.

 

Some days I think I can't deal with having three boys anymore, but then I dream about what life may be like 15 years from now. I imagine them visiting me, and telling about the things they are doing. I am so proud to be a mom of three boys and I know I will just get prouder and prouder as they grow and mature (they will mature, right? At some point?).

[boscopup]

I am so proud to be a mom of three boys and I know I will just get prouder and prouder as they grow and mature (they will mature, right? At some point?).

 

Has your husband matured? :lol:

[MyLittleBears]

 

8. Audiobooks are amazing.

 

 

:iagree:

[Aconnolley]

This scene that SWB posted on her site:

 

Dictation with Ben

 

I feel so much better. :lol: But I'm glad that there is not an actual dictation script of some of our lessons. ;)

 

Angela

[Critterfixer]

The main jist of the video is that boys need constant (or near constant) movement/ interaction. It talks about how schools are made for girls and try to get boys to fit the mold. It talks about how boys learn differently.

 

Now, I don't Facebook at all, so I'm going to guess that the main idea of the video seems to be cater to what boys naturally want to do to make learning fun. Is that about it, or am I missing the point? I don't think traditional school serves little girls all that well either if the idea is to cater to their desires to bribe them to learn.

 

We also have rules about kindness and thoughtfulness. One of my boys might be a basket case, but he's not allowed to stop his brother from studying. He has to be a self-contained basket case. The older ones must allow the younger ones the same focused Mama-time they enjoyed at those ages. The younger ones must play nicely in another part of the house while Mama has Socratic discussions and studies Algebra and Geometry with the older ones. (Edited to add: If that sounds a little too romantic or Disney-esque, maybe it would help you to know that the only rules for those unattended times are not to do anything with fire or knives and not to take apart anything that they aren't sure they can put back together. It is the best I can hope for. They are liable to try anything when I'm not looking.)

:lol: I would add taking off clothes in full view of the road to that list, based on personal experience. It was hot. They went skinny-dipping in the creek in front of the house.

 

But I also agree about house rules. They don't always get obeyed, because the boys are young and apt to forget, but they always get enforced. I am fortunate enough to have an office that it connected to the kitchen with a glass french door. Melt-downs go in there to cool down while one of my twin ds7 does his work with me in the kitchen. I also use the space so that if someone is complaining that his brother is breathing too loud he can go in there to work.

I set timers for outdoor time in between school. The punishment for not coming in with a cheerful attitude is to spend the next break inside with me, sitting at the table and doing nothing. I have made it clear that I will not accept sloppy work done in a hurry (because they like to race.) I have a copier and I know how to use it. I will make them redo it.

 

The caveat to all that is that I make sure they get out for a break if at all possible about every forty-five minutes. And the breaks are generous-thirty minutes after math, and fifteen to twenty between copywork and penmanship. I also pay attention to how much I am requiring of them in the way of their phonics, reading or copywork. I have learned that if they are very frustrated, it is often because they just need a little more practice there. So we might do the same lesson the next day.

I have also found that boys need a lot of encouragement to stay focused. I sort of remind myself every day to make sure I find three things that they are doing well and to tell them so. They puff up like little frogs.

[Rivka]

The main jist of the video is that boys need constant (or near constant) movement/ interaction. It talks about how schools are made for girls and try to get boys to fit the mold. It talks about how boys learn differently.

 

I've heard this before, and here is what I just don't get. Remember 19th century schools, where children were prodded to great intellectual feats of grammar, Latin, mathematics, memorization, etc. through the application of constant rigor and drill? The whole educational model that classical education valorizes?

 

...Those schools were for boys, right? Because back then they thought girls didn't need that kind of education and weren't fit for it anyway.

 

And even in the first part of the 20th century, all the years and decades that boys outperformed girls academically, and the prevailing theory was that males were smarter and better suited to abstract thought than females... there weren't mini trampolines in the schools then, were there? Because I keep hearing that schools were more demanding, more academic, less dumbed-down, less touchy-feely, et cetera, back then.

 

I don't get why schools are suddenly seen as being "made for girls," when historical analysis shows quite clearly that they were made for boys. Is it just because girls are outperforming boys in some subjects and closing the achievement gap in others? And that couldn't be because girls are smart and work hard - it has to be because boys are being unfairly disadvantaged in some way?

[Mommyfaithe]

I didn't watch the video but this has indeed been my experience with my four boys.

 

My day is one long exercise in hugs, kisses, joking, indoors, outdoors, indoors, outdoors, jumping, banging, yelling, running, grammar, and math. And snacks. Lots of snacks.

 

Public school truly would be a cage for my boys.

 

This...I have 4 boys....we move A LOT!

 

Faithe

[patchfire]

I've heard this before, and here is what I just don't get. Remember 19th century schools, where children were prodded to great intellectual feats of grammar, Latin, mathematics, memorization, etc. through the application of constant rigor and drill? The whole educational model that classical education valorizes?

 

...Those schools were for boys, right? Because back then they thought girls didn't need that kind of education and weren't fit for it anyway.

 

And even in the first part of the 20th century, all the years and decades that boys outperformed girls academically, and the prevailing theory was that males were smarter and better suited to abstract thought than females... there weren't mini trampolines in the schools then, were there? Because I keep hearing that schools were more demanding, more academic, less dumbed-down, less touchy-feely, et cetera, back then.

 

I don't get why schools are suddenly seen as being "made for girls," when historical analysis shows quite clearly that they were made for boys. Is it just because girls are outperforming boys in some subjects and closing the achievement gap in others? And that couldn't be because girls are smart and work hard - it has to be because boys are being unfairly disadvantaged in some way?

 

:iagree:

 

I have one child who loves to write, who likes to memorize, and even makes up stories. I have another child who is very, very wiggly and bouncy. The former is male, the latter is female. Who knows what my other daughter will be like!

[FairProspects]

I've heard this before, and here is what I just don't get. Remember 19th century schools, where children were prodded to great intellectual feats of grammar, Latin, mathematics, memorization, etc. through the application of constant rigor and drill? The whole educational model that classical education valorizes?

 

...Those schools were for boys, right? Because back then they thought girls didn't need that kind of education and weren't fit for it anyway.

 

And even in the first part of the 20th century, all the years and decades that boys outperformed girls academically, and the prevailing theory was that males were smarter and better suited to abstract thought than females... there weren't mini trampolines in the schools then, were there? Because I keep hearing that schools were more demanding, more academic, less dumbed-down, less touchy-feely, et cetera, back then.

 

I don't get why schools are suddenly seen as being "made for girls," when historical analysis shows quite clearly that they were made for boys. Is it just because girls are outperforming boys in some subjects and closing the achievement gap in others? And that couldn't be because girls are smart and work hard - it has to be because boys are being unfairly disadvantaged in some way?

 

I don't actually think it was made for boys or girls. The idea of the child in the 19th century was much different than it is today. Also, corporal punishment was very much in vogue to achieve desired results, regardless of sex.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

They had shorter and fewer school days, and more exercise and hard work before and after school. Just those two differences would go a long way.

 

They also had 'dunces' in schools and poor or 'stupid' boys who didn't go to school at all. Sometimes I shudder to think that my boys would have probably been in one of those categories back then, just because either our income or the schooling method did not suit.

 

With today's lifestyle, materials, and methods, my boys' education can exceed the romanticized schooling of yesteryear. Why shouldn't learning be as comfortable and enjoyable as possible, when one has a WTM-style (world-class) education at the end of the journey?

 

It is funny for me to argue this side. My boys have studied McGuffey and Elson Readers, Webster's Speller, the King James Bible, Emma Serl's Language Lessons, Ray's Arithmetic, and other dusty old books that were actually in common use back in the old days.

 

They get all the learning that these books offer. They just get it up in apple trees or sprawled on the floor.

[annlaura]

Ooooooh boy! You are scaring me! :tongue_smilie: I'm going to have to remember some of these ideas.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Ok so must haves Mini trampoline, exercise ball and silly putty?? LOL Am I missing anything :D And snacks and lizards. (We already have a bearded dragon so we are ahead of the game LOL)

[my2boysteacher]

Here are a few things I've learned about teaching my boys over the years:

Language Arts--Take spelling tests using dry erase board and a rainbow of colored dry erase markers --Oral spelling bees with rewards of sugarless gum.--Steady and consistent handwriting practice--Diagramming sentences on the patio doors with window markers (even more fun if you throw in sentences containing potty humor. :)). --Daily required reading from a young age, increase time gradually.-- Memorize poetry on a weekly basis, they love this! I tell them to go practice reciting their poems to one of our pets. Throw in silly poems as well as classics.-- One of their recent faves: "Teddy said it was a hat and so I put it on. Now dad is saying where the heck's the toilet plunger gone? ":lol:

Science-- In our house it has to be interest led. We've tried curriculums, but if they boys aren't interested, it won't fly. They love taking things apart, electricity, digging in dirt, collecting rocks, growing herbs and veggies...

Math--My husband does flash cards with them every evening. It gets REALLY wild, but works because of that. It normally ends in a wrestling match. :lol: We also do our Math Mammoth curriculum every day. Also, GAMES--they love Muggins, Set, Yahtzee, etc.

History--They need to feel connected to what they are learning. We found reading a historical fiction book for each time period really raises their interest. Also, movies whenever possible to reinforce ideas. They love narrations because I ham it up about how my hands hurt from typing so much as they give me narrations. I think it is so important for boys to study famous men from the past, they need to know about their struggles and successes and have something to aspire to.

Discussion--This is one area I've just started to realize the importance of. While we are eating I'll ask open ended questions, encouraging them to think through how they would react or what they would do if they were in someone else's shoes (usually whichever historic figure we're studying).

We'll share our opinions on if a certain character from a book was right or wrong, or what they could have done differently.

Bible--I loved doing bible study with my boys, but have now turned it over to my husband since I think they need to hear Dad being the spiritual leader, and modeling how to be a good Christian man.

 

I agree that boys need A LOT of exercise and activity, but in our house it is also understood that you need to learn to sit and attend to the task at hand without allowing yourself to become distracted. NOT an easy task, but worth all the effort.

 

Sorry for all the grammar errors, it's past my bedtime. :D

[boscopup]

Did boys in those earlier times start school later? Most of my issue with the schools today is that they expect work that may not be developmentally appropriate for a very young child. They have first graders writing whole paragraphs, when previously, these children would have started school in first grade (or later?) and thus be learning letters at that point. Is that correct?

 

Hard physical labor before and after school is another good point.

 

Now those of you with an exercise ball... How do you keep it from being a weapon? When we had one, the rule was it stayed in my room because they'd do too much damage rolling it around. Granted, this was my size ball, not a size my kids could sit on.

[Joyofsixreboot]

What has made a difference for my boys is not so much during school as what is done around it. My boys need work! Physical, useful work. Also as much time outside being physical after school and at recess as possible. Our 21st century sedentary, video game world is one I love but human beings were designed differently. Rakes, hoes and shovels are some of my best educational tools. Really, though they moan, I think boys and girls want to feel useful within the family.

[JudoMom]

Brownie, you're scaring me! I also have 3 boys. Only one is school aged. I'm a wee bit scared of trying to keep all 3 on track at the same time in a few years! They are so wild and silly when they get together. And everything is a weapon! Or a bomb. In Sam's the other day, I had to tell them not to talk about bombs in public. :tongue_smilie:

 

Don't worry. By the time they're all school age much of your sanity will be gone anyway, so it's not a big deal and nothing to fret over :lol:.

 

Actually, much of the energy that my oldest 2 used to put into moving around now gets diverted into making really funny comments. So at least now I laugh while I'm irritated with them for delaying the end of the school day :001_huh:.

[brownie]

Don't let me scare you too much...I have three kids minimally with sensory issues. Even split up, you wouldn't believe how much noise the 8 year old can make (with a bean bag chair):001_huh: Plus I think something else must be going on with this particular child at this particular point in time. Meanwhile, I need to get him under control to preserve my sanity and our relationship.

 

So, many people say they won't tolerate it and teach the kid obedience but approach do you take when it happens? DS loses his video game time, which he adores, but lately it seems like he never gets any. If I split them up to work, I can't teach history and science where we work together, but I have been sending him to work elsewhere for math and LA...it helps. I've let him fiddle and draw...I need to be more intentional about providing something quiet to fiddle with. But when wrestling starts to happen in the middle of a hisstory lesson...what do you actually do?

 

Brownie

[Ester Maria]

I've heard this before, and here is what I just don't get. Remember 19th century schools, where children were prodded to great intellectual feats of grammar, Latin, mathematics, memorization, etc. through the application of constant rigor and drill? The whole educational model that classical education valorizes?

 

...Those schools were for boys, right? Because back then they thought girls didn't need that kind of education and weren't fit for it anyway.

 

And even in the first part of the 20th century, all the years and decades that boys outperformed girls academically, and the prevailing theory was that males were smarter and better suited to abstract thought than females... there weren't mini trampolines in the schools then, were there? Because I keep hearing that schools were more demanding, more academic, less dumbed-down, less touchy-feely, et cetera, back then.

 

I don't get why schools are suddenly seen as being "made for girls," when historical analysis shows quite clearly that they were made for boys. Is it just because girls are outperforming boys in some subjects and closing the achievement gap in others? And that couldn't be because girls are smart and work hard - it has to be because boys are being unfairly disadvantaged in some way?

Oddio Rivka I love you. :iagree::iagree:

 

Concisely and to the point. The whole boy-girl thing is SO blown out of proportions that it no longer amuses me... now it scares me that people are ready to write off boys from serious academic work. Granted, I have no boys, but I am married to one ;) who comes from the family of boys, I have friends with boys, and, in the end of the day, I was educated with the boys. And they were doing JUST FINE, as girls were (yes, in ex-cathedra school approach). Some differences in some subjects existed, natural propensities for some subjects, but on the whole, there were successful boys and successful girls, just as both boys and girls who failed to adapt to the system. I had no idea about the "war against boys" conspiracy-like theories until I moved to the US.

Edited April 7, 2011 by Ester Maria

[JudoMom]

Oddio Rivka I love you. :iagree::iagree:

 

Concisely and to the point. The whole boy-girl thing is SO blown out of proportions that it no longer amuses me... now it scares me that people are ready to write off boys from serious academic work. Granted, I have no boys, but I am married to one ;) who comes from the family of boys, I have friends with boys, and, in the end of the day, I was educated with the boys. And they were doing JUST FINE, as girls were (yes, in ex-cathedra school approach). Some differences in some subjects existed, natural propensities for some subjects, but on the whole, there were successful boys and successful girls, just as both boys and girls who failed to adapt to the system. I had no idea about the "war against boys" conspiracy-like theories until I moved to the US.

 

I expect a lot from my boys, both academically and behaviorally. Probably too much in some areas and not enough in others, but that's another post. I start expecting them to pay attention for formal lessons by age 5, and it continues on from there. While you'd never know it from their home school behavior, they can quietly sit (with no toys or distractions) through church services, concerts, and other places where they should be "seen and not heard". I say this to give you a bit of background before I ask my question :).

 

At what age did the schools begin back in the 19th-early 20th century? I'm genuinely curious. I think if I sent my boys to the US public school system, they would hate school and hate learning. I found early on with my oldest when I was teaching him to read, that I could ask him to focus on sitting still or the letters in the book. To ask him to do both caused him to fail at both. Now he's quite capable of sitting still and concentrating at the same time. I've always assumed it was the early start of our current system that set boys up to learn to hate learning. But maybe it is the touchy-feely part of the system that is more of the problem in the younger years (I'm not touchy-feely in my teaching, and I expect them to pay attention and learn). Maybe it's the lack of tough love and lack of high expectations that's more of the problem.

[Hedgehogs4]

*Waving to Hedgehogs4 whom I "met" on her blog, linked here, after attending the same CC practicum last summer!*

 

 

 

Yes! We too have an exercise ball and silly putty. How could I have forgotten silly putty? That really helps too. :)

 

:seeya: Waving back! Hi!

[Hedgehogs4]

I think today's society is so child-focused that we assume that kids cannot sit still. They can. A child can be trained to sit still and pay attention for periods of time appropriate to their age. I think, however, that these are two key points: first, it has to be an age-appropriate amount of time. at 5-6 years old that might be 15 minutes. For a 9yo it might be 45. The second point is that the onus is on us to provide material that makes them WANT to pay attention. No one likes to be tortured with boredom, so sitting still for sitting still's sake is counter-productive if they are not interested in what is being presented.

 

also, to the PP who asked about the ball becoming a "weapon" I'll say this...I've seen a post recently on the general board from a woman with sons who trash her house every day and regularly disobey the rules. :001_huh: i didn't bother answering the post, but this is something that i never fear in my household...it would not happen with my son because he knows he would be in such big, painful trouble (i don't mean physical pain) that he just doesn't break rules. The ball stays on the ground, in the basement, or no higher than his waist / chest (when he bounces it.) HE FOLLOWS THE RULES.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I don't excuse my boys from serious academic work. I'd match my oldest against any homeschooler in America, and his brothers are following in his footsteps.

 

Please don't assume that those of us who let our boys romp and play through most of their day are excusing them from Latin, Greek, History, Philosophy, Government, Literature, Poetry, Theology, Algebra, Geometry...because we're not.

 

My boys can also sit through church with perfect behavior. Even the little ones. They can also converse with elderly people and be respectful of adults in polite society.

 

But they are boys! And home is messy, noisy, funny, and busy. I love how my boys are learning and growing.

 

Yesterday evening, Nathaniel (14) came home from the library grinning ear to ear. He had found a treasure! Aquinas' Summa on the Summa. I couldn't afford to order it from amazon, and he really, really wanted it because Peter Kreeft refers to the Summa so often in his Handbook of Christian Apologetics. (Nate is practically sleeping with that book. He loves Kreeft.)

 

He wolfed down his supper, stuck his nose in the Summa, and didn't come back to earth for an hour.

 

Then he went outside and cleared a section of ground to build a campfire. He built his fire, fixed himself some tea, and played his guitar and sang the moon up.

 

This is what I'm talking about. A boy who reads Kreeft's Apologetics for fun, knows how to build his own campfire, contents himself with music of his own creation and the beauty of God's natural world...this is homeschooling.

 

I don't want the academic study without the health, happiness, and vitality of life. I don't want the developed body without a developed mind to match. With homeschooling, my son does not have to choose between learning and joy.

[WTMindy]

One hyphenated word: mini-tramp. Seriously.

 

This is a mandatory piece of equipment in our school room! Actually it used to be. DS is 12.5 now, and doesn't need it (although a nerf soccer ball for him to kick against the walls has replaced it.) But with twin boys coming up in the not-to-distant future, I'm glad I saved the mini-tramp!!!

[RahRah]

I think today's society is so child-focused that we assume that kids cannot sit still. They can. A child can be trained to sit still and pay attention for periods of time appropriate to their age. I think, however, that these are two key points: first, it has to be an age-appropriate amount of time. at 5-6 years old that might be 15 minutes. For a 9yo it might be 45. The second point is that the onus is on us to provide material that makes them WANT to pay attention. No one likes to be tortured with boredom, so sitting still for sitting still's sake is counter-productive if they are not interested in what is being presented.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

And it was probably the best advice I heard at the homeschool convention I attended in Chicago last year - boys learn to sit just as they learned to walk, talk and do other things.

 

Sure enough, in time, DS (six) has gone from sitting only for a short period of time (about 5 minutes) to focus on a lesson, to now between 15-20 minutes at a clip. No way would I even try to go longer than 20-minutes at this point, unless he was engrossed and wanted to continue along.....which doesn't happen that often, but does now more with frequency! Once we're done with a lesson, he's off to play and move, move, move - then we're back to whatever lesson needs our quiet attention.

 

I do also do some things actively with him - that we don't necessarily have to sit and focus on.....things like science (especially the earth science stuff and nature topics) can easily happen outside while we're also doing something related, history happens mostly in the car as we listen to CD's of SOTW along our drive, we do math in the car too.....so for us, it's balancing the need in some subjects to be seated, with the need of a little boy to be active, move and play.

[boscopup]

also, to the PP who asked about the ball becoming a "weapon" I'll say this...I've seen a post recently on the general board from a woman with sons who trash her house every day and regularly disobey the rules. :001_huh: i didn't bother answering the post, but this is something that i never fear in my household...it would not happen with my son because he knows he would be in such big, painful trouble (i don't mean physical pain) that he just doesn't break rules. The ball stays on the ground, in the basement, or no higher than his waist / chest (when he bounces it.) HE FOLLOWS THE RULES.

 

If it were just my 6 year old (who is quite compliant), it wouldn't be an issue. Throw in 2 younger boys who are still being trained, it is one. The 3 year old (at the time) would be rolling the ball (never left the ground and wasn't even going fast), and it would knock over the 1 year old. The rule ended up having to be that no one touches the ball. The ball was bigger than the 1 year old. It just plain wasn't safe with a 3 year old who is very active, and there wasn't anything they could DO with the ball except roll it around, which does damage. They couldn't sit on it. It was too big. That's why I asked if you people were using a smaller exercise ball.

 

And let me tell you, there is such a huge difference between the behavior of ONE boy and 2 or 3 together. It's like they feed off each other's energy! I am just now starting to get them calm when together. They are perfectly fine by themselves.

 

Mine also do not destroy the house unless I'm just not watching the younger ones well enough. They're getting better though. It's taken a LOT of time and training, plus lots of "tomato staking". ;) My first son was relatively easy to train. The second one is a whole different ball of wax. Thankfully, the third one is a bit more like my first, so there is hope. :D

[boscopup]

Concisely and to the point. The whole boy-girl thing is SO blown out of proportions that it no longer amuses me... now it scares me that people are ready to write off boys from serious academic work.

 

 

Who said they aren't having their boys do serious academic work? :confused:

 

There ARE differences IN GENERAL between boys and girls. There are, of course, exceptions. Yes, sometimes girls are wiggly and boys like to write a lot, but those are not the most common situation. Usually, it's the other way around. They have different rates of maturity, different hormones, etc. My friend's 3 year old girl can write all day. My 6 year old boy will feel like his hand is about to fall off after writing a few sentences. By middle school, he'll be perfectly capable of writing just as well as she does, but for now, his fine motor skills just aren't there yet. He's making improvement and doing copywork daily, but it's a process. And my main complaint with the schools is that they push tons and tons of creative writing, which many boys are not physically or mentally capable of doing yet, then they wonder why the boys can't write a basic essay when they get out of high school. :tongue_smilie: I have no doubt that my son, who is not doing nearly the amount of writing as the public school first graders, will be able to write an excellent essay, research paper, and other expository works by time he's out of high school. I'm teaching him SKILLS at a developmentally appropriate level.

 

Differences between genders shouldn't scare people. It doesn't make one better than the other. It just makes them different. There's nothing wrong with being different!

[Ester Maria]

No one likes to be tortured with boredom, so sitting still for sitting still's sake is counter-productive if they are not interested in what is being presented.

When I attended elementary school (elementary school was basically half-day, though, the rest of the day was outside the institution, i.e. there was no "daycare" element in schools), if we disregard fluffing at the beginning and at the end of each class, we can still talk about a good half an hour to forty minutes of concentrated work. There were no great disciplinary issues and no great discrepancies between boys and girls in the ability to sit still through the lesson. Yes, there was puerile chaos during recess, but in the classroom? Order. Of course, the transition from no structured learning to very structured schedule was not made overnight, but over one school year, sure.

 

What I find problematic is that we have set everything to the idea that school should be primarily FUN. I disagree with that. I think, actually, there is a value in being taught to sit still even through boring, dry lessons - the value of self-restraint, for example, so ignored in today's society. Such a model of the school teaches a lot more than just academics, if children are forced to "tame" their natures out of their comfort zone from the very first grade. A lot of behavioral issues with children (and, mind you, with adults too) basically come down to lack of self-restraint.

Differences between genders shouldn't scare people. It doesn't make one better than the other. It just makes them different. There's nothing wrong with being different!

I am not denying general differences between genders.

What I am saying is that they are blown out of proportions today with the whole "war against boys" mentality, "schools are suited for girls" mentality, etc.

 

@ JudoMom (forgot to quote while multiquoting): The answer would depend on the time and the place, it can be anything between 3 (really) and 8 (really). The traditional Jewish model of educating boys starts at 3, kids are literate by 5 and start doing actual work on text, legal studies kicking in at young double-digits, learning basically full time daily from a very young age, dual curriculum (secular and religious) and all that jazz. And it still produces happy, lovable boys - but of whom actual, tangible, real academic work is expected at very young ages. For some, it does not work and it is too overwhelming. But for a surprising number it does work, so I suppose it is possible.

[Ester Maria]

But they are boys! And home is messy, noisy, funny, and busy. I love how my boys are learning and growing.

Nu, it seems that you manage to get the best of both worlds - as long as academics do not suffer, I do not complain (as much as I hate mess and noise LOL). ;) Congratulations.

 

Nathanael sounds like a lovable young man, by the way. :D (In fact, I like your description of him so much that I would have proposed my eldest for a shidduch if it had been Rambam instead of Aquinas. ;) Joking, of course, but he does sound lovely.)