swainsonshawk Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 It just drags me down. I just spent an hour on the phone with my sister in law who used to homeschool, but now has her kids in a charter public school. She is so ecstatically happy with their teachers, their classrooms, schedule, opportunities, performance, etc, etc. It is hard to listen to and to want to continue homeschooling. Right now my kids and I are sick, so there isn't a lot of school work getting done. I'm struggling with the thought of homeschooling a 7th grader next year and about whether this is the best thing for him. I have homeschooled him since the beginning. I worry about his social life. We just moved and the kids his age aren't very accepting and he's having a hard time making friends. He has church activities, scouts, tae kwon do, homeschooling group (meets twice a week), so we are trying to help him get integrated. I worry about his academics. He really won't try hard with writing. I just realized that he can't do double digit long division. His spelling is still miles behind where it should be. And I can't seem to get a handle on it with illness after illness and the little kids being so needy. Basically this is not a good time in our homeschool and I am filled with doubts and the grass is greener syndrome. Help me feel better. Help me make it through. I keep thinking that if I could just grow my youngest up a little things would be easier on me. I wouldn't feel pulled by a constantly whiny and demanding toddler while trying to educate my oldest. I need an hand today! And a shoulder to cry on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 :grouphug: Sometimes we just need to take a sanity break for a few days. Is that possible for you? Can you take a couple of days off? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Well... I hope this is encouraging and helpful. I would say: take full advantage of the homeschooling lifestyle. Enjoy a breakfast feast with your kiddos. Make special time with your son. Build your relationships and your family culture. Fill your home with art and flowers and music (if that appeals to you)... or do something hands-onish- like gardens, home projects, etc. all together. One of the advantages of homeschooling- especially with a large family- isn't about all the opportunities, classes and great schedules you can facilitate- it is in the joy of building relationships and strong roots together, of creating family culture. I find they work better when their hearts are also being nurtured. I didn't check all the ages in your signature... but I try to make sure my oldest is a priority in the midst of the busyness with little ones and it can be hard because he is a very independent learner- but no one likes to be in that place where suddenly you realize they are way behind where you want them to be. I would breathe deep and think again about why you choose this path in the beginning and ponder what you can do to meet academic needs while still talking care of all the children. Seasons of illness come and go. Take advantage of the flexibility. I hope this helps. I know it is a very pro-homeschooling response! But I try to see the richness in our days- a richness that is different from what your sister-in-law shared. Blessings, Rebecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I just realized our kids are about the same age! I also wanted to say I feel the "junior high" pressure too. We will be sixth grade this coming school year and I am already thinking about seventh! My oldest son is going to be 11 in May and then my sixth little boy is 2. We are expecting twins in July! :grouphug: Rebecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugs Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 (edited) If your son were going to ps he still wouln't be getting any work done because he'd be home sick (at least as a hs'er he can get some work completed). He would probably be sick more frequently (I know my neighbor's kids are). IMHO I think middle school is a terrible time to send them to ps. My daughter desparately wanted to go to ps in 6th grade so I let her (she's the kind of kid who thinks the grass is greener on the other side). She cried almost everyday - she hated getting up that early :glare:, and though she had friends at school there were enough "mean" kids to throw her off. Does that help any? :grouphug: Edited March 23, 2011 by bugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 It just drags me down. I just spent an hour on the phone with my sister in law who used to homeschool, but now has her kids in a charter public school. She is so ecstatically happy with their teachers, their classrooms, schedule, opportunities, performance, etc, etc. It is hard to listen to and to want to continue homeschooling. Right now my kids and I are sick, so there isn't a lot of school work getting done. I'm struggling with the thought of homeschooling a 7th grader next year and about whether this is the best thing for him. I have homeschooled him since the beginning. I worry about his social life. We just moved and the kids his age aren't very accepting and he's having a hard time making friends. He has church activities, scouts, tae kwon do, homeschooling group (meets twice a week), so we are trying to help him get integrated. I worry about his academics. He really won't try hard with writing. I just realized that he can't do double digit long division. His spelling is still miles behind where it should be. And I can't seem to get a handle on it with illness after illness and the little kids being so needy. Basically this is not a good time in our homeschool and I am filled with doubts and the grass is greener syndrome. Help me feel better. Help me make it through. I keep thinking that if I could just grow my youngest up a little things would be easier on me. I wouldn't feel pulled by a constantly whiny and demanding toddler while trying to educate my oldest. I need an hand today! And a shoulder to cry on. It's March...it's just March...you'll feel better in a month or so (so will I!!) We've had good success asking some of our olders to 'do school' with the youngest while getting some un-distracted focus on the others ('do school' can be flash cards, coloring, reading Calvin & Hobbes, whatever). Just a suggestion. Remember, you are the parent. YOU are the best equipped to educate them, and guide their education. :) Don't sweat the academic rigor too much either. Build those relationships. It pays huge dividends. And we all have 'those days...' trust me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I'm sure your SIL isn't *lying* but remember, she was talking to someone who is still doing what she used to do. Perhaps she needed to (over?) emphasize the good things in order to help combat the nagging questions in her mind? I have no idea if this is true, I have just noticed this kind of dynamic with people who have recently made a lifestyle change... often they over need to "hype" their choice (esp. to people on the "other side") in order to reassure themselves that they have done the right thing. I am sure there are things about PS that aren't all roses... either she's not sharing them or she hasn't experienced them yet. ;) Sounds like you are doing a GREAT job getting your ds involved with other kids. You are seeing his weaknesses -- all kids have weaknesses, and it's good you can see where he needs extra attention. Spend the summer shoring up those areas and stop stressing! I bet you're doing better than you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I need an hand today! And a shoulder to cry on. This is what it takes to get me through the rough patches. I don't know if it's the "right" way to get through, but once I cry, get mad, talk through it with my dh and get a little pep talk from him, I'm good to go. Sometimes these periods can last several days, but after six years we're still at it, so I realize the good outweighs the bad. So here's a virtual hand and shoulder for you. Let it out and let it go. Times will get good again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I try to keep these things in mind: 1. People tend to exaggerate how great things are. Just look at Facebook. You would think mist everyone has the perfect life. 2. People tend to leave out the negatives when talking about a decision they recently made. Most people want to "prove" how great/right/perfect their decision was. 3. What makes one family/child/parent happy isn't necessarily what will make me and mine happy. 4. There are pros and cons to everything. If I was to rave about all the pros of homeschooling to ps parents, they just might question their decision as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I agree, and also, they might be in a "honeymoon period." The glitter may wear off after a while. Even if it doesn't, they are a totally different family in a totally different situation. Make sure you're not comparing apples to oranges . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 :grouphug: I agree that she may be in a honeymoon period. I'm sure all of us homeschoolers have had days when we wonder if the kids aren't better off at the school. :tongue_smilie: I always come back to the original reasons we chose to homeschool. Those reasons are still valid. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 It just drags me down. I just spent an hour on the phone with my sister in law who used to homeschool, but now has her kids in a charter public school. She is so ecstatically happy with their teachers, their classrooms, schedule, opportunities, performance, etc, etc. It is hard to listen to and to want to continue homeschooling. Right now my kids and I are sick, so there isn't a lot of school work getting done. I'm struggling with the thought of homeschooling a 7th grader next year and about whether this is the best thing for him. I have homeschooled him since the beginning. I worry about his social life. We just moved and the kids his age aren't very accepting and he's having a hard time making friends. He has church activities, scouts, tae kwon do, homeschooling group (meets twice a week), so we are trying to help him get integrated. I worry about his academics. He really won't try hard with writing. I just realized that he can't do double digit long division. His spelling is still miles behind where it should be. And I can't seem to get a handle on it with illness after illness and the little kids being so needy. Basically this is not a good time in our homeschool and I am filled with doubts and the grass is greener syndrome. Help me feel better. Help me make it through. I keep thinking that if I could just grow my youngest up a little things would be easier on me. I wouldn't feel pulled by a constantly whiny and demanding toddler while trying to educate my oldest. I need an hand today! And a shoulder to cry on. Ok - here goes: We had a fantastic home school day. The kids started off doing an hour of math followed by an hour of writing....with no arguing or sulking. They just knocked it out and did quite well. Then they did geography, history and science in co-op class. They love their co-op teachers, learned a ton and had a great time. On the drive home, they discussed different science fair projects they want to do. We came home, cleaned the house and just finished reading Sherlock Holmes aloud. They are now reading to their younger brother. (This actually was our day - today. Not all days are like this but I'll take this one. I could also bore you with tons of days that are nowhere near this.) Here's the thing - I can get jealous of anyone's day. Sometimes it seems like everyone else is doing a better job and having a better time. Go back to your basics and your values and see if home schooling is still what is best for your family. If it is - then do it wholeheartedly and the best you can and don't worry about what others are doing. If it's not what's best for your family anymore - that's great, too. Do what is best. But either way, I agree with PP who said to make sure you are comparing apples to oranges. If SIL has a great charter school but you only have inferior schools around, then it doesn't do any good to pine for hers. However, there is nothing saying that you can't look around at your options. Who knows, you may find something fantastic. I did that and found a once a week co-op that has been such a blessing for our family. I also found that the schools that are in our area are not what I want for my kids. Makes it much easier for me to be confident in the decision to home school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I know what you mean. I hate that too. And you know what else I hate? Talking to happy homeschool parents! :0) The ones for whom it works really well. It was great for us for a long time...until it wasn't. I felt like such a failure because I have around me all these *amazing* homeschoolers. Most people have a tendency to present their lives a little better than they are--especially if they are trying to justify something. I remember being SHOCKED one time when I asked a friend how she liked her new dishwasher that she had spent a LOT of money on. She said she liked it, but didn't like this one feature. That astounded me, because most people have to justify themselves and their decisions and she was just ... a realist about it. My homeschool days were good, not great. But I don't really even trust my memory on them, because I know how faulty that can be. I expect school next year (yes, my son is going to school next year) will be a lot the same. Good, not great. But it's the best good I can give him now... And maybe that's the case with your SIL--it's the BEST (good) she can get right now, and she's focusing on the BEST. God help us all in our insecurities...mine have been the root cause of most of my mistakes. Kind regards, Patty Joanna Patty, this is hilarious to me because you've always been one of my homeschooling role models! (I'm not laughing at your feelings but just that I would never ever call you a failure.) Is it ok if I still call you with my insecurities and ask for advice? You know you don't hear a rosy picture from me.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Well, I'll be one of those happy PS parents. My 12 yr old is in school for the first time this year, and my 10 year old continues to homeschool (and she probably always will.) PS has been a good experience for all the reasons you listed. But for every positive there is a negative. I'm not going to come on this board and ask for advice about the negatives at PS because this is a board of homeschoolers and they will tell me to homeschool, which is fine, but not what I'm looking for with this child. I talk to my friends who have kids in PS about those things. Sounds like its the same with your SIL - why would she share the negatives with you when you share this homeschooling background? You'd just tell her to go back to homeschooling, wouldn't you? We commiserate with those who share our experience. We can't really expect that from someone who doesn't share our experience, so we don't generally unload on them, thus you are hearing the "good stuff." So just because you are hearing about the positives of PS, don't let yourself believe that's all there is. There are plenty of negatives and the positives and negatives will be different for each child. You know your kids and what is right for them because YOU are their mom. Nobody else is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 God help us all in our insecurities...mine have been the root cause of most of my mistakes. I need this in a plaque or a cross stitch or something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I think I've probably felt very discouraged, I've almost always homeschooled, felt like I couldn't do it. We're still doing it. We've got three young adults now and four more coming along... I was thinking about my kids the other day in response to people asking me how my kids are doing with what happened to me. I know they are doing very well. Nobody had a meltdown, nobody started using drugs, drinking or running around all night. They're good, not perfect, just really good kids, and we have friends who have helped us immensely since I've been gone. I don't like the public school schedule. I always felt like it interfered with real life and kept me chained to a clock.:lol::tongue_smilie::001_huh::glare: Your comment about happy PS parents...just doesn't apply to us, does it? We are in some ways a lot like some of them, and worlds apart in other ways. I just try to stay off of riding the guilt train. And you can get off at any time.:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 It just drags me down. I just spent an hour on the phone with my sister in law who used to homeschool, but now has her kids in a charter public school. She is so ecstatically happy with their teachers, their classrooms, schedule, opportunities, performance, etc, etc. It is hard to listen to and to want to continue homeschooling. Right now my kids and I are sick, so there isn't a lot of school work getting done. I'm struggling with the thought of homeschooling a 7th grader next year and about whether this is the best thing for him. I have homeschooled him since the beginning. I worry about his social life. We just moved and the kids his age aren't very accepting and he's having a hard time making friends. He has church activities, scouts, tae kwon do, homeschooling group (meets twice a week), so we are trying to help him get integrated. I worry about his academics. He really won't try hard with writing. I just realized that he can't do double digit long division. His spelling is still miles behind where it should be. And I can't seem to get a handle on it with illness after illness and the little kids being so needy. Basically this is not a good time in our homeschool and I am filled with doubts and the grass is greener syndrome. Help me feel better. Help me make it through. I keep thinking that if I could just grow my youngest up a little things would be easier on me. I wouldn't feel pulled by a constantly whiny and demanding toddler while trying to educate my oldest. I need an hand today! And a shoulder to cry on. :grouphug: Too bad she's not watching them grow up as you are your children. Too bad she can't hug her children throughout the day and give them kisses. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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