Adopted children just ARE NOT getting it.

[Rsegrwr]

I really thought that when we brought our 3 adopted children home they'd fall right in to Home schooling and it would be a great transition, plus more time to bond. All three of them have some form of trauma, attachment disorder and mild fetal alcohol. I've tried since 2007 and it's just not working. My older 2 are now high school level and will be dual enrolling next year. I'm wondering if I should place my 3 youngest in public school.

 

My 8 year old still isn't reading above a Kindergarten level and she should be reading at a 2nd grade level....my 7 year old is reading at a level higher than my 8 year old....but behind her in math. It's just pick and choose really when you start listing what they are comprehending, but reading really is our problem.

 

I really hate the thought of putting them in school but when they get frustrated here they cry. My 7 year old will learn something and then a week later not be able to tell me anything about it. I have a feeling some of it is my teaching but some of it might be a disability as well which maybe the school system would be better equipped to handle???

 

I want what is best for them, just not sure where to go from here. We like the home schooling lifestyle and again my older two have managed to make it through (although I'm sure not totally unscathed by moms tempered teaching and instruction).

 

So have any of you had to place younger children in school? What was the process and did you pull them back out or was it the best thing that could have happened? I just feel deflated and defeated....and don't want to keep muddling through if they can get better instruction in school.

 

Thanks!!!

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:grouphug: I am sorry, I do not have any useful advice, but I didn't want to be yet another "view" but no reply. Hopefully this will bump you up so someone who can help you will see this.

[Parrothead]

Have you had them tested for learning disabilities?

[Joanne]

I just want to say that it is going to take effort, care, time, organization and diligence to advocate for these children in the system. A case could be made that it will take as much resources to advocate for them in traditional school as it is taking to do your best in homeschooling with them.

 

I'm not offering advice in favor of either direction, but just reminding you that the needs emerging from these 3 will require a great deal "more" regardless.

[mykdsmomy]

I really thought that when we brought our 3 adopted children home they'd fall right in to Home schooling and it would be a great transition, plus more time to bond. All three of them have some form of trauma, attachment disorder and mild fetal alcohol. I've tried since 2007 and it's just not working. My older 2 are now high school level and will be dual enrolling next year. I'm wondering if I should place my 3 youngest in public school.

 

My 8 year old still isn't reading above a Kindergarten level and she should be reading at a 2nd grade level....my 7 year old is reading at a level higher than my 8 year old....but behind her in math. It's just pick and choose really when you start listing what they are comprehending, but reading really is our problem.

 

I really hate the thought of putting them in school but when they get frustrated here they cry. My 7 year old will learn something and then a week later not be able to tell me anything about it. I have a feeling some of it is my teaching but some of it might be a disability as well which maybe the school system would be better equipped to handle???

 

I want what is best for them, just not sure where to go from here. We like the home schooling lifestyle and again my older two have managed to make it through (although I'm sure not totally unscathed by moms tempered teaching and instruction).

 

So have any of you had to place younger children in school? What was the process and did you pull them back out or was it the best thing that could have happened? I just feel deflated and defeated....and don't want to keep muddling through if they can get better instruction in school.

 

Thanks!!!

 

My ds7 has FASD and I can tell you from our experience the school just did not get it. Even though I saturated them with info on FASD and my child in particular (tons of Dr's reports/etc), they still didn't know how to help him.

I can tell you that having him at home is HARD and he's still working on Kindergarten material BUT.....his emotional health is not suffering any more due to the stress of school.

That said, we are with a public charter school so he still gets speech, OT and RSP support in our home a few times a week. Without that, I don't think I could do it.

Remember our kiddos will learn differently than others. It will take them longer and require more patience than is humanly possible at times ;) But, they'll get there. You can always request an IEP through your school district and see what they offer you as far as services. You don't have to accept it. But at least you'd know what the "other side of the fence" looks like, yk? Good luck (((hugs)))

[AK_Mom4]

My 7 year old will learn something and then a week later not be able to tell me anything about it. I have a feeling some of it is my teaching but some of it might be a disability as well which maybe the school system would be better equipped to handle???

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

This really sounds like my FASD 8yo nephew. And, no, the school really doesn't get it here either. He goes to school all day and then his parents work with him 2-3 HOURS every day after school just to keep him at grade level (2nd). And sometimes things just "slip away" in his brain even then.

 

You may send them to school, but I think you will then have to plan on spending hours and hours re-teaching the material. It just takes SOOOO much more repetition to get things to stick.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would suggest that you post this question on the Special needs subforum as well.

[Rsegrwr]

WOW, thank you so much for the wealth of replies and information :) I guess I'm just defeated lately.....I feel like I have to keep going back over things and then we get behind on other stuff...it's just a never ending circle. I really do not want to send them to school but then sometimes I feel like my personality isn't doing them any good at home during school time either. And they get sooooo stressed and upset, it's crazy. We have to take so many breaks for everyone to regroup and calm down.....it makes me sad that they are so upset by school, it should be fun and enjoyable.

 

Thanks again for all the replies, I really appreciate those of you who have shared of your own special needs experiences and how the school system worked in those situations. Seems like it would be more of a headache and I definitely don't need that.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

What did the 8 year old learn to read with?

 

Based on that, I may have some ideas.

[littleWMN]

Fetal alcohol IS a disability.

 

I have 4 children ages 9, 6, 5, and 1. My middle two were adopted and my 5 year old has probable FASD. The retention thing is classic in FASD.

 

We have her in public school (preK) and she will be going to a special education classroom next year. She is on a 2 to 3 year old level cognitively. She will continue to receive ST at the school.

 

Our school is a brand new school in a nice area, and they have been helpful to us. She has a wonderful teacher that makes modifications for her. Her IEP team has been open to FASD b/c of our research and the testimonies from her teacher and therapists as well as three doctors. That's not to say it hasn't already been a headache though. I've had to really research and advocate (and she's only in preK). That said, it's still the best option for HER right now, as well as my other children. Homeschooling has ALWAYS been my first choice so I didn't come to this decision lightly. I also have researched and visited the two private special education schools in town as well.

 

My goal is to eventually homeschool her. My older two have always been homeschooled. She's very disruptive though (highly ADHD combined with the cognitive delay) and NOBODY learns when she is home. We will take it year by year.

 

I do have a link to a computer program that may help you if you send me a message. Keep in mind, FASD is a huge issue. Add in the RAD and trauma and they are bound for learning issues. Now my daughter has a low IQ (techically mildly mental retardation) but this is not the case with a lot of kids that were affected by alcohol. Even if they have high IQ's though, retention is almost always a problem. It's not you.

 

Have they had evaluations for OT? There may be sensory issues going on as well, which is also common.

 

YOU are doing great! :grouphug: Hang in there. We have daily struggles. Please PM me if you want someone to talk to. I'm not trying to push ps at all. I'm just telling you what decisions have worked for us. There are several on this board that have been helpful to me in dealing with FASD. Other people rarely get it.

Edited March 18, 2011 by littleWMN

[littleWMN]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

This really sounds like my FASD 8yo nephew. And, no, the school really doesn't get it here either. He goes to school all day and then his parents work with him 2-3 HOURS every day after school just to keep him at grade level (2nd). And sometimes things just "slip away" in his brain even then.

 

You may send them to school, but I think you will then have to plan on spending hours and hours re-teaching the material. It just takes SOOOO much more repetition to get things to stick.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

For *my* daughter (5), she is not a good candidate for a mainstream classroom right now for these reasons. Even the maximum amount of "resource" (classroom pull-outs) was not a good option for her. I do think that if you just place them in a regular classroom with no outside help, you will be redoing it all at home (most likely). Kids in her classroom are reading and she can't remember any colors on a day-to-day basis other than brown. She's learned the names of a few letters and can write N and O, but she can't always even name the letters she knows (which is about 3 of them on a good day). Same for shapes and even animals. She's still not even to the level of "parallel play" yet. She's delayed across the board, and though she loves school it does frustrate her. She would not thrive in a regular classroom (at this point) and would be immediately labeled as the problem kid (b/c of her inattention and impulsivity).

 

Also... I've been told that most FASD kids end up being homeschooled anyway b/c they simply can't keep up. PM me and I'll share whatever else I know.

 

ETA: The fact that they are reading at all is a huge success!! You've obviously done a good job with them. :)

Edited March 18, 2011 by littleWMN

[Koerarmoca]

:grouphug: Maybe consider hiring a tutor or doing Sylvan or something for extra help. I don't think PS is the best answer they may fall even further behind and or get lost in the system. My adopted niece (was born addicted to meth and probable fetal alcohol syndrome) had a really hard time with reading and my sil did a combination of Hs'ing, Sylvan & hooked on phonics She really took off on her reading & math in 3rd grade after a year of tutoring and she is reading a grade level ahead now and is at grade level in math.

[littleWMN]

:grouphug: Maybe consider hiring a tutor or doing Sylvan or something for extra help. I don't think PS is the best answer they may fall even further behind and or get lost in the system. My adopted niece (was born addicted to meth and probable fetal alcohol syndrome) had a really hard time with reading and my sil did a combination of Hs'ing, Sylvan & hooked on phonics She really took off on her reading & math in 3rd grade after a year of tutoring and she is reading a grade level ahead now and is at grade level in math.

 

I know I'm not the OP but thanks for sharing this. It's great to hear the success stories. :)

[Rsegrwr]

:grouphug:

 

What did the 8 year old learn to read with?

 

Based on that, I may have some ideas.

 

Okay, we started and finished Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons, we also did Before Five In a Row. That was when she was 4 and 5....we also did LeapFrog Letter Factory just about daily so she'd learn all the letters and sounds. When she turned 6 I started her on Explode the Code and Abeka Readers. We also did the 20/20 DVDs to teach her sight words, all 220 of them. So she should be reading...she learned her sight words over the summer, but now at 8 they are just GONE! She remembers about 1/2 of them....sad :( And we went through them EVERY single day...my older kids can attest to watching that DVD and then listening to 3 children do 20 flash cards each LOL Every time they learned 20 we'd move on to the next 20....and so on. Then at the end of each week we'd review all that we'd learned so we wouldn't forget the others.

 

Soooooo, maybe I've just overloaded her? My 6 year old retained a lot of it, and my 7 year old remembers all his sight words and reads without me noting long a's and e's.....etc, she still requires me to mark all of those and remind her of silent sounds...etc.

 

Thanks for offering to help with some ideas :) I'm open to just about anything!

[Rsegrwr]

Oh....duh we did Sing Spell Read Write too, they really enjoyed that program. That taught simple sounds, letters, shapes, colors...etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Okay, we started and finished Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons, we also did Before Five In a Row. That was when she was 4 and 5....we also did LeapFrog Letter Factory just about daily so she'd learn all the letters and sounds. When she turned 6 I started her on Explode the Code and Abeka Readers. We also did the 20/20 DVDs to teach her sight words, all 220 of them. So she should be reading...she learned her sight words over the summer, but now at 8 they are just GONE! She remembers about 1/2 of them....sad :( And we went through them EVERY single day...my older kids can attest to watching that DVD and then listening to 3 children do 20 flash cards each LOL Every time they learned 20 we'd move on to the next 20....and so on. Then at the end of each week we'd review all that we'd learned so we wouldn't forget the others.

 

Soooooo, maybe I've just overloaded her? My 6 year old retained a lot of it, and my 7 year old remembers all his sight words and reads without me noting long a's and e's.....etc, she still requires me to mark all of those and remind her of silent sounds...etc.

 

Thanks for offering to help with some ideas :) I'm open to just about anything!

 

It sounds like she just needs some more of that repetition on the DVDs. Does she enjoy it? You might set her up for some individual time with the DVD, maybe with a special stuffed toy or a snack so it doesn't seem like she's being singled out for punishment!

[ElizabethB]

Okay, we started and finished Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons, we also did Before Five In a Row. That was when she was 4 and 5....we also did LeapFrog Letter Factory just about daily so she'd learn all the letters and sounds. When she turned 6 I started her on Explode the Code and Abeka Readers. We also did the 20/20 DVDs to teach her sight words, all 220 of them. So she should be reading...she learned her sight words over the summer, but now at 8 they are just GONE! She remembers about 1/2 of them....sad :( And we went through them EVERY single day...my older kids can attest to watching that DVD and then listening to 3 children do 20 flash cards each LOL Every time they learned 20 we'd move on to the next 20....and so on. Then at the end of each week we'd review all that we'd learned so we wouldn't forget the others.

 

Soooooo, maybe I've just overloaded her? My 6 year old retained a lot of it, and my 7 year old remembers all his sight words and reads without me noting long a's and e's.....etc, she still requires me to mark all of those and remind her of silent sounds...etc.

 

Thanks for offering to help with some ideas :) I'm open to just about anything!

 

The 100 EZ lessons is good, and I love the leapfrog movies! ETC is phonics based and works for some students, but some start to guess from the layout. I like the phonics in ABeka, but there are more sight words in the program than I would like.

 

Teaching sight words actually make it harder to learn to read and to learn the phonics for some children, about 30 to 40% who are taught the sight words end up having problems, and it is especially problematic for someone with any underlying problems.

 

Here is why and how to teach all but 2 of the 220 Dolch words phonetically:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/sightwords.html

 

Nonsense words help fix the problems caused by teaching the sight words. My phonics game makes both real and nonsense words and is a fun way to get in extra repetitions. It is free.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

 

I would try out my phonics lessons with her. If they are too long, you can pause them halfway through and have her take a break, then finish.

 

Then, I would work through the program on my how to tutor page. It is designed for large groups of remedial students, but you can do it one on one. For one on one, you will not need both versions of Blend Phonics, just use the Blend Phonics reader.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/howtotutor.html

 

The only computer program/online program that I like that does not teach sight words is Read, Write, Type. It is not necessary, but it is a fun way to get in more repetition.

 

http://www.talkingfingers.com/

 

It takes a lot of repetition for many students.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Rsegrwr]

Thanks :) It's a good thing she forgot most of her sight words then LOL.....maybe that would have been more confusing for her. I'm so glad I taught them to my other 2 as well though....it makes reading so much less painful (for them and me). Abeka does have a lot of sight words....especially in their 1st levels. And WOW those stories are long, it takes a long time to mark all the long letter sounds. My 7 year old doesn't have to have them marked anymore, he can usually see what the word is after trying to sound it out if it doesn't work.

 

Thanks for all the links...I'll definitely check those out!!!!

[littleWMN]

Take a look at time4learning.com for supplimental phonics.

 

Do they struggle with retention in other areas too? You might look at www.teachtown.com as well.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Do they suffer from RAD?

(reactive attachment disorder)

 

I'm not an expert, and I've never dealt with this personally. However a local homeschooling family had two adopted kids with RAD. Both ended up in the system. Supposedly, those kids do better in a place where they are not expecting to be loved, and not expected to love back. One of the two kids was even placed in a special center where she lives all the time. The other is in public school.

[scrapbookbuzz]

As I was reading through your post and the responses

and I first want to say :grouphug:

 

You are NOT alone in this! While I do not have an FASD child, I do have one with special needs, and I'll tell you that ANY special needs kiddo is going to either need your full support at home OR your full support at school and THEN at home. It's easy to feel defeated when they're not retaining but this is not your fault. Their brains did not have a chance to develop properly and therefore it functions differently. There may be some things that brain will never retain. And some things will take a lot longer than the "neurotypical" (aka "normal" ) student. But again, it is not your fault. Nor is it theirs.

 

Be encouraged!

[jujsky]

Is your 7 yo the one with mild FAE? The knowing it one week and not knowing it the next is very, very common for FAE kids. I read a great book, Recognizing and Managing Children With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Effects: A Guidebook by Brenda McCreight. It put a lot of my son's issues into perspective for me.

 

As far as whether or not to put them in school, only you can make that decision. If you feel the school can give them more at this point in terms of education and/or you feel easing the pressure of educating them will allow you to focus more time on mothering them, then consider it. If you're just in a slump and frustrated (understandable - I've been there!) take a week off and reevaluate things.

 

Edited to add: As far as reading goes, it may click. A year ago I read a bunch of books on dyslexia, completely, totally convinced my son had it. Now he's reading like a pro. He's surpassed my daughter (a year younger, but she started reading CVC words when she was a young 3). We thought he was asleep when we went to check on him last night at 11:00, and he was still sitting up in bed, bleary-eyed because he "just had to find out what happens," in the book he was reading. Your kids might take off in that area. Also, math problems are very, very common with FAE kids because they have a difficult time with abstract concepts. We have my son enrolled at Kumon now twice/week. I know the kill & drill approach is often frowned upon, but he truly needs the constant repetition.

Edited March 19, 2011 by jujsky

[Rsegrwr]

Thanks again everyone :) Both the 7 and 8 year old show signs of RAD, but it's such a hard thing to diagnose without a therapist that is well versed in that disorder that we've not had an official diagnosis yet. I really would rather not have an official diagnosis on the books, I don't want it to follow them for the rest of their lives. My 7 year old already has RAD listed on his intake paperwork from the shelter, and that's bad enough. My 8 year old dd has it as well in certain ways.....she still hates to be hugged or held and will take an uncomfortable seat on the floor instead of sitting beside me or my husband on the couch. She's actually closer to my oldest dd, I guess the attachment between two sisters isn't as scary for her. My youngest came to us at 2 and had pretty much been in the system since his birth. He shows the least of the issues.....BUT he mimics a lot of what he sees older brother and sister do. He makes himself nervous when he's reading....etc and he'll cry at the drop of a hat.

 

I've actually tried the approach of letting them take the book and go sit somewhere quiet to read it, then come back to me once they have a line to read me....etc. That seems to work out okay with my 8 year old and my 6 year old but the 7 year old will just rip holes in the book or bend all the pages in to paper airplanes LOL

 

It's just overwhelming day in and day out to have people ask them to read something (the Bible in Sunday school) and they just can't. Or watching other children their age do things that mine can't and wondering if it's truly a disability hindering them or me LOL

 

Thank you all again for all the words of encouragement and for sharing your experiences, it really has helped :)

[ItsJustMe]

I really thought that when we brought our 3 adopted children home they'd fall right in to Home schooling and it would be a great transition, plus more time to bond. All three of them have some form of trauma, attachment disorder and mild fetal alcohol. I've tried since 2007 and it's just not working.

 

I can't say I speak from personal experience, but with a knowledge/background of FAS and attachment disorders, as well as working with children in the system and in the public school system. My guess is that they won't know any more than you do, and very likely know much less, blaming any problems (social or educationally) on you because of your previously homeschooling them. If you need a mental break, though, give it a shot and see how it works. You can always bring them back if it doesn't work. I wish I could be more positive, but with the double-whammy of FAS and attachment disorder, it's a tough road, and my heart goes out to you.

[Denisemomof4]

Thanks again everyone :) Both the 7 and 8 year old show signs of RAD, but it's such a hard thing to diagnose without a therapist that is well versed in that disorder that we've not had an official diagnosis yet. I really would rather not have an official diagnosis on the books, I don't want it to follow them for the rest of their lives. My 7 year old already has RAD listed on his intake paperwork from the shelter, and that's bad enough. My 8 year old dd has it as well in certain ways.....she still hates to be hugged or held and will take an uncomfortable seat on the floor instead of sitting beside me or my husband on the couch. She's actually closer to my oldest dd, I guess the attachment between two sisters isn't as scary for her. My youngest came to us at 2 and had pretty much been in the system since his birth. He shows the least of the issues.....BUT he mimics a lot of what he sees older brother and sister do. He makes himself nervous when he's reading....etc and he'll cry at the drop of a hat.

 

I've actually tried the approach of letting them take the book and go sit somewhere quiet to read it, then come back to me once they have a line to read me....etc. That seems to work out okay with my 8 year old and my 6 year old but the 7 year old will just rip holes in the book or bend all the pages in to paper airplanes LOL

 

It's just overwhelming day in and day out to have people ask them to read something (the Bible in Sunday school) and they just can't. Or watching other children their age do things that mine can't and wondering if it's truly a disability hindering them or me LOL

 

Thank you all again for all the words of encouragement and for sharing your experiences, it really has helped :)

 

My youngest has RAD or AD (attachment disorder) but I'm thinking it's more of inhibited RAD. It's TOUGH. I have finally decided that to save my sanity, I need to have her do online schooling,. Next year I'm only going to do math and spelling with her and for the rest she will be doing timeforlearning.com. I have homeschooled all of my kids but I just can't do it with her. It's so frustrating that it's amazing that I haven't plucked my brain out of my head yet to end my suffering! :svengo:

 

It's VERY common for RAD/AD kids not to show their teacher or parent what they actually do know, OR purposely write down the wrong answers. BUT, I know nothing at all abut FAS so if your children have that, it's likely you're learning with some sort of delay or issue. I know that even RAD/AD kids oftentimes have delays.

 

Have you done any research on RAD/AD? I think it would be so helpful for you. I've been on numerous online attachment support groups and have countless books. Educate yourself on how to deal with your kids issues and maybe it could help them heal better. At the moment I'm rereading When Love Is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas. I have many different authors.

 

One thing I want to suggest is that you rethink not wanting to diagnose your kids. Like I said, I belong to several online support groups. ALL of them advocate for getting a diagnosis EARLY in life, sometimes for no other reason that YOU may need it to help YOU at a later date. Kids with RAD/AD have SEVERE behavioral problems and the teen years can be very, very tough. (as if the younger years with these kids aren't!) I have decided that once I get through a serious issue I'm working on right now, I'm going to have my youngest undergo a full psychiatric evaluation so we can have a proper diagnosis. She just turned 8. Their diagnosis doesn't have to define who they are. Anyway, something to think about.

 

I have such relief now that I've made my decision to have my dd to Timeforlearning.com full time. I just can't take the torture anymore. It's only $20 per month! You can have the kids do the subjects at their level which is appropriate for them. My dd is in 2nd grade but she just finished 1st grade phonics. She is doing 2nd grade math and we have only dabbled in the other subjects. I just told her that I want her to do each subject daily.

 

Notice that she just started 2nd grade phonics online. That's because of all the games she's played since I started to school her. I'm exhausted. But she will catch up - she loves to do her online program.

 

For me, I will never put her in school. Ever. She lies through her teeth and keeping my other kids safe (which is mainly dd11 now as my boys are so much older) is a priority. She can't be trusted out of my eyesight and that's how I have had to live for 7 years - with her at my side Every Waking Moment. I have NO idea what would come out of her mouth in school. She comes up with some pretty wild stories! Also, I know that I am her calming force and I can recognize her stress cracks. I am always there to reel her in when necessary. RAD kids oftentimes can hold it together all day while at school and then they come home and completely break down. Sometimes I feel I need to put her in school just so *I* can have a break, but then I come to my senses and realize how much harder it would be to have her at school all day, away from me, with all kinds of freedom. It most definitely would set her up for failure.

 

I could NEVER handle parenting or teaching THREE children like this, though! You really need to decide what is best fo ryou........ I just thought I'd add my input.:grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

 

I've actually tried the approach of letting them take the book and go sit somewhere quiet to read it, then come back to me once they have a line to read me....etc. That seems to work out okay with my 8 year old and my 6 year old but the 7 year old will just rip holes in the book or bend all the pages in to paper airplanes LOL

 

 

 

that's what my 8 yo would do. She's not allowed to look at books unless she's within a few feet of me. I've learned my lesson!

 

I just want to say that no matter what decision you make, it doesn't have to be permanent. If you need to give school a try, do so. But if it doesn't work out, bring the child home. I do believe it would be best for the healing heart of your 7 yo to be home with you, but being a mom of a RAD kid myself, I can certainly understand your needing to send her to school!:grouphug:

[EthiopianFood]

I need to go to bed, so I'm going to make this quick. I hope I don't sound cryptic, I don't mean it that way. :)

 

As far as not wanting a diagnosis on the books, if that is the case, public school is not going to help your kids, IMHO. The school system doesn't understand kids who don't remember things. The classroom must keep moving on, whether your child understands it or not. If you think your kids are frustrated now, imagine starting out several grade levels behind, and the work only getting harder and harder without a chance to catch up. :( I believe my dn has mild FAE, and I have seen this with her. If it helps any, I have also seen her retention improve with age. She has come SO much further than I ever thought possible when she was little.

 

You mentioned that you used SSRW successfully. I believe I read somewhere (all the research blurs together at this point...) that FAS kids learn better through music/songs. This is absolutely something to expore. Also, (and this is only my opinion) if you can accept that they will forget things, it will be easier. Pick what is most important, and keep reviewing it. At some point, you might have to accept the fact that they may never catch up. It is when you do this that you can stress less, and just be proud of who they are, where they are at. Worrying will never, ever make them remember/understand/whatever better. They will achieve THEIR best (whatever that is for THEM) in a learning environment that works around their weaknesses, and builds up their strengths. Another opinion that I have developed over the years is that, with these kids especially, finding something they are good at is SO important. It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't matter if it is useful. Just find SOMETHING they can be proud of every day, something they can be good at in school. It doesn't matter if it's a traditional school subject. It just needs to become an important subject in YOUR homeschool.

 

So much for being brief. LOL I've just had so many years of thinking about this stuff. I hope you figure out what to do. FAS is not something that is healed. They can't grow out of it. The symptoms can only be managed. It is literally brain damage. Doing the "right thing" will not fix it. At the same time, these kids have SO MUCH TO OFFER. They just need to be in an academic environment where they are seen as achievers, not kids who can't keep up with what is "normal."