1bassoon Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 and knew that you only had another month or two to pour into your family, what would you do? What would you change? Just got back from my friend's funeral - a homeschooling mom of 5, with 2 graduated. She had been sick for a little while (about 6 weeks), but her actual passing was a shock. Now, I know this is a strange question - obviously, if I knew I would die on x and such day, I would pitch science, math, etc out the window and spend 2 months making memories. The kids could get their academics later. But I'm challenging myself - what are some things I can change now, because really, the time is precious? Is this making sense? Or am I just an emotional wreck today? Thanks for humoring me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 My son is going through a growth spurt. Dh let him stay up way too late last night to watch a movie together. Ds is a zombie today. I let him go to bed and read and told him I wouldn't wake him if he fell asleep. I told dh no more late night movies, but really I don't care. Time together is precious. We moved back to a state I swore I would never live in again. We wanted to be back close to my parents and allow ds to have the quality time with them while they are here, they adore each other. Turns out the decision has been beneficial for all, even though I can't wear my flips flops outside in February. In the last year my dad has been hospitalized twice. I've seen my high school best friend's brother die at 45, a former friend from church die at 47, and another former church friend die at 37. Life is precious, time together even more so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 obviously, if I knew I would die on x and such day, I would pitch science, math, etc out the window and spend 2 months making memories. The kids could get their academics later. That was my first thought. As a self-proclaimed slacker, I never have a problem ditching school for sun, snow, company or a spontaneous trip. Ditch every now and then and do something fun. Believe me, your kids will remember it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 You are probably an emotional wreck, and that makes sense. What a horrible tragedy, and I am so sorry to hear of your friend's passing. :grouphug: I went through this feeling in September, the closest person in the world to me died, and I knew my life would never be the same. And I decided (after crying and living in denial for many weeks) that something good had to come out of it. So I have tried to live more like I would if I had less time...and I may, who knows? The main thing I am really trying to work on is just being kind. That sounds so simple, but it isn't. And I am talking about with my immediate family. I have tried to be less grouchy when DH gets home, to ask about his day before complaining about mine, to stop what I am doing and acknowledge him (and hopefully give a kiss) when he walks through the door. Again, sounds simple, but not something I have always been good at. :( And with the kids, I am trying to smile more, laugh more, and use harsh words less...if I feel like I want to yell or I am losing it, I just say, "let's go turn on some music!" We have been listening to a lot of 70s and 80s CDs and dancing around the kitchen. :lol: But that works for me, and they think it is hilarious, too (and they know the words to some songs that are probably a bit questionable now that I think about it....:D). I don't want them to look back on their childhood and remember a lot of yelling, I know what that is like. I have to work at this daily, and it is harder some days than I care to admit, but I can tell that it is already changing our family for the better. Mama's attitude can really affect everyone's attitude, ya know? DH has noticed and it has made things even better between us, I think we had lost some of that while having a young family. So, that is my one little change, for now. Have some more things I need to work on. ;) Again, I am sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cshell Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 You make total sense!!:001_smile: I think we all get a little too caught up in school, books, & education.... It is really easy to lose sight of what is truly important & lasting! Only the things that count for eternity....REALLY matter! I was challenged the other day to simply make a list of things you want to accomplish during your day...the "important " things.... -Hugs with your husband, reading stories to your kiddos, phone call to Mom, reading your Bible,etc..... Make sure you do those things 1st & then on to school etc..... The school will be there when your done with these more " important" things!! Life is precious & we all need to make sure we have our priorities in order. Not one of us is promised another day. You will never regret taking time for the really "important" things in your life!!:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 and knew that you only had another month or two to pour into your family, what would you do? What would you change? Just got back from my friend's funeral - a homeschooling mom of 5, with 2 graduated. She had been sick for a little while (about 6 weeks), but her actual passing was a shock. Now, I know this is a strange question - obviously, if I knew I would die on x and such day, I would pitch science, math, etc out the window and spend 2 months making memories. The kids could get their academics later. But I'm challenging myself - what are some things I can change now, because really, the time is precious? Is this making sense? Or am I just an emotional wreck today? Thanks for humoring me. I'm so sorry about your friend. :grouphug: For me...I would love to be able to write a letter to my grand-daughter and leave letters for each of my children and husband. I would want them to know how dear they were to me. I tell them all the time, but just in case. Each time I talk to my husband and children on the phone I tell them I love them. I would want all my kids home for a visit asap. I would also ditch all school and have as many meaningful conversations as possible. They would remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'm sorry about your friend. I ditto the letter writing. In fact, I have a notebook for each of my kids that I write letters to them- sometimes gushing for pages about how much I love them, sometimes telling them things they've done that are cute or that I'm proud of them for. My husband knows to give them these notebooks if something were to happen to me. And if it doesn't, I'll give them to them at some point. Maybe graduation or when they move out or something. Although I would let them read them when they're teens- I wouldn't let them have physically have them until they're practically adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 BTDT already, though obviously I survived. I wrote letters for DH and each of the childen including the baby that I wasn't supposed to live to raise. I made sure that I had a good porfolio and gradebook put together for dd because dh would have had to enroll her in the private school across the street. I put away "feminine" supplies for dd and wrote another letter specifically pertaining to that so she would be able to handle it when the time came and dh wouldn't be blind sided. I put together scrapbooks for each child, had an outfit for the burial dry cleaned and labeled so my mom could just march to my closet and not think about it. I wrote out a "funeral" letter for both the director, our pastor, and dh detailing how I didn't want my life insurance money going to any big, expensive funeral but instead, put aside for the children. Since I couldn't sleep at night, but was still somewhat energetic, I spent a lot of night hours cleaning, organizing, etc. for Dh. I just tried to make it as easy for them immediately following my death as possible. I even froze some casseroles and what not so he'd have things to pop into the oven and not have to think about cooking. I also made up a chest with my wedding dress and other items from our wedding for dd. My mom and sister, who would have been helping with childcare, were given complete medical histories for each child, lists of who likes what, etc. I never intended for dh to read those letters until after I was gone. He found them and read them a few days after they were written. It was a difficult time to say the least. I thought I destroyed them after our miracle occurred and I came home from the hospital with a healthy baby and only minor complications. But, apparently it was overlooked. Dh gave dd hers when she turned 18. I have mixed emotions about his desire to preserve the letters. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 My mother's cousin died suddenly last week. Went on vacation with her mother to FL and just died in her sleep. She was 53yo. I worked with her through high school and college sitting in a room keying numbers into a computer at a hospital. We talked a lot through those years. We haven't been close since but always saw each other at weddings and showers. I saw so many people I used to work with at her funeral. It was very strange to see them all after 20 years. I can't help but remember her now and the talks we had. She was not that much older than I am now and the suddenness was shocking...no illness or health problems. She will not see her daughter get married next year or hold her new grandson again. I know that I am more inclined to enjoy my time with my kids and not sweat the small stuff as much. Who knows when my time will come. I just hope to leave good memories behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 For me...I would love to be able to write a letter to my grand-daughter and leave letters for each of my children and husband. I would want them to know how dear they were to me. I tell them all the time, but just in case. I have been the recipient of one of those letters. My Mum wrote one for each of us before a big world trip. She came home from that one and was planning another trip when she died. She had planned to write new letters but had not done it yet. The letter is very precious to me, even though some of the stuff she said was rather outdated, like she hoped one day I'd change my mind about not wanting children, by the time she died I had a 7 month old :D With the fact in mind that both my parents were dead in their 40's, Dad from cancer and Mum in an accident, I have always lived life to be sure that I will not have regrets about things not done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I would hurry up on making my will & designating a guardian for my kids. I've also been thinking of this lately-- recently was travelling & visited my grandparents' graves. (I wish we had a smilie for tears.) Treasure each day & each moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I would hurry up on making my will & designating a guardian for my kids. I've also been thinking of this lately-- recently was travelling & visited my grandparents' graves. (I wish we had a smilie for tears.) Treasure each day & each moment. :grouphug::grouphug: I was just talking with dh about this tonight. We have two special needs kiddos and are pretty much on our own raising them. I don't know what would happen to them if we died. Here is your tears smilie. :crying: :crying: sniff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I was just talking with dh about this tonight. We have two special needs kiddos and are pretty much on our own raising them. I don't know what would happen to them if we died. Here is your tears smilie. :crying: :crying: sniff. :grouphug::grouphug: I would love them like my own. :grouphug::grouphug: I wish we lived closer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I would love them like my own. :grouphug::grouphug: I wish we lived closer. Ay Karyn, you are seriously going to make me cry! You are too good! :crying: :grouphug: :grouphug: If we were dead you could live in our house! lol It's small but warm and close to the beach. It does tend to get a little windy here though in the summers. You could do like the Canadians that visit do and live here in the winter and in Canada the rest of the year. Our house is paid for. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Ay Karyn, you are seriously going to make me cry! You are too good! :crying: :grouphug: :grouphug: If we were dead you could live in our house! lol It's small but warm and close to the beach. It does tend to get a little windy here though in the summers. You could do like the Canadians that visit do and live here in the winter and in Canada the rest of the year. Our house is paid for. :) We all need assurance that our kids will be loved and treasured when we're gone. I really would do it you know. :grouphug: But that's not going to happen because we're all going to be raptured together! Yup. That's the plan! No tears of sadness, just tears of JOY! Wouldn't that be something, for all of us to be taken up with our kids, never having to leave them. That's what I'm hoping for sister! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 But that's not going to happen because we're all going to be raptured together! Yup. That's the plan! No tears of sadness, just tears of JOY! Wouldn't that be something, for all of us to be taken up with our kids, never having to leave them. That's what I'm hoping for sister! :D And you don't need to wait long http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/judgment/judgment.html :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 (edited) We all need assurance that our kids will be loved and treasured when we're gone. I really would do it you know. :grouphug: But that's not going to happen because we're all going to be raptured together! Yup. That's the plan! No tears of sadness, just tears of JOY! Wouldn't that be something, for all of us to be taken up with our kids, never having to leave them. That's what I'm hoping for sister! :D Girl that is always my prayer too! That would be amazing. God bless you for your kind heart! :grouphug: Edited March 4, 2011 by Ibbygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 And you don't need to wait long http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/judgment/judgment.html :tongue_smilie: Too funny! I get a kick out of the date predictions. The topic is just dropped after it hasn't happened. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 And you don't need to wait long http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/judgment/judgment.html :tongue_smilie: You can't believe everything you read. lol The Bible says NOBODY knows the day or the hour and besides The Rapture of the Church is not the Second Coming of Christ. It is two separate events. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Too funny! I get a kick out of the date predictions. The topic is just dropped after it hasn't happened. :lol: LOL I know. I have an acquaintance whose brother is always making predictions. Needless to say he is ALWAYS wrong. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda1951 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I would make sure my DH understood that DD would finish high school , not to waste too much time grieving. I would maybe notify some friends. Otherwise I do not think I would change my life much except talk to God and make a list of things DH would remember to do , his has a horrible memory. Make sure DD knows where the will etc all important papers are, bank account info etc. spend time with them and let them know I may not have been the most perfect wife or mom but that I do love them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 You can't believe everything you read. lol The Bible says NOBODY knows the day or the hour and besides The Rapture of the Church is not the Second Coming of Christ. It is two separate events. :) Being an athiest, I don't believe ANYTHING I read on this topic ;) I just thought it was funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Being an athiest, I don't believe ANYTHING I read on this topic ;)I just thought it was funny. It was funny. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Because of some life circumstances I've thought about this alot. I'd just be with them. Lots of hugging and kissing and laughing and talking. I'd also like to video myself telling them how much I love each of them to pull out later and remember me by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I've already got a general plan in place. I've spoken with both my parents and my husband and they have agreed that the kids would live with my parents during the week and go to private school with some of the money from my life insurance and then spend the weekends with their father. The life insurance proceeds should be enough that it would also enable my husband to do fun things with the kids and hire a housekeeper. If I were to die, I pray that this plan does actually happen because my husband works very long days and while he is a great father, he could never meet all my kids' needs on his own. The idea that he would try to especially haunts me because he already had an 8 year old daughter when we married and the way he had been raising her is enough to make my toes curl. I couldn't bear to think of that happening to my kids. My mother could fill my place, though, and do it well. And then they would still have their father who would shower them with love on the weekends. So, anyway, if I found I was dying, I hope I'd have the energy to research and visit schools over by my parents' house to try and find a good fit for my kids. I should probably at least do some preliminary research in that area now, but I just don't have the energy for it. Maybe this all sounds a little neurotic :001_smile:, but I've been chronically ill for a number of years and sometimes I feel my body is so weak that I wouldn't survive a major illness. Also, breast cancer runs rampant on my mom's side of the family. She is a survivor, but 2 of her 3 sisters died from it. Better yet, I hope nothing happens and I can just keep being with my family. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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