Peri Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I just feel so turned inside out. Part of me is saying: you did the right thing ... you just can't go back. The other part of me is saying: What in the world are you doing?! I just can't go back but I so badly fear that this transitional stage will last too long for anyone to tolerate. I keep praying for the patience to get through this but what I need is some confidence. I've just never adapted to change very well. I just need to talk to someone and I don't feel like I have someone to talk to that won't judge me and really be sensitive to my feelings. Thank you for letting me go on and on. I just needed to get it out somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 feel free to pm me. My divorce was final two weeks ago, but I left with the kids last May. I understand. And the transitional stage will not last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Bless your heart. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Divorce is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Oh Peri!!!! I'm so so sorry honey. :crying: :grouphug: :grouphug: I pray you get a lot of support and find time for yourself. I know there are several ladies on these boards who have gone through what you're going through. Know you're not alone and nothing lasts forever. Sending you tons of cyberhugs and chocolate. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I just feel so turned inside out. Part of me is saying: you did the right thing ... you just can't go back. The other part of me is saying: What in the world are you doing?! I just can't go back but I so badly fear that this transitional stage will last too long for anyone to tolerate. I keep praying for the patience to get through this but what I need is some confidence. I've just never adapted to change very well. I just need to talk to someone and I don't feel like I have someone to talk to that won't judge me and really be sensitive to my feelings. Thank you for letting me go on and on. I just needed to get it out somehow. There are some good books, and places for support and information. If you can find a DivorceCare group nearby, many thousands of people find tremendous help at them. I did. (My kids did, too). It is a terribly stressful, awful, gut wrenching mourning. I didn't mourn my marriage; in my case, I mourned the reality that I never had one. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. If your divorce involves adultery, addiciton or abuse and your transition stage confusion is part of that, I'm happy to talk in PM as a BTDT. Edited to add a Divorce Care link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You'll get through it. I know that it's hard. And from what I remember, you're doing this for the safety of yourself and your children. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigdogs29906 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: It is SO hard! My husband is leaving next week. It is a miserable time. Feel free to PM anytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weat4 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: So very sorry for your (and your kids') pain and loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug: I'm very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I am so sorry for your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 It does get better. Be good to yourself; divorce is harder to deal with than it looks. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alexis121 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 See your doctor regularly. Don’t neglect your regular check-ups. If you feel sick, see a doctor during the first part of your illness so that you may shorten the time to recover. Take vitamins. Ask your health care provider to recommend supplements that may help your body deal with the stress. Get regular exercise. Choose an exercise your doctor feels is appropriate and do it regularly. Walking, cycling, or swimming are especially good because you can enjoy the outside while you exercise. Aerobic activity is a great stress reliever. Don’t start bad habits. Some people find themselves tempted to drink, smoke, or do recreational drugs to deal with the stress. Don’t give into temptation. You have enough to deal with without worrying about a possible addiction. Get plenty of sleep. Make sure you keep your bedroom dark and the temperature cool. If your pillow needs changing, buy a new one. Take a hot bath before bed to relax. Don’t exercise late in the evenings. Don’t watch disturbing television programs. If you need help sleeping, ask your doctor about a sleep aid. Getting sufficient rest will make you stronger to deal your life changes. Eat a good diet. Don’t forget to eat. People may laugh at that one. (Who could forget to eat?) But it’s easy to be stressed and forget that you’ve missed lunch, or been too busy for breakfast. Eat wholesome foods regularly. Keep healthy snacks on hand. Drink plenty of water or juice. Let off steam. If you feel anxiety or anger, find a safe way to let off steam. Cry. Scream into a pillow if you are worried about the neighbors. Buy a punching bag. Some people have bought a foam bat in the toy department and used it to beat the couch! Don’t hold anger inside or it can turn into depression. Change your scenery. Move the furniture around, try a new paint color, buy new curtains. Do something to change your environment. A new life after divorce means you are free to change your surroundings, too. If you are limited on changing your interior, then at least get out and take time to view nature. Go visit the park and watch the children play. Visit an art gallery. A change of scenery can be very good for stress. Practice good hygiene. See your dentist. Shower daily. Get regular haircuts. Change your clothes regularly. These may seem like common sense but many people neglect themselves during stressful periods. Neglecting hygiene may cause physical illness or depression.:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I remember when my parents divorced (I was 18) it seemed like that transitional period lasted forever. But, in reality, it was a learning and growing and healing time for all of us. It does end, you move on and establish a new life, and one day, you find yourself breathing easier and realize that you ARE better off than being in an unhealthy situation. You may not be as financially secure or you may feel stressed in other ways, but the peace that comes from not being under constant emotional turmoil is completely worth it. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 so very sorry for your pain. I'm close to Nashville too. Do you have a good church to attend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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