not sure this is for me any more

[dm379]

How do you know when homeschooling just isn't working? When is it time to give up, admit defeat and put the kids in ps?

[mariposa]

Sorry, I can't answer your question, but I have been asking myself that too. The only thing I can think of is what I have done myself - ask yourself why you started homeschooling to begin with. Have any of those reasons changed? What is it that makes you doubt if this is "for you"?

I know that has helped me as I think this through, and I am very sure that you are not alone - it's a very challenging, hard thing to do!

Sarah

[Keniki]

What is it that makes you doubt if this is "for you"?

 

 

 

This was what I was wondering. Maybe if you could share a few more details, we could help you find other solutions. FWIW, this is a homeschool board, and most of us aren't going to encourage you to put your children in public school. ;)

[fairfarmhand]

I asked myself...Would my life be different good or different bad if I switched.

 

I came to the conclusion that it would be different bad. My dd would still clash with us. She would still be mouthy. She would still want her own way. But she would see lots of other kids who didn't have the standards that our family has and be tempted to be like them. The stress would be gone out of all day and crammed into after school and weekends.

 

We would still have a couple hours of work to do after school with homework and projects.

 

We would have to be home at certain times, and could only take vacations at certain times.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

How do you know when homeschooling just isn't working? When is it time to give up, admit defeat and put the kids in ps?

 

 

When I look at the school and realize that what my child could get there would be better for them than what they're getting at home, I will send them there. I wouldn't consider it defeat.

 

I've always said that I homeschool because it is the best educational environment for each of my children. Last year, when I realized it was no longer the best for my dd (now high school age), I put her in a wonderful private school and she's thriving. I still have two dc at home. There may come a time when going to a school is the best thing for them. If and when that happens, they will go to school, and I won't bat an eyelash. Until then, they are thriving at home. It's still the best thing for them.

 

Look at your child, at yourself, and at your current family situation. Look carefully at your public school, and at any private schools that may be a possibility. Carefully evaluate what you can do to realistically make home the best option. If it isn't, that doesn't mean you're a failure, or that you've lost any sort of race or battle. It just means that now is not the time, or these aren't the best circumstances, for homeschooling. Don't make an emotional, rash decision. Take time to figure out what's best.

 

You are a good mom who wants what's best for your child, and your family. That is true whether you homeschool or send your child to school.

[Retired]

I asked myself...Would my life be different good or different bad if I switched.

 

I came to the conclusion that it would be different bad. My dd would still clash with us. She would still be mouthy. She would still want her own way. But she would see lots of other kids who didn't have the standards that our family has and be tempted to be like them. The stress would be gone out of all day and crammed into after school and weekends.

 

We would still have a couple hours of work to do after school with homework and projects.

 

We would have to be home at certain times, and could only take vacations at certain times.

 

:iagree: this is what I had to figure out during the teen years the peer influence of PS would only make the parent/child relationship more contentious

 

I still have my days I look up the schools in the area and plan on "my escape":D

[Plucky]

Do a pro and con list about the alternatives. I don't homeschool for myself, I do it for my kids. I've sent one to part-time ps and another to private school so I do take the child into account. You might just need a week off.

[Mejane]

I would assess how my kids are doing academically in conjunction with how the parent/child relationship is faring. Homeschooling is important, but I prefer to be my children's mother first, teacher second. If I felt our relationship was suffering, I'd consider ps. I would consider ps if I had a child who fought me constantly. Some kids really do perform better for others. I'd also consider ps if my child really wanted to go and the school was excellent.

 

There are many variables, and only you know what's best for your family.

[bettyandbob]

It shouldn't be an "admitting defeat" thing. The reason you home school is to meet your dc and your family's needs. That could be because your dc needs more academic stimulation, academic remediation, religious education, medical needs, family flexibility.

 

Ask yourself, why you got into homeschool. Ask yourself is that still the reason you homeschool. What is happening to meet your homeschool reasons.

 

If you can't meet your purpose for homeschooling and can see no way to make adjustments to meet your purpose, then consider whether a traditional school environment would suit your family's needs better. The other thing to consider is if your purposes for homeschooling and expectations of homeschooling are reasonable considering your dc and your family's situation.

 

I think the times we most flounder is when we forget what we are trying to accomplish. Once you get that in focus you can better evaluate your homeschool and public school options. Whatever your decision, it is not defeat to put your dc in ps. However, getting perspective also helps some people to better focus how they approach homeschool.

[Laurie4b]

I would assess how my kids are doing academically in conjunction with how the parent/child relationship is faring. Homeschooling is important, but I prefer to be my children's mother first, teacher second. If I felt our relationship was suffering, I'd consider ps. I would consider ps if I had a child who fought me constantly. Some kids really do perform better for others. I'd also consider ps if my child really wanted to go and the school was excellent.

 

There are many variables, and only you know what's best for your family.

 

:iagree::iagree: especially with the bolded part.

 

The other thing that I think should cause a parent to throw in the towel is if their children really aren't learning, especially if that is because the parent does not, for whatever reason, keep up with what is needed. (I'm not talking about getting behind in an ideal plan, but parents who let the three R's slide to the point where the child really isn't getting an optimal education.) There can be reasons beyond a parent's control for this; for instance, in the case of illness, depression, etc.

[AuntieM]

Ah, February. The veterans know what I mean. February is the most difficult month of the home schooling year. Not a one goes by without me calling every private school in town to check tuition rates and admission requirements.

 

As many have said, it's time to go back and look at your Why We Choose to Home School essay. Didn't write one? Try to do it now. If your reasons no longer apply, or if you can't think of any today, it might be time for a change. More years than not, rereading our statement (and dh and I did actually sit down and write one at the beginning years ago) reminded us of the why's.

 

Second, I start praying again over all the options. Prior to this year, I have not been granted a sense of peace about the alternatives. I have to school the kids according to where God grants peace to my soul in pursuing that option.

 

But don't make any decisions in February. ;)

[Guest CarolineUK]

Ah, February. The veterans know what I mean. February is the most difficult month of the home schooling year. Not a one goes by without me calling every private school in town to check tuition rates and admission requirements.

 

...

 

But don't make any decisions in February. ;)

 

Brilliant! Cool, calm and collected common sense.

 

And very amusing too, you've cheered up my evening :001_smile:,

[In the Rain]

I agree about not making decisions in February. :D I also really agree with the quote below. Monday was a VERY challenging day for us. My 9yo has been having some issues lately. I pondered what enrolling her in ps would be like, and realized what I bolded below.

 

That said, I do have a friend who put one of her kids in ps to help their relationship, and it is working out great.

 

I asked myself...Would my life be different good or different bad if I switched.

 

I came to the conclusion that it would be different bad. My dd would still clash with us. She would still be mouthy. She would still want her own way. But she would see lots of other kids who didn't have the standards that our family has and be tempted to be like them. The stress would be gone out of all day and crammed into after school and weekends.

 

We would still have a couple hours of work to do after school with homework and projects.

 

We would have to be home at certain times, and could only take vacations at certain times.

[Pretty in Pink]

Ah, February. The veterans know what I mean. February is the most difficult month of the home schooling year. Not a one goes by without me calling every private school in town to check tuition rates and admission requirements.

 

As many have said, it's time to go back and look at your Why We Choose to Home School essay. Didn't write one? Try to do it now. If your reasons no longer apply, or if you can't think of any today, it might be time for a change. More years than not, rereading our statement (and dh and I did actually sit down and write one at the beginning years ago) reminded us of the why's.

 

Second, I start praying again over all the options. Prior to this year, I have not been granted a sense of peace about the alternatives. I have to school the kids according to where God grants peace to my soul in pursuing that option.

 

But don't make any decisions in February. ;)

 

Thank you for this!

[Plucky]

Ah, February. The veterans know what I mean. February is the most difficult month of the home schooling year. Not a one goes by without me calling every private school in town to check tuition rates and admission requirements.

 

As many have said, it's time to go back and look at your Why We Choose to Home School essay. Didn't write one? Try to do it now. If your reasons no longer apply, or if you can't think of any today, it might be time for a change. More years than not, rereading our statement (and dh and I did actually sit down and write one at the beginning years ago) reminded us of the why's.

 

Second, I start praying again over all the options. Prior to this year, I have not been granted a sense of peace about the alternatives. I have to school the kids according to where God grants peace to my soul in pursuing that option.

 

But don't make any decisions in February. ;)

 

:iagree:

[DianeW88]

January is the stinky month of the year for me. By February, we're finally starting to get back in the groove. But yes.....DON'T decide anything in the dead middle of winter. If I did that, I'd be on a beach in Tahiti right now with a giant stack of trashy novels and a cool, fruity drink in a hollowed out pineapple....COMPLETELY alone. :D

[Plucky]

January is the stinky month of the year for me. By February, we're finally starting to get back in the groove. But yes.....DON'T decide anything in the dead middle of winter. If I did that, I'd be on a beach in Tahiti right now with a giant stack of trashy novels and a cool, fruity drink in a hollowed out pineapple....COMPLETELY alone. :D

 

Yep, I shared the title of this thread with dh and he laughed. If it was about us, those kids would all be in school and we'd be lunching and making love most afternoons. :lol:

[KrissiK]

When I was teaching school February was always a rotten month. So, I agree, don't make decisions in February.

 

Back to the original question, I ask that of myself a lot. I struggle with so many things in general, so it's difficult for me to determine if changing my circumstances will make a difference or if it's just me. KWIM?

[tex-mex]

Ah, February. The veterans know what I mean. February is the most difficult month of the home schooling year. Not a one goes by without me calling every private school in town to check tuition rates and admission requirements.

 

As many have said, it's time to go back and look at your Why We Choose to Home School essay. Didn't write one? Try to do it now. If your reasons no longer apply, or if you can't think of any today, it might be time for a change. More years than not, rereading our statement (and dh and I did actually sit down and write one at the beginning years ago) reminded us of the why's.

 

Second, I start praying again over all the options. Prior to this year, I have not been granted a sense of peace about the alternatives. I have to school the kids according to where God grants peace to my soul in pursuing that option.

 

But don't make any decisions in February. ;)

:iagree: If it helps, when I was a full-time schoolteacher, Jan/Feb were the toughest months for me in the classroom. LOL Ah, the memories. :D I too would toss and turn in my sleep dreading going to work with the challenge of teaching ALL of those students. It is hard. By Spring Break, it got better and then before you know it, summer is around the corner and we all were looking forward to summer vacation! Whooooo-hooooo! ;)

 

After having taught since the early 80s as a teacher and now homeschooling for the last 6 years, I laugh over it. It seems like every year I teach homeschooling is like being a "first year" teacher and grasping for ideas for a smooth new academic year. We all get so excited in Aug/Sept and begin the year with fresh ideas and hopes. This is "blech" Winter season for us all -- teachers and homeschoolers. You fret over your well laid plans and groan over gaps in academics. Most times, you just need a break for your sanity. And then begin again. But you know what? The child (or student) will be fine. Life will not come to an end. You can do this. We've all been there. :grouphug: