ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 We are withdrawing our dd from public school as of February 10th. In our state, a letter of notification must be submitted to the school. Based on past experience, I do not want to do this face-to-face (and don't have to, legally). I know that they will argue and cajole, and basically push my patience to the limit; they did the same thing when we wanted to delay a certain evaluation until after the summer. It was terrible, and I do NOT want to repeat it. My plan was to have her simply continue attending like nothing was going on, including attending a field trip on Feb. 9th. Then I would send a certified letter on Feb. 10th, notifying them of the withdrawal. However, my dd was sick with the flu last week and yesterday, and is being FLOODED with make-up work. Now they want her to stay after school one day next week to take two district-mandated (not state) tests in math and reading. This is utterly pointless, and pretty stupid in my opinion. My kid has been sick for a week, and is struggling and falling behind academically, but you want to assess her learning at the end of a seven hour day, when she's tired and starving because you feed her lunch at 10:30am? :001_huh: No thanks. So, should I go ahead and inform the teacher that we will be withdrawing dd, and give her the final date? I'd still send a letter to the school, but that will give them a week to give me a hard time about our decision. The other option is to simply schedule the make-up testing for next Friday, and withdraw her on Thursday. Part of me feels that I should give the teacher a heads-up, even if only a day in advance, so that she can send home any special work and say goodbye. But, like I said above, I know the school and the administration, and I know they will go out of their way to give me a hard time about our decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I would go with the route that is going to cause you and your daughter the least amount of stress. It would appear there is no good reason for her take a test at the end of the school day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 How do they give you a hard time, exactly? I mean, how do they contact you? Do you expect they will call? Write a note? Assault you in the halls? (Just kidding) I'd go ahead and tell the teacher via a note, and inform the school. Tell the teacher in the letter that you see no point in the tests and do not want your child taking them. I wouldn't worry about making up any of the work, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 When I withdrew my DD (she was in high school), I just went to the front office of the school, and withdrew her. No one knew ahead of time it was being done (not even DD). It took about an hour to check all of her books in, and get her certified grades (she was enrolling in a private school, so we needed that). I did all of our homeschool paperwork via mail. Our district has all of the forms on their website, and I just printed them out and mailed them in. I did receive a packet of information regarding the hs laws for our state shortly after that, but no one called or tried to pressure me into changing my mind. I wouldn't do 'business as usual' with your DD if you have no intention of leaving her in the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 How do they give you a hard time, exactly? I mean, how do they contact you? Do you expect they will call? Write a note? Assault you in the halls? (Just kidding) I'd go ahead and tell the teacher via a note, and inform the school. Tell the teacher in the letter that you see no point in the tests and do not want your child taking them. I wouldn't worry about making up any of the work, either. They will call, I have no doubt. Of course, I can simply refuse to answer, but I also don't want negative things being said to my dd about homeschooling. She is currently excited about it. I also expect a note and/or an email. Since I usually see her teacher at afternoon pick-up, and she and I attended college together, I expect her to say something then as well. I realize this seems paranoid, lol, but I spent over an hour in a windowless conference room with these people, including the principal, who kept glaring at me with crossed arms and arguing about our decision to delay the language evaluation by 3 months. In retrospect, I should have simply walked out of the meeting, but I didn't want to be That Parent, you know? I tend to be a rule-follower, and as a former teacher myself, I gave them more leeway at the time than I would now that they have failed my dd so miserably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I'm wondering if it would be beneficial for you to send the letter now, rather than wait until the 10th? Not intending to add to your stress, but would this help to alleviate some? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Is there a reason to wait?? (other than the courtesy of letting the teacher know?) I see no reason to delay... Do you mean delay withdrawing her? That is at my dh's request. We prepaid for a field trip, and he wants her to be able to go. I've got everything ready to go here at home, but agreed to wait for the trip. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 OK -- I see. Can you refuse the tests?? That would alleviate some stress... I would have to explain why. Perhaps the best thing all around is to simply bite the bullet and let her teacher know of our plans. I can include a statement in there about how we are confident this is the best decision for dd, and how we simply want her to enjoy her remaining time with her classmates. (That last bit makes it sound like she's dying, lol. Have to rethink that.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Well, I guess this is your first time to try out the old Homeschooler's Backbone! :D Practice smiling, nodding, and holding firm. Literally practice some phrases in the mirror--I know it sounds dumb! But it can really help. I think most homeschoolers have been in situations where they are asked to justify their decision to either pull their kids or just homeschool in general. You just suck it up--it's fine to be uncomfortable, but don't let that scare you from doing what is best. Given your new information, I'd just go ahead and tell the teacher not to schedule the tests because you are going to homeschool. You DO NOT have to justify anything. YOu don't have to talk long. You don't have to chit chat at all. Just be kind, pleasant, and brief. If your dd has had a good experience with the teacher (even if the school hasn't been good, iykwim), then by all means send her in the last day with a little gift. Is the day of the field trip her last day? Or is it the next day? You will want to give them a day to gather her things for her. She may hear some negative comments, but they probably won't be of the "Your mom is crazy for doing this" or "Homeschooling is awful!" type. It'll be more of the "Oh, we'll miss you!" type, and that's ok, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Now they want her to stay after school one day next week to take two district-mandated (not state) tests in math and reading. This is utterly pointless, and pretty stupid in my opinion. My kid has been sick for a week, and is struggling and falling behind academically, but you want to assess her learning at the end of a seven hour day, when she's tired and starving because you feed her lunch at 10:30am? So the testing sounds like the immediate problem that may interfere with your plans. How about if you keep to your plan and time frame about sending the withdrawal letter, but tell them you want to change the testing dates? I would tell the school what you wrote above (well, maybe not the 'utterly pointless and pretty stupid" part :001_smile: ), but stress that you think that testing your dd at the end of a seven hour day, when she is hungry and tired, after being sick for a week, and while attempting to catch up on her missed assignments, is not in your dd's best interest and won't accurately assess her academic abilities. Tell them your dd won't be staying after school to take the tests next week and they will need to schedule them for a future date. They won't like it, but you already expect that they won't like your choice to withdraw from the school anyway. They can't keep your dd after school unless you allow them to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 We are withdrawing our dd from public school as of February 10th. In our state, a letter of notification must be submitted to the school. Based on past experience, I do not want to do this face-to-face (and don't have to, legally). I know that they will argue and cajole, and basically push my patience to the limit; they did the same thing when we wanted to delay a certain evaluation until after the summer. It was terrible, and I do NOT want to repeat it. My plan was to have her simply continue attending like nothing was going on, including attending a field trip on Feb. 9th. Then I would send a certified letter on Feb. 10th, notifying them of the withdrawal. However, my dd was sick with the flu last week and yesterday, and is being FLOODED with make-up work. Now they want her to stay after school one day next week to take two district-mandated (not state) tests in math and reading. This is utterly pointless, and pretty stupid in my opinion. My kid has been sick for a week, and is struggling and falling behind academically, but you want to assess her learning at the end of a seven hour day, when she's tired and starving because you feed her lunch at 10:30am? :001_huh: No thanks. So, should I go ahead and inform the teacher that we will be withdrawing dd, and give her the final date? I'd still send a letter to the school, but that will give them a week to give me a hard time about our decision. The other option is to simply schedule the make-up testing for next Friday, and withdraw her on Thursday. Part of me feels that I should give the teacher a heads-up, even if only a day in advance, so that she can send home any special work and say goodbye. But, like I said above, I know the school and the administration, and I know they will go out of their way to give me a hard time about our decision. Regarding the bolded: "Sorry, next week won't work for us to have dd stay late for testing, and with her missing so much school and still not feeling 100%, she won't be turning in her make up work until next Friday." Only you know she won't be taking the test or turning in the work. Problem solved. :D Send the letter so it arrives Feb 10 when dd is home with you, as planned. Remember, The Hive has your back! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Is the test(s) scheduled for before you plan to leave? If she was staying in school, would you be able to delay the test(s)? I'm pretty sure you have to comply with all school regulations, including test taking, while she is still a student there. The only difference would be whether you would be able to delay the test even if she was staying. If you can't then I don't think she can not take the test, if her withdraw date is after the test date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Chris in VA, that's an excellent point about the backbone and the inevitable, "Why are you homeschooling?" challenge. I will work on my elevator speech. ;) Heather in AL, I like the way you think! Wording it that way gets them off my back, and I can send dd in with a note and a gift for her teacher on the 9th. The formal letter will arrive the next day. They'll be so busy on the trip that there won't be time for it to be a big issue, but there will still be a chance to say goodbye and gather any major items by the end of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 The tests are unit tests for their reading and math series. I would agree that she should take them if they were state-mandated tests, but they aren't. I already know she is seriously behind in math and above grade level in reading, so nothing they can show me would be a shocker there. I appreciate all the advice, btw. I'm so glad my friend suggested these forums to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 The tests are unit tests for their reading and math series. I would agree that she should take them if they were state-mandated tests, but they aren't. I already know she is seriously behind in math and above grade level in reading, so nothing they can show me would be a shocker there. I appreciate all the advice, btw. I'm so glad my friend suggested these forums to me! But does that mean that she doesn't have to do anything that isn't state-mandated? Homework? End of chapter tests? etc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Regarding the bolded: "Sorry, next week won't work for us to have dd stay late for testing, and with her missing so much school and still not feeling 100%, she won't be turning in her make up work until next Friday." Only you know she won't be taking the test or turning in the work. Problem solved. :D Send the letter so it arrives Feb 10 when dd is home with you, as planned. this is what I would do - basically blow them off. I would not be concerned about them harassing ME, but it would worry me what they would be saying to your dd once they find out. Also they might go ahead and insist on doing the testing anyway just to be jerks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 "My husband and I feel that homeschooling is best for our family at this time." "Thanks for your concern. I know you all work hard for the kids here at Main Street Elementary. However, my husband and I feel that it's best for our family to homeschool, at least for a while." "You are right, Jane will probably miss some of her friends, however, my husband and I have decided to homeschool her for the time being." "Homeschooling is right for our family at the moment." "Yes, homeschooling does have pros and cons. However, I, along with my husband, feel that it is the right fit for our family at this time." "Yes, we've filed the appropriate paperwork with the appropriate office. We appreciate all you've done for Jane. We will begin homeschooling on Thursday, we think it's the right choice for us just now." "Thank you for your offer of (testing, extra help, whatever). I don't think we need it at the moment, but I'll keep it in mind in case things change. For the moment, we're going to be homeschooling." Rinse and repeat. As many times as it takes. You don't have to give specific reasons. You don't have to justify your plans. You can validate their interest in your child, without accepting their arguments. You do not need to address their concerns. You don't need to get into it with them. Just continue to express the decision that you and your husband have made. Keep a smile, keep it brief and professional, don't burn any bridges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Here's something else to consider--can they prevent your child from going on the field trip if she hasn't taken the tests? I'm just trying to think along the lines of what would it be like if she wasn't leaving? What would she have to comply with? I'm still pretty sure that you/she needs to comply with school rules as long as she's a student there. And if that's the case, and she can't get out of the tests, maybe you should try to schedule the tests for Feb. 10th or later. Just curious & trying to think of the what-if. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "My husband and I feel that homeschooling is best for our family at this time." "Thanks for your concern. I know you all work hard for the kids here at Main Street Elementary. However, my husband and I feel that it's best for our family to homeschool, at least for a while." "You are right, Jane will probably miss some of her friends, however, my husband and I have decided to homeschool her for the time being." "Homeschooling is right for our family at the moment." "Yes, homeschooling does have pros and cons. However, I, along with my husband, feel that it is the right fit for our family at this time." "Yes, we've filed the appropriate paperwork with the appropriate office. We appreciate all you've done for Jane. We will begin homeschooling on Thursday, we think it's the right choice for us just now." "Thank you for your offer of (testing, extra help, whatever). I don't think we need it at the moment, but I'll keep it in mind in case things change. For the moment, we're going to be homeschooling." Rinse and repeat. As many times as it takes. You don't have to give specific reasons. You don't have to justify your plans. You can validate their interest in your child, without accepting their arguments. You do not need to address their concerns. You don't need to get into it with them. Just continue to express the decision that you and your husband have made. Keep a smile, keep it brief and professional, don't burn any bridges. I love these responses:D:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 We were in a similar situation with our son last year. We had decided to remove him and homeschool, but there was a big field trip that he had been looking forward to the next week; he missed a few days because of being sick; he had makeup work to do and had "projects" he was starting that he knew he wouldn't complete--some even included "groups" and he felt like he would be letting the group down when he knew he would be leaving. We finally decided the field trip was not worth staying in the school for another week. Our son was disappointed that he missed the field trip, but we took our own homeschool field trip instead. I would NOT say anything to the teacher ahead of time unless you are on very good terms with the teacher and totally trust how she handles things in the classroom. (In our situation, we did not, and we did not want anything being said to our son or to the class while we were there.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 I do not believe they will prohibit her from going on the field trip because she hasn't taken the test, or because I tell them in advance that will be her last day. However, there's always room to be shocked, so it seems to me that the best choice is to postpone the makeup test until Friday, Feb. 11. On the 9th, dd will bring a note and a gift to her teacher and will leave for good that afternoon. She is still doing her regular homework and classwork, and is probably one of the most easygoing children in the classroom. The sheer amount of makeup paperwork, though, is staggering to me, and would be even if I had no plans at all to homeschool her! I will stall on returning it. I know it's not graded work, and most of it is math, which will only serve to frustrate her. DD went through a tough time back in the fall, and became convinced for a long time that she couldn't do ANYTHING because of her struggles with math at school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 Ha! A previous poster mentioned submitting a packet of forms found on the district website, so I went to look and see if our district had any. It turns out that they actually have a department called "Office of Homeschooling". They do indeed have forms for parents who choose that option (in our state, joining a homeschool association is another option). I had to laugh when I saw the following questions on the form (bold mine): Please explain where instruction will take place in your home? Please list library facilities available for use by your child? Perhaps they need a homeschooled first grader to correct that punctuation for them! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Ha! A previous poster mentioned submitting a packet of forms found on the district website, so I went to look and see if our district had any. It turns out that they actually have a department called "Office of Homeschooling". They do indeed have forms for parents who choose that option (in our state, joining a homeschool association is another option). I had to laugh when I saw the following questions on the form (bold mine): Please explain where instruction will take place in your home? Please list library facilities available for use by your child? Perhaps they need a homeschooled first grader to correct that punctuation for them! LOL There is a good chance that you do not have to answer questions like that. What state are you in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 I live in SC. In our state, there are three options for homeschooling: 1) Submit your plans to your local board of education for their approval, and meet whatever requirements they give you. (This is the only option my district publicizes on its website, interestingly.) 2) Join the state association of independent home schools, which costs about $400/year. 3) Join any bona fide homeschool association, as long as it has at least 50 members. This is the option I chose. You simply report to the state via your school district which association you have joined. The other requirements (parents must have a high school diploma or GED, 180 days of instruction--consisting of 4 hour days of math, science, reading, and social studies instruction, maintain a portfolio of work) are the same no matter which option you choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I live in SC. In our state, there are three options for homeschooling: 1) Submit your plans to your local board of education for their approval, and meet whatever requirements they give you. (This is the only option my district publicizes on its website, interestingly.) 2) Join the state association of independent home schools, which costs about $400/year. 3) Join any bona fide homeschool association, as long as it has at least 50 members. This is the option I chose. You simply report to the state via your school district which association you have joined. The other requirements (parents must have a high school diploma or GED, 180 days of instruction--consisting of 4 hour days of math, science, reading, and social studies instruction, maintain a portfolio of work) are the same no matter which option you choose. So under option 3, when you withdraw your daughter, you would notify the school of the option you are using (include the S.C. code# -- 59-65-47), and don't use the school's form. I usually use a notification form that I find online that has all the requirements for my state laid out, along with the appropriate codes referenced. It looks nice & official and for the most part I just need to check off the boxes saying I'll comply with this, and that, and that. :001_smile: Our school system sent a thick packet of forms & "rules" that needed to be agreed to, and I ignored all of it, since I knew I didn't have to agree to it. I just sent in my form, and my list of curriculum, and I got from them the standard letter excusing my daughter from school. Edited February 2, 2011 by gardening momma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I live in SC. In our state, there are three options for homeschooling: 1) Submit your plans to your local board of education for their approval, and meet whatever requirements they give you. (This is the only option my district publicizes on its website, interestingly.) 2) Join the state association of independent home schools, which costs about $400/year. 3) Join any bona fide homeschool association, as long as it has at least 50 members. This is the option I chose. You simply report to the state via your school district which association you have joined. The other requirements (parents must have a high school diploma or GED, 180 days of instruction--consisting of 4 hour days of math, science, reading, and social studies instruction, maintain a portfolio of work) are the same no matter which option you choose. I'm in SC. Third year homeschooling under 3rd option. If you've picked the 3rd option group you'll homeschool under, give them a call and get their suggestion of how to inform the school and what is required to be submitted. The school may give you a tough time, but once you're away you shouldn't have any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Do you mean delay withdrawing her? That is at my dh's request. We prepaid for a field trip, and he wants her to be able to go. I've got everything ready to go here at home, but agreed to wait for the trip. Sigh. I don't think the price of a field trip is worth this much stress and strain. I would just write it off, or see if it can be refunded. I would talk to your dh, and tell him how things have changed during the last week. I would explain that it is just too stressful for dd and for you, and you would like to just keep her home. I wouldn't send her back to school at all. There's really no reason, unless that field trip is the most ultimate, expensive field trip ever. Tomorrow, I would go to school, and withdraw her. I would visit the teacher, explain that dd is still sick, but is improving, but that she will not be returning to class. Ask if you can come back next week with dd to say goodbye and to collect her things. Next week, or when she's feeling better, go visit the teacher (and possibly the other students) to say goodbye, and take a little gift for the teacher. Then, I would take her on a special field trip, just the two of you, to introduce her to her new life. :) This could be the same place as her class is going, or some other place she would enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I would send her to school in the morning (if you aren't being hit with the arctic blizzard), run out and pick up the gift, and then walk into the school at the end of the day with whatever paperwork you are required to hand them for notification, say goodbye to the teacher, and walk out. I believe that by law, they have to refund the money left on her student account which means you should be refunded for the field trip unless they purchased non-refundable tickets to something in advance. Even then, you should at least be given the ticket. I like the idea of starting off with a wonderful field trip for the two of you to kick off your new journey. She's under a lot of stress and this isn't good. As for eating lunch at 10:30 in the morning and then staying after school to do testing, this is STUPID! I can't concentrate when my blood sugars get that low, why do they think a child should! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Join HSLDA first and ask for legal advice. Really. Personally, I don't think you need to feel any obligation to have your dd take those tests, state or district mandated. Once she's out it won't matter whether she took them or not, and you're probably going to have to figure out on your own, anyway, what she knows and doesn't know. My vote would be to let her be "sick" as much as possible so she has to spend as little time as possible in school until you withdraw her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I agree with those who said to withdraw her now. What is this field trip that it is worth all of this stress? You can go on two or three field trips next week. :) That would be perfect during the decompression, deschooling phase. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, but at least you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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