5kidsforME Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I have a read a bunch of threads lately that start with a story or vent about a situation. People either agree with the OP right away or don't. The trend I have been noticing is....when people genuinely don't see it the way the OP sees it all the sudden the OP is back with more information, and usually the information completely sways everyone to their way of thinking. Information that, IMO, should have been in the OP's original story. I certainly am willing to think I am being cynical, but why not put all the info. out there right way? It seems* like the OP wants everyone to agree with them and when they don't they come back with more "information" that is sure to convince everyone to their way. Anyone else see this trend? :confused: *seems- not saying that all threads and OP's are like this. I realize sometimes just typing it out; thinking it through can make you think of more things to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 *seems- not saying that all threads and OP's are like this. I realize sometimes just typing it out; thinking it through can make you think of more things to share. :iagree:with this. I "usually" tend to think people get out what they feel is relevant and needed. Then when things go south fast, they realize they didn't give enough info...and need to clarify. Before I respond to a thread I "try" to read between the lines in the OP's favor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It's tricky to include ALL relevant information and still keep your post short enough for people to follow (and for them to WANT to follow.) And in a conversation, how many times do people say something like, "Well, let me back up. They ALSO....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I think it is natural to want everyone to tell you you are right. :001_smile: I speak from experience when I say it is easy to leave out even important details, especially when you are a little worked up. Then, as Simka said, you come back later to read replies and realize clarification is definitely needed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It's tricky to include ALL relevant information and still keep your post short enough for people to follow (and for them to WANT to follow.) And in a conversation, how many times do people say something like, "Well, let me back up. They ALSO....." :iagree:When something is important to you, it is hard sometimes to convey all of the important details as once. Almost like it is so important to you, on some level you assume they already know the details. Then once you realize it did not some out the way you meant or thought it would, you readdress it being more specific. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 My thought is that when some one comes here to post, they are really needing support. They need to to be heard, to be validated. When some one disagrees, it's not very supportive and it hurts so then it makes them feel that they need to prove their case to be heard and validated. If any person says it's a rant/vent, then it's because they need support, not some one to contradict them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 This is why, when there is an apology over lengthiness, I read eagerly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I've been accused of this (already having made my mind up, so why am I even asking for advice) on another board I frequent. Frustrated me to no end, because I totally hadn't. It is soooo easy to leave out details, and sometimes if you put them in originally it looks like you're trying to say something you're not, but then if you leave them out, people make assumptions that aren't true, so you end up sharing anyway. I think Erica said it well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I have a read a bunch of threads lately that start with a story or vent about a situation. People either agree with the OP right away or don't. The trend I have been noticing is....when people genuinely don't see it the way the OP sees it all the sudden the OP is back with more information, and usually the information completely sways everyone to their way of thinking. Information that, IMO, should have been in the OP's original story. I certainly am willing to think I am being cynical, but why not put all the info. out there right way? It seems* like the OP wants everyone to agree with them and when they don't they come back with more "information" that is sure to convince everyone to their way. Anyone else see this trend? :confused: *seems- not saying that all threads and OP's are like this. I realize sometimes just typing it out; thinking it through can make you think of more things to share. I know what you are talking about. I'm not sure if it's a trend or just something that's happened with a bit more frequency in the last little while. I have noticed, though, that there have been a few notable times when the OP came back with "more info" that actually backfired and had more people not going along with them. I've also noticed a spate of very, very personal posts recently. The volume of them in such a short span of time is what, to me, seems somewhat unusual for this board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I did notice it on one or two threads recently and it did stick out to me, also. I also feel sometimes people are asking for feedback (such as, do you think I behaved well here? What would you do? What do you think? ) when what they really want is confirmation that they were right and that's all. That's when it annoys me. I get it that people need support here, but when they ask for feedback, not support, they should be prepared for feedback. Many people ask for gentleness in feedback and I see that mostly honoured. There are ways of wording your post to get the sort of response you are looking for. Its just a bit annoying when they dont "receive" well any response other than the ones they are looking for, when they have asked for general feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I get it that people need support here, but when they ask for feedback, not support, they should be prepared for feedback. :iagree: I've been trying to write this all day without it sounding snotty. Thanks, Peela. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 My last post was a vent and might have fit your description. I did leave off information but not intentionally mostly because I was really venting . . . just shooting off how I was feeling in the moment. (I guess that's why they say you shouldn't confront someone in the heat of the moment.) I honestly just needed to say how I was feeling. I didn't really think I was posting to garner support. Actually I was happy someone countered my post. (Oh and I was at the end of my lunch hour so I was madly typing and not so madly proofreading . . . another no, no.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 First, let me say that I think it's hilarious that this post started off with "Am I the only one??" because that usually means that someone is looking for people who agree with him/her. LOL ;) That said, I do notice that happening and I just chalk it up to the large quantity of people who post on forums for *validation* of some sort or another. We all do it to some degree. :D Conversations on forums are not like real life at all most of the time--they don't flow as naturally, people don't hold back as much (with tact? with certain info that maybe they would otherwise?) and sometimes don't share enough to be clear. Whatcha gonna do? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I have a read a bunch of threads lately that start with a story or vent about a situation. People either agree with the OP right away or don't. The trend I have been noticing is....when people genuinely don't see it the way the OP sees it all the sudden the OP is back with more information, and usually the information completely sways everyone to their way of thinking. Information that, IMO, should have been in the OP's original story. I certainly am willing to think I am being cynical, but why not put all the info. out there right way? It seems* like the OP wants everyone to agree with them and when they don't they come back with more "information" that is sure to convince everyone to their way. Anyone else see this trend? :confused: *seems- not saying that all threads and OP's are like this. I realize sometimes just typing it out; thinking it through can make you think of more things to share. I know that when this scenario happens to me, it's because I'm in the middle of the situation and I see it all so I don't think to write it all down the first time. When someone asks a question, I think, "Oh I guess that wasn't clear." I give more information and then ... like you say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I know what you are talking about. I'm not sure if it's a trend or just something that's happened with a bit more frequency in the last little while. I have noticed, though, that there have been a few notable times when the OP came back with "more info" that actually backfired and had more people not going along with them. I've also noticed a spate of very, very personal posts recently. The volume of them in such a short span of time is what, to me, seems somewhat unusual for this board. Yes! I absolutely agree with the bolded. A few of those times I have been :001_huh: over what people are willing to share on a public forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 I did notice it on one or two threads recently and it did stick out to me, also. I also feel sometimes people are asking for feedback (such as, do you think I behaved well here? What would you do? What do you think? ) when what they really want is confirmation that they were right and that's all. That's when it annoys me. I get it that people need support here, but when they ask for feedback, not support, they should be prepared for feedback. Many people ask for gentleness in feedback and I see that mostly honoured. There are ways of wording your post to get the sort of response you are looking for. Its just a bit annoying when they dont "receive" well any response other than the ones they are looking for, when they have asked for general feedback. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted January 22, 2011 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 First, let me say that I think it's hilarious that this post started off with "Am I the only one??" because that usually means that someone is looking for people who agree with him/her. LOL ;) Of course I am! ;) I figure out of the thousands and thousands of posters here I couldn't be the only one who has noticed this. :D Actually, it was interesting to see the responses that give these posters the benefit of the doubt. I tend to be pretty cynical about the posters that add pertinent info. AFTER they get too much opposition. So as much as you may think I wanted agreement, :lol: , I really do want to know how the board as a whole sees these posters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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