What can I do with DS? (another picky eater thread)

[happyWImom]

I know, it's another one. And, believe me, I've read the old ones, but still....I'm here.

 

Ds is getting better. He has been picky for years, and I know most of the reason is my fault-I went the easy way with meals in the beginning. Chicken nugget type stuff, mac & cheese, fish sticks.... Not the total unhealthy versions, but still-breaded stuff.

 

So now, he practically gags when eating any type of chicken, pork or turkey that doesn't have breading on it, he will eat hamburgers and sloppy joe's, but only if the meat isn't showing, and there's not a lot on the bun. He does eat lots of fruit, and eats veggies (broccoli, carrots, peas and corn only) but isn't thrilled. He eats yogurt, cheese and LOTS of peanut butter. Doesn't like any type of lunch meat. Not thrilled with nuts, other than peanuts, but if I chop walnuts small enough, I can put them in yogurt and oatmeal.

 

Way TMI, I know. Anyway, we are REALLY trying to eat much healthier here, and dd will eat anything. I do have a rule that ds has to eat a few bites of either a new food, or a food he isn't thrilled with, but it's still a huge struggle. Do I just keep bringing it on, and over time and 2 bites at every meal, he will finally get used to stuff and eat it???

 

Second big question. We love soup, and with winter coming, I want to do lots of soups and chili's. Ds will not eat it. I have tried every kind possible-even stooped to getting Cambell's Diego soups and things like that. Tried making our own A, B, C, soup. No go. Something about the broth, I think, but I've tried chicken, beef, tomato and veggie type broths, and he hates it all. What do I do???? If the soup is our main meal, 2 bites isn't sufficient, even if he has some fruit and bread with it. The veggies are in the soup! And, if ds goes to bed with an empty stomach, he gets a bad tummy ache and throws up the next day. Which is what he's been doing this morning. :sad:

 

Please help!!

[simka2]

I'm sure I won't be much help to you, and I hope someone more generous chimes in. In our home, unless you have a food allergy, you eat it! If there is something I know ds5 doesn't like, he has to eat it before he can eat something he likes more.

 

I have one ds with a milk allergy, so we do adjust for him.

 

I do not have the funds, patience or creativity to feed them "only"what they want.

 

My youngest was the worst for this, but he understands the family rules. I'm also really mean, in that what they don't eat will be saved for later. When we were working with ds5 on this issue here is what I would do.

 

1. establish new family rules ;)

2. Make a family dinner, and put a little of everything on his plate. (we have a 1/2 rule, because I start off with small portons) He has to eat 1/2 of everything.

3. If he "can't" ends up in meltdown, gags at the table...they go to there room till they can demonstrate appropriate table manners.

4. Don't end up in a complete battle of wills. If he refuses, I calmly get out the plastic wrap, take the plate and put it in the fridge.

5. After dinner is cleaned up I put some cookies in the oven. You guessed it...he doesn't get any!

6. When he's ready to finish his meal I will reheat it ONCE. After that if another fit insues he can eat it cold, or go without the cookies ;)

 

This takes about a week to establish. So, there is some extra planning on my part to make sure I have really yummy desserts or evening snacks.

 

Occasionaly, I have to revisit this...but not very often. As, a part of our school we try different ethnic foods every week. The last 2 weeks it's been curry, fried plantains and groundnut stew. I decided before they were born, that I wasn't going to "allow" a picky eater. It was one of things I didn't realize about dh when I met him and I was pretty disgusted by it. (He's completely different now, thank goodness!!!)

 

Like I said...probly not the most helpful, but it's what I do ;)

[secular_mom]

Will he eat the soup veggies if you use a slotted spoon and serve them to him on a plate instead of in the soup?

Edited October 15, 2010 by secular_mom
left out a word

[fairfarmhand]

I'm sure I won't be much help to you, and I hope someone more generous chimes in. In our home, unless you have a food allergy, you eat it! If there is something I know ds5 doesn't like, he has to eat it before he can eat something he likes more.

 

I have one ds with a milk allergy, so we do adjust for him.

 

I do not have the funds, patience or creativity to feed them "only"what they want.

 

My youngest was the worst for this, but he understands the family rules. I'm also really mean, in that what they don't eat will be saved for later. When we were working with ds5 on this issue here is what I would do.

 

1. establish new family rules ;)

2. Make a family dinner, and put a little of everything on his plate. (we have a 1/2 rule, because I start off with small portons) He has to eat 1/2 of everything.

3. If he "can't" ends up in meltdown, gags at the table...they go to there room till they can demonstrate appropriate table manners.

4. Don't end up in a complete battle of wills. If he refuses, I calmly get out the plastic wrap, take the plate and put it in the fridge.

5. After dinner is cleaned up I put some cookies in the oven. You guessed it...he doesn't get any!

6. When he's ready to finish his meal I will reheat it ONCE. After that if another fit insues he can eat it cold, or go without the cookies ;)

 

This takes about a week to establish. So, there is some extra planning on my part to make sure I have really yummy desserts or evening snacks.

 

Occasionaly, I have to revisit this...but not very often. As, a part of our school we try different ethnic foods every week. The last 2 weeks it's been curry, fried plantains and groundnut stew. I decided before they were born, that I wasn't going to "allow" a picky eater. It was one of things I didn't realize about dh when I met him and I was pretty disgusted by it. (He's completely different now, thank goodness!!!)

 

Like I said...probly not the most helpful, but it's what I do ;)

 

This is how it is at my house.

 

Will he eat the soup veggies if you use a slotted spoon and serve them to him on a plate instead in the soup?

 

 

This was my question. I wouldn't have a problem allowing the kid to eat only the veggies and a few bites of meat.

 

I think you are doing finel eventually he will outgrow it and the fact that he's eating fruits and veggies is wonderful!

[Terabith]

Well, I have a rule that I won't make a second meal, but I will allow the child to eat a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter sandwich for themselves. I know that there are foods I just really can't bring myself to eat, and I really do feel nauseous about them. Even the smell. Sometimes it is a texture thing. I don't want to insist on something like that. I would make him try two or three bites of what is served, and then allow him to make a healthful alternative. I would offer lots of fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, etc as snacks. I would not allow dessert if they have not eaten the family meal. I would also try the slotted spoon for veggies, or let him pick the meal/ veggies out.

[Melinda in VT]

I know, it's another one. And, believe me, I've read the old ones, but still....I'm here.

 

Ds is getting better. He has been picky for years, and I know most of the reason is my fault-I went the easy way with meals in the beginning. Chicken nugget type stuff, mac & cheese, fish sticks.... Not the total unhealthy versions, but still-breaded stuff.

 

So now, he practically gags when eating any type of chicken, pork or turkey that doesn't have breading on it, he will eat hamburgers and sloppy joe's, but only if the meat isn't showing, and there's not a lot on the bun. He does eat lots of fruit, and eats veggies (broccoli, carrots, peas and corn only) but isn't thrilled. He eats yogurt, cheese and LOTS of peanut butter. Doesn't like any type of lunch meat. Not thrilled with nuts, other than peanuts, but if I chop walnuts small enough, I can put them in yogurt and oatmeal.

 

Way TMI, I know. Anyway, we are REALLY trying to eat much healthier here, and dd will eat anything. I do have a rule that ds has to eat a few bites of either a new food, or a food he isn't thrilled with, but it's still a huge struggle. Do I just keep bringing it on, and over time and 2 bites at every meal, he will finally get used to stuff and eat it???

 

Second big question. We love soup, and with winter coming, I want to do lots of soups and chili's. Ds will not eat it. I have tried every kind possible-even stooped to getting Cambell's Diego soups and things like that. Tried making our own A, B, C, soup. No go. Something about the broth, I think, but I've tried chicken, beef, tomato and veggie type broths, and he hates it all. What do I do???? If the soup is our main meal, 2 bites isn't sufficient, even if he has some fruit and bread with it. The veggies are in the soup! And, if ds goes to bed with an empty stomach, he gets a bad tummy ache and throws up the next day. Which is what he's been doing this morning. :sad:

 

Please help!!

 

Wow. Your son sounds a lot like mine (especially the throwing up bit), but your son eats more food than mine does.

 

We just serve him a PB&J sandwich or some Greek yogurt for dinner if we're eating something he won't eat. That's most nights.

 

:grouphug:

[happyWImom]

Will he eat the soup veggies if you use a slotted spoon and serve them to him on a plate instead of in the soup?

 

He is funny about any type of a "sauce" even though soup isn't a sauce. Still primarily eats pasta with just butter or olive oil, has had some speg. with very, very, very little pasta sauce on it, and if we try and do a casserole of any type, he doesn't like the veggies because of the "sauce".

 

Also, he's not thrilled with the veggies, but he'll eat them. Except he doesn't eat cooked carrots, only raw. So out of the soup, peas and corn only? I guess I'll need to get creative with my soups!

 

I have told him that since he doesn't like a lot of meat, in addition to the few bites, he is going to start having to eat more legumes.

[simka2]

Well, I have a rule that I won't make a second meal, but I will allow the child to eat a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter sandwich for themselves. I know that there are foods I just really can't bring myself to eat, and I really do feel nauseous about them. Even the smell. Sometimes it is a texture thing. I don't want to insist on something like that. I would make him try two or three bites of what is served, and then allow him to make a healthful alternative. I would offer lots of fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, etc as snacks. I would not allow dessert if they have not eaten the family meal. I would also try the slotted spoon for veggies, or let him pick the meal/ veggies out.

 

Just wanted to clarify. We are now at a point where I will allow the peanut butter sandwich or bowl of cereal, because we have that level of trust. (they have to really hate something to go that route) ;)

 

My family doesn't really gag at anything...except something slimy and seafoody ;) and I' mean gelatinous slimy!!! This sunday they are eating King Crab!!!

[secular_mom]

When I cook something that one or more of my kids is just NOT going to eat, then I try to make at least one side dish that I know they will eat, that is healthful and filling. My kids do not eat cooked carrots either, but they want raw carrots when they see me eating cooked carrots so I just give them raw baby carrots. If yours is like mine then I'd recommend you try cooking red lentils for him (I buy them in bulk at the health food store)- they have the mildest taste. I had to start thinking about things differently too, like if it's okay for us to eat meat everyday then it's okay for my kid to have peanut butter every day. Does he eat eggs?

[Mom-ninja.]

It sounds like he may have sensory issues. These issues cannot be fixed with rules of "eat what is put in front of you."

 

Raising a Sensory Smart Child is a good book. Read the section about picky eating. Give your ds a good multivitamin.

 

Offer, offer, offer but don't force. It's a battle you will lose.

[Mom-ninja.]

When I cook something that one or more of my kids is just NOT going to eat, then I try to make at least one side dish that I know they will eat, that is healthful and filling. My kids do not eat cooked carrots either, but they want raw carrots when they see me eating cooked carrots so I just give them raw baby carrots. If yours is like mine then I'd recommend you try cooking red lentils for him (I buy them in bulk at the health food store)- they have the mildest taste. I had to start thinking about things differently too, like if it's okay for us to eat meat everyday then it's okay for my kid to have peanut butter every day. Does he eat eggs?

 

I do the same. I offer alternative versions of the same food I make for dinner. Raw or frozen (yes frozen) veggies instead of cooked or vice versa. Don't like the sauce then you can choose butter, plain yogurt, or olive oil on your rice/pasta/potatoes instead. Things like that.

[simka2]

It sounds like he may have sensory issues. These issues cannot be fixed with rules of "eat what is put in front of you."

 

Raising a Sensory Smart Child is a good book. Read the section about picky eating. Give your ds a good multivitamin.

 

Offer, offer, offer but don't force. It's a battle you will lose.

 

This could very well be true ;). I have no experience in this area.

[Lara in Colo]

I've different pickiness in all four of my children. Interestingly enough, the worst is now the best, I guess because she learned to eat what she doesn't like (which is a lot). DS5 is very picky and I would send him to bed w/o dinner and he would have too low of blood sugar in the AM and also barf. All the tricks that worked for the others do not work for him. We have tried a new thing that is working quite well. I make lunch the main meal. I never liked the "you'll have it for breakfast" thing--yuck! But "you'll have it for dinner" seems to work. Yesterday I set the crockpot to have beef stroganoff ready by 2:00, three didn't finish, at 5:00 they wanted a snack. I told them to go get their lunch from the fridge and microwave it, like magic--the food I would have tossed is now eaten. The evening meal is more a snack, ham chunks and bagel with carrot sticks, which make fewer dishes at the end of the day when I am tired.

I like this new slunch thing!! Another trick that has worked is to have the same thing for several meals. I once had a broccoli week.

 

Lara

Edited October 15, 2010 by Lara in Colo

[myfunnybunch]

I have a boy, my youngest, who sounds so much like your son. Don't be too hard on yourself. My ds did not eat chicken nuggets, etc. when he was young, and he's the same. He just doesn't like meat. He only likes raw carrots, not cooked.

 

My ds has a mild form of hypoglycemia. He cannot go to bed with an empty stomach or he's ill the next day: Vomiting, headache, sleeps all morning. He's also got some sensory issues with texture and flavor. (Interesting aside, he typically describes food in terms of color and sound. One night he played his dinner on the piano for us, lol.)

 

For him it is a true sensory issue, with the hypoglycemia thrown into the mix.

 

We decided that because of the hypoglycemia, our options were to fix only meals he will eat, or to stick to our usual menu and allow him to make himself a sandwich when he doesn't care for dinner. We fix healthy nutritious meals for the whole family. I try to make at least one thing that he likes. He must taste everything. If he has tasted everything and is still hungry near the end of the meal, he can make himself a sandwich.

 

He will sometimes dip a bread crust into soup and eat the broth that way. Sometimes I can ladle out broth with NO meat or veggies (my ds doesn't like things in sauce or mixed either) into a cup and he will drink it.

 

He likes us to scoop sausage or chicken out of the soup and will eat those separately. Even though he doesn't eat meat. :confused: LOL

 

Maybe you could throw a handful of the chopped veg for soup into a pan and saute them instead? I know it's few minutes of extra work, but since you've already chopped the veg anyway, it's just a matter of a heated pan and a little oil or butter and some stirring.

 

Our guys are little still. As long as we keep encouraging them to try new foods, they will gradually expand the foods they like, or at least that they can tolerate.

 

Oh, and my middle ds has this kind of hypoglycemia too. It just means that they cannot go without eating as long as most kids, that they are at the very far end of normal as far as fasting tolerance. Usually they outgrow it once they reach a certain body mass. My middle grew out of it about 7.5, and I expect the same will happen with my youngest. :)

 

Cat

[ZeldaRules]

It sounds like he may have sensory issues. These issues cannot be fixed with rules of "eat what is put in front of you."

 

Raising a Sensory Smart Child is a good book. Read the section about picky eating. Give your ds a good multivitamin.

 

Offer, offer, offer but don't force. It's a battle you will lose.

 

Yes, this. I cooked lasagna the other day and tried to get my 4YO to just try one little measly bite. He threw tantrums, ran away, wouldn't do it. I tried to hold out, but I couldn't let him starve in the morning. I took him to his Occupational therapy appointment and his OT said that her son couldn't eat food based on the look of the texture of the food. My son ran away from spaghettio's yesterday. Maybe it's the red thing. He likes macaroni and cheese, and he has eaten spaghetti before...I put a bite on his tongue and then he seriously gagged. I quit after that.

 

My son has sensory issues, but not normally to food.

 

And these aversions can just happen one day. If he is gagging, it has got to be a sensory thing. Don't force him to eat something, you will both be miserable. My OT said her son didn't admit the texture thing until he was in his late teens. He didn't eat a hamburger until he was 11 and she said recently he tried Chinese and liked it. He is in his early 20s now.

 

If he doesn't like what you make or can't eat it...have him make his own thing. (PBJ, etc).

 

Do you notice any other sensory issues with him?

 

Vicki

[Tabrett]

I'm sure I won't be much help to you, and I hope someone more generous chimes in. In our home, unless you have a food allergy, you eat it! If there is something I know ds5 doesn't like, he has to eat it before he can eat something he likes more.

 

I have one ds with a milk allergy, so we do adjust for him.

 

I do not have the funds, patience or creativity to feed them "only"what they want.

 

My youngest was the worst for this, but he understands the family rules. I'm also really mean, in that what they don't eat will be saved for later. When we were working with ds5 on this issue here is what I would do.

 

1. establish new family rules ;)

2. Make a family dinner, and put a little of everything on his plate. (we have a 1/2 rule, because I start off with small portons) He has to eat 1/2 of everything.

3. If he "can't" ends up in meltdown, gags at the table...they go to there room till they can demonstrate appropriate table manners.

4. Don't end up in a complete battle of wills. If he refuses, I calmly get out the plastic wrap, take the plate and put it in the fridge.

5. After dinner is cleaned up I put some cookies in the oven. You guessed it...he doesn't get any!

6. When he's ready to finish his meal I will reheat it ONCE. After that if another fit insues he can eat it cold, or go without the cookies ;)

 

This takes about a week to establish. So, there is some extra planning on my part to make sure I have really yummy desserts or evening snacks.

 

Occasionaly, I have to revisit this...but not very often. As, a part of our school we try different ethnic foods every week. The last 2 weeks it's been curry, fried plantains and groundnut stew. I decided before they were born, that I wasn't going to "allow" a picky eater. It was one of things I didn't realize about dh when I met him and I was pretty disgusted by it. (He's completely different now, thank goodness!!!)

 

Like I said...probly not the most helpful, but it's what I do ;)

 

What age were your dc when you started this? My 3yo ds only wants to eat cheese and chicken. Thankfully, the cheese is good real cheddar cheese. He just looks at food and says he doesn't like it and pitches a fit wanting cheese.

 

Do you think it would work with a child as young a 3?

[Food4Thought]

My son used to be very much like yours. He would throw up if we gave him chicken. Every. Single. Time. He only ate all sorts of carbs, breads - our dinners would just be toast sometimes. He had major sensory issues, many signs of Aspergers and all sorts of wonderful stuff. No one seemed to understand that the kid really *could not* eat food.

 

Well, if you've seen me around the forums, you probably know what I'm going to say next. My son has gluten intolerance. Yours might too. Yes, it sounds counter-intuitive since *all* he eats right now is gluten. He may be addicted to it, and that's why all other food is a no-go.

 

After 3 days without gluten in our house, my previously anti-texture son ate a chicken drumstick in barbecue sauce and loved it. Over the past year, he has not thrown up or gagged once, even though I've made him eat all sorts of weird things like ratatouille and butternut squash. He hated soups, but now has soup with us at least twice a week. (One trick with broth - put it in a mug and let him drink it like tea.)

 

It's possible my DS just grew out of his pickiness, but considering the significant issues he had with food before, I don't think so. Please do some research into gluten (The Gluten Connection is a good start). Even if you don't go gluten-free, you might think twice about letting your child survive on a diet consisting almost solely of wheat products.

[Chris in VA]

Tabrett--start today. If it's not sensory-based, and just a battle of wills, the sooner you insist, the better.

 

OP, I was wondering about the sensory questions posed above, also.

 

Sorry your little guy is so anxious about food.

 

FWIW, as a child, I had a very strong "bitter" reaction--some people taste bitter more easily than others. I posted a test you can do at home on another thread--I'm not sure where it is, but you are less likely to eat veggies if you have this "bitter" problem/preference/super-tasting ability (it's all a matter of perspective! lol). Maybe that's part of the problem for your little one, although it does sound more like a texture thing.

 

I hated cooked veggies, and jello. My mom tried to give us healthy food, including her homemade veg soup (what she considered the ultimate health food) b/c my brother had cystic fibrosis and she thought food could make a difference (it can't--the body lacks the digestive enzymes needed). Bless her heart, she cooked the life out of the veggies. It was my ultimate nightmare to have to eat that soup.

My palate widened and changed over time.

[happyWImom]

I have a boy, my youngest, who sounds so much like your son. Don't be too hard on yourself. My ds did not eat chicken nuggets, etc. when he was young, and he's the same. He just doesn't like meat. He only likes raw carrots, not cooked.

 

My ds has a mild form of hypoglycemia. He cannot go to bed with an empty stomach or he's ill the next day: Vomiting, headache, sleeps all morning. He's also got some sensory issues with texture and flavor. (Interesting aside, he typically describes food in terms of color and sound. One night he played his dinner on the piano for us, lol.)

 

For him it is a true sensory issue, with the hypoglycemia thrown into the mix.

 

We decided that because of the hypoglycemia, our options were to fix only meals he will eat, or to stick to our usual menu and allow him to make himself a sandwich when he doesn't care for dinner. We fix healthy nutritious meals for the whole family. I try to make at least one thing that he likes. He must taste everything. If he has tasted everything and is still hungry near the end of the meal, he can make himself a sandwich.

 

He will sometimes dip a bread crust into soup and eat the broth that way. Sometimes I can ladle out broth with NO meat or veggies (my ds doesn't like things in sauce or mixed either) into a cup and he will drink it.

 

He likes us to scoop sausage or chicken out of the soup and will eat those separately. Even though he doesn't eat meat. :confused: LOL

 

Maybe you could throw a handful of the chopped veg for soup into a pan and saute them instead? I know it's few minutes of extra work, but since you've already chopped the veg anyway, it's just a matter of a heated pan and a little oil or butter and some stirring.

 

Our guys are little still. As long as we keep encouraging them to try new foods, they will gradually expand the foods they like, or at least that they can tolerate.

 

Oh, and my middle ds has this kind of hypoglycemia too. It just means that they cannot go without eating as long as most kids, that they are at the very far end of normal as far as fasting tolerance. Usually they outgrow it once they reach a certain body mass. My middle grew out of it about 7.5, and I expect the same will happen with my youngest. :)

 

Cat

 

This explains soooo much! My ds is the same way if he's had either no dinner, or even a small amount! What I try and do, is make sure we have a fruit & veggie that he will eat, and if I know he hates the main protein (meaning 2 bites only), I make sure there will be something filling like bread or pasta, rice..... And I give him milk or cheese or yogurt so that he has some more protein.

 

I don't want to battle, because I know it isn't good for anyone. But I do want to have him try things, even if he doesn't eat much of it initially. I'm hoping he'll grow out of it, like I did. I hated everything, and basically washed it down with my drinks.:001_smile:

[Gwenhwyfar]

you can usually tell if it's just "picky" or if it's sensory issues - i have one of each here.

 

dd13: picky. if i say "look, just eat your dang [whatever] if you want to go to the show" -- she eats it. she may wrinkle her nose or bury it in some kind of condiment, but there's no gagging, crying, chipmunking, etc. as a general rule, i don't give her stuff that she HATES --- but i don't let her live off pogos either. sometimes, she just has to eat her veggies and deal. ;)

 

ds12: sensory. there are times where he simply can. not. eat. the food item - and it doesn't matter what motivation or consequence you offer... he'll cry, gag, throw up, chipmunk it until i let him spit it out, etc. he's not being obstinate - he is truly unable to handle the food. i provide something else that i know he can eat..

 

i do bring back his 'difficult' foods/drink from time to time for him to try again, because sometimes things change & sometimes just trying again a few times may help (not always) -- but i don't force it.