Time for some Funny Kid Quotes!

[LMK]

Hi All!

 

It's been a while since I have seen some funny threads, so I thought I would start one off. I could use a good laugh...and not the insane losing my mind kind (if you know what I mean!).

 

I'll start us off:

 

DD5 to DD 7 as DD7 is reading "The Cat in the Hat" : "That fish sure knows alot!"

 

DD 7 commenting on DD 3.5's new (bad) attitude: "Mama, I told you that hair cut changed her!" (this was a week or so after we cut DD 3.5's hair for the first time...it was very long and once we cut it all the waves curled right up to her head.)

 

DD 7: "I have no knowledge of that" <when confronted about whatever mischief has been going on>

 

DD 2: "Not ME!" when walking down the stairs and pointing to the lovely orange crayon marks on the white wall that she (yes she) decorated

 

Ok, now its your turn! I'm :bigear:

 

LMK

[Diane in CO]

"God knows more than you" DS 6 to his papa who was visiting at the time :tongue_smilie:

 

"You killed my holy spirit" younger son to older son at church

 

"Ernie, put the F*****R down" My oldest son (when he was two) singing the Sesame street put down the ducky song :lol:

 

"Don't mom, it will make you crazy!!!" DS 9 when we were at Trader Joes and I was looking at the wines they had....not sure where he got this idea as I only drink rarely, and then maybe a half a glass with dinner. I slunk out of there while DH laughed at me all the way to the car :D

Edited September 28, 2010 by Diane in CO

[swellmomma]

This am I was making pancakes, ds7 had his arm up against the pan. When I realized this I said to him, "Thank goodness you have a cast on, it just saved you from a bad burn." He replied "Yup, this cast is great for breaking noses, saving you from burns, oh yeah, and fixing your arm"

 

:glare: nice to see fixing the broken bones came in top 3.

 

Same son tonight said another one at dd3's birthday potty. DD got a baby doll that goes potty after you give it a bottle of water. DD was testing it out and ds7 pipes up "That baby is a boy baby" so gramma asks how he knows. His answer- "It pees on the seat like a boy" Can you tell the issue we have been working on at home lately.

[Guest bntjones]

"Kids can't have soda, it's just full of alcohol!"...my son's reply when a friend of mine asked if kids should have soda.

[iona]

ds(5) to dh "gee, you are smarter than you look"

 

ds(5) to me "did God make flies so we could exercise our arms using flyswatters?"

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

After I had finished my frustrated, chastising spiel at DS4 for being ornery to his sister (AGAIN ... you know how it is *sigh*), telling him he needed to get off his high horse, DS4 looked at me thoughtfully and responded, "Mommy, did you say 'high horse' as a figure of speech?"

[Margo out of lurking]

Ds was 10 when we finally told him Santa was not real. He became very upset and cried, yelling at us, "You're not Santa Claus. You're Santa FRAUDS!"

 

It made me feel better; that was my assurance he was more than old enough.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

From today. DS4: "I am a giant fire ant. I'm like, a hundred pounds. [crawling around in silent display for a few moments] Mommy, you need to stay away from my backside."

[Sophia]

DS(5)"I already know all about the Holy Spirit."

Ds thought church was going a little long and was explaining why it would be ok for him to leave. :rolleyes:

[kalanamak]

DS 6: "It's called sexual intercourse" said to a 7 year old stranger at a U Fish place (we were fishing for a fish to mummify) who asked what that pair of ducks was doing. Our 9 year old companion shouted "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" and ran off.

[BMW]

11yob said, "I got a runny nose today. I was sitting there and all of a sudden it was raining inside my nose."

[Dandelion]

Conversation with DS7 this evening...

 

DS: I can't wait to be a daddy someday!

ME: You'll be a great daddy!

DS: I hope my testes will still have enough eggs in them when I get married so I can have kids!

ME: {GULP - PAUSE - thinking: where did he get this info? We didn't have this conversation yet. He's only 7. And yes, he's got it wrong, but should I even correct him? :001_huh:}

ME: Your testes don't have eggs in them. Your wife's ovaries will provide the egg and your testes will provide the sperm.

DS: {Slaps himself on the head with dramatic flair} Oh, DUH! I forgot... So, how do the sperm and the egg get together to make the baby?

ME: {LONG, LONG PAUSE} Well, it's complicated. But you'll figure that out when you get there...

DS: Oh, I'll figure it out then? Ok, mom! {Runs off blissfully ignorant and happy}

ME: PHEW!!! :D

 

Still don't know where he got this info to begin with, but I suspect it's my mom... She believes in providing DS with full disclosure on everything at the slightest hint of a question. I believe in fully answering his questions too, but I'm not quite ready to have "the talk" with him at age 7. ;)

[Melanie]

While watching a Teaching Company geology lecture: "Yeah, yeah. The earth is a swirling swirl of swirliness. Got it."

[Melissa in Australia]

ds6 saw I was cooking beans for dinner, and said" don't give any of those to Dad, they make him in a foul mood."

He meant foul smell.

[anneofalamo]

first off thank you for the fun this morning!!

 

I recently lost a large amount of weight and my son 12 came and hugged me and kinda stroked under my chin and says,

"I like you better without the waddle under here"

 

That will keep me exercising!!

[Lizzie in Ma]

Blogged it the other day.

http://www.aworkinprogress.net/2010/09/things-kids-say.html