If profanity bothers you, why does it? If not, why not?

[Murphy101]

yeah i just totally made that up to annoy you ! ! ! :w00t:

 

 

the question was "If profanity bothers you, why does it? If not, why not?" ...and i answered it.

 

:lol:

 

This thread reminds me of the is it okay to say shut up thread from a while back.

 

I grew up hearing f and gd on a regular basis.

 

I do not judge people by how they speak most of the time. I have heard supposedly very Christian goody-goody people say some very profane and vulgar things without a single epithet uttered. I've heard illiterate bums say some very kind

and good things even with the f or s words interspersed in their speech.

 

Me? I try very hard to break my background.

Certainly the worst are not allowed by my children.

And I often sound like an idiot because I have found the best way to reduce a foul mouth it to replace it. So I will say, oh farfignuggen! Or twiddle! I used to say freakin, but dh didn't like it, so I switched to flippin. Dh and I use a movie phrase for crankiness, "Get that pickle out your arse/butt!"

 

I do not think mild expletives are verboten here in the older kids and adults. Hell is a place. Dang, turd, carp, butt, bum. None of which are used in putting another down though or a daily part of conversation.

 

I think in a moment of frustration, shock, or fear OMG and Jesus is less blasphemy and more a 2 syllabol prayer.

 

I do not like hearing it in every other sentences as in ---! What pretty shoes!:glare:

 

So ending who you are, we are either way to strict or heading straight for a hot eternity. Though I'm not really sure I care what either of you think about it. Uptight people (like the lady many years ago who felt the need to tell me saying something sucks was inappropriate) and angry cuss with every other word people (like my father who I declare thinks the f word and gd are inteded to be usd as often as "the" in the English language) make me want to

just go home and enjoy my happy normal relaxed family and a nice glass of wine. People who occasionally use what some would consider a verboten word don't bother me in the least. I think they are just human.

Edited September 19, 2010 by Martha

[nmoira]

 

The *F* word is my favorite. I mean, taking it at it's true definition, soemthing to do with making Tea. Can books be *F*in? Can a table?

A cup of tea can be d***ed fine. :tongue_smilie: Ours is not a literal world, and thank goodness for that.

[Mrs Mungo]

Not bothered by it, but over use shows a lack of creativity of one's vocabulary.

 

I can agree with that.

 

This.

 

Profanity is not a necessary component of demeaning or hateful speech. Truly horrific things can be said with smiles and sweet language.

 

Some pretty good examples in this thread, imo. I would rather people curse, but have a kind heart rather than the other way around.

 

I do not think mild expletives are verboten here in the older kids and adults. Hell is a place. Dang, turd, carp, butt, bum.

 

I hate the word turd SO much!! I'd rather people say $#!+ But, that is just me. I don't think less of people if they use it.

[Mrs Mungo]

A cup of tea can be d***ed fine. :tongue_smilie: Ours is not a literal world, and thank goodness for that.

 

You don't actually believe that the cup of tea is going to hell? :willy_nilly: ;)

[Imprimis]

 

Since dh joined the army full time I have been exposed to more cursing than I would have thought possible. It's kind of funny though - hearing it from the men doesn't really shock me or bother me too much unless it's the f-bomb every other word. Women cursing still makes me flinch though. I don't know why, but even a female soldier cursing makes my skin crawl. Analyze that!

 

I hate to admit it, and can't offer up a good reason for this, but I, too, am more apt to cringe when I hear women swear or curse. I'm not talking about mild swear words, but words along the lines of the f-bomb. From men, it doesn't bother me so much, :confused:, unless, as you mentioned, it was excessive, OR, in public. I would prefer not to hear anyone use strong vulgarities in public, especially if there are children within ear shot.

 

Now, to be really hypocritical, I, myself, will swear at home (and not just mildly :blush:), but, ONLY, when I, A: get hurt, or B: get really, really mad. BUT, here's the thing, I do not, and have never, sworn in front of anyone outside of my family. Even at home, it's more "under my breath."

 

Analyze that, indeed! ::::sigh::::

[Murphy101]

I hate the word turd SO much!! I'd rather people say $#!+ But, that is just me. I don't think less of people if they use it.

 

:lol: I hate phrase PMSing. I'd rather hear b----y, than that, but I just keep that to myself and move on...;)

[tex-mex]

I'm not bothered by curse words because they're just the same thing as saying gosh darnit or rats. I do hate hearing people, usually young people (20s and lower) use curse words in a ridiculously large number, like every 3rd word. Cursing shouldn't be such a big part of conversation.

:iagree: I think it is our human nature to call out a curse word when startled, hurt, or close call. The flesh cries out, kwim? ;) I think personally what bothers me most are people who judge others over it when in reality we all are imperfect. Who among us are without sin?? :D

 

And OTOH, for those who curse with every other word -- yes, I agree in most cases, those who do that tend to limit themselves and most likely are lacking in conversational skills. :confused: But I like the previous poster who said to overlook the outer "crude" shell and peer into the heart for what they are trying to communicate.

Edited September 19, 2010 by tex-mex

[Imprimis]

 

 

 

I hate the word turd SO much!! I'd rather people say $#!+ But, that is just me. I don't think less of people if they use it.

 

I am really cracking up over this, as this is me, too! In fact, I was on the brink of insanity a few years ago when the movie RV came out, because, in it, the kids start singing about a "big ol' rolling t*rd" (see, I hate it so much I can't even type it)----referring to their RV. IT.drove.me.nuts. And, if it wasn't bad enough that my kids wanted to watch the movie over and over, they started SINGING that blasted song.....:glare:

[Meriwether]

Okay, I know this is my third post but, I'm an English major and love this stuff.

 

fwiw, a lot of our vulgarities, in English, come from the Saxons, whereas a lot of our "nice" words come from the Normans. After William the Conquerer came through, the Saxons became the lower class, and their words also became "lower class". So you have the more refined "intestines" and the earthier "guts" (to pick a non-censored example).

 

That's not all of it, but it's part of it.

 

This reminds me of the passage in Ivanhoe.

[tex-mex]

"And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

Very well said. :iagree:

[Miss Sherry]

This.

 

Profanity is not a necessary component of demeaning or hateful speech. Truly horrific things can be said with smiles and sweet language.

Yes, that is so true. Mean is mean whether said with a smile or sweet language or not.

[Guest janainaz]

To me, words are just words and a way to express what you want to communicate. I really am not personally offended by any 'word'.

 

As an adult, I can look past someone's lingo and see the bigger picture into their heart. There are many things to take into account when you hear or talk to someone. I do take into account their culture. I take into account their environment.

 

The language that the kids use at my local park is horrendous. But I can't look at any one of those kids and label them as 'bad' or 'worthless'. These kids are raised in an enviroment and they learn that language. It is unfair to judge someone as useless when you don't even really know them.

 

I remember taking my ds10 to a park when he was 7, and there were a lot of jr. high boys there cussing. My son's eyes lit up and he looked at me. I just said, "Well, what do YOU think?" He just shook his head. I just explained what is often behind the language that kids use. They want to sound cool and it's just become acceptable in this generation that we are living in. But it does not define someone's soul. There is something more there, past the words. I'd rather him see that.

 

I also told him that as he got older, he would not always be around me. He could say anything he wants. But I asked him how he thought it sounded. I also brought up the point of him, and his little brother, being at the park and those kids not caring about anyone else. I asked him if he could imagine talking like that in front of grown-ups or little kids. And then I asked him what was missing in those kids, that they did not care that I was standing there holding my baby?

 

Why do some people not care? Maybe their culture accepts cussing. Maybe they are angry, and maybe they just don't care. And if they don't care, you have to ask why and have some compassion.

 

But people argue and bicker over surface stuff, but everything has a deeper meaning when it comes to human beings.

Edited September 19, 2010 by janainaz

[simka2]

I differentiate between profanity and vulgarity. Profanity tends to bother me, but vulgarity doesn't bother me as often.

 

Profanity would be taking religious words and sentiments and using them flippantly. In many cases, it's hearing the name of someone I love being used as an equivalent of "oh sh**", and I don't think anyone would like hearing the name of a loved one used that way.

 

Vulgarity is, I think, often inappropriate, because who wants to be reminded publicly of excrement and/or sex at, say, the dinner table? But sometimes it's appropriate - if you just had something very painful happen (drop a heavy box on your toe, say), well, the previously mentioned "oh, sh**" seems about right. Stubbing your toe makes you about as happy as dog poop makes you, so why not say so? :)

 

I do like people saying what they mean though, so I wish more people would use vulgarity only thoughtfully, only when they really mean it. If you use it all the time, it stops meaning anything at all.

 

Okay, someone may have already said this...so I apologize :001_smile:. Also, I'm in really goofy mood, so this isn't an attack... just my goofiness!

 

Hear's my thinking...if someone says "Oh, Jesus!" they could be exlaiming that something is amazing!!! Now if a family member of mine was anywhere near as awesome as Jesus...I'm not sure it would offend me to hear them say their name! IT's a way of saying...that is awe striking or powerfully overwhelming! KWIM?

 

Okay random goofiness done ;)!

[Daisy]

The occasional word let fly, doesn't bother me.

 

The person who purposely verbally assaults everyone around them with their fowl mouth irritates me. It shows a lack of respect for those around them and for themselves.

 

An example I vividly remember was standing in line at Target with my two small children and having two high school/college age girls get into line behind me. They were f-ing this and gd-ing that at the top of their lungs. They were purposely drawing attention to themselves and enjoying the scene they were creating. When another young mother kindly asked them to tone down the swearing, they turned their potty mouths on her and told her they could do whatever they f-ing wanted, etc. I left the line and walked out because these women had absolutely no respect for anyone around them.

[HRAAB]

Probably due to my upbringing, I have a very difficult time listening to what I consider vulgarity or profanity. My father had very high standards, and those standards included the words we used. There were no double standards; the same went for men as for women. Words that are so very common today - used constantly on TV - such as butt or fart - would have landed me in huge trouble. It's even hard for me to type them. Yet, I'm know my father would be horrified by some things I say pretty regularly such as cr*p or poop although I never said poop until I had babies. The occasional h*ll or d*amn slip out, too, but then I think of dad and I curb it. I consider all that swearing or crude language.

 

Vulgar language, like the 'f' word really, really bothers me. I don't like it, I don't want to hear it, and I don't want my children hearing it. Some young people seem to have some competition going on to see how many parts of speech they substitute the 'f' word for. My dh has an absolute zero tolerance for vulgar language so we're pretty much on the same page.

 

I know they're just words - letters strung together - but I do feel words have great power. Words can be uplifting and encouraging. Curse words just don't uplift or encourage me. As an adult I can force myself to overlook or get beyond bad language, but if there's too much of it, I tend to quit listening or reading. I do try very hard to never judge people by the words they use. I know some very charitable, kind people that can swear up a blue streak. A good friend of mine, who grew up with family and friends that constantly used vulgar language, helped open my eyes and not be so judgmental. Goodness goes much deeper than language.

 

Still, I will ask people not to use that kind of language around me or my family, and we don't allow movies or music that has vulgar and profane words.

[GWOB]

I was in the Navy, as was dh. My dad was a Navy vet who worked in ports and offshore oil rigs. My mom's family is filled with construction workers. So, I'd say no, profanity does not bother me in the least bit.

 

However, as I have grown and matured, I have realized there is a time and place for such words. I do take into account my audience. If I am around other hs moms or church people, I try really, really hard to use more respectable language.

 

The thing that really gets me is sometimes, a curse word is really just the right thing to say. I hate that so many people try to hide their true selves so they won't offend anyoone. I mean, what is worse? Being fake or letting the occasional f-bomb drop? Once I was in a store with another hs mom. She was having a conversation with the owner and dropped an "Oh s*it!" Seriously, I wanted to hug her right then and there. That made her more real to me. I like real people. Real people curse sometimes. That's ok.

 

I agree with everyone else who said the tone of the words are much more meaningful than the actual words. I have been much more offended by people who haven't said anything even remotely close to a profane word than cussing drunk Sailors. I like to think I'm smart enough to decipher the meaning behind the actual words.

[Garga]

I wish I had time to read the thread!

 

Has anyone mentioned that the words are only bad because of the emotion that is supposed to be behind them?

 

Like the difference between s*** and poop. The first indicates a strong negative emotion. The second indicates a much milder emotion.

 

Somewhere along the line, certain words were used to express a deeply negative emotion or message. And that's what we're reacting to. Not just the letters all smushed together--it's not the sound of the words themselves. It's the underlying negative intent of the words.

 

Now, some people have used the words so much in their conversation that they've removed themselves from the emotion of it. But when people are "offended" by certain words, it's because they're offended by the unspoken negative emotions behind the words.

 

Did someone already say that? I have to go bathe some boys and can't read the rest of the thread...but am interested in this topic.