Homeschool Peer Pressure?

[HS Mom in NC]

Is it just a phenomena in this particular circle of homeschoolers I have run into, or is this more widespread than I think it is?

 

In a large homeschooling group catering to teens populated primarily by secular homeschoolers and various types of unschoolers (are these two factors causal or coincidental?) I seem to run into parents who think it is odd that my 14 year old is not enrolled in college.

 

I don't mean that they mention that college is a possibility for kids 13+ at our local community colleges and universities here in the PHX area. I mean they are asking questions with genuine confusion on their faces and in their voices when they ask my 14 year old, "You're a Freshman in high school!?!? Why aren't you in college yet?" Then they list all the kids in the group enrolled in college. It's not just the parents that ask, it's the kids too.

 

I certainly recognize that it's a legitimate option, and have no problem with other parents choosing it. I feel not the slightest inclination to change what I'm doing to please anyone, and I don't take offense at the questions. I just don't know if this is a strange isolated example, or if this something happening all over the homeschooling community that we should be aware of, and (I can't believe I'm typing this) preparing our kids to resist peer pressure about it if we choose a more traditional time frame for college?

[Barb_]

It seems like this is the norm for this particular group. I don't really see it as peer pressure, just genuine surprise that you would take the "hard" road. Or am I misunderstanding?

[i.love.lucy]

I don't have kids that age, but 14 is too young for college in my state, so it's a non-issue. Sounds like a local thing to me.:confused:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Not early college enrollment, but I have run into homeschool peer pressure for not having my kids (esp. ds13) enrolled in outside co-op classes. I was talking to another homeschool mom the other day and she asked me what ds13 was studying this year. I told her Algebra I - "Oh, did you know this wonderful co-op class on Algebra? You should sign him up!" (That would have been fine as a public service announcement but she mentioned it 3 more times in the next 5 min.) Then she asked what else, so I mentioned our history/lit - "Oh, did you know this wonderful co-op class in history and lit? You should sign him up!" (again mentioned multiple times in the conversation). Same exact scenario when I mentioned Biology. . . . I told dh later and asked him "What's wrong with staying home and actually homeschooling?!" (I have absolutely no problem with her signing her own children up for these co-op classes - it just seemed weird to me that it didn't seem fine to her for my child not to be signed up for them.)

[Elizabeth in WA]

We are together in not having our kids in co-op classes, Jean. But you are right, you are the only homeschooler I know locally who also doesn't do co-ops. Choosing curricula and lesson planning are some of my favorite parts of homeschooling. And, I can't imagine how I could give up an entire day every week to fun electives and still accomplish my goals in our core subjects.

[1bassoon]

Not early college enrollment, but I have run into homeschool peer pressure for not having my kids (esp. ds13) enrolled in outside co-op classes. I was talking to another homeschool mom the other day and she asked me what ds13 was studying this year. I told her Algebra I - "Oh, did you know this wonderful co-op class on Algebra? You should sign him up!" (That would have been fine as a public service announcement but she mentioned it 3 more times in the next 5 min.) Then she asked what else, so I mentioned our history/lit - "Oh, did you know this wonderful co-op class in history and lit? You should sign him up!" (again mentioned multiple times in the conversation). Same exact scenario when I mentioned Biology. . . . I told dh later and asked him "What's wrong with staying home and actually homeschooling?!" (I have absolutely no problem with her signing her own children up for these co-op classes - it just seemed weird to me that it didn't seem fine to her for my child not to be signed up for them.)

 

Not to hi-jack, but Jean, I can SO relate to this.

 

I'm one of the few oddballs down here who does NOT have kids enrolled in co-ops. And when people find out I use TOG w/out a co-op? They think I'm crazy. Like you - hey, if co-ops work for you, go for it. But why am I so strange for not partaking?

 

I don't get it.

[Dobela]

I think that in any group you will have some that need to brag and point out what they think are doing that is superior to you.

[Rosy]

I think moms like to do that to each other, on a wide variety of issues. Extra-curricular activities is the one I see most commonly (as if there's a badge for a mom for each activity she drives her kids to), and on the flip side, there is a pride in forsaking extra-curriculars that I've seen. Doing virtual academies or not doing virtual academies. People start a new curriculum and suddenly are its biggest advocate. I just figure people are insecure and they need to find something that makes them better than everyone else. :P

[Margo out of lurking]

Is it just a phenomena in this particular circle of homeschoolers I have run into, or is this more widespread than I think it is?

 

In a large homeschooling group catering to teens populated primarily by secular homeschoolers and various types of unschoolers (are these two factors causal or coincidental?) I seem to run into parents who think it is odd that my 14 year old is not enrolled in college.

 

Particularly at 14, I think it's just within your hs circle.

 

Many families where I live send their hs kids to comm. college beginning in 11th grade and seem surprised when others don't. I think that's the earliest we can. But there are families who are just as adamantly against it too. I don't know yet what we'll do, although in general I'm not thrilled about the idea.

 

(I'm stuck on wondering why unschoolers would do something as structured and formal as community college at the age of 14. :confused1:)

[Chris in VA]

Maybe they are intimidated by teaching high school, have found a way to relieve that, and can't imagine why someone else would choose to do all the homeschooling herself, since they don't feel that capable.

 

With Jean's situation, similar thing--maybe they have found a way that works and want to share it.

 

Maybe. :D

[DawnM]

Thankfully we do not have that problem. There ARE kids who take classes (you have to be 16 here) at the local CC, but the local CC has changed recently too, so it isn't as easy to enroll anyway, and many homeschoolers can't get the classes they need anymore.

 

My two older boys especially (my bio boys!) are fairly "normal" and typical boys and will NOT be ready for CC at 16, at least in my prediction of their personalities. My youngest is more serious and probably gifted academically (adopted son so he doesn't have our genes! :lol::lol:) and my prediction is that he could handle cc at 16.

 

But at 14, I personally feel that is too young.

 

Dawn

[Lizzie in Ma]

We are together in not having our kids in co-op classes, Jean. But you are right, you are the only homeschooler I know locally who also doesn't do co-ops. Choosing curricula and lesson planning are some of my favorite parts of homeschooling. And, I can't imagine how I could give up an entire day every week to fun electives and still accomplish my goals in our core subjects.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

With Jean's situation, similar thing--maybe they have found a way that works and want to share it.

 

 

If they told me one time, I would say that was the case. And since I tend to be out of the loop about such opportunities, I would welcome the information even if I chose not to follow up on it. But when they tell me over and over in the same conversation, I feel like there is something else there driving them.

[kalanamak]

 

In a large homeschooling group catering to teens populated primarily by secular homeschoolers and various types of unschoolers (are these two factors causal or coincidental?) I seem to run into parents who think it is odd that my 14 year old is not enrolled in college.

?

 

How odd to unschool just to rush to college at an early age....seems very non-unschooly to me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Be careful to not lump ALL kids as too young for college at 14--I have one and he's doing great! His professor stopped me in the parking lot the other day to mention what a great job he was doing. So, as others shouldn't paint the picture that all kids should be in co-ops (which you disagree with) make sure that we aren't painting the picture that no kid should be in college at 14! Aren't we all trying to come up with a plan fore each, individual student, one that will allow THAT child to grow, flourish and learn. Each child's path is going to look different.

 

Who said that they disagreed with co-ops or college at 14? Nobody on this thread. All we said is that we are running into people who push us to do co-ops or college at 14. That's what peer pressure is - a push to do something whether you have valid reasons to do it or not. (And some people will have valid reasons to do these things and some will have valid reasons not to).

[TXMary2]

Not to hi-jack, but Jean, I can SO relate to this.

 

I'm one of the few oddballs down here who does NOT have kids enrolled in co-ops. And when people find out I use TOG w/out a co-op? They think I'm crazy. Like you - hey, if co-ops work for you, go for it. But why am I so strange for not partaking?

 

I don't get it.

 

I've had years where we didn't do co-op and I got looked at like I had a third eyeball.....mainly from the people I used to do co-op with, but no longer do. We just started co-op again this year after taking a couple years off. We got burned out and it wasn't benefitting my homeschool, it was only stressing us out. The drive was also too far and there were too many unlike minded people where we were going. Now we attend a very small co-op that I am part of organizing. We are doing classes that coordinate with and enhance our homeschool and the best part is it is less than a five minute drive from our house!!

 

A TOG co-op sounds fun, but I only know one other person IRL that uses TOG and she is on a different year and unit than we are.

[DesertDweller]

Is it just a phenomena in this particular circle of homeschoolers I have run into, or is this more widespread than I think it is?

 

 

It may be more the norm in your particular group than with homeschoolers in general.

 

I'm in the Phoenix area, northwest valley, but I'm not involved much anymore with other homeschoolers. Most of the homeschoolers I've known, and I went through the homeschool through high school thing with ds, don't seriously start taking college classes until about 11th grade. I did have two friends who enrolled their ds's in one or two college classes when they were in 9th, but they were more the exception than the rule.

 

There is a large co-op in our area that many of the kids take classes at. I've found that many are going that route once their kids start taking some of the harder high school level courses.

 

I've actually been surprised at the number of kids that seem to be taking almost all their classes at the co-op. I don't look down on them for doing that, but I do find it surprising especially when considering the cost. I've calculated the cost of taking 4-5 co-op classes, multiply that times 2 or 3 since some have more than one child, and the cost is unbelievable. At least on my budget! College classes are much cheaper. I think most of those, that I'm aware of, feel that their kids aren't ready for college level classes or perhaps the whole college environment in 9th grade. I'm not saying they are or aren't because I feel it's a very individual decision, but that is what I've gathered.

 

At the same time, I do know parents that feel totally unprepared to teach or facilitate a high school level class. I had one mom tell me recently that having her dd take all or most of her classes at the co-op was the closest thing to high school they could do without actually sending her there.

 

As far as pressure or continually bringing it up in conversation, I guess it's because so many in your group are having their kids take college classes starting in 9th, they are wondering why you aren't following the same path with yours. It's funny how as homeschoolers we go so much against the norm by not sending our kids to public school, but we then expect other homeschoolers to do the same things we're doing. Certainly not everyone is that way, but sometimes people do come across as having the superior curriculum or teaching method and that we should all be following suit.

 

My ds took college classes when he was in 11th grade, but not before. He was more than ready. Dd I'm not so sure. She is taking two co-op classes this year and seems just fine with that. I'd like to see her take 1-2 college classes next year, but I'll wait until in the spring or summer to decide if that 's something we need to pursue yet.

 

Again, it's a very individual thing. I personally think (at least for our family, please no flames from those who have chosen to do otherwise) it's nice to allow kids to have some of that high school experience. Dd and I have talked about it at length, and she's quite happy with things as they are. The co-op has added a nice element to our homeschooling, academically and socially. It isn't all consuming or the whole of what we are doing, but it's a nice component. We're just taking one year at a time as far as outside classes, including college classes, are concerned.

 

Maybe next time it comes up in conversation, you should ask if they feel you're missing something by not sending your ds. Basically, "Gee, you keep bring this up. Is there a reason?" Maybe they're just excited and feel they have to share, or maybe they need to know everyone else is doing the same to reassure themselves about what they're doing.

[Tap]

I think it is just the circle you are with. The kids that are homeschooled all the way, aren't usually the ones out in most social situations. They are more likely to be in groups with other like minded parents.

 

I know families who educated their kids in just about every way imaginable! From all online, no online.

All co-op, no co-op, only non-academic co-op, only academic co-op

Hs k-12 only, variety along the way

Unschooled

Reluctant parent hsing, reluctant student hsing

College at 12...college never (hsing college too-CLEPing credits)

 

 

etc.

 

Ds16 is going to college full time this year...the reason....he has wayyy surpassed me academically. Yep, I can teach him from a book, but he loves discussions and I can't offer anything that we haven't already read. I don't have time or desire to push ahead of him as his interests are Calculus/Physics/Chemistry, so it makes the most sense for him to be there.

 

He doesn't like for me to correct his writing because we do things so differently. For instance, I don't like the style of writing he uses. But he has always been in honors level writing (hs/ps hybrid) and maintains an A. All of his strict teachers think he is doing great and has a great voice...It is just different from how I was taught so I have a hard time grading it.

 

He isn't out of our homeschool because we want him to be done...he just doesn't benefit from it anymore.

Edited September 18, 2010 by Tap, tap, tap

[tex-mex]

In our area in Northern TX, the rule is for Dual Enrollment is age 16 or 11th grade. And the student can only take one class per semester. In the 12th grade, the option grows to 2 classes per semester if grades are good. HTH

 

Personally, I wouldn't let them bother you. Some people who hs have that goal. Doesn't mean you have to do that method. Enjoy the journey!