Husband a little iffy about homeschooling....

[vlgimmelli]

Hello,

 

My husband is a little iffy if it is the right thing to homeschool our son who is 11 years old. I pulled him out of ps last April and homeschooled and he did advance with his Math, but still needs work on his reading comprehension. My husband is thinking that he would not be behind if he were to go to ps. My in-laws told him during the summer that homeschool doesn't seem good ad that our son is getting behind because I am homeschooling. I was very hurt. I want to prove them all wrong. Any suggestions and thoughts. I am a bit down and sometimes doubting myself that I can help my son get ahead.

Thanks

Lillian:001_smile::001_smile:

[Luckymama]

I don't have any advice because I'm a homeschooling newbie but here's a :grouphug: and a bump for the more experienced parents :001_smile:

[Annie G]

Was he behind in reading comprehension when you pulled him out? I'm guessing he was. If so, the public school has had him for several years and he was behind- it just doesn't make any sense that he'll suddenly catch up unless the school makes some changes to what they're doing.

On the other hand, you're new at this and you need time to figure out what works with him - what motivates him- and then I'm predicting you'll see results.

It's hard for me to buy the idea that a paid teacher cares more about your boy's academic success than you do.

But what do I know? I've only been homeschooling for 18 years now, after starting by pulling out two oldest out of school because they were either falling behind or not being challenged.

 

Glad you found this forum- there's lots of support here!

[kwickimom]

I am totally new here and my husband was iffy too, but 5 weeks in he is amazed at what the kids are learning.

 

What curriculum did you use? Is it just reading comp that your husband is worried about?

 

I will of course let all the experienced people comment on what program would help you, or how you could improve, but I am just going to offer support :grouphug: You CAN do this, any mother can. Reesearch like crazy and I am sure you can find a good fit for him.

[NanceXToo]

I agree with Annie! "still needs work" on reading comprehension implies that it's been an issue all along, even when he was in public school. So I really doubt that they can do better than you can.

 

Unless you live in a great school district, maybe you can take a peek at what their standardized test results were last year (here they publish it in the newspapers sometime in July, I believe). Around here, the schools didn't even meet state average. Even though I'm not big on and don't put much stock in standardized testing, it's still nice for me to be able to look at those results and assure myself (and anyone questioning) that I can do just as well as and probably better than they can!

 

And I'd read up on all the benefits of homeschooling and perhaps some of the dangers of public schooling (see some of John Taylor Gatto's stuff!) and include your husband in the process to try to remind him of all the reasons why this is a GOOD thing you are doing, and that putting him back into public school is not the answer!

 

I don't blame you for being hurt by your inlaw's comment, that would really tick me off! Good luck!

[Barry Goldwater]

Hello,

 

My husband is a little iffy if it is the right thing to homeschool our son who is 11 years old. I pulled him out of ps last April and homeschooled and he did advance with his Math, but still needs work on his reading comprehension. My husband is thinking that he would not be behind if he were to go to ps. My in-laws told him during the summer that homeschool doesn't seem good ad that our son is getting behind because I am homeschooling. I was very hurt. I want to prove them all wrong. Any suggestions and thoughts. I am a bit down and sometimes doubting myself that I can help my son get ahead.

Thanks

Lillian:001_smile::001_smile:

 

As the child's mother, you are MOST QUALIFIED, above all others, to teach him. Never doubt that.

 

Regarding the Bold, very understandable, but I wanted to encourage you to not worry about what they think. My practical advice on the reading is 'read read read.' Read for fun, read literature, read twaddle, read for knowledge, read aloud, read silently, read comic books, read newspapers, read instruction manuals, anything. Read on topics he's interested in, whether it's cars, sports, weapons, history, anything he likes. Model a desire for reading by reading by yourself while he is around. Rally DH to help you model, have him read aloud the sports page if that's what it takes.

 

Most HS's discover that children do not learn at the same speed, or at the same rate, as other children, and sometimes the speed of learning varies greatly based on topic, sequence, other distractions, seasons, etc.

 

My question is 'behind whom?' Is he at grade level? Who is deciding that a child is 'behind' or 'ahead?' Huge percentages of PS kids graduate without 4th grade level reading ability...it's not a great benchmark to compare your child. InLaws needs to MYOB.

[Pamela H in Texas]

If you pulled him out in APRIL, then any bit of being behind is because he wasn't getting what he needed in school and/or isn't ready for the next level of work yet. Homeschooling will allow you to find out where he is and continuously help him make progress. You can back up and work on some fundamentals. You can work on it in short spurts throughout the day. You can make sure he has the right amount of practice and repetition for him. You can move on when he's ready. Individualizing will allow him to be where HE needs to be.

[creekland]

Have hubby read this article (Journal article on homeschool success in college):

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=208908

 

Then gradually work on areas that need improvement as shown by testing or whatever. When I pulled my youngest out after 4th grade it took me two years to fully catch him up in math. It's not always homeschooling that's the problem. Many times it's the solution.

[Parrothead]

You pulled your son from PS in April? And your dh and in-laws are questioning why you did not get him caught up in the 4-8 weeks your homeschool was in session? That is absolutely absurd.

 

You need to sit down with your husband and have a talk with him. Presumably you were both on the same page the day you removed your ds from PS. Yes, you are the one home all day doing the vast majority of the teaching. That does not negate your husband's responsibility to you or his son. Why isn't he helping in the evenings or weekends with areas your ds is lacking skills? It is homeschool not momschool.

 

And the day you both decided to pull ds from public school. Your dh needs to stick with his half of that decision, support your efforts. He needs to man up and tell his parents that their concerns are duly noted, but they have no say in the decision. And if his parents can't encourage all of you then they really just need to keep quiet.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would suggest that you get a plan for those subjects that your son has trouble with. I would start with reading comprehension since that is a big concern for your husband. I don't know what books/methods you use, but may I suggest that you post a question on the curriculum board (or here - but usually the curriculum board will get a better response) specifically on reading comprehension? Then once you have a plan, share that plan with your dh. I know that my dh would calm down if he saw that I had one. Be prepared that he might question parts of the plan - esp. if it is different than what he remembers from public school. Do your homework - have answers for 'why' you are going to do it that way. If he's still hesitant, then get him to commit to letting your try it for a month or two. Then do it. Be very consistent for at least a month. If you still have questions then, ask them. We'll help you as best we can, to tweak things for your son because we know that not all plans help all kids.

[Catwoman]

You pulled your son from PS in April? And your dh and in-laws are questioning why you did not get him caught up in the 4-8 weeks your homeschool was in session? That is absolutely absurd.

 

You need to sit down with your husband and have a talk with him. Presumably you were both on the same page the day you removed your ds from PS. Yes, you are the one home all day doing the vast majority of the teaching. That does not negate your husband's responsibility to you or his son. Why isn't he helping in the evenings or weekends with areas your ds is lacking skills? It is homeschool not momschool.

 

And the day you both decided to pull ds from public school. Your dh needs to stick with his half of that decision, support your efforts. He needs to man up and tell his parents that their concerns are duly noted, but they have no say in the decision. And if his parents can't encourage all of you then they really just need to keep quiet.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

And I would also like to add that I would be livid if I were in your shoes. Your in-laws are being entirely unreasonable (and are probably just grasping at straws to find something to criticize because they are anti-homeschooling, not because of anything you've done in terms of teaching your son.)

 

It sounds like your husband was more in favor of homeschooling before he spoke with his parents. I think he needs a little reminder about how important it is for spouses to support each other, particularly to the in-laws (on both sides!)

 

Good luck with your husband and in-laws, but remember that the main priority is your son, and if you've already helped him do well in math, success with reading comprehension will happen, too. The idea that anyone would expect that you would have already solved all of your son's academic problems in less than a few months is absolutely ludicrous, and the thought that things would have been better in public school is just plain ridiculous.

 

Keep coming here -- we'll help you through it all! :)

 

Cat

[Anne in CA]

I have to chime in here to say that reading comprehension was why I pulled my step dd out of ps at the end of fourth grade and began my home schooling journey. She was utterly failing, did not understand much of what she read, and they kept passing her.

 

If you could I would call the school you pulled your ds from and get his reading comp test scores over the last five years and show dh and inlaws that he would not be doing better there. His test scores would almost certainly show he wasn't doing well before.

 

In my case we fixed a lot of reading comp. issues with vocabulary work. Your ds needs to know the meaning of words and how to apply them. One very helpful thing is to read a very interesting book out loud and every hard word, stop, ask your ds what it means, if he doesn't know it, explain the word in context so that he can enjoy the story.

 

Anne

[lisabelle]

My husband was the same way when I told him I wanted to hs our 11yo Matt. This too will be our first year. His main objection was socialization, especially since I enjoy staying at home a little too much. A secondary objective was that Matt and I would get lazy and slip into non-productive habits.

 

Once I signed up with our district's Homeschool Resource Center, he felt a lot better about things. Matt can take classes up there (this semester he's doing Lego Challenge and piano lessons). He'll continue to go to his former elementary school for Orchestra twice a week, so there's another social outlet. At the Resource Center we'll be working with an advisor to develop a student learning plan and will be meeting with her weekly to ensure that we're meeting our goals. After a bullying incident that happened last winter, I pointed out that peer socialization without appropriate adult guidance isn't necessarily a good thing. And then once the curriculum materials I ordered started rolling in he got quite excited about the whole thing. He was planning on *not* telling his parents about our plans, but he even got to the point where he *did* tell them. Why? So that if there's something really expensive we want for Matt's education, he can ask them to help out. Their other son, who lives at home with them with his wife and 2 children, is a public school substitute, so dh wasn't sure how the conversation would go over. But they were very positive about the whole thing and think we'll do a great job.

 

For his part with socialization, dh is planning on getting Matt involved with Boy Scouts (I take classes in the evenings).

[vlgimmelli]

Thank you everyone for the wonderful encouraging words and thoughts. I have started homeschooling my two kids and they absolutely love it. I know in my heart it is the best thing for them both son(11) daughter(4). I am looking forward to getting together and becoming involved with a support group in my area and have him meet other homeschooled kids.

Thanks again everyone. I am thankful for this forum so full of help and support.

Thanks

Lillian:001_smile:

[Cindyz]

Is it possible to do some testing (administered by you) and then retest in a few months so you can see the progress? That might help to stop the negative comments. He might not be where you'd like him to be but if he is making progress, that's important!

[vlgimmelli]

Yes Zenz, I will do some occasional testing to measure his progress. Thanks