bookfiend Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 I just let one out - for the first time ever. Because my two boys began the afternoon with little aggravating behaviors meant to irritate the other while technically being in the right themselves, and I'VE HAD IT. It scared them and me. Now I feel so terrible, I totally just let my anger get away from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 :grouphug: It's ok - really. Just explain to them that Mom had a tantrum and apologize. You forgive them and move on after they blow it, right? (And with those behaviors, perhaps they deserved to be scared a bit.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegularMom Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 That's when I put myself in timeout. In our house, the rule is: 1 minute for each year of your age. So that means I get a 41-minute time out. 41-minute time outs really work wonders for me. ;) Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 :grouphug: It's ok - really. Just explain to them that Mom had a tantrum and apologize. You forgive them and move on after they blow it, right? (And with those behaviors, perhaps they deserved to be scared a bit.) :lol: Yes, exactly - it was a tantrum. Now, most embarassingly I will have to explain it to my husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Wait--all I have to do is scream and I get to be in my room all by myself for 35 minutes? Sign me up! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 I'm embarrassed to admit I've been there a time or two. :blush5: I just admit that moms mess up too. I ask their forgiveness for losing it and explain why their behavior was wrong as well. We all forgive and move on with our day. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Some people consider primal screaming as therapeutic. ;) Just apologize to the kids AND let them know what triggered it - not in a blaming kind of way but in a "this issue" is a sensitive one for me and I am NEVER going to be happy about you pushing that particular button. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 I was very close to that two days ago myself. Due to my bi-polar illness though I never let myself get to that point. For me, there is no guarantee that there would be any coming back if I stepped over that line. My 13 year old sometimes has meltdowns (also bi-polar) and she universally says it is because I yelled at her. I have explained to her repeatedly that I don't yell at her. I do raise my voice and I can understand how as a bi-polar person that could be extremely stressful and difficult for her to handle but as I have also explained to her, she has never heard me scream. I can only think of two or three times that my hubby has seen or heard me lose control. I don't handle stress well but I have a very long fuse when it comes to losing control because for me it is matter of enormous consequences. If that was not the case, I could easily see how this could happen though. Even moms are only human and sometimes kids can be inordinately stressful. Don't beat yourself up over it. Tell your kids you were wrong, that you are sorry and move on. No one expects you to be perfect. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Wait--all I have to do is scream and I get to be in my room all by myself for 35 minutes? Sign me up! :D If you get up, we'll have to spank you. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Most of us have lost it at one time or another. Thankfully, children are usually very forgiving when we own up to our mistakes. One time my oldest, who was about 7 at the time, wouldn't stop playing with a really loud toy that was driving me bonkers. I asked him repeatedly to stop. Over, and over, and over. I lost it. My dh came into the room with me screaming and jumping up and down on the toy. He decided it was time to take ds outside. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 I was very close to that two days ago myself. Due to my bi-polar illness though I never let myself get to that point. For me, there is no guarantee that there would be any coming back if I stepped over that line. . ...Even moms are only human and sometimes kids can be inordinately stressful. Don't beat yourself up over it. Tell your kids you were wrong, that you are sorry and move on. No one expects you to be perfect. :grouphug: Right, so this was the scary part: I didn't make the decision to scream. I've been frustrated with them for a long time, talking patiently, disciplining (I feel) fairly, trying to work through this new phase. I was concentrating on something else and could hear them in the background, beginning AGAIN; I opened my mouth and - Wooohoooo, scream. When it was over, my heart was pounding; and we all had big eyes. I don't recommend this course of action. Next time, I'm going to try the timeout, nap, snack approach I've read about on this board. I've apologized and so have they. It's very quiet here now. Thanks for the smiles and the hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegularMom Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Yes... it's the sweetest deal ever... makes getting older SO worth it! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Right, so this was the scary part: I didn't make the decision to scream. I've been frustrated with them for a long time, talking patiently, disciplining (I feel) fairly, trying to work through this new phase. I was concentrating on something else and could hear them in the background, beginning AGAIN; I opened my mouth and - Wooohoooo, scream. When it was over, my heart was pounding; and we all had big eyes. I don't recommend this course of action. Next time, I'm going to try the timeout, nap, snack approach I've read about on this board. I've apologized and so have they. It's very quiet here now. Thanks for the smiles and the hugs! I would say that most mothers who don't have the same issues I have are probably not as on guard about this as I am but now that you know it could happen you are better prepared to deal with it in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 Next time try a Rebel Yell. More controlled and just as effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 what a great teaching time... no, reallly.... you could all sit down together and make individual lists of things that you know will help you cope with your anger. it might include time outs, counting to ten, a cup of tea, mozart.... then you could each post your list in your bedrooms. that way, the next you or they reach the brink, one of you can say "time to check your list". another one is to choose a really peaceful place and remember all the bits about it, the sounds, the colours, the smells.... and then just before you lose it you can "go to your peaceful place" in your mind. mine is a pond where the turtles come to swim. there are days with my dMIL where i've gone there in my mind a dozen times or more :001_smile:. :grouphug: losing it is no fun, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 Next time try a Rebel Yell. More controlled and just as effective. What is this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 (edited) What is this? Oh dear, I thought you were from NC, you must be a transplant. Um... ever heard a cougar scream? Kinda like that. Edited August 26, 2010 by Remudamom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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