Do you have a set schedule where you say

[DawnM]

"I am not available from 9am-1pm" or the like?

 

I am finding that many people just don't "get" that. Either their kids are in school all day or they have no kids at home anymore.

 

They somehow think that since I am home all day I am available or I can do school later or something.

 

I have had to explain it twice in the last week as people insisted on doing X or Y at 10am instead of 1 or 2pm. I can tell they still don't get it as they continue to make comments like, "Well, mid morning works much better for me." as if I am being selfish for pushing it back to when school is over.

 

Ok, just a little vent this am.

 

Dawn

[MaMa2005]

I just matter of fact say that I teach school in the mornings and afternoons are the times I have available. Surprisingly, I haven't had an issue. :001_smile:

[Hockey Mom]

I just matter of fact say that I teach school in the mornings and afternoons are the times I have available. Surprisingly, I haven't had an issue. :001_smile:

 

I do this too.

 

I also don't answer the phone (unless it's DD or Dh), and I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.

[TheCoffeeChick]

I've told people something similar - pretty much that on weekdays we are unavailable until after lunch, so about 12:30 or 1:00. This year we may even kick that back a little later. I ask people not to call us during school hours and tell them we are available to go places in the afternoons if they would like to get together. I simply say, "We'll be done at about 1:00, how about we meet at 2:00 or if that doesn't work, we are normally available on the weekends."

 

But I am pretty flexible if need be. If there is something we'd like to do I have no problem moving school into the afternoons. This school year we will have our Tuesday school days in the afternoon because we have a play group that meets on Tuesday mornings. I'm okay with that. Also, the zoo or museum is much more pleasant to visit during public school hours because there are not as many people there. If it was just someone who wanted to get together to visit, I'd probably tell them they'd need to wait till school was over for our family.

 

:grouphug: The beauty of homeschooling is that we decide our schedules to fit our family's needs, but some people take that to mean we should fit our schedules to meet their needs too. :glare: Just say sorry we can't make it and move on. They'll either understand or they won't, but really it's not your problem. ;)

[ChrissySC]

I wish. I cannot do that. I work outside of the home. I am often called in the middle of math. I will say, however, that my dc have learned to be interupted and to get back on task. So, I suppose this is a good thing. Yet, I feel bad when grammar is the bedtime story versus an adventure tale! I do not stick lessons into a confined hourly range. I would fail miserably. (Pssttt ... I'm not a "filer" or "workboxer" either.)

 

IMO - I would simply state that you have made other plans. When prompted for an explanation, I would let the individual(s) know that you have arranged lessons for the morning hours that day. You need to make sure that you are not sounding whiney or defensive of your choice, which from your post sounds more like aggravation due to their lack of understanding and consideration. You need to sound matter of fact, and tell them they can go/do by themselves. Tell them have a great time!

 

CAUTION: Soon, however, they will either stop asking altogether, or they will ask you when lessons are being taught. Reality is such a bummer. Your good and true friends will shine.

[DawnM]

We do field trips and museums and such during the day, but I still consider it "school!" ;)

 

This may be an issue for us because I haven't always made it a priority and in the past I have done things in the middle of the day.

 

This year we are buckling down BIG TIME! My oldest is now a 7th grader and he is behind in everything but math and science. Language Arts and anything to do with writing or advanced reading is painful for him and for me and can take us FOREVER to do. But, I have told him it has to be done and that this is our batten down the hatches year!

 

So far (2 weeks in), he hasn't fought it.

 

Dawn

[JMDRAD]

I have learned to make school our priority in the mornings rather than saying we can do it in the evening. I'm careful about taking calls, checking email, etc. while we are doing school. I have one flexible day, Monday, when I schedule appointments. I do count museum trips as school so we do that any day of the week. I'm not totally inflexible but I do try to guard our school time.

[JoyfulMama]

Being able to say no enables me to say yes to the things I/we really WANT to work into our schedule.

[Jyniffrec]

CAUTION: Soon, however, they will either stop asking altogether, or they will ask you when lessons are being taught. Reality is such a bummer. Your good and true friends will shine.

 

So true! I am just now discovering that the friends that have hung around even when I am limited in my time are the ones who also have limited time and understand the constraints. Getting together in person is always a low priority for all of us so no one gets offended.

[knit247]

"I am not available from 9am-1pm" or the like?

 

I am finding that many people just don't "get" that. Either their kids are in school all day or they have no kids at home anymore.

 

They somehow think that since I am home all day I am available or I can do school later or something.

 

I have had to explain it twice in the last week as people insisted on doing X or Y at 10am instead of 1 or 2pm. I can tell they still don't get it as they continue to make comments like, "Well, mid morning works much better for me." as if I am being selfish for pushing it back to when school is over.

 

Ok, just a little vent this am.

 

Dawn

 

Starting today, that is exactly what I am doing. We moved to Germany from the US last year and if any of my family or friends called during school I would drop everything just to hear a friendly voice. Now, my very best friend has moved to Korea and is 7 hrs ahead of me. If I wanted to, I could be on the phone all day with friends and family literally spread all over the world :D

 

We started school this morning and this is the year that I am getting serious. Seriously! I have a message on my Skype that tells everyone when I am available and I will not answer it, nor the phone (for anyone but DH, who never calls anyhow!) during school hours.

 

I am also limiting my computer time to lunch-time and after school only.

[TracyP]

Yes, last year I asked people to call after 1:00. My kids are little so we don't do "school" all that time but if I'm on the phone I've found I'm not being Mom and that is important too. Getting people to respect that is a different story. My SIL called/calls at 7:30 almost every day. My niece (her daughter) has heart failure so I never know if it is something important or if she just wants to chat. My Mom thinks this rule doesn't apply to her so she just calls whenever. I have an extremely hard time just letting it ring but if I turn the ringer off I worry that I might miss an important call.

 

I haven't said anything yet this year but I probably will soon. I feel rude saying I'm unavailable over and over again, but I find others rude who don't respect my wishes. Ugh, I needed to vent too! I don't know the best solution. I'll be :bigear:.

[Veritaserum]

I just matter of fact say that I teach school in the mornings and afternoons are the times I have available. Surprisingly, I haven't had an issue. :001_smile:

:iagree: Although some people still don't get it. :tongue_smilie:

 

ETA: A couple of years ago I stopped answering the phone if it wasn't convenient. At around 2 or 3 I return calls. I do gave caller ID so that I can choose to answer if it seems important. I'll generally answer my dh calling from work, too. ;)

Edited August 9, 2010 by Veritaserum

[Love2teach0307]

We started school last week and I let all my family and friends know that I do not answer phone calls between 8:30 and 12:30, and everyone has been respectful. If my dd thinks for a second that my attention is elsewhere, she's off playing and it's so hard to get her back on focus. This morning she has an ear infection so we're off schedule, but going to get the basics done. Also, on days without other home schooling commitments like drama classes and trips, I do freelance writing from 1:30 to 5:00 and I let people know I work from home and will return their call during my next break. My job is teaching in the morning and writing in the afternoon. This has to take priority to get done right, and I don't think it harms any of my relationships since they know I value them and will have time for them after I work. Anyone who has had to work 8 hours a day understands and respects that.

[StephanieZ]

Yes, it is hard to get that message across.

 

It gets a bit easier with time, as folks either come to realize that you mean it and then accept it OR people who just can't get what your saying migrate out of your life. It is hard for *me* to set this boundary as I like to say yes to everything. It's hard to skip a walk with a friend or miss a playday when theoretically I *could* just do it at a different time.

 

The firmer I am in our schedule, the better things go here. So, I am trying to be less flexible. Every year I get a little more set in my ways, lol.

[johnandtinagilbert]

It can be a pain. I don't answer the phone unless I know I need to talk to someone. If someone wants to make plans, I tell them I'm not available during school hours. If it inconveniences them to a large degree, then I guess we just won't do "it" b/c school comes first. Period. Most of the time, I won't even answer the phone. I have put special rings for the few people I will stop teaching for, so I know if I hear that ring, I can answer. I also tell people email is the best way to communicate planning throughout the day, so I can pick and choose how and when to respond.

 

It takes time for people to "get it" Honestly, as it turned out, the majority of the people I spend time with turned out to be home schoolers. My non-hsing friends were irritated that I actually had to do things with my kids and didn't want to do anything of substance with their dc (as though their children were an inconvenience).

 

Hang in there, be persistent and it will work out.

[elise1mds]

I changed the voicemail greeting on my phone. It says something like, "Hello, this is Sarah. Since school has started, I may have my phone on silent or placed somewhere I can't hear it. I'll call you back when I get a few minutes. Please feel free to leave a message. Have a great day!"

 

This way my friends know that they are welcome to call anytime but that I may not always answer. I have some friends who chronically call at 10 a.m., but they are used to my methods and just leave a message if I don't pick up.

 

When it comes to plans, I have a very difficult time. Since I have one still in school whom I have to pick up at 3 p.m., it means I'm pretty much only open around the lunch hour. The homeschool groups I'm a part of aren't usually able to work around this (which is fine. I'm not bitter. I do get it.), so we are only able to attend things very rarely. My mom's group sometimes will plan things at 10:30 a.m. or later, which I think is sweet of them, so we try to attend when we can. For example, later this month they've planned a lunchtime trip to a frozen yogurt place, and I hope to go.

 

As has been stated, your true friends will work with you. Gleaning them out is the tough part.

[lynds2]

I had to do this last year as well. I do screen my caller ID for DH's calls as he can only call during certain times. It really is no different that if you were working out side of the home. It is your schedule!!

[AHASRADA]

As far as phone calls go, I say I am available between 8-9:30am (before we start school), 12:30-2pm (lunch break), and after 4pm (after school).

 

For appointments and homeschool activities, I relegate these to the afternoon, since the bulk of our schooling (at least the mom-intensive work) happens in the AM.

 

I will make exceptions for specific, pre-planned, large-group events, particularly if educational in nature, and just work our schedule around that one-time activity. This has never been an issue with other hsers, since most school in the AM, and my only unschooling friends sleep late anyway ;).

[Homemama2]

I had to do that my first couple years of hsing bc I had a couple friends who always called during the day and wanted to literally talk for an hour or two. Now most people know my schedule. The only people who usually call are my dh, my mom, my MIL, and my pastor's wife. Also my one good friend who hs's and is usually wanting to meet us at the park for lunch. :001_smile:

 

I do wish we had caller ID like we use to so I could screen calls.

 

I had a girl last night ask if I could watch her three yr. old this fall while she takes classes and goes to work, since "I'm home anyway". But since I know she wants a babysitter for free, I didn't feel too bad telling her no. ;)

[shehmeth]

I do this too.

 

 

 

I also don't answer the phone (unless it's DD or Dh), and I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I do this as well.... we have afternoon activities (Dance, Scouts, etc) so moving to the afternoon is not much of a choice for us...

 

I ask my husband to text me, rather than call, this way I can call him when we're on our break... For the rest of the calls - I let the voicemail pick it up - unless I'm expecting a call (from work or from a Doctor's office or a co-researcher - but even those calls I arrange them to call me in the afternoons).

 

Visits - our visitors know that we're unavailable in the mornings....

 

My biggest thing is myself - sometimes towards midterm and end of the term at work (@ the University where I teach, when I know I'm going to get tons of emails from my students) I tend to check my email more often - and this is an interruption (self-interruption) that I've been working really hard to get rid off... and getting better at it..... ;).

 

Something else we had was House-guests, not so much this year, but there are times when our house seems to have a house guest every month: solution we have a Room & Hoe office - where we can go into, and have our class (or I can work and grade papers) and our guest does not feel s/he has to stay in the guest room until we're done...

 

Kate

[holdoll]

Over the years friends and family have gotten the hint. I answer the phone or door after 3:00 pm. However, for my Dad, I will answer. He's 83 and I don't know how much longer he'll be around. But he's thoughtful and only calls during the day if it's between 12 and 1.

[Mom22ns]

I tell everyone that I am not available before 2:00. I check caller ID, but won't answer the phone unless I really think it is urgent. Usually I just check VM after the call and if it is very important, I will try to call back when the dc are working independently. Otherwise, it waits until after school. We live in the country, the only people who come to our door are the mailman and UPS when there is a package. We all run for that:lol:. School is a priority. I consider it my job. I do work as a consultant, but any clients that are still with me since we've been homeschooling are given the school schedule and although they do sometimes call during the day, they know they will get VM and leave messages sayings so.

[elegantlion]

We do field trips and museums and such during the day, but I still consider it "school!" ;)

 

This may be an issue for us because I haven't always made it a priority and in the past I have done things in the middle of the day.

 

This year we are buckling down BIG TIME! My oldest is now a 7th grader and he is behind in everything but math and science. Language Arts and anything to do with writing or advanced reading is painful for him and for me and can take us FOREVER to do. But, I have told him it has to be done and that this is our batten down the hatches year!

 

So far (2 weeks in), he hasn't fought it.

 

Dawn

 

We've always tried to guard our time. I mean I don't call my friends who work and decide it's time to chat, they're working. But we were more flexible when ds was younger and school took 2-3 hours max.

 

Yes, 7th grade seems like the time to buckle down. For some people I would simply say you're unavailable. For those who need to know you could say your work level has increased and schooling is your priority.

[Greta]

Your good and true friends will shine.

 

I have found this to be true! My friends have been extremely respectful of the boundaries I have set. I do not answer the phone during school hours, but thy know they can leave me a voicemail or send me an email or text and I'll get back to them when I can.

 

I would suggest that if events are getting rescheduled for during your school hours, just say kindly something like: oh, I'm sorry, we won't be able to make it. Next time, they'll know you mean it.