so tired of the whining!

[jentancalann]

of my friends, that is. Public school started this week, and my friends of K'ers are all having a hard time with it. All I'm hearing on Facebook is how my friends don't know how they are going to deal with their kids being gone all day and how now, after school, they are home where they belong. Also "We have to do this everyday?" And, how, on day two, the mother is better but the little sister doesn't want the child to leave. Its just sad. Why don't people understand they don't have to send their kids off? These aren't parents who haven't been exposed to hs, we have so many in our church that homeschool that's its not a crazy thing to do around here. Having been one to put a child in public K when I didn't know any hs'er personally, I do understand the blinders that some have up. But since it is so common now, I am a bit bewildered. One of my friends was going to homeschool til the last minute then put her dd in school because she "wanted to continue to have a close relationship with her as she grows up". What? Its just so frustrating to listen to. Sorry for the rant, just had to get it off my chest!

[mrs.m]

I don't think they are whinning. Their feelings are real and valid even though they made that choice. I "whine" or get down about homeschooling at times and I'm sure many people think I don't have any right to whine because this was the route I chose. It doesn't change the fact that I encounter frustrations daily and I'm not a bot without feelings. I think the same thing about my friends that are sad when the send their kids off to school or encounter a difficult situation involving schooling.

 

Not everyone is comfortable with homeschooling, exposure isn't enough! I wasn't ready for it for a very long time and sent my kids to school. It is hard to let the children go off to school but I think it is even harder to choose to homeschooling.

[Kathleen in VA]

Are these friends you feel comfortable calling on the phone and chatting with? If so, I might just call them and gently suggest that they homeschool. A lot of people, even those who have knowledge of the possibility of homeschooling, don't feel qualified to do so. They have lots of insecurities and are afraid of ruining their children's lives. Also, they may have husbands who are not on board with the idea. If you called and offered to show them how to go about it they might feel less insecure and actually go for it. You might start the conversation by mentioning the posts they've made of FB as a way of introducing the topic.

[jentancalann]

Yes, I've talked to them. One of my friends made the difficult decision to go w/ public school after about a year and a half of talking to me and telling everyone (including anti-hsing parents) that she was going to do it. She's the one who decided at the last minute to go with it, claiming that she thinks her and her daughter will be closer in later years if she's not at home. I'm definitely seen as the go to person when people are considering it. I also consider mentoring and helping people get started as a ministry. I know its not for everyone and that their feelings are very real. I think its just facebook. You "see" so many people and hear their feelings and it does get overwhelming! Sometimes its hard to relate.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

[fairfarmhand]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

 

 

:iagree:

[mrs.m]

Maybe they don't want you to solve the problem for them? Sometimes they just want someone to be a friend and listen. Constant complaining is annoying. Typically, I try to limit my time with these type of people because then I just end up complaining about them. Someone who is having a real feeling about something that is difficult is entirely different.

 

I have a friend who is sending her youngest son to K this fall. She doesn't want to but she honestly doesn't have a choice because of her life situation. She is going to be sad to see him go to school and was almost in tears yesterday talking about it. Telling her about how great homeschooling would be for her son is not very helpful. I don't really understand all of it, but I can listen without giving advice that would require her to totally restructure her life. She'll be sad for a few days but I'm sure that she'll soon get used to him going to school.

 

What seems like a simple and logical solution to me, may not be the solution for everyone. Personally I don't like it when I have a problem and someone pipes in with the "perfect" solution that worked for them. Some things can't be solved and I just want to have my feelings and be supported by my friends. I don't feel like my friend is listening if they are solving my problems for me.

[KellyinPA]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

 

:iagree: Some people DO just like to complain;) I have a very good friend who has struggled with her son (who will be a senior this year) for years with his different issues. He barely passed last year, is taking a summer course on the computer and that has not been going well. To homeschool him, to me, would be the perfect option. She could gear his senior year toward HIS needs and not have to jump through the hoops to graduate from Christian school. If I would mention this to her, I know her response would be that she could never do it, how horrible it would be, etc. Yet, all I've heard for the past 4 years is how horrible it is this way.

So, I just continue to listen, to pray and to love her. That's all I can do.

[Caraway]

I think that is WAY better than "Thank God school has started again! I can't wait to have my days back!" :glare:

[jentancalann]

I think that is WAY better than "Thank God school has started again! I can't wait to have my days back!" :glare:

 

 

True, and unfortunately, I have one of those, too. I just roll my eyes at her and smile cause she knows we are on totally different pages on that one. Different books, actually! She's a great momma and loves those boys to death, but is completely happy sending them off every day so she can have her time alone.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I'm sure there are many moms out there genuinely upset at losing their children all day, who don't see any other option.

 

BUT. I know quite a few people who will often say how much they miss their children (while at school, off visiting family, etc.) but take every chance they get to send the kids somewhere else, and when the kids are home spend no time with them.

 

To them it is the perception of others. (If I post on facebook that I miss my kid... everyone will think I'm a good mom). THAT is annoying. I can't stand seeing "I miss my kids so much!! Can't wait til they get home" when just the day before I was sitting right there when you called up the aunt/grandma/other family member to ask if they wanted to have the kids for a few days. :glare:

[Cindyz]

All I have been seeing on facebook is how they all can't wait for their kids to go back to school. It's sad to me.

[Pretty in Pink]

I think their feelings are valid. Homeschooling is not the be all and end all of education. The first days of school are emotional for many families.

 

And honestly, my eldest and I have been butting heads so. darn. much. lately. I think I understand why parents look forward to 'Back to School'. Whatever. It doesn't mean that they don't love their children unequivocally.

 

Parenting isn't a competition. I don't think I deserve a gold star for homeschooling.

[jentancalann]

I seriously think I didn't put enough thought into my thread title. I don't at all feel that their feelings are unjustified or invalid. I felt the same way leaving my child at school when he went. I just wish more people understood that they don't have to send their little ones away. My goodness, in GA kindergarten isn't even compulsary but parents just do it because its what everyone does.

[mrs.m]

I seriously think I didn't put enough thought into my thread title. I don't at all feel that their feelings are unjustified or invalid. I felt the same way leaving my child at school when he went. I just wish more people understood that they don't have to send their little ones away. My goodness, in GA kindergarten isn't even compulsary but parents just do it because its what everyone does.

 

Right, but that's because we all feel so much pressure to make sure our children get ahead or even just stay caught up. And there's a bit of, that's what I did. (I went to PS at the age of 5. My mom cried.)

 

Even homeschoolers are pushing their kids to start earlier and earlier. I've seen the threads on this same forum! And then they will have to send them to school anyway unless they are able to homeschool.

 

So, no they don't have to send their children to school. But at the same not doing it would feel weird. And in my opinion, would still require homeschooling or the child will enter school behind for his/her age level.

[Mom in High Heels]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

 

Are we friends with the same people? :lol: Many of my friends tell me I should send Indy to school, yet every single time they talk about the school it's to complain. No thank you.

[ChemMommy]

:iagree:

I think that is WAY better than "Thank God school has started again! I can't wait to have my days back!" :glare:

[Dana]

Parenting isn't a competition. I don't think I deserve a gold star for homeschooling.

 

Someone's giving out gold stars?? I want one!!!

 

In some ways I think ds and I might have a better relationship if we weren't homeschooling, but I'm pretty certain dh and I would have a tougher time if I weren't.

 

We did have a good day today though, so that was nice.

[Karen in CO]

Parenting isn't a competition. I don't think I deserve a gold star for homeschooling.

What? Its not a competition?! Oh man. :lol:

 

Anyway. I looked at my little darling today laying across my lap trying to pin me down so that she could force me to play with her and wondered just how much better life would be if she had people to entertain her all day. :)

 

And honestly, homeschooling isn't for everyone. It isn't the answer for every child or family. And every well-intentioned parent isn't going to be successful at it. The beginning of the year is hard for everyone. Just wait until the whining starts here when our school years really start to begin. It will happen here too - it always does. I know I'm not looking forward to trying to convince my dd that she really did like long division last year and that her hand really won't fall off before she can write a paragraph.

[kalanamak]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

 

There is a crowd at work that are like this (and there were people like this at previous jobs). I think that whining is the new conversation for some people, and it is equated with some sort of status, like if you are cheery and helpful you are a schmoe of some sort.

 

For others, I think that if the mother doesn't weep or carry on, she is a heartless child-hater, and that if you loooooooove your child, you are just crushed the first day of school. The weepers (and yes, they come to work and cry) are all pals with one another. But, two days prior, kiddo was off to day care for the day, and goes there after school now, who what is with the weeping? I move onto my ward that is peopled with middle aged men who lament their aging knees and their favorite player, who had a bad night or got busted or both.:D

[kalanamak]

Someone's giving out gold stars?? I want one!!!

.

 

I give them out, but you have to do your best for all subjects, and no back-chat.

[Impish]

I sobbed the whole way home from dropping kids off at kindergarten.

 

Diva was especially hard. Wolf took the morning off to be with us for the first day.

 

The guys at work asked him how Diva did. "Diva was fine, it was my WIFE that was a wreck!"

 

I didn't know diddly about homeschooling at the time. Now, I have the Littles, who will never go to kindergarten...and that's bittersweet. I do remember the excitement of the kids, especially for the first day.

 

Course, that excitement turned into a death march by November. :glare: *sigh*

[Firestar Academy]

I've known some that do this. They complain about everything in the ps system, complain about the homework, complain about the bad behavior their dc are picking up, complain about them being gone all day. I suggest homeschooling; they say that there is no way they could homeschool. They say they aren't patient enough, they don't have the money, they aren't smart enough, basically every reason under the sun that they can think of. Then they proceed to tell me how ps isn't really all bad, and start listing the good things they see about it. :confused: Then the next time I talk to them they are complaining again about ps. I think some people just like to complain. These same people would probably complain constantly no matter where their dc were educated. I don't get it.

 

PLEASE BE patient with these parents. I was one of them. I hated the ps, I hated sening my kids off. I hated the first day of school, i didn;t want them to go. BUT, I have ONE friend that hs. I would email and ask about it. She would answer back, and i would freak, and do ps...until 4 months ago.

She loaned me SL core 3 and we have never looked back. She must have answered 100 emails about this subject or that curriculum. I am forever greatful for the gentle advice.

 

They may be going to you b/c they hope you will eventually convince them to hs. They may really want to do it, deep down, but don't have the courage yet. that is how I was....

 

i even took a summer job to pay for curriculum. (enough $$ for many years to come)

 

Robin in NJ