How to politely tell a Dr. that you don't want him to treat you

[Jean in Newcastle]

My chiropractor is wonderful. He has successfully worked on my very difficult situation for years. He is the head chiropractor in an office that employs 3 other chiropractors. He is the only one that I trust to treat me and my two children. I did try the other chiropractors - once. Each time I left slightly injured. (I'm sure they do fine for "normal" patients since they seem to have a loyal following of their own patients.) I am friendly with all the chiropractors. They all know me by name and we shoot the breeze in the halls when I'm there.

 

The receptionists know my preference and always tell me if I'm scheduling an appointment if my chiropractor is not available so that I can change it to a time when he is there. I also ask each time. On one occasion they called me when he was unexpectedly called out of town so that I could reschedule.

 

Yesterday I went to my scheduled appointment. The Dr. knocks on the door and in came another chiropractor! He apologized and told me that my chiropractor was out of town. Would it be ok for him to treat me and my kids? I felt so put on the spot that I said yes. Both my ds13 and I came out of the appointment hurting more than we did when we went in. It is the next day and my neck still hurts and ds says that one of his legs is now longer! Dd8 had no trouble.

 

Dh was mad at me for agreeing to be treated by this Dr. He says that he could have seriously injured me. I will be extra vigilant with the front desk from now on and will ask when I come in if my Dr. is there, but I'm afraid that something like this might happen anyway - perhaps on the one day I forget. Any suggestions on politely telling someone that you like as a friendly person that you don't want them professionally to treat you?

[Tap]

I would just say

 

"Hi Dr. Blue, Oh...Dr. Green isn't here. Oh, well we will just reschedule with Dr. Green then, he just seems to have that perfect touch for our family." I hope you have a nice day." and leave.

 

The fewer words the better or I end up stumbling over myself. LOL

[Teachin'Mine]

I would probably have done what you did, and be regretting it like you do. :tongue_smilie: I can speak my mind freely - too freely - except in situations like that. If I didn't know them, I'd probably be able to reschedule, but with knowing them as friendly acquaintances it would be much harder.

 

:grouphug: Only advice is to ask each time when checking in with the receptionist so it's easier to reschedule and leave.

[mom31257]

I think it is fine to be nice, but out of concern for other patients, I would feel compelled to tell your favorite doctor what happened. If he is the head, he will want to know.

[StephanieZ]

"Dr. I Like You a Lot, I only want You and only You to treat me and my family from now on. Please note that in our chart and let the receptionist know. I always make our appts with you, but last time we were here, in walked another doctor! I felt put on the spot and agreed to treatment, but I regret it. I really like all your doctors, including Dr. Hurts Us, but we often leave in pain when the other doctors treat us and I am just not willing to do that again. It makes me feel uncomfortable to say no in person, and I don't want to have to change practices to a solo doc just to ensure I get the doctor I expect. Can you help me?"

[Scuff]

A lot of people are particular about only seeing their chiro. I doubt it would have offended or surprised him for you to say no. Don't sweat it. Just say no thanks, we lime to stick with soandso and excuse yourselg.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think it is fine to be nice, but out of concern for other patients, I would feel compelled to tell your favorite doctor what happened. If he is the head, he will want to know.

 

My Dr. knows. He's fixed me for free the other times.:) (This time he can't do that since he's apparently gone for a couple of weeks).

[Jean in Newcastle]

"Dr. I Like You a Lot, I only want You and only You to treat me and my family from now on. Please note that in our chart and let the receptionist know. I always make our appts with you, but last time we were here, in walked another doctor! I felt put on the spot and agreed to treatment, but I regret it. I really like all your doctors, including Dr. Hurts Us, but we often leave in pain when the other doctors treat us and I am just not willing to do that again. It makes me feel uncomfortable to say no in person, and I don't want to have to change practices to a solo doc just to ensure I get the doctor I expect. Can you help me?"

 

I will do this. This will give a second layer of protection for me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would just say

 

"Hi Dr. Blue, Oh...Dr. Green isn't here. Oh, well we will just reschedule with Dr. Green then, he just seems to have that perfect touch for our family." I hope you have a nice day." and leave.

 

The fewer words the better or I end up stumbling over myself. LOL

 

You know what is really funny? This Dr. had a color name!:D

[Harriet Vane]

I have run into this scenario twice, and been absolutely livid about it both times. In each case, I requested an appt with a specific doctor but when I showed up learned that my appt was with another dr. In both cases I was informed that their office policy was that all drs share all patients equally, so any requests for appts were treated as a request for an appt with whoever was available from the practice.

 

I was furious! In one case, our primary care physician had specifically referred us to a colleague he knew well. Our doctor wanted his friend's opinion on our situation. Another doctor would not do.

 

Either way, giving a person access to your body is personal. Period. It's not a good idea to pass patients around like that.

[Peela]

Can you make sure the receptionists know, for sure, that you only want to see your particular chiro and no other? Tell them every time if necessary. Maybe even check when you get there. That way you don't need to deal with the chiro directly- it shouldn't get to the point where you are having to deal with a different chiro directly. It might mean being more diligent and even come across as overly fussy, but you are the patient, and I certainly dont think you are being unreasonable. I know many people would feel the same about a particular chiro.

[RanchGirl]

I can't believe you would rather be "nice" than allow someone to possibly injure you...wow that is really polite! Hope you are feeling better and this doesn't happen again.

[GraceinMD]

"Oh, hi, Dr. ABC. We only see Dr. XYZ. We'll reschedule! Bye!"

 

As a doc, I ASSURE YOU that you are not hurting ANYONE'S feelings. Dr. ABC is doing a happy dance inside since he now has extra free time to catch up on paperwork! (No lengthy explanation needed: if you talk too much, you're taking up HIS time :)!)

 

Ask the staff to put a big note on your chart: Dr. XYZ ONLY.

Edited July 22, 2010 by GraceinMD

[Mallorie]

You know your family better than anyone, it's not about being rude or polite. When you struggle with medical issues and find a routine that works, switching it up with something or someone else IS disturbing. If someone refutes that, the issue is theirs and not yours, and you need not own it. Of course you should be polite about it, it's not necessary to get upset about it unless someone starts to argue the point. Then you make your grievance known, and leave.

 

I think your hesitation to refuse is because many people see doctors and such as authority figures (I struggled with this for a long time, and had many situations like you). While they should be respected for their medical training and expertise, they are still there in a capacity to serve, and like the rest of us, fallible human beings. The doctors that let pride take hold and put themselves in the same class of "gods" leave a bad taste that is easily carried over to other doctors, who are very respectable and understanding.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Can you make sure the receptionists know, for sure, that you only want to see your particular chiro and no other?

 

This is my plan. In fact, I'm planning to call today.

 

It might mean being more diligent and even come across as overly fussy, but you are the patient, and I certainly dont think you are being unreasonable. I know many people would feel the same about a particular chiro.

 

The receptionists already think I'm overly fussy because I insist on supervising them entering the data on our co-pays. This is after 2 years of them messing up our bills big time.

 

I can't believe you would rather be "nice" than allow someone to possibly injure you...wow that is really polite! Hope you are feeling better and this doesn't happen again.

 

You are quoting my husband! (Actually you are saying it nicer than he did. . .;))

"Oh, hi, Dr. ABC. We only see Dr. XYZ. We'll reschedule! Bye!"

 

As a doc, I ASSURE YOU that you are not hurting ANYONE'S feelings. Dr. ABC is doing a happy dance inside since he now has extra free time to catch up on paperwork! (No lengthy explanation needed: if you talk too much, you're taking up HIS time :)!)

 

Ask the staff to put a big note on your chart: Dr. XYZ ONLY.

 

Thanks Grace, I appreciate a Dr's. perspective.

 

You know your family better than anyone, it's not about being rude or polite.

 

 

I know this. I need to keep this perspective under pressure.

[Audrey]

My chiropractor is wonderful. He has successfully worked on my very difficult situation for years. He is the head chiropractor in an office that employs 3 other chiropractors. He is the only one that I trust to treat me and my two children. I did try the other chiropractors - once. Each time I left slightly injured. (I'm sure they do fine for "normal" patients since they seem to have a loyal following of their own patients.) I am friendly with all the chiropractors. They all know me by name and we shoot the breeze in the halls when I'm there.

 

The receptionists know my preference and always tell me if I'm scheduling an appointment if my chiropractor is not available so that I can change it to a time when he is there. I also ask each time. On one occasion they called me when he was unexpectedly called out of town so that I could reschedule.

 

Yesterday I went to my scheduled appointment. The Dr. knocks on the door and in came another chiropractor! He apologized and told me that my chiropractor was out of town. Would it be ok for him to treat me and my kids? I felt so put on the spot that I said yes. Both my ds13 and I came out of the appointment hurting more than we did when we went in. It is the next day and my neck still hurts and ds says that one of his legs is now longer! Dd8 had no trouble.

 

Dh was mad at me for agreeing to be treated by this Dr. He says that he could have seriously injured me. I will be extra vigilant with the front desk from now on and will ask when I come in if my Dr. is there, but I'm afraid that something like this might happen anyway - perhaps on the one day I forget. Any suggestions on politely telling someone that you like as a friendly person that you don't want them professionally to treat you?

 

 

I have this same situation with my eye doctor's clinic. My response is always that I would prefer to see only Dr. XYZ because he's treated me for x number of years and I only feel comfortable seeing him. I say this in an apologetic kind of way, and say that I hope they understand.

 

The other doctors have always replied in a very understanding manner. I've never had the impression they were offended.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have this same situation with my eye doctor's clinic. My response is always that I would prefer to see only Dr. XYZ because he's treated me for x number of years and I only feel comfortable seeing him. I say this in an apologetic kind of way, and say that I hope they understand.

 

The other doctors have always replied in a very understanding manner. I've never had the impression they were offended.

 

Thank you Audrey. I can do apologetic!

[RanchGirl]

"Oh, hi, Dr. ABC. We only see Dr. XYZ. We'll reschedule! Bye!"

 

This sounds perfect. Be friendly and polite and direct and do not feel you owe anyone an explanation, it is your prerogative to choose your health care provider!