Just venting (mourning dog)

[Pamela H in Texas]

I figure that if I vent this, maybe it won't be so prevalent in my/our thinking. Of course, I could be completely off, but...

 

Anyway, as many of you know, our beloved Ozzy (lhasa/terrier mix) died in January. We had another dog at the time, but decided to, just a few weeks later, get a lap dog. Both dogs were absolutely wonderful dogs. However, as our lives got thrown SO far up in the air and we didn't know what we were doing (as well as thinking the bigger dog needed consistency due to her personality), we rehomed both dogs (to absolutely WONDERFUL homes where they are being spoiled rotten). We have no doubt we did the right thing, definitely for Molly.

 

We still don't know what life is going to bring in the next few months. We think it would be irresponsible to get an animal if we'd have to turn around and rehome it within the year. And we can't guarantee we COULD take one (or would, depending on the situation and animal). So getting another dog seems to be a BAD idea.

 

But being without a dog has exasperated our mourning for our dear Ozzy. We miss him so much. It's just all the little things and the comfort he brought. He was SO loving. He gave tons of hugs. He was a monster in lots of ways, but even some of that is worth missing...in our books at least.

 

Anyway, we all are struggling with this a little. None of us believes getting a dog is a good idea in our circumstances currently, but we sure do miss having one.

 

I keep trying to tell myself all the horrible parts of having a pet. But I really think Ozzy (and Molly and Cookie too) were therapy for me in a lot of ways. Between my physical disabilities and the emotional turmoil that goes with that, I just got something a bit more out of it, I think, than most people.

 

Anyway, so mostly I'm just rambling because I REALLY feel the need for a dog. And Ozzy was the best in his own way (and now I can't even look out at his grave-site). I guess I feel like I'm being deprived of something I feel I *need.*

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

 

I hear ya.

 

Is there an animal shelter nearby? Shelters are usually in need of people to walk, play and groom the animals waiting for homes. If you could volunteer a couple of hours a week everyone would benefit.

[Country Mouse]

:iagree:

 

This is just what I was thinking! See if you can find a way to include dogs in your life without adding one to your family. Animal shelters and rescue organizations would probably be glad to have volunteers to love on their dogs.

[linders]

Our local shelter and SPCA both have foster home programs for dogs. Dogs kept in small cages most of the day often get anxious, shy, or even aggressive, so these agencies seek families to keep the dogs in their homes on a temporary basis. They have found that dogs who are used to being with families are better socialized (to people and other pets) and much more adoptable. And even if it is only for a few eeks or months, it gives the dog a better life.

 

I am so sorry that you have had to lose your dogs (even to good homes)!

[Jann in TX]

The rescue shelter we got our latest dog from pays all of the expenses--including food and vet for foster dogs.

 

Sometimes it is difficult to let go of a foster dog when they are adopted--but I've heard it is a bit easier when you know they are going to an approved home.

 

Also in our area there is a huge need for foster families--especially for small dogs and for dogs with pups.

[unsinkable]

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry you miss your doggies!

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: When our huskies died within 6 months of each other I was crushed. It made matters worse as one died on my and dh's anniversary, the other Valentine's Day. We waited two years to get another dog. I still miss the huskies terribly. They were our babies before we had ds.

 

On Christmas 2008 my dh bought me a 3 foot wolf stuffed animal. As crazy as that sounds, I can't believe I'm saying this, I love that stuffed animal. I love my current dog, she's awesome (part lab) but there are times when I still grieve for the huskies. During those times I hug that silly stuffed animal. It makes me feel better.

 

Grief for our pets is real. Just getting another dog doesn't replace the feeling you had about the one that passed away. I would find some way to honor Ozzy's memory, something that will bring you comfort when you need it.

[hornblower]

Foster.

 

There is a dog out there now, frightened at being in a cage, wondering what the heck has happened to his life. He needs a warm place, to feel gentle hands again (or for the first time), to play, to feel safe while he waits for his forever home. He needs someone to step in & help him before his 'time is up'.

 

I couldn't quickly find stats for your state but if it's anything like WV, there dogs only have a 1 in 2 chance of getting out alive.

http://www.snapwv.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=21&Itemid=2

 

I think your Ozzy would want you to help others.

 

:grouphug:

[Pamela H in Texas]

Paula,

 

My ds got a little stuffed dog from one of those crane games (ds is REALLY good at those). Anyway, it has a way of getting into bed with certain people. And this person gave me the dog one morning I was having trouble. And last night, when we were eating, a certain person went to get the stuffed dog to sit near us eating. The dog got "a bite" and then later got fussed at for begging. LOL We're really nuts.

 

Horn, your description of the poor dog in the situation was sad. I don't know if hubby or apt will go for fostering, but I guess I could see about it.

[Lovedtodeath]

I know what you mean Pamela. My little girl is without a cat and I really feel like having one is good for her, but we just can't take care of animals right now. :(

[2cents]

There is a down side to Fostering. Fostering for us was not a good idea...we ended up adopting our foster right out of the gate. I love the little guy dearly and I know if I fostered again I'd end up with a house full of animals. :)

 

I know you talked mainly about a dog but have you thought about a smaller animal like a hamster or guinea pig? They are cuddly and fairly low maintenance and can easily adapt to new situations. I feel for you. I can't imagine not having our fur-babies around. :grouphug:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

 

 

 

But being without a dog has exasperated our mourning for our dear Ozzy. We miss him so much. It's just all the little things and the comfort he brought. He was SO loving. He gave tons of hugs. He was a monster in lots of ways, but even some of that is worth missing...in our books at least.

 

 

:grouphug: Pamela, I'm really glad you posted this. We buried Trixie (cutie pie in avatar) Friday night and the pain is just unbelievable! I never knew it could hurt so much!

 

LET IT OUT here, in a journal, with your dh, with friends, however you need to. We've been crying all weekend here. I don't know how people ever go on to love another dog again. I feel completely blindsided by this level of pain and loss.

 

Do what you need to do to get by. (btw, I didn't mean to come across as rude or insenstive to say "don't know how people can go on and love another dog again". It is so fresh for us. I understand that we may not feel this way forever.)

[hornblower]

We buried Trixie (cutie pie in avatar) Friday night and the pain is just unbelievable! I never knew it could hurt so much!

 

 

Aw no. I'm so sorry. :grouphug:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Frankly, I just don't know how people can do this over and over. I can't stop crying today.

 

People who have lost multiple dogs and go on to keep adopting over and over again must be the strongest people in the whole world! :crying:

 

I'm working on her scrapbook. I keep thinking the words, "my children have never known life without her in it." My youngest (who will turn 4 next week) just asked, "can I give Trixie some food?" :crying::(

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: Pamela, I'm really glad you posted this. We buried Trixie (cutie pie in avatar) Friday night and the pain is just unbelievable! I never knew it could hurt so much!

 

LET IT OUT here, in a journal, with your dh, with friends, however you need to. We've been crying all weekend here. I don't know how people ever go on to love another dog again. I feel completely blindsided by this level of pain and loss.

 

Do what you need to do to get by. (btw, I didn't mean to come across as rude or insenstive to say "don't know how people can go on and love another dog again". It is so fresh for us. I understand that we may not feel this way forever.)

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry for you loss.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

I keep thinking the words, "my children have never known life without her in it."

I know!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'm sorry you lost your Trixie. And we have missed him all along. At first, I said I was NEVER getting another dog because I never wanted that pain again. I even considered rehoming our other dog at that time so I'd never have to suffer like that again. And our dog, Molly, was SO depressed herself. She gained A LOT of pain after Oz died. She would go right out the door, potty, and come right back in. She wouldn't explore, play, anything. She would go check out Oz's grave, but nothing else. We even started letting her on the couch (we covered it as she was black and it was white). But she just couldn't get comforted enough. So we got Cookie thinking she needed a playmate and we needed a lapdog. It definitely helped in a few ways to have Cookie, but I FREAKED OUT anytime anything wasn't perfect. She went to the vet a few times unnecessarily. And we still missed Oz so much. Now that we don't have any of them, we miss Oz even more. It's been almost 7 months and it's still SO RAW!

 

We are being honest about it. And we're joking about this little stuffed dog (hubby fussed at it for being on the couch when we came in. LOL). It's just our way of dealing with it.

 

I thought about a service dog since I have my own needs, but....I worry about getting a dog at all because of our up the in the air life. And I worry about getting one because it'll die eventually. And I really just want Ozzy back and THAT can't happen.

 

And all this time later, I drop some food and immediately catch myself from calling Oz. Or wish I had him to take for a walk when I see other people walking their dogs. And I wonder what he'd think of VA.

 

Trixie will still hold a place in your hearts for a long time. My mom lost her special dog 6 years ago. We all loved Giz. Her current dog is sweet and such, but just isn't Giz. And we all remember after all this time. But I think most people probably do go on to get another pet eventually. I doubt they ever feel about the new dog the way they did about that special pet. I think everyone has that one great pet.