Am I over protective ?

[StartingOver]

 

I was sitting here looking out the window after reading another blog, discussing that parents have become helicopter parents. That there is a movement to allow our children more freedom to be independent, or free range kids.

 

I am an older parent, I have children in their 20’s and babies. Twenty years ago I live in a rural area on the edge of a river. I was a helicopter parent in the younger years, until my children could swim. Then they were free to roam within a certain distance. Our road only had one way in and one way out. We knew all the neighbors and we all looked out for each others children.

 

I must admit that I am a total helicopter parent again, as my babies are only almost 4 and 2. They don’t even go out in the yard without us. Some may call me paranoid, that’s ok. I can take it.

 

When they are a bit older maybe we will live in a place that is more free range friendly.

 

As I was looking out that window a few minutes ago, I saw a tiny 2 year old dashing from her Great Grandma’s house to her Grandma’s house. The distance isn’t far, about 2 city blocks. She was running on the edge of the road. Neither grandparent was watching.

 

In some places this wouldn’t bother me, but you have to understand where we live. We are on the edge of town, a small town that is relatively sleepy. But just across the street from our homes is an huge RV park. We have large RV’s go up and down the road all day long. As well as their guests, many do not follow the speed limit.

 

It also means that strangers are very near to our children constantly.

Maybe I am just a worry wart, but every time I see this little girl out there, I have to step out to make sure she gets there safe. I know the odds are that nothing will happen to her. But my mommy mind says that we have to protect them at all costs.

 

( P.S. she is just here on vacation, she is well loved and taken care of. But sometimes the freedom she has scares me ! )

 

 

 

 

[Joanne]

I don't know if you are overprotective or not. I can encourage you instead of thinking in terms of polarities: helicopter vs. free range, try to find comfort in the reasonable (IMO) middle.

 

In terms of a board like this, I lean more towards the free range side. Even then:

 

I must admit that I am a total helicopter parent again, as my babies are only almost 4 and 2. They don’t even go out in the yard without us. Some may call me paranoid, that’s ok. I can take it.

 

Being outside with a 2 and 4 year old seems to be a no brainer. Now, I'd take a book, sit and read/watch, but I would not open the door and let them "go" without me.

 

Likewise:

 

As I was looking out that window a few minutes ago, I saw a tiny 2 year old dashing from her Great Grandma’s house to her Grandma’s house. The distance isn’t far, about 2 city blocks. She was running on the edge of the road. Neither grandparent was watching.

 

This would make me uncomfortable.

 

 

OTOH, I *don't* believe it's a big, bad world. I don't believe that strangers in abundance are waiting to abduct, molest or slay my kids in front of their homes, in public bathrooms or in dressing rooms. I believe the media's presentation of such *****exceedingly rare****** situations horribly skews people's perception of risk.

 

I let my kids eat, cook, play outside and generally "live" when they are unsupervised. (They are 15, 13 and 11).

[happi duck]

(Disclaimer: I've been called overprotective)

 

I would be concerned about the visiting two year old. If it is 'just' two blocks I would hope the adults on either end would walk the girl and meet in the middle. I'd be tempted to go outside and either watch the girl or take my own kids for a walk to keep her company.

[RobinF]

We are protective and readily admit it. It only takes one moment for an accident to happen in your childs life to change that forever. We have a fenced backyard with 2 dogs that are boys can freely play in. If they want to ride their bikes then one of us is outside or going in and out to check on them (the 6 and 3 yo). The older two (8 and 10) can ride to the end of our street and back. The older ones can play out front by themselves.

 

I think a 2 yo needs supervision and running along a street whether busy or not isn't safe. They don't at that age understand the consequences of their actions.

 

I know when I was younger I had a lot more freedom than we give our boys. But I was exposed to porn as a child at a friends house. I was in countless accidents riding three wheelers in our rural community. I survived but there were scars.

[StartingOver]

(Disclaimer: I've been called overprotective)

 

I would be concerned about the visiting two year old. If it is 'just' two blocks I would hope the adults on either end would walk the girl and meet in the middle. I'd be tempted to go outside and either watch the girl or take my own kids for a walk to keep her company.

 

I would have no problem with a 5-6 year old making that walk, after proper instructions on pedestrian rules. Although I might still step outside. But a 2 year old, I know mine don't stay on task long, and a 2 block walk would be huge. I can't see mine not roaming out into the street, or stopping to pick flowers LOL.

[K&Rs Mom]

I'm pretty free-range, but it's different for a 2yo. Mine are allowed to play outside without me starting somewhere around their 4th bday, but they know that if they don't respect the boundaries I've set they lose that privelege. In your situation, the traffic would scare me, but not really the strangers. It's nice that there are people along her route who will watch out for her - grandma & great-grandma are probably counting on that, because it was likely the situation when their kids were small.

 

I don't think you're being overprotective, but it's also not your choice if the 2yo is allowed to do this.

[StartingOver]

We are protective and readily admit it. It only takes one moment for an accident to happen in your childs life to change that forever. We have a fenced backyard with 2 dogs that are boys can freely play in. If they want to ride their bikes then one of us is outside or going in and out to check on them (the 6 and 3 yo). The older two (8 and 10) can ride to the end of our street and back. The older ones can play out front by themselves.

 

I think a 2 yo needs supervision and running along a street whether busy or not isn't safe. They don't at that age understand the consequences of their actions.

 

I know when I was younger I had a lot more freedom than we give our boys. But I was exposed to porn as a child at a friends house. I was in countless accidents riding three wheelers in our rural community. I survived but there were scars.

 

I was left to free range also when I was young, and it did more harm than good in my opinion. My older children were somewhere in the middle. Hovered over before 5-6 years old, and allowed more freedom later if they stayed in packs.

 

I don't think there is evil lurking around every corner. But I also don't feel a 2 year old is mature enough to venture out. I would surely allow my children to play in a back yard that was fenced, even at their ages with me checking on them, or viewing them through a window. But not in my front yard with just a chain link fence that the 3 year old can climg. And a gate the 2 year old can and has squeezed through LOL.

[StartingOver]

I'm pretty free-range, but it's different for a 2yo. Mine are allowed to play outside without me starting somewhere around their 4th bday, but they know that if they don't respect the boundaries I've set they lose that privelege. In your situation, the traffic would scare me, but not really the strangers. It's nice that there are people along her route who will watch out for her - grandma & great-grandma are probably counting on that, because it was likely the situation when their kids were small.

 

I don't think you're being overprotective, but it's also not your choice if the 2yo is allowed to do this.

 

 

Oh I understand it is not my place to say anything. I was just worndering if I was the exception or the norm. LOL

[LibraryLover]

I don't personally know any parents of 2 year olds who are allowed to be out on the road alone. I personally have never seen a baby on the road alone, although I know that this is often a reason protective services are called. Some children are good escape artists, and it happens. As a rule, it seems neglectful.

[StartingOver]

I don't personally know any parents of 2 year olds who are allowed to be out on the road alone. I personally have never seen a baby on the road alone, although I know that this is often a reason protective services are called. Some children are good escape artists, and it happens. As a rule, it seems neglectful.

 

Oh I have. When we live in the next town over before Quince was born, we had a neighbor who would lose her kids all the time. I don't know how many times her little 18 month old would be over by my house, or on the next street. A lot of the neighbors called and reported it, and it still took months for them to do anything.

 

My own nephew got out of the house years ago, and was walking to the corner store to find his grandpa ( who would go for coffee every single morning and when my nephew stayed the night he would to with him ), he was 3 at the time.

 

There was a 2 year old just last year who left the house at night searching for his mom, who was out, while grandma was watching him. He was hit on the road by a semi.

 

I have hooks at the top of my exit doors that my 3 year old can't even reach with a chair. It is my $.50 insurance policy !

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't think that supervising toddlers and preschoolers as they play outdoors is 'helicopter parenting'. I call that common sense.

 

I'd say the parents who let a 2yo run two blocks by herself down the side of any road are idiots.

[Angjune]

I would never let a 4 and 2 year old roam free. In fact, where we live, I don't think I've ever seen it. Parents are always with their little ones at the park - they never run free. You are def. not overprotective!

[StartingOver]

I don't think that supervising toddlers and preschoolers as they play outdoors is 'helicopter parenting'. I call that common sense.

 

I'd say the parents who let a 2yo run two blocks by herself down the side of any road are idiots.

 

Yes but these are grandma and great grandma, who grew up right here. Back then there was nothing else on this road. The brother of the grandma owns 13 houses here, that are rented out execpt for the two with the family members in them.

 

I think these ladies might see it differently than I do?

 

I consider it totally common sense, but this isn't the first time I have seen this little girl outside of grandma's yard alone. Maybe they feel more secure than I do in their childhood neighborhood?

 

(Mom is in N. Texas, the child is only here for a little while. )

 

I could never do it !! I am over protective of my little ones !

[3littlekeets]

Oh no, you are certainly not overprotective; you are wise.

 

For me, helicopter parenting involves parents who won't let their children have age appropriate freedoms. For instance, at my daughter's dance studio, there are parents of 9-12 year old girls whose parents refuse to leave because they want to "make sure" their precious daughter is getting "enough attention" and center positioning in routines...that's helicopter parenting.

 

At my Univ., parents occasionally email me to see what assignments there students will miss if they take their children on vacation :confused: -- or to check on absences (which I can't tell them, by law!). Helicopter parenting.

 

Watching toddlers-- common sense :D

[akmommy]

No, you definitely are not overprotective. I was always outside with my kids until about 4-5. The house we lived in when they were all that size was on the corner of a rather busy street and we had no fence. So, until I was sure they would not wander off I was always right there. Two is definitely to young, in my opinion, to be walking two blocks on her own. Most two year olds I've known have very little fear and no common sense, they really are still babies in terms of their own safety.

[Wheres Toto]

Mine is going to be 3 next month and there's no way she would stay on task long enough to walk 2 blocks. I don't think my almost 5 year old would (but he's a special case).

 

Would a two year old really understand where they are going? Are they going to recognize great-grandma's house as the right house out of 20 houses they are passing? I hope someone is waiting for her outside at the other end?

[RobinF]

I was left to free range also when I was young, and it did more harm than good in my opinion. My older children were somewhere in the middle. Hovered over before 5-6 years old, and allowed more freedom later if they stayed in packs.

 

I don't think there is evil lurking around every corner. But I also don't feel a 2 year old is mature enough to venture out. I would surely allow my children to play in a back yard that was fenced, even at their ages with me checking on them, or viewing them through a window. But not in my front yard with just a chain link fence that the 3 year old can climg. And a gate the 2 year old can and has squeezed through LOL.

 

I think that is our issue, we want our children to have appropriate freedoms but we also know that bad things can happen. We have found what we are comfortable with but there is always give and take.

 

 

 

Oh no, you are certainly not overprotective; you are wise.

 

For me, helicopter parenting involves parents who won't let their children have age appropriate freedoms. For instance, at my daughter's dance studio, there are parents of 9-12 year old girls whose parents refuse to leave because they want to "make sure" their precious daughter is getting "enough attention" and center positioning in routines...that's helicopter parenting.

 

At my Univ., parents occasionally email me to see what assignments there students will miss if they take their children on vacation :confused: -- or to check on absences (which I can't tell them, by law!). Helicopter parenting.

 

Watching toddlers-- common sense :D

 

I have heard of parents calling to follow up on job interviews for their children...we aren't that bad. :D

[woolybear]

I don't think that supervising toddlers and preschoolers as they play outdoors is 'helicopter parenting'. I call that common sense.

 

I'd say the parents who let a 2yo run two blocks by herself down the side of any road are idiots.

:iagree: Well said, sistah!

[StartingOver]

Mine is going to be 3 next month and there's no way she would stay on task long enough to walk 2 blocks. I don't think my almost 5 year old would (but he's a special case).

 

Would a two year old really understand where they are going? Are they going to recognize great-grandma's house as the right house out of 20 houses they are passing? I hope someone is waiting for her outside at the other end?

No, they don't watch for her. But I do ! Luckily she is only here for a couple of days and I can see both houses. So as I sit here in this chair most of the time, I keep an eye out for her.

[Wheres Toto]

No, they don't watch for her. But I do ! Luckily she is only here for a couple of days and I can see both houses. So as I sit here in this chair most of the time, I keep an eye out for her.

 

I'm glad someone is. I know we have no right to control other people's choices but there is just so much that can go wrong here.

[mom2denj]

I don't think that supervising toddlers and preschoolers as they play outdoors is 'helicopter parenting'. I call that common sense.

 

I'd say the parents who let a 2yo run two blocks by herself down the side of any road are idiots.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Peela]

I woudl allow a 2 and 4 year old out into a fenced in and kid proofed backyard, no worries. I would check on them very frequently, but I wouldalso be busy doig something else.

We had a huge backyard with a run down tennis court in it when my kids were that age. We coudl see the backyard from the loungeroom. They wouldtake their little tricycles to the tennis court and ride around and around. No, I wouldnt sit out there and watch them. I woudl be doing something else, and staying in tune and checking on them regularly. No swimming pool though- if we had a pool, they wouldnt have been allowed out there.

However, I am talking quiet middle class suburbia.

 

However, NO WAY would I allow a 2year old to walk 2 blocks on their own! What? People do that? A 2 year old? With roads and cars and everything? No one watching? I do find that pretty extreme and I too would be out there checking the baby was ok and made it safely!

[newbie]

I don't think that supervising toddlers and preschoolers as they play outdoors is 'helicopter parenting'. I call that common sense.

 

I'd say the parents who let a 2yo run two blocks by herself down the side of any road are idiots.

 

:iagree::iagree: