Ultimately who do you see as the ones responsible for kids' education?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I strongly believe that parents are responsible for their kids' education. I feel that any schooling option that is not direct teaching by the parents at home is a form of delegating that responsibility. I'm not saying that it is wrong to delegate that to someone - after all we delegate many other tasks to others. But it is still delegation.

 

So if a parents sees the ones they delegated their kids' education to not doing their job, I then see it as the parent's responsibility to do something about it. Perhaps that is by advocating for the school/teacher to do a better job, supplementing at home or by taking on the responsibility directly through homeschooling.

 

What do you think?

[StartingOver]

I strongly believe that parents are responsible for their kids' education. I feel that any schooling option that is not direct teaching by the parents at home is a form of delegating that responsibility. I'm not saying that it is wrong to delegate that to someone - after all we delegate many other tasks to others. But it is still delegation.

 

So if a parents sees the ones they delegated their kids' education to not doing their job, I then see it as the parent's responsibility to do something about it. Perhaps that is by advocating for the school/teacher to do a better job, supplementing at home or by taking on the responsibility directly through homeschooling.

 

What do you think?

 

:iagree:

[OrganicAnn]

I think parents are until a certain point and then the kid is responsible for their own education. Actually not a point, but a transition, where the child assumes more and more responsibility. The point when the child is totally responsible is ... I'm not sure atleast 18 (college).

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think parents are until a certain point and then the kid is responsible for their own education. Actually not a point, but a transition, where the child assumes more and more responsibility. The point when the child is totally responsible is ... I'm not sure atleast 18 (college).

 

How do you think that responsibility plays out?

[junepep]

I think that some parents have neither the means or ability to supplement; the knowledge or time to advocate; or the realization that they CAN teach their children.

 

In my oppinion, the women and men who come to this board are fairly empowered people.

 

There are far too many people who believe that they cannot change anything, far too many people who will not even vote or sign a petition or speak out against injustice.

 

To then tell them that they should be teaching their children, when they specifically believe that there are people in place who's lives are dedicated to that purpose would seem to them to be an utterly counterinuitive propositition. A lot of very smart people are totally helpless when it comes to the idea of teaching their children. As some of them might point out, there are professionals for that who undergo 6 years of training at a minimum (for a masters which teachers in my state are expected to obtain) -- how on earth could a simple parent with an average education do any better they might ask.

 

I believe that it is my place to teach my children. It's why I homeschool. If I couldn't afford to homeschool I'd be afterschooling and heavily involved in the local PTA. However, I've chosen this battle as my own. It's the one that I'm willing and able to fight. But my dedication to this route means that all of the other causes that I used to care about (including many of my hobbies) have been put aside and left by the wayside.

 

Not everyone is me, and I'm so happy for that, because there are so many other issues out there in the world today than my two precious children.

[Murmer]

Parents are responsible, at least to set a foundation for others including their children to build on. Including talking to their children giving them experiences even if it is just helping with chores and making responsible decisions in their own lives for their childrens sake. Any responsible parent can do these things regardless of income, language or educational background.

[OrganicAnn]

Well my DD is 6 so I haven't thought too much about that far ahead. I'm always a little shocked when I hear of parents helping college kids with papers. I don't think my parents help me with a paper after middle school and they let me pick all my high school classes (with the only exception that they strongly encouraged me to take typing so I could type my own papers in college - shows how old I am since this was before PCs). So based on my own experience - I think kids should be responsible for doing the work and to a large extent for deciding on classes/subjects. They never told me what classes to take in college. I was expected to graduate in 4 years and do well enough to keep scholarships etc. Of course if I was a person who was not making good choices, I suppose they would have eventually said something.

 

My parents did the same for my older brother (Phd Physics and younger sister BA Microbiology). They might have been called relaxed afterschoolers, since we learned as much outside the class. Educational trips, enriched environmnet etc.

Edited May 22, 2010 by OrganicAnn

[Mama Anna]

Well, I see myself as ultimately responsible for my kids, period. Which isn't really a good thing because according to my faith God is, with me just being a steward. I do see education as part of the responsibility that weighs so heavily on me. However, I wasn't always this way and occasionally the earlier "just ship'em off" mindset comes 'round to haunt me.

 

At the times when I'm thinking maybe the teacher should be responsible for the education, it all comes back to me because I'm lucky enough to be the teacher. :D

 

Now, if dd3 is actually interested in doing Calculus in highschool (by some random chance) I don't know that I'll still be the teacher. :eek: But right now I am.

 

Before I came around to wanting to homeschool my kids, I thought that the school had that responsibility.

 

Mama Anna

 

(Who really, really needs to get off, do dishes, fold laundry, do budget, and plan school for next week. :leaving: )

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think that some parents have neither the means or ability to supplement; the knowledge or time to advocate; or the realization that they CAN teach their children.

 

 

 

These are the people who should delegate their kids' education. My ILs are first generation immigrants. They recognize how important education is. They trusted the public schools to educate their kids but they also made sure that their kids were getting the education necessary. They did not know English well but they did not lose sight of their responsibility. I do know that there are people who do not know that it is their responsibility or that sending them to school is delegation of that responsibility. I think that is due to some people (esp. the government) telling people that no, it is really the government's responsibility for the education of children in the land.

[Saille]

I'd agree with both you and OrganicAnn. I'll be following SWB's transition process for helping a child become more independent and responsible for his/her own education.

 

That said, I think a lot of people, both parents and teachers, tend to jump the fence on this issue. As an example, a friend who had been working with school staff to resolve her daughter's problems in class (inattention, etc.) was working with her on academics at home. When the school found out, they became defensive and told her to stop. There's a war between the desire for parental involvement and professional territorialism. Parents as a group wage, to a greater or lesser degree, an internal battle between the deference our society accords to teachers and their own instincts when things don't seem right for their child.

[Lolly]

Ultimately, the child. It really isn't something that can be forced. As the parent, I am the facilitator. With some, it is best to mostly advise. With others, pour the knowledge in. With most, instruct and guide.

[LisaKinVA]

Parents. The buck stops here.

[junepep]

These are the people who should delegate their kids' education. My ILs are first generation immigrants. They recognize how important education is. They trusted the public schools to educate their kids but they also made sure that their kids were getting the education necessary. They did not know English well but they did not lose sight of their responsibility. I do know that there are people who do not know that it is their responsibility or that sending them to school is delegation of that responsibility. I think that is due to some people (esp. the government) telling people that no, it is really the government's responsibility for the education of children in the land.

 

Yes, I would absolutely agree with that. It's interesting that we don't have some form of private advocate system here (that I know of). It would seem as though it would be enormously popular (but poorly paid ;)).

[lionfamily1999]

What do you think?

I think , in the long term, it's the students responsibility. Sure, a grammar school student should not have that put on their shoulders, but it is up to them to do their best.

 

I'm so blessed to have kids that don't have issues, I'm blessed to have kids that learn quickly and easily. All the same, my older two are lazy. Right now, dd is cruising with all A's, but she isn't trying and that will bite her in the hiney eventually. Older ds can be as stubborn as a mule and that will be something that he'll have huge issues with if he can't get over it as a child. These are problems that they have that I can't force them to get over. I can't force them to go the extra mile on their own, it's up to them to do that.

 

All the same, I know a girl dd's age whose parents are drug addicts. This girl suffers from ADHD, but she gets herself up, makes her own breakfast and gets herself to school on time every single day. She gets straight A's because she works hard for them. Of the two, this girl has future success written all over the place, because she's already become responsible for her own education. DD is happy cruising along, letting everyone spoon feed her what she needs to make the grade.

 

I say this thinking more from the 'who would you blame for an ill educated adult' pov, than 'who do you blame for a badly educated child.' Ultimately, a person's future is in their own hands.

[T'smom]

I think , in the long term, it's the students responsibility. Sure, a grammar school student should not have that put on their shoulders, but it is up to them to do their best.

 

I'm so blessed to have kids that don't have issues, I'm blessed to have kids that learn quickly and easily. All the same, my older two are lazy. Right now, dd is cruising with all A's, but she isn't trying and that will bite her in the hiney eventually. Older ds can be as stubborn as a mule and that will be something that he'll have huge issues with if he can't get over it as a child. These are problems that they have that I can't force them to get over. I can't force them to go the extra mile on their own, it's up to them to do that.

 

All the same, I know a girl dd's age whose parents are drug addicts. This girl suffers from ADHD, but she gets herself up, makes her own breakfast and gets herself to school on time every single day. She gets straight A's because she works hard for them. Of the two, this girl has future success written all over the place, because she's already become responsible for her own education. DD is happy cruising along, letting everyone spoon feed her what she needs to make the grade.

 

I say this thinking more from the 'who would you blame for an ill educated adult' pov, than 'who do you blame for a badly educated child.' Ultimately, a person's future is in their own hands.

 

I was your daughter. Everything was easy for me and I didn't have to put any real effort into anything. In high school, it was a game for me to see how well I could do (grade-wise) without doing anything. I wrote papers on books I never read and only paid attention in math the day before the test (when everything was reviewed). Speaking from that experience, I would have her research brain development and maybe find some books on personal responsibility. I would try to find some way to get through to her. I honestly thought that the important thing was the A. Not the education. It is my biggest regret. Tell her about me. My poor education is totally my fault. I'm really sorry if I'm overstepping here, just ignore me or tell me to buzz off. I'm not sure there is anything my parents could have done to change my thought process and I certainly don't think that it would be your fault if you couldn't change hers. Just my .02

[lionfamily1999]

I was your daughter. Everything was easy for me and I didn't have to put any real effort into anything. In high school' date=' it was a game for me to see how well I could do (grade-wise) without doing anything. I wrote papers on books I never read and only paid attention in math the day before the test (when everything was reviewed). Speaking from that experience, I would have her research brain development and maybe find some books on personal responsibility. I would try to find some way to get through to her. I honestly thought that the important thing was the A. Not the education. It is my biggest regret. Tell her about me. My poor education is totally my fault. I'm really sorry if I'm overstepping here, just ignore me or tell me to buzz off. I'm not sure there is anything my parents could have done to change my thought process and I certainly don't think that it would be your fault if you couldn't change hers. Just my .02[/quote']

Preaching to the choir. Straight A's through school, bombed my first two college courses miserably.

[elegantlion]

Because I have taken the responsibility, it's mine. At some point I will hand over the reins to him, hopefully. Dh takes the responsibility of many life skills, but he'd do that regardless of where ds was being educated.

 

My parents saw it as the school to be responsible, unfortunately the school never showed me how to take ownership of it and my parents trusted they were doing their job. I could have really used guidance in high school to make better choices.

[Ester Maria]

For the first say decade and a half, it comes down to the parents' responsibility. They are the ones who decide in which "cultural spirit" and with which values the child is going to grow up, what kind of school they are going to attend (which also implies what kind of social circles the child is going to be influenced by and make part of) and what types of activities will be encouraged; basically they are the ones who are responsible for a good start.

 

The child, however, is a complex organism. Not everything is parental culture or even societal values, some of it is genetics, some of it are things they discover on their own, and the older they are, the more "accountable" they become for their own education. While the level of emotional maturity of these generations is rather low, they are capable of figuring some of these things already in high school and take a more active role in their education - from that period on, the parents are there more as "supporters" than as primary educational "dictators". Some of the children, unfortunately, do not even have the support in their families - and thus cannot be held as accountable as early of figuring the simple math of life out as their peers who have matured in perfect circumstances with parents who provided them with good basics and explained to them how life functions, i.e. there is no "cutoff" age at which the responsibility magically falls onto children, it's a complex issue of a specific child, specific parental culture, specific society and subculture, but ultimately, at some point they all become responsible.

 

Ultimately it comes down to, "you don't choose who you're born, but you do choose who you become". The element of a conscious choice of a child is a very important one here from their teens on.

 

So I guess I'm divided on this issue. When I see a semi-literate and undereducated 12 y.o., I blame the parents. If he's still semi-literate and undereducated at 18, more likely than not it's not only parents, it's a complex set of things which also includes his conscious choice to remain that - and that's probably the most important reason.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I strongly believe that parents are responsible for their kids' education. I feel that any schooling option that is not direct teaching by the parents at home is a form of delegating that responsibility. I'm not saying that it is wrong to delegate that to someone - after all we delegate many other tasks to others. But it is still delegation.

 

So if a parents sees the ones they delegated their kids' education to not doing their job, I then see it as the parent's responsibility to do something about it. Perhaps that is by advocating for the school/teacher to do a better job, supplementing at home or by taking on the responsibility directly through homeschooling.

 

What do you think?

 

I agree with you 100%! :iagree:

[kalanamak]

I

 

So if a parents sees the ones they delegated their kids' education to not doing their job, I then see it as the parent's responsibility to do something about it.

 

:iagree:A family member who really should have known better, complained about the local school district "not noticing" his son couldn't read. This was long before I considered motherhood, let alone homeschooling, but my unspoken was reply was "how come YOU didn't notice?".

[happyhomemaker25]

Since the children belong to the parents then I think it's the parents responsibility to make sure their kids are getting an education they can use. Think about it, the teacher has the child for maybe a year, the parent has the child for the rest of his/her life.

I get that some parents don't feel capable of educating their children, but I think they are still responsible to see that said child is getting a quality education.

I refer back to a thread I started as a spin off of the Waiting for Superman thread. I was told that most parents don't have time or means to read and discuss books with their kids. I don't buy that.

When I hear the, "Woe is me, my kids have to go to bad schools with bad teachers!" I always think of that poor lady sitting on the curb after Katrina who told people she was just waiting for someone to come and help her.

It made me so sad. People have become so dependent on others that we can't even go to the library or used book store and get a classic book. We can't take 10m a night to read with our kids and discuss what we just read.

Yes, I homeschool. Yes, I am driven to give my kids the tools for a good education. But they are my kids. That's my responsibility. If they were in PS it would still be my responsibility.

I am handing more off to the older kids. Slowly but surely. I want them to become responsible for their education. I still think it's my responsibility to give them the tools and resources, but ultimately there will be a time THEY have to make the choice to continue learning.

[milovany]

I strongly believe that parents are responsible for their kids' education...What do you think?

 

I agree -- but we probably may have a different definition of "education." The rest of your post makes me think you mean mostly academics? Table time? "School"? Maybe I'm wrong and you're free to correct me -- but for us we are responsible as parents for training our children, but this doesn't mean a full slate of academics ala "school". We do little Organized Table Time beyond the 3 Rs -- and yet our days are full with learning endeavors, interest development, interpersonal relating and life skills training. Does this count in your definition?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree -- but we probably may have a different definition of "education." The rest of your post makes me think you mean mostly academics? Table time? "School"? Maybe I'm wrong and you're free to correct me -- but for us we are responsible as parents for training our children, but this doesn't mean a full slate of academics ala "school". We do little Organized Table Time beyond the 3 Rs -- and yet our days are full with learning endeavors, interest development, interpersonal relating and life skills training. Does this count in your definition?

 

Oh yes, it counts. In fact, that is once of the reasons I homeschool. I don't see how I could delegate that kind of stuff to someone else - let alone an institution.

[Peela]

Ultimately it comes back to the parent, and then the child...but thats only a great theory or ideal. What if the parent has simply not been exposed to the concept of taking responsibility for oneself, or one's children's educatoon. Or, they just never seriously consider it because everything else in their lives tells them to trust the authorities?

It wasnt till I seriously started researching homeschooling that I realised the extent to which the institution of school (and health institutions as well) disempower parents so that they feel they themselves are inadequate. It takes some sort of catalyst, or stroke of luck, or fate, or something, to come across the right person, the right informaiton, and be ready for it...to start taking responsibility in a big way. Otherwise, you just live in the dark and you don't know any better.