Need Some Help, Comfort, Support...

[Impish]

Where to begin...

 

Diva has not had a stellar year in homeschooling. My fault. I didn't realize, until too late, that she needed a different approach, for *me* to be far more hands on with her. She's 11. I thought she was really independent...until I discovered that if I spent 10 minutes going through her math instructions with her, suddenly math was done, no problems, no dragging it out for hours.

 

Yes, I'm stupid.

 

Soooo, now I'm planning next year. Debating btwn a horse study for the year (Diva adores horses) or the Prarie Primer, based on Little House.

 

Here's the issue for me....Diva is waaaaaaaay beyond being challenged by Little House. But she'd adore the work. I don't know about the literature in the horse study, where it would fit in terms of challenging her...it says 'grades 3-7' on it.

 

I'm seriously considering keeping her in gr 6 for next year. We've blown this year as far as accomplishing much...at least, not what I feel we should have. That, and Diva is pretty immature. I just don't see her being ready for 'grade 7'. If she ever does go to high school, (not at all what we plan), I think the extra year of maturing would do her good.

 

So, I've got that sorted out in my head. Diva is upset at the idea of 'failing' a grade. I've explained about the extra year, and that she wouldn't be repeating anything she's already done, her math would move forward a year, etc.

 

Here's the biggest issue: How do I deal with folks who say that the reason we've messed up this year is my disability, my meds, etc...and that Diva would be better in school?

 

I know its my approach, my fault that Diva didn't do well this year. I failed to reach her in a way that sparked her interest, her love of learning. It was a year of drudgery, and I need to fix that. But it had nothing to do with meds or anything else.

 

How do I respond, without kicking anyone in the shins?

[Mynyel]

Ahhh....You know what? We homeschool its our prerogative. Don't worry about a "grade" unless you have to fill it out on a homeschool form for the state (I know some states require it).

I have struggled a bit with my daughter as well. She is "officially" in 7th grade. However she is doing some 6th grade stuff and some higher stuff and some much lower just to fill in gaps.

I don't tell my daughter what "grade" things are, we go by "levels". We always say...well this is your level but this isn't. Same with my son. Put her where she needs to be, pull up your big girl panties ;):D and say she is in X grade and go from there.

I am a firm believer that since we homeschool that everything will definitely come out in the wash and our kids pick up *WAY* more than you think!!

Hope this helps at least a little!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Teachin'Mine]

I'd be more concerned about your daughter than what other people have to say. First of all, if they're going to be critical, then they don't have any reason to be filled in on the details of your schooling.

 

Girls at that age can change so much just over a summer. But if you think another year would be good before junior high level work, then maybe you can present it to your daughter in a way that makes her feel good about it. Maybe saying that JH is so much more work intensive, and you'd love for her to have a year of really enjoying a fun curriculum like the one on horses or Little House. When we got my daughter the LH books, we were all "fighting" over who would get to read them first. So I don't think her age would be a concern - they're great books at any age. :)

 

I don't know if it's a possibility, but maybe you could even sweeten the deal by offering her some horseback riding lessons as part of the curriculum you're planning. Another thought is to name your year something different than a grade number - like pre-junior high, or junior high prep. Just some thoughts. :)

[Mynyel]

OH! Forgot to add something...

 

Another thing I have done too is to mix the "grades" For instance right now my son is doing 2nd grade math. Most of it seems to easy BUT the 3rd grade stuff is going to challenge him to fast SO what I am doing (and I did this with my daughter with 6th grade math and Pre-Algebra) is mixing it up. We do a 4 day week - Wed, Thur, Sat & Sun. On Wed and Sat we do 2nd grade on Thur and Sun we do 3rd grade. When it gets to a point where the 2nd grade is getting way to easy then I will stop it and just do complete 3rd.

[Impish]

Thanks for your responses!

 

Yes, grades are required for paperwork here.

 

Its not that she's 'too old' for Little House, but rather her reading level is so far beyond it, I'm afraid she'll chew up the series in a week or two, rather than go at the pace the year long study requires! :lol:

[Quickbeam]

Here's the biggest issue: How do I deal with folks who say that the reason we've messed up this year is my disability, my meds, etc...and that Diva would be better in school?

 

While I agree with the others that you should not focus much on what people say/think, imagine this: If she had a bad year at school, would all those people say it was her teacher's fault, or would they say that you should pull her out of school for having one bad year? I doubt it.

 

I don't have experience with formal HSing, but I am a mama and I say don't be too hard on yourself:grouphug:.

[Impish]

While I agree with the others that you should not focus much on what people say/think, imagine this: If she had a bad year at school, would all those people say it was her teacher's fault, or would they say that you should pull her out of school for having one bad year? I doubt it.

 

I don't have experience with formal HSing, but I am a mama and I say don't be too hard on yourself:grouphug:.

Thank you.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

[MariannNOVA]

Hey, Imp:

 

Words of wisdom from across the border:

 

Cut yourself a break, FIRST! Homeschooling is an enormous task -- you amaze me that with the physical pain you are in, you accomplish a task that is so daunting. Pat yourself gently on the back (or front if you cannot reach) and rest assured that you are doing well!:grouphug:

 

Next -- don't place too much emphasis on numerical grades -- my dd11 is going into 6th grade, but as we have stayed on the tract she was on in private school, most of her work is right now at the 7th grade level -- grades are just a number - not a biggie. I think you should tell D that you have done a little reading, and you have planned some 'enrichment' courses that will be the dessert for 6th grade and better prepare her to do spectacular work in 7th grade.

 

Start with the LH series, and if she chews it up in a week, well, then on to the next thing. Ask on the curric board for suggestions to go with the LH series to turn it into a literature study -- she will learn more from that than anything else. And, I think I did the LH study with my classroom students last year -- PM me and let me know what one you are doing -- it was actually rather meaty - opened the door to other stuff, and kept my 'brightest' students learning and busy.

 

Finally, BF has a horse study -- look into it -- ask questions about it on curric board - ask me questions --

 

Accentuate that D is bright and capable and is going to do in-depth enrichment work -- I would not worry about the mechanics of what one is supposed to learn in 6th grade -- keep her reading and writing, her skills will sharpen, she will maintain a positive attitude towards learning, and you will accomplish much.

 

If I'm off the mark, here, apologies - but I think you would be better to err on the side of going easy on yourself and accentuating D's abilities and what there is to learn as opposed to what has not been covered.

 

HTH

[i.love.lucy]

Imp, I totally know where you are coming from! Our 4th grade year has not accomplished much at all. I also see it as my fault because I was completely overwhelmed with care of my elderly in-laws and a move. We managed to keep up okay with the 3 Rs but that's about it. And even at that, since I was handing her over a workbook for math and saying "go do 2 lessons" she didn't learn much. :blushing: I finally discovered it and we slammed on the brakes. We are now doing Math Mammoth and catching up on some conceptual math that we missed, but she'll still head in to 5th grade doing MM 4, and I'm okay with that. I am kind of going to take the approach of "just do the next thing" all summer and into fall.

 

I think if you can find a way to make it okay for your dd to call this next year 6th grade again, then to blazes with everyone else! That would be my biggest concern. I liked that suggestion of offering horseback riding lessons or something. We have a few places here that do horse therapy for kids with autism or physical disabilities and one could volunteer there easily. One place gave our girl scouts a few free riding lessons for work on their ranch. Just being around the horses was lovely. And if you re-do 6th grade and call it Jr High Prep (liked that idea too) with a horse unit study there are plenty of books about horses that could really challenge her reading level.

 

:grouphug:

[KathyBC]

Your plan to make school more appealing and engaging sounds brilliant - go for it!

 

I'm seriously considering keeping her in gr 6 for next year. We've blown this year as far as accomplishing much...at least, not what I feel we should have. That, and Diva is pretty immature. I just don't see her being ready for 'grade 7'. If she ever does go to high school, (not at all what we plan), I think the extra year of maturing would do her good.

 

So, I've got that sorted out in my head. Diva is upset at the idea of 'failing' a grade. I've explained about the extra year, and that she wouldn't be repeating anything she's already done, her math would move forward a year, etc.

 

 

 

Here is my gut response. If you want to consider that you're 'holding her back a year' in your head, okay. But if it were me, I would tell Diva, the school board, and anyone else who asked that she was in whatever grade level matches her age. Seriously. Think about the variety of abilities in a typical school classroom. If you should ever need to put her in public or private school, you can reevaluate then.

 

I don't know about Alberta, but in B.C. I do know one family who held their sons back for various reasons and ran into funding issues in grade 12 with the oldest, since he was now over-age. Don't know how that will play out with the youngest. Just another thought to consider.

[Impish]

Thank you for the responses.

 

We don't know for sure where we'll be in Sept, but the funding is def something to think about, thanks!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Imp - is the horse study the one by Beautiful Feet? If so, it will be meaty and will definitely last a year!

[ChristusG]

 

 

Here is my gut response. If you want to consider that you're 'holding her back a year' in your head, okay. But if it were me, I would tell Diva, the school board, and anyone else who asked that she was in whatever grade level matches her age. Seriously. Think about the variety of abilities in a typical school classroom. If you should ever need to put her in public or private school, you can reevaluate then.

 

I agree with what this poster said.

 

A child's grade is just a number. Usually, when people ask what grade a child is in, they are really trying to see how old the child is.....not what sort of work they are doing. My daughter knows she is in "kindergarten", but I only tell her this so she will be put into a class at church with children her own age. If it weren't for church, she wouldn't even know about grades.

 

Just keep progressing at the pace that your daughter feels comfortable at. And if worse comes to worse, when she graduates 12th grade and you feel she's still behind, you do school for another year.

[Impish]

The horse study is History of the Horse A Literature Approach to Equine History by Hilary Severson.

 

If there's another horse study out there, please link me!

 

The Little House one is called Prairie Primer Literature Based Unit Studies grades 3-6 (part of where my concern comes from...Diva reads late high school) Utilizing "Little House" Series by Margie Gray

 

I'm thinking of getting the Prairie Primer and using it here and there...the books for read alouds, the Primer stuff here and there...recipes, crafts, etc.

 

I just can't decide for sure! :willy_nilly:

[MariannNOVA]

If there's another horse study out there, please link me!

 

 

 

 

http://www.bfbooks.com/s.nl/it.A/id.286/.f

[OnTheBrink]

The BFB horse study is really good! Worth checking out!

[Impish]

Its by the same author ;) My catalog just doesn't name 'Beautiful Feet' at all, but names the author.

[hillfarm]

Keep in mind that if she were in ps and had a tough year, she would probably be promoted but have to do some remedial work in the next grade. That work might be one or two "grades" lower than the one she was actually enrolled in. So you can do the same, put her in the grade you want and then do remedial or advanced work wherever appropriate.

 

Regarding your unit study, can you spend some time at the library (or online--we can access our library's catalog from home), and identify books on related topics that might be more in line with your dd's reading level? You can follow the Prarie Primer topical outline but substitute in the books you think would be better choices.

 

Also remember that reading level isn't always the same as maturity level. My dd can read above level, but she still has an 11yo's thoughts and emotions. I try to keep her close to age appropriate with fiction works, but will increase the level for nonfiction.

 

Perhaps one fun project you could give her to challenge herself would be for her to learn how to design her own unit studies on the aspects of horses that interest her the most. She could proceed at whatever level was appropriate.

 

Also, once you finish the Prarie Primer, you could work with her to create your own study based on another time/place, such as a study of the American west circa 1870, or whatever. If we finish a subject early and there is more than a couple of weeks of school left, then I tell dd that she is allowed to come up with her own course of study for that time and she always has great fun doing that.

[FaithManor]

We don't talk much about "grade" differentiation around here. If someone asks, I may say the ds's are the age of a typical 6th grader, or 7th grader, or 4th grader. I generally let it drop there. If relatives push, I say that because we don't follow a standard school year, that when they finish up their books, we take a short break , and then move on so they may be at mutiple levels at one time. My kids tend to be pretty on schedule with math but way ahead in science. I've made it pretty clear that we go by mastery of skills and this means that we can't qualify our homeschooling by grade level. But mostly, I just don't answer a lot of questions concerning this.

 

For your paperwork, could you list her as a 7th grader and then try to list non-standard materials that might be hard to pin down? I don't know where you are, but if you are in a state or province in which your portfolio isn't being scrutinized, you might use Saxon math 76 as a "reference" spin even if you don't want to homeschool with Saxon. Saxon 76 is 6th grade for kids who really accel in math, and 7th grade for those that need more time. It kind of covers both grades. I'm not necessaily recommending it but just saying that if you used it for reference and extra drill, you could maybe include enough papers in the portfolio to show you used this curriculum even if the bulk of her daily work was a different math curriculum. There are other English and Writing books that are similar. Also, Real Science for Kids doesn't have typical "grade" designations so it or something similar would allow you to fill out your paperwork in an "ambiguous way" if that is acceptable. Writing Strands is another course that might work well for her current writing level but without designating necessarily 6th or 7th grade.

 

If she loves horses, what about doing a lit study of Black Beauty and other "horse" oriented books? I think Rainbow Resource has literature guides for that book.

 

The Little House Series is tough....yeah the reading level is too easy but if you can afford to buy it even though she may just breeze through it and you will need to buy something else as well, then it might be worth it for her to have a fun and breezy subject to look forward to.

 

Without knowing just how much you have to designate on the paperwork, its hard to know what the best answer is....for what its worth, here in Michigan, the vast majority of the sixth graders that I've encountered have only mastered what my children learned in 3rd grade math and 4th grade English. Their science knowledge is less than paltry. Oh, they've been exposed to alot and rushed through a tremendous amount of material, but they haven't mastered much and their best skill is multiple choice bubble testing. Most can not even explain the simple steps for two digit multiplication - (I've been listening to the public school parents at church complain about how much work their kids seem to do but how very little they seem to know.) They are great at rounding off and estimating the best guess. So if you did a direct comparison between your Diva and the publicly schooled kids in our area, she'd probably be ahead.

 

A friend from out of state, who lives in a registration state, always lists her kids by their birthdays. Matching their chronological age to their grade just eliminated a lot of questions. But, she is like me and may be using different levels of grade work with each child just depending on their abilities and interest. I've got one that will be doing trigonometry probably at a typical sophomore age but will likely be still stuck in 5th grade and 7th grade English. So, figuring out how to account for that on a high school transcript is going to be interesting!

 

Don't feel at all bad about the situtation. No matter how much you feel you haven't done this year, Diva is better off with you than with the government. No one can ever care more about her future and development than you! So, you know you've got something to fix and you will. It will be okay.

 

Faith

[Beach Mom]

If she is interested in horses I would go for the History of the Horse curriculum. Sonlight puts many of the books used in the 4-8th grade range. Even if some are a little young, if she enjoys them you will make progress and that part of school will be really enjoyable for her.

 

I would call her 7th and do whatever work you think is appropriate for where she is. Many kids stall in their learning for millions of different reasons. 7th graders come at all different ages and abilities and are using all different texts. If you ever decide to put her in a non homeschool situation you can evaluate it then. You may find she changes in so many ways between now and September. 11 year old girls change quickly (ask me how I know :) They are a bundle of emotions and I'm not sure I would add the emotions around holding her back if there was a chance you may not have to. For me the emoting I would encounter from my 11yo would not be worth it.

 

All that said, the most important thing is that you are her Mom and you have the best instincts about her. Trust your gut, love her lots and know that you are doing your best by her. It sounds like you are teaching her by great example that it is how we handle ourselves on the bumpy roads that build our character. Every day a homeschooled child learns so much more than math and grammar just by experiencing life along side of us. Remember that even a whole sixth grade year is just a blink of time in her life. Enjoy your time with her, whatever that looks like at your house.

 

:grouphug: