Reward System for school?

[CalicoKat]

Does anyone have a reward system to encourage kids to see the bigger picture and to encourage/motivate themselves?

 

My kids take piano lessons and they love them. They practice, they keep track of when they have lessons and they're psyched about doing the recital next week. Hmmmm, not so about our school work.

 

Now their piano teacher has this very complicated reward system. For each day of practice they get to choose a sticker from her huge sticker collection. After logging 15 practices in their book they get a $5 gift card that they for a place they choose before doing any of those 15 practices.

 

Soooooo I'm thinking of having a reward system like hers for my 7 year old ds who pouts through most of his school work. He says he's bored even though he is working a grade level above. Because he hates to write I'm hesitatant to move him onto the next grade level because I'm afraid it will become an even bigger battle to get him to write things down. Yes, I'm chicken. Ability is exceeding maturity at this point.

 

Anyone done something like this before? I know I'll have to extend this to all my kiddos. DH think I ought to offer $10 for 6 weeks of school work done. We do six weeks on, one week off.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Well, I haven't actually started full time homeschooling, yet, but I was thinking about this for my older ds, too. He is also 7, and always complains about whatever it is he HAS to do. "Why can't I have a whole day where I can just play?", he asks all the time. So, I was thinking of making a chart and for every day that we do school with no whining, he can get a sticker. When he gets 12 "no whining" stickers, I will let him have a whole day of playing- no school, no extra chores. I think this will work for him.

[martinswife]

My dds get to pick out a snack treat of their choice that costs $1 or less next time we are at the store. Cheap? Yeah, but they are not allowed very many sweets, so for them it is incentive enough. Plus, they feel special picking out their own treat.

[Barb_]

Does anyone have a reward system to encourage kids to see the bigger picture and to encourage/motivate themselves?

 

This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but studies have shown that rewards are a long-term *de*motivator.

 

Once upon a time there was a cranky, but wily old man. The neighborhood hooligans loved to torment him by riding their bikes over his front lawn and cussing at the top of their lungs. Each day, the old man would stick his head out the door and shake his fist at them, threatening to call the police.

 

One day he had an idea.

 

When the hooligans showed up, he told them, "You know, every day you've been riding across my lawn and cussing me out. I used to hate it, but it has grown on me and I really would hate it if you stopped. I'll tell you what, I'll give you $5 each day that you show up to ride on my lawn and cuss at my house."

 

The hooligans thought this was a pretty good deal. They were doing it anyway. The old man was probably nuts, but why not. So each day for the following week the old man gave the hooligans $5 for riding on his lawn and cussing his house.

 

The following week, the hooligans came to the old man's door looking for their $5 but the old man said, "you know, I'm on Social Security and I'm beginning to realize the $5 is a little expensive. Will you ride over my lawn for $1 a day?" The boys were a little disappointed but decided $1 was still a pretty good deal.

 

The following week, the hooligans came to the old man's door looking for their payment. The old man said, "I'm so sorry, boys but I'm going to have to put a roof on my house and have no more money to pay you. Would you mind going back to doing it for free?"

 

"Nah," they said. It's too much trouble to cuss you out for free.

 

:D

[redmom3]

I bought a big roll of tickets at Wal-Mart and give each child a ticket for completing a task and another ticket if it was done with a good attitude. I am always picking up little inexpensive things (pencils, lollypops from the bank, etc) and on Friday I have a "store" on my bed. I always have something big that they have to save money for several weeks. It's a good introduction to money when I price some things. We LOVE this!!

[Jen500]

I have to agree with Barb on this one.

 

You said your son is bored, but not ready to move ahead in writing. Why not let him move forward in some subjects so he's not bored? And keep his writing instruction at his level.

 

I don't give rewards, but we do 'celebrate' sometimes, such as having a little family party when a math book is finished.

[spradlin02]

I'm not a believer in the type of reward systems to which you refer. I tend to fall into the philosophical camp that believes any sort of reward given for performance instills a focus for the reward and sacrifices the intrinsic value of the activity. I don't want my children growing up with an extraneous reward system that reinforces the idea that achievements are sought for something other than themselves.

[CalicoKat]

I have to agree with Barb on this one.

 

You said your son is bored, but not ready to move ahead in writing. Why not let him move forward in some subjects so he's not bored? And keep his writing instruction at his level.

 

I don't give rewards, but we do 'celebrate' sometimes, such as having a little family party when a math book is finished.

Agreed, but the next step is 3rd grade and he'll be lifting his pencil more than he'd like.

[Sue G in PA]

My ps 4th grader gets to choose a reward from the basket each Fri. that he has had good behavior all week (not sure how teacher keeps track...stickers or something). My hs kids all started complaining that they didn't get anything for doing their work or behaving. I pointed out that they didn't always DO their work and that their behavior was less than stellar. I tried giving rewards and it just got to be too much. That's all they look for now. Forget it. They are rewarded enough, imo. TV, video games, sweet treats every now and again. I have started tying schoolword to video game time for ds8 (my gamer). He gets 10 min. per each school subject completed...well and with a GOOD attitude. That means it must be complete and that he had to have completed it w/out fighting me or sulking or complaining or whatever. I have seen an improvement. Of course, there are the days that he tries to get time w/out doing schoolwork. It never works, but he does try.

[ncmom2dawters]

Some times I'll put coupons in one or two of my children's school books. It might be at the end of a chapter, on a random page, etc. These coupons can be anything ... skipping an assignment, choosing a movie, lunch out, ... Often the coupons are for things we may do or they may get anyway however my children don't know that :) They get the satisfaction of working for and earning the reward.

[mommytobees]

I think using a reward system has a tendency to own you. I've found that over the years when using reward programs the reward system runs the attitude.

 

We changed our tune. I have specific expectations:

 

We pay them to do school. They get their age per week for a COMPLETED week.

 

1) School is your job. Teaching is my job. I can't teach if you aren't present. You will NOT be present IF your attitude stinks. You are excused from school. I teach Monday - Friday (with the rare exception that _I_ choose), from 8am - 3pm. I do NO SCHOOL after 3 pm.

 

~ To make this easier on everyone both children have an assignment sheet for the week and I have an assignment sheet for "mom-work" for each child. They both know what their own tasks are for the week. I don't care when dd9 does her handwriting or Wordly Wise (though I'm usually around to help with problems for WW) or reading or critical thinking or math games or...... I check their work either daily or at the end of the week. Things they do with me (ie Math, Grammar, LA, Spelling, etc) then they have to get them done to my satisfaction.

 

2) To have your everyday privileges (electronics, ie. tv, computer, Nintendo; playing with friends; x, y, and z) you have to have your day's work done. If your work isn't done, you are out of luck.

 

3) To have your weekend privileges you have to have ALL of your week's work done. Again, I have no problem with restricting regular privileges.

 

4) I don't buy stuff. I will buy movies, when I want to purchase the movie. I will buy outdoor toys, when _I_ want to purchase toys. My kids purchase their own stuff. My daughter just saved her money for a new watch. I provided her with a fully functional and pink watch. She wanted a "pretty" watch. She spent her own money on her "pretty" watch. You want stuff, do your job.

 

It takes time, esp with young kids for them to understand. If he has a concept of money, it becomes easier. My neighbor just started this with her 8 year old daughter. She put eight $1 bills into a jar and set it on the table. Her daughter knew what she could purchase with $8.

 

The motivation is being able to have your own spending money.

 

HTH,

Kris

[T'smom]

My ds is still too young, but close to our town there is an indoor waterpark that has a special price for homeschoolers on Friday afternoons. I would totally use that, if your work for the week is completed by noon on Friday, we go to the pool in the afternoon. If not, guess we'll still be working on it! Maybe there's something like that where you live? Or you could get a membership somewhere (like a museum/zoo/aquarium) that he would really enjoy.

I understand where the 'no reward' people are coming from, but from my perspective, this is a real-world consequence. When you get your stuff done in a timely manner, you have time for fun stuff. If you don't, you don't.

[LibraryLover]

I don't.

[Barb_]

He says he's bored even though he is working a grade level above. Because he hates to write I'm hesitatant to move him onto the next grade level because I'm afraid it will become an even bigger battle to get him to write things down. Yes, I'm chicken. Ability is exceeding maturity at this point.

 

Can I quickly address the above? I don't believe in holding a child back from higher level concepts because of find motor coordination and stamina. Whenever possible, you should try to divorce written work from learning in the early years. Giving him work at the correct level may be all you need to do to motivate him. Maybe you could elaborate on the statement above?

 

Barb

[sweetTN]

I'm not a believer in the type of reward systems to which you refer. I tend to fall into the philosophical camp that believes any sort of reward given for performance instills a focus for the reward and sacrifices the intrinsic value of the activity. I don't want my children growing up with an extraneous reward system that reinforces the idea that achievements are sought for something other than themselves.

 

:iagree:

OK, I was beginning to get worried that I was the only one who doesn't believe in giving rewards for expected behavior. I have a nephew who was given rewards (I tend to see them as bribes). Now his response to all expectations is, "what's in it for me?" I want my dd to understand that having appropriate behavior and attitude is simply the right thing to do.

[angela in ohio]

OK, I was beginning to get worried that I was the only one who doesn't believe in giving rewards for expected behavior. I have a nephew who was given rewards (I tend to see them as bribes). Now his response to all expectations is, "what's in it for me?" I want my dd to understand that having appropriate behavior and attitude is simply the right thing to do.

 

I agree. Helping in the house, having a good attitude, and doing school work willingly are minimum expectations. We go the other way (discipline if they are not done) for those. Then there are extra things we reward (with verbal praise and hugs) for: winning an art competition, nailing a solo at the piano concert, doing well on a test, cleaning up someone else's mess for them, etc. I also think it is important to teach dc that learning is its own reward. I know that is overused, but it is so true.

 

Honestly, in our house, dh would be having a talk with the boy. Ds would leave the talk crying in repentance. :001_smile: There would be no reward system.

[CalicoKat]

:iagree:

OK, I was beginning to get worried that I was the only one who doesn't believe in giving rewards for expected behavior. I have a nephew who was given rewards (I tend to see them as bribes). Now his response to all expectations is, "what's in it for me?" I want my dd to understand that having appropriate behavior and attitude is simply the right thing to do.

I agree with this soo much. I have never in the 7 years of homeschooling ever ever had this thought. Right now it's pretty much there's nothing getting done. He's content to sit in a (hard) chair and watch us play a fun game, nothing motivates this little man.

 

In the past I've just put school aside for a while and let it be. But I don't want this young man to loose his lead. Probably it's for selfish reasons as I've never had a child who's worked ahead of his age-level.

 

I sat in on his piano lesson because I was curious to see if everything was a bust and I was surprised to see how engaged, motivated, and eager he was with her. It was the reward system. I thought why not give it a try.

[bookfiend]

One of several family sayings: "Hard work is it's own reward."

 

That's honestly just how we run it. We want the accomplishment of finishing something well to be the reward. We give as much aid as is needed/requested along the way.

[lllll]

I agree with this soo much. I have never in the 7 years of homeschooling ever ever had this thought. Right now it's pretty much there's nothing getting done. He's content to sit in a (hard) chair and watch us play a fun game, nothing motivates this little man.

 

In the past I've just put school aside for a while and let it be. But I don't want this young man to loose his lead. Probably it's for selfish reasons as I've never had a child who's worked ahead of his age-level.

 

I sat in on his piano lesson because I was curious to see if everything was a bust and I was surprised to see how engaged, motivated, and eager he was with her. It was the reward system. I thought why not give it a try.

 

 

Maybe they just love music/piano??

 

No reward system here either. Uness you count 'as soon as you're done here, you can go outside and go bizerk' as a reward. :)

Edited May 4, 2010 by ksva

[FriedClams]

I agree. Helping in the house, having a good attitude, and doing school work willingly are minimum expectations. We go the other way (discipline if they are not done) for those. Then there are extra things we reward (with verbal praise and hugs) for: winning an art competition, nailing a solo at the piano concert, doing well on a test, cleaning up someone else's mess for them, etc. I also think it is important to teach dc that learning is its own reward. I know that is overused, but it is so true.

 

Honestly, in our house, dh would be having a talk with the boy. Ds would leave the talk crying in repentance. :001_smile: There would be no reward system.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[CalicoKat]

Can I quickly address the above? I don't believe in holding a child back from higher level concepts because of find motor coordination and stamina. Whenever possible, you should try to divorce written work from learning in the early years. Giving him work at the correct level may be all you need to do to motivate him. Maybe you could elaborate on the statement above?

 

Barb

Math - the next level of math involves rewriting the problem into a notebook. Even with a workbook that just requires him to write the answer he hates writing. We don't do every problem, we don't do every lesson. We're just doing the lessons with the new concept so we're speeding through. He hates writing anything down.

 

I didn't use MUS with him this year because my other dd 9 and him work at the same level. She's a compares herself with him all the time. She's got other issues we're focusing on. She's so sneaky about picking on him it took me a while to figure out that she was telling him that because he was only 7 he couldn't do that type of math. So we "resolved" this by giving him a different program at the same grade level. Yes, its a character issue. Yes, it needs to change. It is addressed daily. Our son deserves not to be in the cross-hairs of her viperish tongue though. FWIW, she's also ADHD with a healthy dose of Oppositional Defiance going on. Pray for me. It's a daily climb. For her we're focusing on being truthful and having self-control. MUS is the only math program that's worked for DD and I can't move her out without dire academic consequences.

 

But, he is done with his 2nd grade book and I do have the opportunity to put him into the Gamma book. DD hasnt' finished her Beta book and won't for another 6 months. I wonder. . . . but if he poops out on me and doesn't do it then we'll be back where we were before. Something to think about. I gave him the Beta placement test and it's obvious he's not ready for Gamma yet. The concept of borrowing was shakey. Although he's got his math facts down cold. So scratch this idea for now.

 

Grammar - currently done orally. But when we get into the next book there will be a bit of writing, putting in commas, apostrophes, the correct word, etc. He's finishing up R&S Eng. 2 right now. We would just do the worksheets (together) when he starts Eng. 3. I just can't see him learning how to write without actually writing anything.

 

Handwriting - he has beautiful cursive. He doesn't complain about this subject except to comment once in a while on how many pages left til he gets the next book.

 

Science - we do together. There are some questions done orally and some written (fill in the blank) He hates to do this.

 

Reading - pathway readers + workbook. It's not his fav. either and generally grumbles "about all the writing. . . . " We use the vocabulary for each lesson as our spelling program. I know. They're considered boring to some. But it's working here. I'm an avid reader, my kids aren't. I just don't get it, but that's the fact of life. We read aloud and then do the workbook. We're going to start picking out chapter books from the AO list & SCM list for personal reading. Otherwise he'd just pick out the easy readers. My hope is to coaxing the love of reading to ignite.

Edited May 4, 2010 by CalicoKat

[spradlin02]

:iagree:

OK, I was beginning to get worried that I was the only one who doesn't believe in giving rewards for expected behavior. I have a nephew who was given rewards (I tend to see them as bribes). Now his response to all expectations is, "what's in it for me?" I want my dd to understand that having appropriate behavior and attitude is simply the right thing to do.

 

I will disclose that I have not yet begun homeschooling (next fall), but I have no plans to implement a reward system. I fully expected to evolve my philosophical foundations over time, but I'm pretty clear with my belief in the detrimental effects of reward systems. I realize the forum upon which this discussion resides, but I tend to fall into the Howard Gardner unschooling camp - certainly NOT on the radical end of the spectrum. Unquestionably, I have educational expectations of my children, but I'm creating an environment where they can gravitate toward the process that makes the goal an interesting journey. If it's a classical approach for one and a Waldorf approach for another, then so be it. Most importantly, I want to foster a love of learning and each develop an understanding of their own mental processes.

Edited May 4, 2010 by spradlin02

[Barb_]

Honestly? It does seem like a lot of writing for a balky 7yo. Not for every child, but I've had my share of balky writers and I've come to believe that learning should never be sacrificed on the altar of written work.

 

Math - the next level of math involves rewriting the problem into a notebook. Even with a workbook that just requires him to write the answer he hates writing.

 

Okay, I know this may be touchy, but would you consider Singapore? Singapore works so well for your kind of kid because it's workbook driven all the way through 6th grade. There are many supplementary books that can help you keep him at the same grade level a little longer if need be, yet learning new thing. And if you feel the need to just keep introducing new concepts and moving forward, that is very easy to do also. Just vary the amount of supplementary work. 2A is a great place to start because that's where the mental math skills really start. Your daughter will believe he is working at a lower level than her and you can tell him that they start school at different ages there, so grade levels aren't the same as they are in the states.

 

I didn't use MUS with him this year because my other dd 9 and him work at the same level. She's a compares herself with him all the time....Yes, its a character issue. Yes, it needs to change.

 

No judgement from me. It sounds like you came up with a brilliant solution to handle a difficult child. Have you spoken to her doctor? One of my daughters was about 9 when we decided something had to be done and we finally gave in a tried medication. I had really begun to worry about her because we'd tried everything. It seemed like she was always in trouble. She thought everyone hated her and she was angry all the time. She is a different child. PM me if you want to talk more.

 

Grammar - currently done orally. But when we get into the next book there will be a bit of writing, putting in commas, apostrophes, the correct word, etc. He's finishing up R&S Eng. 2 right now. We would just do the worksheets (together) when he starts Eng. 3.

 

What if you continued to do R&S aloud through 3 and only write on the days that it's obvious writing isn't optional? On those days, skip vocabulary or another writing-intensive subject.

 

 

I just can't see him learning how to write without actually writing anything... Handwriting - he has beautiful cursive. He doesn't complain about this subject except to comment once in a while on how many pages left til he gets the next book.

 

He won't be 7 forever. 7 is a notoriously whiney age. 7 is the age that is complained about the most on these board...even more than 13 which runs a close second. A little writing every day (handwriting counts) will keep him in practice. As he matures, add a little bit more written work each semester. He will get there!

 

Science - we do together. There are some questions done orally and some written (fill in the blank) He hates to do this.

This sounds like a good place to just ditch the writing altogether. It's probably overkill.

 

Reading - pathway readers + workbook. It's not his fav. either and generally grumbles "about all the writing. . . . " We use the vocabulary for each lesson as our spelling program. I know. They're considered boring to some. But it's working here. I'm an avid reader, my kids aren't. I just don't get it, but that's the fact of life. We read aloud and then do the workbook. We're going to start picking out chapter books from the AO list & SCM list for personal reading. Otherwise he'd just pick out the easy readers. My hope is to coaxing the love of reading to ignite.

 

You know what? Part of the problem with my ADHD daughter's issues was that the one right behind her "caught" her ADHD behaviors. They didn't read. They goofed off. They were sloppy and irritating. The thing was, the younger one is just about as far as you can get from ADHD by nature. But once the older one was under control, they both started reading more and our school days are productive and pleasant.

 

It sounds like language arts is the sticking point for the writing and if you cut out the excess like I mentioned above, you may not have as much trouble getting this out of him. And this little bit coupled with penmanship is plenty to keep in him practice and develop his muscles. A little bit of writing done well and carefully beats pages of sloppy work.

 

I hope this comes off helpful. Feel free to ditch any of my suggestions, but you sound like you are at the end of your rope right now. Sometimes when you are in the middle of things it's tough to get out of your own way. Look at things from your children's point of view. Anything you do to help them succeed is the right thing to do.

 

Barb

[CalicoKat]

Honestly? It does seem like a lot of writing for a balky 7yo. Not for every child, but I've had my share of balky writers and I've come to believe that learning should never be sacrificed on the altar of written work.

 

 

 

Okay, I know this may be touchy, but would you consider Singapore? Singapore works so well for your kind of kid because it's workbook driven all the way through 6th grade. There are many supplementary books that can help you keep him at the same grade level a little longer if need be, yet learning new thing. And if you feel the need to just keep introducing new concepts and moving forward, that is very easy to do also. Just vary the amount of supplementary work. 2A is a great place to start because that's where the mental math skills really start. Your daughter will believe he is working at a lower level than her and you can tell him that they start school at different ages there, so grade levels aren't the same as they are in the states.

 

 

 

No judgement from me. It sounds like you came up with a brilliant solution to handle a difficult child. Have you spoken to her doctor? One of my daughters was about 9 when we decided something had to be done and we finally gave in a tried medication. I had really begun to worry about her because we'd tried everything. It seemed like she was always in trouble. She thought everyone hated her and she was angry all the time. She is a different child. PM me if you want to talk more.

 

 

 

What if you continued to do R&S aloud through 3 and only write on the days that it's obvious writing isn't optional? On those days, skip vocabulary or another writing-intensive subject.

 

 

 

 

He won't be 7 forever. 7 is a notoriously whiney age. 7 is the age that is complained about the most on these board...even more than 13 which runs a close second. A little writing every day (handwriting counts) will keep him in practice. As he matures, add a little bit more written work each semester. He will get there!

 

This sounds like a good place to just ditch the writing altogether. It's probably overkill.

 

 

 

You know what? Part of the problem with my ADHD daughter's issues was that the one right behind her "caught" her ADHD behaviors. They didn't read. They goofed off. They were sloppy and irritating. The thing was, the younger one is just about as far as you can get from ADHD by nature. But once the older one was under control, they both started reading more and our school days are productive and pleasant.

 

It sounds like language arts is the sticking point for the writing and if you cut out the excess like I mentioned above, you may not have as much trouble getting this out of him. And this little bit coupled with penmanship is plenty to keep in him practice and develop his muscles. A little bit of writing done well and carefully beats pages of sloppy work.

 

I hope this comes off helpful. Feel free to ditch any of my suggestions, but you sound like you are at the end of your rope right now. Sometimes when you are in the middle of things it's tough to get out of your own way. Look at things from your children's point of view. Anything you do to help them succeed is the right thing to do.

 

Barb

She's been medicated for the 3 years. Academic progress is there. It doesn't seem to help with the Oppositional crap. We've tried out a miriad of medications and we're in the process of yet another trial. I have seen how her behavior is mirrored by the younger kids. sigh. You have a ton kids too so you do understand. I appreciate your insight and BTDT advice.

 

Singapore Math has been something I've wondered about. I wonder. I guess I'll have to give it a whirl.

Edited May 4, 2010 by CalicoKat

[Barb_]

She's been medicated for the 3 years. Academic progress is there. It doesn't seem to help with the Oppositional crap. We've tried out a miriad of medications and we're in the process of yet another trial. I have seen how her behavior is mirrored by the younger kids. sigh. You have a ton kids too so you do understand. I appreciate your insight and BTDT advice.

 

Singapore Math has been something I've wondered about. I wonder. I guess I'll have to give it a whirl.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry. When one is off, the whole dynamic is off. You sound like you could really use a vacation.

 

Barb

[AllBoys]

This ledger system sounds like a great idea. I especially like that the child keeps track of everything in the ledger. Is this working for anyone else?

[sleepymommy]

I've decided to try to do some sort of a reward system this year. I used to sit staunchly under the no rewards for things your supposed to do camp. But my boy is just simply not motivated AT ALL when it comes to anything pertaining to schoolwork.

 

I bought these little reward tickets at the $1 store that say either Good Work or Superstar on them. You can write on there what they are redeemable for. I plan on using them for things like a game with dad, going bicycling, going swimming, a video, 30 min with the Wii, etc. These are things they normally get to do in the evening anyway (except Wii), but now I've decided that if ds doesn't get his schoolwork done in the decent amount of time, then it becomes homework with dad in the evening instead.

 

So in the evening, he'll either be handing his dad a reward ticket or sitting down with him for homework.

 

I haven't implemented it yet, so I can't say for sure how it's going to work, but I'm hoping!