Why do you think many people say/think they could never homeschool?

[Sahamamama]

I would agree with all of that, but add that a lot of people I've run into who oppose homeschooling don't really have any real idea of what homeschooling actually entails. I think those people are opposed to it because they fear what they don't understand.

 

:iagree:And Audrey just saved me two more minutes! :D

[mirth]

I think it's to politely fill the silence which was secretly preceded by surprise. (I think "they" almost always overestimate period of silence which ensued during their moment of surprise and wish to offer something neutral to say) And also to turn the focus back onto themselves because they don't really want to hear anymore about your kids' fringe schooling.

 

But their answer is honest, and for that, it's cool.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I would agree with all of that, but add that a lot of people I've run into who oppose homeschooling don't really have any real idea of what homeschooling actually entails. I think those people are opposed to it because they fear what they don't understand.

 

Another wise and eloquently-phrased response. Thanks, Audrey.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Almost everyone I've heard say that followed immediately with, "I just don't have the patience." They've done the homework thing, with tired, frustrated kids, in the evening, when they and their kids are at their worst. And, they think "that" is what homeschooling is like. I have nice answers for folks like that.

 

A few others come right out and say that they could never be around their kids so much. They're the ones who can't wait to send them off to school so they can have their time to themselves. I don't have very nice answers for them. :)

[Miss Sherry]

Some people just do not want to do it. They are looking forward to having their children out of the house,away at school, part of the day.

 

When I think about some of the parents I have met over the years, for example the drug addict Mom that lives next door, I am glad there is another option for their children. It's sad to say, but I do believe that some people's children ARE better off going to public school. I don't mean to imply that everyone that does not want to homeschool is so dysfunctional that they must be drug addicts, because I think there are also other, legitimate reasons that many healthy families do not homeschool.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Peela]

I think a lot of people think they don't like being with their kids because they're only with them when the kids are tired (after a long day at school), or when there are stretches of unstructured time.

 

My kids aren't a lot of fun to be with when we aren't doing something structured. They start picking on each other or whining about being "boooored" or something.

 

So, if I thought that homeschooling was just staying home with the kids picking on each other and whining non-stop all day, I'd probably say I couldn't homeschool either.

 

We all know that if you get them doing something constructive that the day goes by much smoother and everyone is happier. Not everyone knows that.

 

I agree- I think it is often the idea of hours of unstructured time and bickering kids and never getting space from them. For me...I was easily discouraged from homeschooling when my kids were little, by dh, because I was exhausted from years of 2 little kids close together in age. It wasnt till I had had a break once they were at school for a couple of years, that I felt up to it, energetically. In retrospect, I would have preferred to do it from the beginning and simply structured out time, but I didnt know any better.

The other thing that I feel is a major factor is that we are such an institutionalised society- we are taught that only trained teachers and schools are qualified to teach our own flesh and blood, our precious chldren. That's why I feel that just letting people know that it is a possibility, let them see us out in the world, that we are normal people, so that they jsut know its a possibility, that it is a very valid option. The U.S. is a few years ahead of us in Australia in that respect- many people here just dont know it's even a legal, valid option. I was terrified of trusting myself with my kids' education till I did the reseach online and realised lots of people did it and the kids tured out more than ok. But we are brainwashed- those who feel its not for them often just dont have confidence, and cover that with other reasons.

[Danestress]

Maybe they really just don't think it's the best way to educate their children, and they don't want to say that to you directly. One time a friend was waxing poetic about her child's private school. It's a very good school - academically rigorous and known for helping talented students get places at top universities. It's an excellent education. So in the course of the conversation, I said, "Yeah, we can't afford that" because it's pretty close to 20K per student. Her response? "Well, my DH says that if we couldn't afford it we would get rid of the car or live in a trailer."

 

So to her, maybe I was making an excuse or "copping out" of why I didn't have my chidren enrolled in what is undoubtedly a really great school. But to be honest, it was just what I said without really thinking about it. I've never considered sending my kids there, and while it's something very much on her mind, I honestly just sort of said that without having spent a lot of time crunching numbers and pondering the relative merits of HS vs. this school.

 

Likewise, I might spend a lot of time thinking about, reading about, talking about homeschool. Someone else who says, "I could never do that" is perhaps just being nice because she doesn't think it's a great way to educate children. More likely, she's just casually participating in a conversation without having spend hours reading books to prepare her thoughts on that subject. If I pushed her on her thoughts, she might refine them and say, "Well, I could but I doubt I would take a lot of joy in it and ....." She might be able to articulate better reasons. But since it's not something she's considering, she hasn't prepared arguments.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Danestress

[Jenny in GA]

Haven't read the other replies yet ...

 

I hear LOTS of people say that they could never do it because they "butt heads" with their kid anytime they have to help with homework. For whatever, doing homework together/assisting with homework/etc makes the both the parent and the child cranky and edgy. It's a miserable experience both kid and parent.

 

So then many people assume that homeschooling is like extending that miserable experience to over 20 hours a week. They don't want that for themselves or for their kids.

[jld]

Another vote for "they don't want to".

[Jenny in GA]

Oh! Another thing I think is that they are picturing classroom teaching, and they can't imagine how it's possible to teach in two different "classrooms" at once, with a toddler running around as well!

 

As I talk about here, in an on-line discussion, a school teacher said to me, "Jenny, people like you are the reason I am against homeschooling" because I said that it took much less than 40 hours (my oldest child was seven) and because I said that my two year old might be sitting on my lap for part it.

 

She said something like, "I would love to hear a professional teacher say that it takes less than 40 hours to teach TWO different grades levels" and "it would be ridiculous for me to take a two year old with me ever day."

 

So, many people either think that:

a) It must be an amazing, exhausting, heroic thing to pull off; or

b) It can't be done well (like the woman mentioned above) and the kid is getting a half-assed education

 

Jenny

[iquilt]

I just had this conversation with a teacher friend at our church while working together at Sunday School. She told me, in front of her boys, that she couldn't stand to be with them all day but admires that our family has done so well. She also is jealous that we can go on vacation in the "off season" while most schools are in session, but I told her that's just a bonus and not the reason we home school. After telling me that she couldn't be with her children all day, in front of her children, she proceeded to tell me how much she loves her students. I'm confused but I don't need to understand.

[lionfamily1999]

I think a lot of women feel unjustified staying home all day and not earning a paycheck.

That's one thing I still have issues with. We go to visit with out married friends and all the wives work (they envy me, that I get to stay home and do nothing all day :glare:) and most of the wives are the major bread winners in their families. Nothing like dh getting an earful of dhs that hardly work at all, because their wives rake it in. I always end up feeling like the world's biggest parasite.

[Jenny in GA]

That's one thing I still have issues with. We go to visit with out married friends and all the wives work (they envy me, that I get to stay home and do nothing all day :glare:) and most of the wives are the major bread winners in their families. Nothing like dh getting an earful of dhs that hardly work at all, because their wives rake it in. I always end up feeling like the world's biggest parasite.

 

If my husband got an earful of that, he would be surprised that those men aren't embarrassed that they "hardly work at all." He would also think, "Gosh, I'm glad that I'm man enough to support my family!"

 

Jenny

[lionfamily1999]

If my husband got an earful of that, he would be surprised that those men aren't embarrassed that they "hardly work at all." He would also think, "Gosh, I'm glad that I'm man enough to support my family!"

 

Jenny

Oh no, dh walks away with a big head, so proud of his family (and himself, of course). It's just me that has the problem :shrug:.

[Melissa B]

I would imagine most people say it because they have no desire to do so and it sounds much more polite than saying how they really feel.

 

My dh and I had the opportunity to say to a lovely couple not too long ago, "Oh, we could never own a farm." :D

 

Could we? Probably. Will we? Never! :lol:

 

And this is no slight on farm owners. They have my admiration and respect. I love owning a vegetable share and picking up my fresh vegetables right from the farm. But, it is not a lifestyle that would ever appeal to us.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Because if you do it correctly it is like a full time job. In my house learning never stops ;-).

 

My husband often says he has no desire to trade with me LOL.

 

It IS a full-time job. And so is being a wife/mother/manager (guardian) of our homes. Therefore, we homeschooling moms are basically working two full-time jobs! No wonder we're exhausted!:D

 

But we're definitely not "chained to the house" for the next several years, as a previous poster's friend ignorantly stated.

 

Our schooling schedule has taken us on quite a few field trips within the past few weeks: an archaeological museum, two zoos, a mountain hike, etc. My husband was envious. He again stated that I could go find the full-time job and HE'LL stay home and school the kids. I'm wondering how long he'd survive . . .

[Jenny in GA]

But we're definitely not "chained to the house" for the next several years, as a previous poster's friend ignorantly stated.

 

 

This reminds me of another possibility: I heard someone once say that they picture homeschooling of being an "extension" of being home with a toddler -- kinda like being a mother of a toddler for twenty years! And that sounds so exhausting, and cumbersome, and monotonous, and no-end-in-sight-ish that it doesn't appeal to them at all.

 

They don't realize that being home with a nine year old and seven year old who are homeschooling is much different that being home with a three year old and a one year old.

 

Jenny

[Audrey]

[Edited quote out because my post below isn't directly addressing it]

 

I am the main breadwinner in my household. I find the idea of doing nothing but housework and homeschooling to be incredibly unappealing, and I freely admit I would feel unsatisfied without a paying job, but you know what?

 

I STILL homeschool. And, I don't give a rat's patootie what you (general you) do or don't do for a livelihood or an educational choice.

 

Dh and I have managed to make homeschooling work because we made very specific choices about the kind of work we do, and how we do it. We make work fit homeschooling, not the other way around. It's all about the choices you choose to make. Everyone makes the choices that they perceive are most suitable for them. Lots of people will consistently choose the easiest way they see before them. Not to say that's a bad choice, but they should woman up and admit they picked the easier route instead of telling other people what choices to make in lame attempt to validate their own choices.

 

I also think this whole garbage about the "SAHM vs. working mom" thing is completely bogus. On either side, people are only feeling "hurt" because they want to feel that way. If you (general you) are truly comfortable with your decision, then there is no reason to spend even one moment caring what anyone else thinks.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Audrey

[ereks mom]

I hear this one a lot..not that they come right out and say it in those words, but along the lines of "I just couldn't handle being around my kids all day. They drive me crazy enough during the summer". :confused:

 

:confused:

 

Sad, isn't it?

[lionfamily1999]

I am the main breadwinner in my household. I find the idea of doing nothing but housework and homeschooling to be incredibly unappealing, and I freely admit I would feel unsatisfied without a paying job, but you know what?

 

I STILL homeschool. And, I don't give a rat's patootie what you (general you) do or don't do for a livelihood or an educational choice.

 

Dh and I have managed to make homeschooling work because we made very specific choices about the kind of work we do, and how we do it. We make work fit homeschooling, not the other way around. It's all about the choices you choose to make. Everyone makes the choices that they perceive are most suitable for them. Lots of people will consistently choose the easiest way they see before them. Not to say that's a bad choice, but they should woman up and admit they picked the easier route instead of telling other people what choices to make in lame attempt to validate their own choices.

 

I also think this whole garbage about the "SAHM vs. working mom" thing is completely bogus. On either side, people are only feeling "hurt" because they want to feel that way. If you (general you) are truly comfortable with your decision, then there is no reason to spend even one moment caring what anyone else thinks.

That wasn't how my post was meant at all.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I find the idea of doing nothing but housework and homeschooling to be incredibly unappealing, and I freely admit I would feel unsatisfied without a paying job, but you know what?

 

 

Dh and I have managed to make homeschooling work because we made very specific choices about the kind of work we do, and how we do it. We make work fit homeschooling, not the other way around. It's all about the choices you choose to make.

 

I also think this whole garbage about the "SAHM vs. working mom" thing is completely bogus. On either side, people are only feeling "hurt" because they want to feel that way. If you (general you) are truly comfortable with your decision, then there is no reason to spend even one moment caring what anyone else thinks.

 

:iagree: Yep. I choose to work outside the home and choose to homeschool, although I don't have a 9 to 5 job. Is it easy, no. I wouldn't have it any other way. I like my job and I like homeschooling my girls. It takes a lot of planning and support from my family. Dh and I want it to work, so it does.

[WishboneDawn]

I think most of the people I know who say do so because it's politer then saying, "Good Lord. That's not something I ever want to try. You must be flippin' crazy."

[Audrey]

That wasn't how my post was meant at all.

 

 

I know. And, I'm sorry I inadvertently made it look that way. I just posted under yours because some things you said in it were related. I didn't intend that. I went back and edited out your quote.

Edited March 26, 2010 by Audrey

[lionfamily1999]

I know. And, I'm sorry I inadvertently made it look that way. I just posted under yours because some things you said in it were related. I didn't intend that. I went back and edited out your quote.

Thank you. I hated to think I came across like that. I wish I had my own money, but it is just not in the cards for me right now.

[fairfarmhand]

I think most of the people I know who say do so because it's politer then saying, "Good Lord. That's not something I ever want to try. You must be flippin' crazy."

 

 

Dawn you are a HOOT! LOL!

[rafgaf4]

I have several friends who have said they could never homeschool their childrens because they couldn't spend that much time with them. I think that is so sad. I would not trade the time that I spend with my children for anything in the world.