What does it mean to be a 'strong woman'?...

[Tammy]

Can someone explain exactly what that means?

 

Tammy

[Peek a Boo]

It means you're trying to copy ME!

 

::snicker::

 

ok, maybe not, but I'm sure someone will write something wonderfully inspiring. in general i see "strong women" as those who can overcome adverse situations and maintain a pleasant, helpful attitude towards life and others.

[j.griff]

Mentally coping with life- pregnancy, childbirth, raising children, running the house, supporting others through trials, being independent, surviving deployments without losing your sanity LOL, surviving divorce, surviving the death's of loved ones and still plodding on- doing your best- never giving up or giving in.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I think of my mom.

 

She spent the first years of her married life with a man (my bio. father) who was, sadly, trapped in drugs and alcohol. When she realized that he wasn't going to get the help he needed, she took the three of us and moved to a small house. She worked 2 jobs to make ends meet (no child support for her) but, always managed to be with us. I never, ever remember her working. Strange huh?

 

She then got into another marriage that, within a month, turned extremely violent. She took the 3 of us and ran. It was hard, but, she made it work.

 

After a few more years of struggle, she met the man I now call daddy! He was wonderful to her and to us. She cautiously got involved and eventually married him.

 

I think the thing that makes her so strong in my eyes is that, even when she made bad mistakes, she rose above them with a character I have yet to see in myself. I never remember her not being there for us. I never remember not feeling loved or feeling unwanted. I never remember being an inconvenience to her. She has such a grace that I want to have also. She didn't take anything lying down, she stood up for herself, but, she got out when she knew things weren't going to get better. She dared to believe that we all deserved so much better and it was up to her to see that we got it.

 

Anyway, according to me, that's my definition of a strong woman.

[Liz CA]

I think of my mom.

 

She spent the first years of her married life with a man (my bio. father) who was, sadly, trapped in drugs and alcohol. When she realized that he wasn't going to get the help he needed, she took the three of us and moved to a small house. She worked 2 jobs to make ends meet (no child support for her) but, always managed to be with us. I never, ever remember her working. Strange huh?

 

She then got into another marriage that, within a month, turned extremely violent. She took the 3 of us and ran. It was hard, but, she made it work.

 

After a few more years of struggle, she met the man I now call daddy! He was wonderful to her and to us. She cautiously got involved and eventually married him.

 

I think the thing that makes her so strong in my eyes is that, even when she made bad mistakes, she rose above them with a character I have yet to see in myself. I never remember her not being there for us. I never remember not feeling loved or feeling unwanted. I never remember being an inconvenience to her. She has such a grace that I want to have also. She didn't take anything lying down, she stood up for herself, but, she got out when she knew things weren't going to get better. She dared to believe that we all deserved so much better and it was up to her to see that we got it.

 

Anyway, according to me, that's my definition of a strong woman.

 

...an iron willpower. Probably her one and only goal was to keep her children safe and see them succeed.

Hats off to her.

[PiCO]

Can someone explain exactly what that means?

 

Tammy

 

To me, being a strong woman means I can take care of yourself. I do what needs to be done to take care of your loved ones. I have the strength do do the right thing, and I take responsibility for my mistakes.

 

Many people have told me I'm a strong woman. Some people don't mean it as a compliment, but I take it that way anyway.;)

[Peek a Boo]

What does it mean to be a 'strong woman'?...

 

 

It means you need some deodorant.

 

 

:leaving:

 

 

sorry, i couldn't resist :D

[CookieMonster]

Can someone explain exactly what that means?

 

No.

 

No one can tell you "exactly" what it means. It's a phrase commonly in use in our culture that has no specific starting point, such as a person's life, from whence it came. Being a strong woman means many things to many people.

 

My definition would include a disclaimer that a strong woman is woman enough to submit. That would not be included in many people's definition of a strong woman.

[PariSarah]

There are so many ways of being strong--some good, some relatively unimpressive.

 

Strength of character, moral strength, physical strength, emotional strength, strength of will, mental toughness. I would call a woman "strong" for having any of these. Sometimes that would be more of a compliment than others. :D

[Peek a Boo]

My definition would include a disclaimer that a strong woman is woman enough to submit. That would not be included in many people's definition of a strong woman.

 

I agree. That's also included in my definition of a strong man. A lot of people don't include that there either. :)

[pixelroper]

for me it means handling difficult situations & tragedy with grace. Not taking the easy road. Not going over the cliff with the rest of the sheep.

[Joanne]

Mentally coping with life- pregnancy, childbirth, raising children, running the house, supporting others through trials, being independent, surviving deployments without losing your sanity LOL, surviving divorce, surviving the death's of loved ones and still plodding on- doing your best- never giving up or giving in.

 

I'd change this to say "surviving the marriage that leads to divorce".

 

I thought I was strong during my entire first marriage (14 years). In many aspects, I did exhibit incredible positive character traits.

 

I guess I was strong. Now I'm strong and healthier. :)

[Whisperlily]

I think a strong woman is someone who knows who she is, and can function *as her own person.* She can separate who she is from the people she is surrounded by, and her thoughts, opinions are her own. She isn't totally dependent on others (for her own emotional security), but she is not cold or hard. She is able to trust, but does so judiciously. She can be vulnerable among the select few, but guards her vulnerability from the world.

 

She can be soft and caring, or hold the line... and knows how to determine the appropriate course of action. She stands up for what she believes in, but only when she knows it serves a purpose, not simply to *act* strong... knowing that "posturing" is often a sign of weakness.

 

She knows how to give without losing herself.

[Mrs. H.]

My first impulse was to say 'self-sufficient', but that doesn't really cover it, and it implies that one should be earning one's own living in order to be a 'strong woman'.

 

I think it means having a strong character, being willing to do things even when they're hard, doing the right thing even when it hurts, and being willing to stick it out through the long haul, whether it is parenting difficult children, tough times in a marriage, etc. because you know it will get better on the other side.

 

However, on the flip side, of you are in an abusive relationship, or with someone very destructive, strength is in being able to pack up the kids and leave, for both your safety and theirs.

 

It's being willing to stand by your spouse and children when you know they are right, and being able to stand by your own decisions even when others think you're crazy.

 

It means not giving up hope when things get hard, even when your family members (even your dh) gave up a long time ago. It's pushing through the crushing darkness of depression and grief and coming out better on the other side.

 

It's choosing to live your life in an excellent manner, doing common things in an uncommon way, and trying to make the lives of others better in the process.

[Jenny in Atl]

I believe a strong person is one who can pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and keep going after falling flat on their face.

 

Very nicely said. :iagree:

[GothicGyrl]

For me--being strong has nothing to do with "submission" at all. I submit to no one, let alone not my DH. We are equals in everything and being strong means we both recognize that and act accordingly. It means I can do everything he can do and if I can't, I know how to look it up, and then do it, or how to get the help. I don't need to "ask" for permission to do this, I do it. I don't wait for permission, I do it.

 

Again, for me, it's the difference between a woman who has lost her husband (be it in death or by other means) and cannot function because she let him do it all, and losing her husband (be it death or by other means) and rises above that and DOES IT all.

 

I have a friend going through this right now. My own Abuella (dad's mom) went through it-- one is losing her husband to divorce(and another woman) and the other lost him to death. BOTH are clueless as to how they should survive.

 

I no longer speak to Abuella (she disowned me at birth anyway and only tolerated me growing up), and while I have sympathy for her loss (he was my best friend), I have no sympathy for her when it comes to her "I just don't know how to pay bills" schtick. There is no reason for a woman to say "He did it all, I don't know how to do it". I can not rely on others and I refuse to. My Grandmother (mom's mom) always taught me to "stand up for yourself, be counted for yourself, be heard for yourself. Do not let others do this for you".

 

And while I feel as much sympathy for my friend as I do my Abuella, and I totally there for her in every way I can be.. part of me can't help but wonder "If my dh up and left me right this minute, while I might worry about how I'd pay the bills because I am unemployed, I know what to do--I know how to do it, and I would get it done. I know where the bills are, who they go to, who to call, etc.."

 

It doesn't make me smarter or better than anyone, I guess for me, it just means I'm thinking ahead and refuse to become complacent in any facet of my life. It only takes one second for things to change an entire life around and because of that, I like to think I am stronger and better prepared than some.

[Janet in WA]

Can someone explain exactly what that means?

 

Tammy

I think that being a strong woman (or man, for that matter) means being able to do things that aren't easy for her/him. I coined a saying for my oldest son, who thought that speaking his mind whenever he felt like it meant he was "strong":

 

"The strongest man in the world is the one who can hold his own tongue."

 

(You can feel free to use that one with your mouthy teens any time you like.)

[Tammy]

nt

[lynn]

Being able to weather whatever life throws your way without crumbling beneath the weight of it all. I think of my Oma. Went through wars in Germany by herself, her mother died at 14 and it was just she and her brother. She taught me to be strong well atleast always told me that because I am German I am strong "you're strong, you're a German you going to be okay kid." is how she put it in her thick German accent. I didn't know this was so true until she died and I had to weather some life stress her to talk it out with. We solved all the family problems and problems of the world in our many conversations:D I sure do miss her but I hope to pass her legacy she gave me to my daughter.

[nancypants]

This:

 

:lol:

[Jenny in Atl]

:eek:Look at her legs!!!!

 

 

This:

 

:lol:

[Kelli in TN]

My first impulse was to say 'self-sufficient', but that doesn't really cover it, and it implies that one should be earning one's own living in order to be a 'strong woman'.

 

I think it means having a strong character, being willing to do things even when they're hard, doing the right thing even when it hurts, and being willing to stick it out through the long haul, whether it is parenting difficult children, tough times in a marriage, etc. because you know it will get better on the other side.

 

However, on the flip side, of you are in an abusive relationship, or with someone very destructive, strength is in being able to pack up the kids and leave, for both your safety and theirs.

 

It's being willing to stand by your spouse and children when you know they are right, and being able to stand by your own decisions even when others think you're crazy.

 

It means not giving up hope when things get hard, even when your family members (even your dh) gave up a long time ago. It's pushing through the crushing darkness of depression and grief and coming out better on the other side.

 

It's choosing to live your life in an excellent manner, doing common things in an uncommon way, and trying to make the lives of others better in the process.

 

:iagree:

[Carol in Cal.]

Can someone explain exactly what that means?

 

Tammy

 

US!

 

We are strong women, by and large.

[OhM]

So does the phrase "strong woman" have negative connotations for anyone else?

 

My mom's family had many "strong women". That's how we referred to them. My grandma had 4 sisters and 2 daughters - most of them were "strong women". They were "strong women" because they stoically tolerated their husbands' philandering, joblessness, neglect, drinking, gambling, and/or abuse (and after all of that, also stoically tolerated their "advances".) They did this while managing the household, being breadwinners, raising the children, and in some cases caring for parents or in-laws (who were also philandering, jobless, neglectful, drinking, gambling, or abusive.) They did all of this without complaining, whining, falling apart, or "laying down on the job."

 

I decided somewhere around my pre-teens that I did NOT want to be a "strong woman". When my xh became abusive, the advice from my aunt encouraged me to follow the family tradition with the august advice, "You made your bed, now lie in it, like the rest of us."

 

Sorry to be such a downer - I prefer to be a "loved woman", a "capable woman", a "loving woman" or any number of things. But nope, I hope I never again am called upon to be one of those "strong women".