HS and working full-time?

[Punchie]

Hello! I am new here. I have been lurking for a couple of weeks reading the various threads. My big question is – how hard is it to HS while working full-time (throw in the likelihood of 1 grad school class per semester for me)? The hours I work are relatively flexible, and I am currently on the waitlist for telework. DD is only 3 ½, so there’s a bit of time before she would start formal school. When DH is home, he is a full-time student, so that adds some leeway as we could work around each other’s schedules. (I would hope he would teach her math and science)

I want to HS DD in the worst way, but DH isn’t entirely onboard. Figuring out if this is possible will help me create a solid argument. The more information I’ve gathered the better off I’ll be in presenting this to him. When I brought it up to him on the phone recently, his response was, “so do you think you can handle it?†We’ll discuss it in depth when he comes home in several months. The philosophy laid out in TWTM is very much in line with how we feel about education. The trick is how I present this. He’s very much a physics and math sort of guy, and I’m the complete opposite.

Thank you for your help. J

[meet me in paris]

Well, I have 2 part time jobs and I do it, but my kids are a bit older... also my teaching job is primarily from home, so I can do most of it at night.

 

I think it's doable, but you'll have to be very organized and not burn yourself out. Most of what you would do for K or preK would be stuff that you would ordinarily want to do with your daughter anyway, like reading aloud, playing games, exploring outdoors, etc. There's no reason you can't do a bit of formal instruction each day and load a little more into the weekend. Especially when they're young!

 

Good luck!

[Karen in CO]

BUT we tag-team. I work weekends so that I can be home with my dc to homeschool them and then hubby takes over on the weekend. It is hard. It is hard on us as a family, and it would never work of we weren't both convinced that it is the right thing for our family.

 

With a flexible schedule or other opportunity, it still takes a lot of commitment and time and energy. Homeschooling is hard. Being a working mom is hard. Doing both is really hard. It is very worthwhile for my family, but we are all in it together. I'd also look at your local schools for possible choices. In my school district we have two different homeschool support schools. One is three days a week and focuses on reading/writing/math and the other is once a week and focuses on everything that falls in the enrichment category. Options such as this help to soften the all-or-nothing homeschooling choice and allow me to have a little space and time and support our crazy-hard schedule.

 

Good luck. and enjoy your kids.

[StephanieZ]

For me, it would be really hard to work FT while hs'ing. (Unless of course, dh can help a LOT.)

 

For a while (1 - 2 years), I did work FT while hs'ing. BUT, I had 95% flex-hours and worked at our family business, so I could blow it off whenever I had to (lots of hours, but could do it when I wantd to.) DH was then working about a zillion hours (start of phase of our family business), so there was no tag-team schooling then.

 

Meanwhile, when I worked abt 40 hours (some from home in the evenings and some late at night while dh was at home, but 25-35 hrs during the days). . . I had about 50 hours of paid household help. 18 hrs of a housekeeper/baby wrangler. 18 hours of a tutor/nanny. 12-18 hrs of a spanish tutor/helper/tutor/babywrangler/housekeeper.

 

At that time, I had a toddler and two elementary age schooling kids. It took one person to school the olders while another person was there to wrangle the toddler (very difficult baby!!) and keep the house from falling apart. So, I typically had TWO hired people in the home when I was gone. UGH. Not cheap, but we had no choices as I was irreplaceable at work but sadly somewhat replaceable at home (tho I did take a bit of pride that it takes two women to equal one mom).

 

As the kids have gotten older, it is much easier. I have gradually worked less and needed less help. Now, I just have 24 hours a week of help (both women have been with me from the beginning - 5 yrs!). . . and work maybe 12 (flex) hours in a typical week. I am one to over-reach so having extra help allows me to do more schooling, etc. In the spring, I will lose my tutor/governess that schools for me the 2 days I go to work each week. (She's moving cross country.) I won't replace her as I hope/expect that my dc will be mature enough to responsibly school according to their "lists" with just my housekeeper here to keep them fed/safe and the house clean. :)

 

Soooo, I am not sure this is helpful as I know hiring help isn't always an option. I guess I see it all boiling down to how much you want to do. There is only so much time in a day. . . I tend to want to do too much, so I would feel very frustrated and disappointed in myself if I didn't have time to do what I feel is "enough".

 

HTH

[G5052]

I've worked at least part-time for 11 years and homeschooled for some 8 years. My DH is very supportive, but his ability to help with household issues was limited by his work demands and now health issues. Prior to that I worked for 15 years in various professional positions.

 

Early on my DH worked extremely long hours, my part-time work and homeschooling preschool/early grades was plenty. There was no way that I could have worked full-time.

 

Then he worked closer to home and had more reasonable hours that allowed him to help more with household things, and I was able to work full-time at least part of the year and homeschool. The kids were young enough that we were done with school by lunchtime anyway.

 

Now homeschooling takes most of the day and my DH cannot help much with household demands because of health issues. I can get some household and work done during homeschool hours because the schooling is more independent now, but I have to be available and aware of what they're working on all day. So working full-time right now is not an option. There aren't enough hours in the day any more.

 

And I'll note that I've never had household help, and have no relatives closeby that could help with homeschooling and/or childcare.

 

You cannot be a superstar homeschooler and a superstar employee at the same time. You're going to have to cut corners. We had to go to more scripted curriculum than is outlined in WTM because I didn't have the time to track down and coordinate my own variations. And I receive good reviews at work, but I've never won an award and my raises are only average. My first priority is homeschooling, work comes second. So I get docked every year for limited committee involvement, lack of volunteer time, and not going after grants. Priorities!

Edited January 6, 2010 by GVA

[Sunshine State Sue]

I think it's doable, but you'll have to be very organized and not burn yourself out.

 

With a flexible schedule or other opportunity, it still takes a lot of commitment and time and energy.

 

You cannot be a superstar homeschooler and a superstar employee at the same time.

 

When ds was 5, I worked 20hrs/wk (2 days in the office and 1/2 day from home) and dh was in school full-time, so we tag teamed. Now, I am working 30hrs/wk (from home) and dh is employed full-time out of the home but with a somewhat flexible schedule. He covers 1/2 of our science, a bit of religion, and I do the rest. For a while, ds went to after school care at the local rec center so that I could have some peace to work.

 

I personally could not hs and work full-time. This last year, with ds in 8th grade, has been very difficult for me, partially due to peri-menopause. I just don't have the energy or patience I used to have. OTOH, you really don't need so much time to hs K-3. We spent 20min/day 4day/wk for K. Ds also went to a science museum class once a week. So, I would encourage you to try it for K and see what happens.

[VA6336]

I've been lucky enough to only work very flexible whenever I want to part time hours, but I know a few moms who do homeschool and work 30+ hours a week. The one thing they all seem to do is to have a dedicated all-day "work" day where they hire a homeschooled teenager to come and keep the kids at home the whole day while they work from home (or go to the office). They just do a four day school week and leave lots of arts/crafts/outdoor projects for the kids to do on that fifth day. Their jobs are all very different, but that one day of at-home babysitter seems to be the common thread.

[gr8tcook]

I hate to oversimplify because I do not wish to offend anyone...but when you are homeschooling you are a fulltime teacher. particularly if you endevour (sp?) to teach in a classical style. If you subscribe to a service or use all box curriculum you could probably do it. But I would take time off to learn how to homeschool before attempting to do both. It would be like taking on 2 fulltime jobs and only knowing one of them really well. Now if your job is such that you can schedule 3 12 hour shifts back to back then it might be easier...but remember there is still laundry and vacuuming and everything you do now that will need to get accomplished it takes time to figure out how to do it all and decide what you can't do.

[Renee in NC]

I worked full-time at various times since 2005 (mostly working.) I do not work anymore. It is HARD! There was no tag teaming, no household help, and not a whole lot of homeschooling going on. I can see that now, from the other side, but at the time I thought I could handle it. I also finished my Bachelor's degree and started my Master's during that time. And had farm animals and (sometimes) a large garden.

 

I would never, ever do it again unless I had help. Dh isn't the homeschooling type - he just isn't self-motivated enough and he is too extroverted. He needs to work and when he isn't working he wants to play.

 

I have a lot more children than most, so maybe if I only had one or two it would work. When I started official K with my now 11yo, I had 3 other children and I was pregnant with another. When I went to work, I had 5 children total and had my 6th within the first year.

 

Homeschooling is now my FT job with 4 I am officially teaching.

[LizzyBee]

It is very hard and requires an unflagging commitment. As moms, we do what we have to do, but don't kid yourself about how hard it will be.

 

I worked full time when my kids were younger, but after a few years I had to cut back to part time. I still work 1600 hours a year, so it's close to full time, but better than it was before.

[Punchie]

I guess a lot of it depends on how DH will handle the situation. I am the main breadwinner in the family and I can't cut back hours, I can just shift when I get those hours in. If I'm being honest, it probably will be taking on more than I can handle, but I would like to try at least. I think if I can work from home (which will hopefully happen in the next couple of years), then I could manage it. I do appreciate your input and experience.

[AlmiraGulch]

I am a single parent and I work full-time from home. I travel a couple of times a month for a couple of days at a time. I'm also in grad school taking 1 course at a time online.

 

I just started this homeschooling journey for my 8th grade dd this year, and I have to say it has gone very well. For the first few months it was all me. I did all of the curriculum research and selection, lesson planning, provided all guidance and direction, did all the grading. It was not easy, but not THAT bad because a) we started early (in July) and eased in until we got the hang of it and ended up with a full load of classes, and b) my dd is quite bright, and c) I intentionally selected curricula that was primarily self-directed.

 

When my unemployed ex-husband moved back into my home (don't ask) I told him that since he had no job he needed to assume the role of home school teacher for our child. Honestly, he has done ok, but he still drops the ball often so I still have to follow up every couple of days to make sure that everything is done. He also has no concept of how to grade a paper (even though we use IEW and the guidelines are VERY clear) and so I have to grade all of those papers.

 

A couple of weeks ago my 7 year old dd asked me to home school her next year. I think she's jealous that the three of us are home together all day. Unfortunately, I had to tell her no. I'd love to do it, but the reality is that even though it is working out for the 13 year old I simply do not have the time to actually instruct a 2nd grader at the level she would need for it to be productive. If I actually had to sit with her all and teach it just could not be done. Not with working full-time. AND I don't trust her father to do it "right."

 

I guess I just wanted to share my story with you because there are certainly parallels. I don't have any answers are advice except that I encourage you to think long and hard (as I'm sure you are) about how much time you could actually dedicate to your primary school-aged child who is not yet capable of being self-directed.

 

If you figure out a way to do it, please share! I'd love to bring the little one home. I just don't have another minute to give.

 

Best of luck!

[kalanamak]

The trick is how I present this. He’s very much a physics and math sort of guy, and I’m the complete opposite.

 

Thank you for your help. J

 

I work full time and homeschool one. He's active but doesn't have any serious issues like ADHD or ODD, and I have a hubby fully on board. That means he is fine with no three course meal plopped down the moment he gets home kind of thing.

 

Is hubby's concern academic or whether he'll not have the home he feels a wife should provide? If he will not cut any slack on entertaining, a beautiful house, etc, you WILL have trouble keeping up with schooling. If he is a mathy guy, set out a schedule and show him it is realistic.

For me, getting to work very early and coming home by 4 is very helpful. Plus I don't have any activities like church or family visits on weekends. I have no family out here, and we school all Sat morning while hubby goes to church (if he is a phase where he goes to church).

 

However, if you throw in a grad school class, no long debates on this forum allowed. :D

 

Another thing I did was research and pre-read A LOT before I got to first grade. That way, if something wasn't working, I already had a plan on what to try next. Since we are "comfortable", after doing pre-ETC, e.g. I got a couple of ETC books in case SWR didn't work out. Every now and then I tried them, but always bucked up and went back to SWR. Just an e.g.

 

Ask hubby his concerns, more specifically, and come back here with more specific questions.

[Punchie]

I spoke w/DH yesterday, and his concerns don't really have anything to do w/academics or domestic duties. When he's home, he does a good chunk of the domestic stuff since he doesn't really work, and school doesn't take up a lot of time.

 

DH's concerns:

1. Socialization - he thinks hs kids are "weird" and that they suffer from not being exposed to other children in a ps environment. He feels ps will help them learn to deal with teasing, etc...

2. Property taxes - we pay them, so we should utilize the benefits.

3. He doesn't want to be "stuck at home" with DD b/c he has "things to do". He wouldn't be stuck at home w/her b/c I would be there for at least half of the day. Once I get approved for telework, I would be home all day.

 

Regarding grad school, I have no problem taking time off from it. It's kind of an icing on the cake degree, so if it takes me 10 yrs to get it, it's not a big deal.

 

I love to research and plan, which is part of the reason I'm starting this process when DD is 3 1/2. By the time she gets to K/1st, I will have figured out what I would like in a curriculum with alternatives in case a given area needs to be tweaked a bit.

 

Right now, DD goes to a pre-school full-time (mostly play-centered, though they do informally teach them letters, numbers, calendars, etc...). At home, we read a lot of books ranging from classic picture books to fairy tales to science. I have started working w/her on phonics, trying to keep it light and fun. I also bought Mathmatical Reasoning Beginning 1 and Building Thinking Skills Beginning from the Critical Thinking Company. We work on this about 3x per week for only 10-20 min. I stop once she begins losing interest or gets fussy. DH is onboard with this, though he is slightly concerned I'll overprepare her for ps K.

 

I do want to add that DH is fully onboard for afterschooling.

[kalanamak]

 

DH's concerns:

1. Socialization - he thinks hs kids are "weird" and that they suffer from not being exposed to other children in a ps environment. He feels ps will help them learn to deal with teasing, etc...

2. Property taxes - we pay them, so we should utilize the benefits.

3. He doesn't want to be "stuck at home" with DD b/c he has "things to do". He wouldn't be stuck at home w/her b/c I would be there for at least half of the day. Once I get approved for telework, I would be home all day.

 

 

1. How many homeschoolers does he know?

2. We have cheap cigarettes nearby. I see people lining up at the drive up. Hasn't tempted me yet. The people who can sell them cheaper get a tax break, so everyone else paying taxes subsidizes this by not getting cig tax. Should I take up smoking?

3. Take kid along.

[Moniksca]

I am a full-time grad student and will be looking for a full-time job once I'm done. The kids are home with dh but he does not do any of the homeschooling. We work for about an hour before I head to school, and I leave him some more of the independent work to work on while I am at school (copywork/handwriting/assigned reading) and then I work with him on the weekends which is when my dh works. Once I am working, I hope to do the same, get some work done in the mornings and evenings during the week and then weekends usually during other ds nap time. I think if you really want to homeschool, you'll find a way to do it, we're committed to providing an education for our children and I hope that I can continue on this journey. Good luck.

[Happy2BaMom]

...but don't be married to it yet. Be willing to be honest if it is not working and make a change. I think hsing is best in most cases. But I've also seen a few too many cases where the parents are not homeschooling...they just aren't sending their kids to school. Eventually the kid(s) get put back into school, where they are academically behind and weird (because the parents didn't take the time to teach them good behavior properly at home). Then all the teachers compare notes and shake their heads over how terrible hsing is. (I know this from personal experience in a school setting.)

 

Try it. Do all you can to make it work. Set a date to review how it's working. If your child is playing solo too much of the time and academics are regularly sliding, you'll have your answer. But you just might find it's all going great, too! Best of luck to you.

[Punchie]

I don't know how many hs'ers he's come across. I know he has, and b/c they didn't act the way "normal" people did, he thought they were "weird." To me, that has nothing to do w/hs and everything to do w/how the kids were raised and the what their individual personalities are. One of the guys I work w/was hs'd and he is willing to talk to DH about his experience, etc...

 

DD will go to ps for K b/c I don't think by then our schedules will align enough to allow it (Fall 2011). I would like to have her home for 1st and 2nd to see how it works for us and if DD enjoys it. If everything falls into place, then we'll keep hs'ing her. If not, she'll go back to ps and we'll supplement. 2 academic years seems like it would be a span of time to get acclimated to hs'ing and to determine if it will work out.

 

This will be a lot easier once DH comes home. I know his biggest complaint regarding education is the lack of critical thinking and understanding the reasoning behind why something needs to be taught/learned. He was the student who would get Cs in class b/c he never did homework, but would ace any and all tests put in front of him. He has said multiple times how bored he was and didn't understand why he should be bothered learning what was taught b/c no context was given. I don't think ps has changed that much from then until now. His views seem to be more compatible with hs than ps.

 

Thank you all for you responses and help with this. I really do appreciate it.

[Caribbean Queen]

He doesn't want to be "stuck at home" with DD b/c he has "things to do". He wouldn't be stuck at home w/her b/c I would be there for at least half of the day. Once I get approved for telework, I would be home all day.

.

 

 

This is the reason why I can't work outside the home and homeschool. My husband does not want to be committed to staying home with the children.

[Osaubi]

I work full time at home and homeschool K4 and 2nd grade. My DH works during the day and I work at night so there is always someone to watch the kids. It is very hard, but with careful planning it can be done. School can be done in a short amount of time for your dd age.

 

Your child doesn't need to be chained at home. He can take her with him most places.

 

Find a homeschool group in your area and see if they offer field trips or classes when she is a little older. In my area we often have to turn down things b/c there is so much to do. I would also encourage you to talk to other homeschool moms that have older kids. Interacting with the homeschool teen group really set my mind at ease for the future.

 

Kids don't need to be in a PS setting to learn the hardships of school bullying or teasing.

[Spinning]

I work part-time at home and am going to school myself, plus my DH is a minister. It is busy and it is tough, but doable. My DH does devotionals with the girls, but I do all the HSing.

 

Just food for thought: I think one of the things I have done wrong with both my children is thinking that I could get by with doing too little. My oldest has struggled with reading and I feel my lack of consistency has to blame--because of the lack of balance between work and homeschooling. With my youngest, I'm trying to be much more consistent about school and especially with teaching her to read. However, you seem to already be off to a great start.

 

I also agree completely with a previous poster about finding a HS group! We have a local one that is awesome--it's great for support as a HSing parent and great for my children!

[LittleIzumi]

I work FT and am in one distance college course (upper division). Dh and I work opposite schedules and the girls are young, so it doesn't take much time at all. :)

[momto2Cs]

I work part-time out of the home and am a fulltime college student. Dh works FT out of home. Thanks to flexible scheduling though, we've been able to do this for 4 years (ds is now in 3rd grade and we've homeschooled all the way through).

 

I would say that keeping things simple and being organized are two key points. Learn to share the job too - if I can't get to something with the kids during the day, dh can pick it up with them in the evening. Sometimes we school on weekends too if life gets too much in the way during the week.

 

Learning to plan ahead, even the cooking, helps.

 

I won't lie and say it is easy, but it is so, SO worthwhile!