Am I the only one who really appreciates getting presents?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Our most basic needs are taken care of and then some. We have some of our wants taken care of. But money has always been tight. Now it is a bit tighter. I appreciate so much every gift that we are given. Food gifts stretch the food dollar just a little bit more and give us some treats that I don't have time or strength to make. Clothing for adults or kids is a blessing because frankly I have nothing written for clothing on our budget because on paper we have none left over for that category (we do somehow buy some but I haven't bought anything other than underwear for myself in the last 3 years). The kids get two toys (or other things they want) for their birthday and another 2 for Christmas but they aren't extravagant toys. This year we've been making whatever we are able to make to stretch money even further. They earn the money for any toys that they want otherwise during the year.

 

I find it a blessing when others share with us. I don't expect it. We give a limited amount. I have cut my gift list to others who seem to genuinely appreciate what I give them. (Yes, I realize it is about grace but I have few enough resources that I've decided to use them only on those who actually appreciate it.)

 

There are times when we give generously beyond our means. But those gifts of time and money are ministry related. God has always blessed us. I don't know or really care if it is because of our giving. I just know that He's blessed us and we've always come out ok even though the budget papers say that we shouldn't.

 

But anyway - my thesis was that I think of all presents that we get as grace blessings passed on to us by others. I don't know why I'm posting this except perhaps to find out if I'm alone in my perspective!

[MariannNOVA]

I'm not certain if this is what you mean, but if my 29 y/o dd and her husband give the kids or us gifts, it is absolutely precious to us because I know that they select gifts so carefully so as not to waste money (they are financially poor as church-mice) and they put so much time and research into items that are uniquely matched to the recipient. :001_smile:

 

I'm not unappreciative of the clothing my in laws and my mom give the kids, but they do it with sense of obligation not with a sense of joy.

[lgm]

I appreciate presents that are given from the heart.

 

I don't enjoy Christmas extended family gift giving because of all the dysfunction involved..I"m much happier now that we've stopped. I could never throw the useless generic things straight in the trash, and it took time to find homes for all of it since nothing was returnable. The last year we exchanged, I rec'd a $5 sweater from every inlaw...none in my size. I was lucky and heard of a community member whose dd had grown and needed them....was so happy to hear the gal no longer had to wear her coat everyday to school to disguise not having a week's worth of shirts and that mom's stress in affording a thoughtful & necessary gift was relieved. I grew up getting necessities for gifts..am uncomfortable with the obligatory buy something, anything, just to meet an obligation thinking.

 

In my community, Boys and Girls Club takes used but good toys and redistributes. That helps many many preschoolers with their developmental needs. Church thrift stores sell clothing cheaper than goodwill/s.army, but usually the church secretaries figure out who is in need and find them free things.

[jazzyfizzle]

I do also appreciate gifts, even gift cards to something like Lowe's or the bookstore, allow us to work on some small household project and not feel guilty spending, or (to me) splurging on a new book, or even great used books online.

 

I am also one of those that dislikes getting clothes from anyone, there are just so few things that I really like to wear, so that I usually end up buying the same jeans and shirts or shoes.

 

I feel very grateful when someone has taken the time to shop and buy a gift for me.

[dangermom]

I love presents! I don't get very many, and I appreciate them a lot.

[Daisy]

I appreciate the sentiment associated with gift-giving but...

 

1. I rarely get them.

2. When I do get them, I rarely get something I actually want. I get generic stuff like bath soap.

3. Gifts are not my love language so they don't make me feel loved. I don't **need** them.

 

I DO appreciate when a friend passes down her son's too-small pants or when a neighbor shares their over-abundance of plums. We do the same thing. Share oranges, clothes, books, etc.

[Parrothead]

I have cut my gift list to others who seem to genuinely appreciate what I give them. (Yes, I realize it is about grace but I have few enough resources that I've decided to use them only on those who actually appreciate it.)

 

And you should. For years dh and I gave his 3 brothers Chritmas gifts without a verbal or written thank you or a reciprocated gift. Not any more. When I realized the way things were going I decided to only give to family that appreciated them. That cut down our our holiday giving by about 10 people.

[joannqn]

I, personally, have a really hard time with receiving gifts due to growing up in a very dysfunctional home that got much more dysfunctional around birthdays and holidays. I just haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm getting better.

 

I do want to say that I have a friend that is so excited and happy and appreciative about receiving gifts that you just want to give her more so you can watch her receive them. It's so much fun to give her things. I'm just now learning how to knit socks and she's getting one of the first pairs...she loves socks and I know her favorite color. :D

[Daisy]

I think it helps to get to know the person who are giving the gifts to.

 

I explained to my family this year that I would rather have a newsy letter than a physical gift any day of the week. That is just my personality. Why pay $$ to mail bath soap when you can thrill me with a letter??

 

I'm the same way with friends. Let's go out to Starbucks and chit-chat over coffee instead of exchanging gifts.

 

My sister, however, is completely different. Gifts make her feel appreciated. So I give her a gift.

 

My brother wants me to ooh and aah over his 2yo daughter. He doesn't care about anything else. So we make sure to send her lots of Auntie letters, stickers, and frequent small things so that she "remembers us" and my brother feels loved.

 

Everyone is different and yet I think most people appreciate being loved and thought of (except of course for those crazy dysfunctional, control-freak situations).

[SnowWhite]

Yes, I am always thankful and blessed by any gift.

 

I have to admit, though, in my bleary eyed sleep-deprived state from being awake with our 6 month old son overnight, I misread your title to say, "Am I the only one who really appreciates getting pregnant?"

 

:lol::lol::lol::auto::auto::auto:;)

[springmama]

I love giving gifts and honestly do not care if I ever get one from anyone other than my husband or kids. Everytime I think of it and can do it, I give a small gift to someone. Friend's birthdays, friend's kids birthdays...heck, I'd give a gift to a stranger on her birthday if I could. It's just fun to me.

[Rosie_0801]

I appreciate practical gifts that are worth receiving.

 

I don't appreciate cheap and nasty things, dust collectors, tins of biscuits that don't even taste nice, stuff that is clearly a token gesture or things I can't imagine why the person would ever think I (or anyone else) would want. It's natural to be disappointed if the gift giver missed the mark a little, but it is difficult to rustle up gratitude they don't seem to have even *tried* to please you. It may be the thought that counts, but a poor quality thought only deserves poor quantity gratitude. Like my millionaire inlaws who give dh a free packet of cards swiped off a cruise ship each year, and the year his (also wealthy) sister gave him a jar of olives she didn't want out of her pantry. It was kind of funny actually, when he went to cook with them, he found they weren't pitted. He seemed more offended by the pits than the "gift" itself. "How am I supposed to cook with unpitted olives!" he ranted. Offensive at the time, but in hindsight :lol:

 

:)

Rosie

[Jean in Newcastle]

I appreciate presents that are given from the heart.

 

 

Me too!

 

3. Gifts are not my love language so they don't make me feel loved. I don't **need** them.

 

I DO appreciate when a friend passes down her son's too-small pants or when a neighbor shares their over-abundance of plums. We do the same thing. Share oranges, clothes, books, etc.

 

Gifts aren't my love language either. But I do appreciate them. I think "acts of service" are more of my love language. The kind of giving you listed at the end is something that I would appreciate very much too.

 

When I realized the way things were going I decided to only give to family that appreciated them.

 

Me too! Most of those people don't give me anything anyway. Or they sort of shove it into my hand. So I don't feel any obligation to give anything to them back.

 

I, personally, have a really hard time with receiving gifts due to growing up in a very dysfunctional home that got much more dysfunctional around birthdays and holidays. I just haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm getting better.

 

I'm sorry about that. I've only recently started to enjoy birthdays. Birthdays at boarding school were a nightmare where everyone did their best to make your day miserable. I spent much of my time hiding so that no one would stick me in a cold shower with all my clothes on, etc.

 

I do want to say that I have a friend that is so excited and happy and appreciative about receiving gifts that you just want to give her more so you can watch her receive them.

 

I like it when someone knows how to receive grace as well as to give it!

 

I think it helps to get to know the person who are giving the gifts to.

 

When we jettisoned the ungrateful people from our gift giving list we realized that we were left with the people who also took the time to bless us with their friendship (including family members) all year long.

 

Yes, I am always thankful and blessed by any gift.

 

I have to admit, though, in my bleary eyed sleep-deprived state from being awake with our 6 month old son overnight, I misread your title to say, "Am I the only one who really appreciates getting pregnant?"

 

:lol::auto:;)

 

:smilielol5:

 

I'm not certain if this is what you mean, but if my 29 y/o dd and her husband give the kids or us gifts, it is absolutely precious to us because I know that they select gifts so carefully so as not to waste money (they are financially poor as church-mice) and they put so much time and research into items that are uniquely matched to the recipient.

 

I'm not unappreciative of the clothing my in laws and my mom give the kids, but they do it with sense of obligation not with a sense of joy.

 

I do know what you mean. I hate being the recipient of obligatory gift giving.

 

I do also appreciate gifts, even gift cards to something like Lowe's or the bookstore, allow us to work on some small household project and not feel guilty spending, or (to me) splurging on a new book, or even great used books online.

 

I am also one of those that dislikes getting clothes from anyone, there are just so few things that I really like to wear, so that I usually end up buying the same jeans and shirts or shoes.

 

I feel very grateful when someone has taken the time to shop and buy a gift for me.

 

:iagree: except that I do like to get clothes. They almost always have much better taste in clothes than I do! The only ones that I really blinked at were the mu-mus that I received from my dh's aunt! :blink:

 

I love presents! I don't get very many, and I appreciate them a lot.

 

Definitely.

 

I love giving gifts and honestly do not care if I ever get one from anyone other than my husband or kids. Everytime I think of it and can do it, I give a small gift to someone. Friend's birthdays, friend's kids birthdays...heck, I'd give a gift to a stranger on her birthday if I could. It's just fun to me.

 

I wish I could do that. My biggest wish for money money is so that I could be more spontaneously generous. Well that, and so that I could pay all the bills each month without getting tied up in knots. . .

 

I appreciate practical gifts that are worth receiving.

 

 

 

Yes, I appreciate practical gifts too. . .

[Rosie_0801]

I wish I could do that. My biggest wish for money money is so that I could be more spontaneously generous. Well that, and so that I could pay all the bills each month without getting tied up in knots. . .

 

Yes, I appreciate practical gifts too. . .

 

 

I miss being able to do that too. Ah, I remember the old days when I could do nearly anything I wanted on my crappy $22,000 a year wage. ;)

 

It's funny to consider what practical gifts are socially acceptable and which aren't. I remember as a teen, my aunt asking what I wanted for Christmas, and I asked for some stamps and aerogrammes so I could write to my penpals. "I can't give you that!" she exclaimed, horrified. So she bought me a couple of pairs of knickers in a little gift box. Uh, thanks. The aerogrammes would have been cheaper and more useful. Oh well. I did a short unit on gift giving in a first year anthropology course, ages ago. That was quite interesting. The major point raised was that gift giving is supposed to be about generosity but is more about power and obligation. Not always true, in my opinion, but it certainly is sometimes...

 

Anyhow, enough of my waffling...

 

:)

Rosie

[Sherry in OH]

I love receiving homemade gifts. The ornaments my grandmother made for me are on my tree, the afghans on my son's beds. We really enjoyed the pots of soup and homemade bread a former neighbor made for us. Practical gifts are great too. I especially like the gift of time.

 

Generic gifts because the giver had to give something? I appreciate being remembered and say thank you. But when I say "you really don't need to buy anything," I really mean it.