Julie in Austin Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 So: a woman at park day strikes up a conversation with me in which she uses the word "retarded" to mean "stupid" more than once. I was horrified. I really, really wanted to say something but couldn't quite figure out how to say it. (And I don't usually have that problem.;)) Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Hmm, I'd be tempted to ask her if she always let new acquaintances know how "retarded" she was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macrina Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I would say I have a _______ (friend, brother, cousin, whatever) with mental delays and her choice of words offends me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Hmm, I'd be tempted to ask her if she always let new acquaintances know how "retarded" she was. :lol:. Funny, but totally NOT pc. Still amusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 By park day, do you mean that this woman is part of your hs group? I would have looked horrified (I do not have a poker face) and then smiled a tight little smile and excused myself at the very first change I got. I HATE that word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 :lol:. Funny, but totally NOT pc. Still amusing. I've never claimed to be pc. In fact, I'm gloriously not pc. :lol: I have some Down's buddies. Using that word around me is not a smart thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnandtinagilbert Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 :lol:. Funny, but totally NOT pc. Still amusing. why I love Remudamom! Playing stupid helps...."You mentioned retarded. Are there developmental delays, or do you mean just plain stupid?" Those words were interchangeable when I was young. Perhaps she meant no offense, but is simply in the habit of or ignorant to modern usage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 So: a woman at park day strikes up a conversation with me in which she uses the word "retarded" to mean "stupid" more than once. I was horrified. I really, really wanted to say something but couldn't quite figure out how to say it. (And I don't usually have that problem.;)) Any ideas? I would not correct a total stranger. People who are friendly and not glued to cell phones or having a look like their piles are acting up because they have to take their kid to the park should be rewarded for their efforts, not splashed with cold water. Directly calling someone a REtard may be different, but I suspect this person's use was like the other thread' comments about the term gay to mean stupid. If this is an adult and not a teen just saying what everyone else does, I think they are perhaps a little "intellectually underprivileged" and could do with brushing elbows with a person of better vocabulary (like yourself). :) That is how I think of it when I cope with the people my mother quietly referred to as the "hoi polloi". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Perhaps she meant no offense, but is simply in the habit of or ignorant to modern usage. I would probably just assume she didn't mean any offense, and let it go. If she were a close friend, I would gently let her know that her choice of words may be offensive to many people, but if this is a casual acquaintance, I wouldn't bother educating her. I know that I'd be very uncomfortable in that situation, too, but I don't know how I would broach the subject with her if I didn't know her very well. Does she seem like a nice person, other than her unfortunate tendency to use an inappropriate word? I honestly think she may not know what she's saying, and while someone should tell her about it, I'm not entirely sure it should be you, unless there's a delicate way of doing it during your conversation. If you're not careful, you could end up in a big argument with her about it, and that's probably not what you want. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 If it was someone I had just met that minute and was likely to never see again, I would just excuse myself from her company as quickly as I could. If it is a friend who you will be interacting with on a regular basis, I would gently tell her that the use of that word bothers me and hope she wouldn't be offended - but I would have to say it either way. It may help her to be more careful with her words in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I would not correct a total stranger. People who are friendly and not glued to cell phones or having a look like their piles are acting up because they have to take their kid to the park should be rewarded for their efforts, not splashed with cold water. Directly calling someone a REtard may be different, but I suspect this person's use was like the other thread' comments about the term gay to mean stupid. If this is an adult and not a teen just saying what everyone else does, I think they are perhaps a little "intellectually underprivileged" and could do with brushing elbows with a person of better vocabulary (like yourself). :) That is how I think of it when I cope with the people my mother quietly referred to as the "hoi polloi". :iagree: I wouldn't say something to a total stranger. I might wince involuntarily, though, when they said that. I do correct my nieces and nephews and other relatives who say retarded and gay when they really mean something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 That kind of stuff does not bother me at all. If I meant someone with Down's Syndrome I would say so. 'Retarded' in the lingo of my youth means someone who is intentionally acting stoopid or lame (and I don't mean hobbling around either). I would give others the benefit of the doubt. I *hate* PC, in this instance. However, don't get me started on kids saying, "That's so gay." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FourOaks Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 The use of that word in that context really rubs me the wrong way. I've had several friends who use that term and it really does offend me, but I never have said anything. In fact, someone just said it the other day in conversation with me, but I just can't bring myself to say anything about it. I'm just so non-confrontational. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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