Training an ADD child to sit still

[caitlinsmom]

My dd is going to be 7 in December (and is ADD!) and ds will be 5 in March. They still can not sit still through our church service (1hr) and it drives me nuts!! I dont mind the wiggles when they are contained to where they sit, however they move around, wiggle, talk (loudly at times) etc. I feel like at the very least my dd should be able to handle sitting there quietly and fairly still. Am I crazy in this thinking?

 

Anyone have any tips to help "learn" this skill? Tips, tricks. etc?

[tex-mex]

W-e-l-l... personally, it does seem like an impossible task? Is there a way to avoid the issue and come up with an acceptable compromise (i.e. bag of quiet activities to do) that doesn't break his spirit and re-trains according to ADHD symptoms? I'd hate to see the child associate God with punishment for not being able to sit still. (???)

 

Here is another old thread on a similar issue. Hope it helps. :-)

Edited October 6, 2009 by tex-mex

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I am 38 years old, have ADD, and cannot sit still for an entire hour.

[LG Gone Wild]

My dd is going to be 7 in December (and is ADD!) and ds will be 5 in March. They still can not sit still through our church service (1hr) and it drives me nuts!! I dont mind the wiggles when they are contained to where they sit, however they move around, wiggle, talk (loudly at times) etc. I feel like at the very least my dd should be able to handle sitting there quietly and fairly still. Am I crazy in this thinking?

 

Anyone have any tips to help "learn" this skill? Tips, tricks. etc?

 

You have better luck asking them not to breathe.

 

Yes, you are crazy. Yes, kids can drive you nuts. :tongue_smilie:

[LibraryLover]

Kids in synagogue do not have to sit there and be quiet, ime. Every service I have ever been to, I have seen little kids moving around, running to the back, going into the hallways etc. I don't understand why little Christian kids have to sit there. :D

 

Sometimes we create ADD by our wrong expectations. Unless the ADD is severe, I don't see how you can tell ADD from regular busyness at age 3 or 4.

 

I am not one of those people who doesn't think ADD exists. It does, ime. In my life. I know it does. However, why do we have to exacerbate it so?

[homeschoolally]

a little too much for a 7 year old with ADD. You may find, as we did, that a few years makes all the difference in the world. I think my son was about 9 before he was truly able to sit in church for more than 30 minutes or so without being disruptive. These days, at 11, he does really well with it--but he wasn't even close at 7.

It will get better every year, as he matures. I don't think you should be too hard on him now--it might make a negative association with church.

[athena1277]

Each of my dc has a small bag of quiet things they are allowed to do during the sermon at church. We plan to wean dd (6.5yo) off the extras before too long. What we plan to do is give her a notebook and pencil and make a game of listening for a certain word (like "grace", "pray", or "Jesus") in the sermon. She can make a mark each time she hears the word and add up the times at the end. Dh and I both did this as children and it helps them to start listening to the sermon, even if they don't get the whole point of the message. I know it is hard to pay attention if you are ADD, but maybe a goal like this would help.

[MariannNOVA]

My dd is going to be 7 in December (and is ADD!) and ds will be 5 in March. They still can not sit still through our church service (1hr) and it drives me nuts!! I dont mind the wiggles when they are contained to where they sit, however they move around, wiggle, talk (loudly at times) etc. I feel like at the very least my dd should be able to handle sitting there quietly and fairly still. Am I crazy in this thinking?

 

Anyone have any tips to help "learn" this skill? Tips, tricks. etc?

 

My ADD twins will be nine in a couple of weeks -- they wouldn't be able to sit still for 30 seconds let alone an hour until their med begins working (about 20 minutes after it is given to them) and I wouldn't in a million years expect them to be able to sit still prior to that.....and believe me, I have tried :svengo:...and tried.....:svengo:.....and.....well you know what I am saying.

Children in a Spanish Church Service (Church of G-d, for example) are not expected to sit still or sit quietly, from what I have observed, and it doesn't seem to bother anyone.

 

Would you be more comfortable sitting in the last row of pews or seats - usually a place that is less conspicuous?

DH and I in the past (before meds and their ability to go to Sunday School) would spell each other by sitting in a pew in the back and taking turns going in and out of the vestibule - keeping them busy with something NEW and DIFFERENT that they would only see during Church service so it might hold their attention a little longer. Also, books on the iPod, leapsters with ear phones, Leap Pads with ear phones.

 

I know what it can be like -- hope this helps.

:001_smile:

[Tree House Academy]

My ADHD son learned the hard way. When he was 7, he could no longer go to children's church, so he sat with us in the "big church." At first, he had to sit between dh and I the whole time and there were consequences for certain behaviors. He was not allowed to talk - at all. He could draw or color though and he did this most of the time. Now, I am proud to say, that he will sit very respectfully in church a row in front of us and not make a sound. He is a bit over 10 now. It took time and a real driving home of what our expectations were of him during the service.

[chiguirre]

I got my 8yo high-functioning autistic ds and 5yo dd to sit still (enough) and be quiet at Mass, although it took a while. First, we started building up by only staying for the first 20 minutes of church, through the reading of the gospel. There was no way they were going to sit through a homily, so I didn't even try for several months. Then we'd try staying and they'd get a small treat if they made it through. This worked pretty well.

 

I bought a children's missal and that made a huge difference because ds could read the liturgy and know what's happening and what's coming next. Dd likes the pictures and is almost up to the reading level now. There's enough getting up, sitting, kneeling and reciting by the congregation to keep them interested enough not to fuss. There's also lots of kids from their CCE classes so I just have to point out that X, Y or Z is behaving nicely to get them back in line usually. There are a lot of kids, so they don't have to be perfect, just not disruptive.

 

Good luck finding something that works for you.

[sheryl]

My dd is going to be 7 in December (and is ADD!) and ds will be 5 in March. They still can not sit still through our church service (1hr) and it drives me nuts!! I dont mind the wiggles when they are contained to where they sit, however they move around, wiggle, talk (loudly at times) etc. I feel like at the very least my dd should be able to handle sitting there quietly and fairly still. Am I crazy in this thinking?

 

Anyone have any tips to help "learn" this skill? Tips, tricks. etc?

 

We address issues as such on the special needs board....a wealth of information.

 

My 10 yo dd was diagnosed with add/adhd. She's on meds now and it helps. Rule of thumb: IF possible, the earlier the intervention, the better.

[newbie]

Fidgets are great to keep them occupied. Whether it be playdoh, or a squeezie toy, some kind of manipulative. This keeps their hands busy. They dont have to build, just be able to hold and squeeze something.

 

Also, gum is a great tool.

[TravelingChris]

I am 46, mildely to moderately ADHD, and going to a church with a very long sermon. My moderately to severe 16 yo dd who is medicated goes to the service too. Here is what we do- I try to take notes on the sermon but since my pastor has a tendency to talk too slowly and go over points more than one time, it is hard to pay attention. So I do things that are not too distracting for others: lists of things to do, menus, read the Bible, read the hymn book, etc. My 16 yo tends to draw and doodle. When I was little, I was allowed religious books like Bible story books and stories of saints. I would read those. My ADHD children would be allowed to read the Bible, do fun pages the church provided (word search Scripture or connect the dots of an Ark or that kind of thing), take stuffed toys that didn't make noise, color pages quietly, etc. We did not do drug holidays or medication free weekends so they were medicated. I can't even imagine what my probably severly ADHD dd would have been like without medication in church at age 7. It would not have been a good thing for anyone.

[caitlinsmom]

Thank you for the ideas and suggestions. I know that for the 4yo this is asking quite a lot and I definatly dont require him to sit still. My dd however is the one that I think should be able to, but I wasnt sure with the ADD as an added issue.

 

I guess we will just keep plugging away until she is able to handle things a little better. :) Headed over to the special needs forum for a few ideas in the mean time.