Dirtroad Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Of course. Breastfeeding exclusively on demand is what keeps your fertility from returning. Doesnt' this vary from woman to woman. I breastfeed with no supplements of formula, foods, cereals, water, etc with each baby ... but cycle resumes in 2 months after birth. Doctor said you can't rely on nursing as birth control b/c it all depends on the hormones etc.... and varies among women & even different births.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Not sure she does this b/c some have posted that she doesn't. But, on another point about nursing for 6 months.... that is all the pedicatricians recommend for maximum benefit. After 6 months, they say the benefits aren't that much & it is not harmful to stop. (I nursed through 15 mos... so not scolding) Just something that popped in my head when I read your post. Our pediatric group doesn't agree with this, but I've heard it before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Not sure she does this b/c some have posted that she doesn't. But, on another point about nursing for 6 months.... that is all the pedicatricians recommend for maximum benefit. After 6 months, they say the benefits aren't that much & it is not harmful to stop. (I nursed through 15 mos... so not scolding) Just something that popped in my head when I read your post. The AAP now recommends a full year, continuing as long after that as both want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Doesnt' this vary from woman to woman. I breastfeed with no supplements of formula, foods, cereals, water, etc with each baby ... but cycle resumes in 2 months after birth. Doctor said you can't rely on nursing as birth control b/c it all depends on the hormones etc.... and varies among women & even different births.:confused: Yes, it varies. If one is not exclusively breastfeeding on demand, but supplementing and/or scheduling then it won't work regardless, even if it would have otherwise. My posts balance themselves out if one reads/remembers more than one, but of course I cannot and should not expect that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 The AAP now recommends a full year, continuing as long after that as both want to. That's what the peds in our practice recommend. They are very supportive of BF(and bottle too, if that's your choice.) I was once in the office on a very busy day, and dd was fussy. I was going to take dd to the car to nurse, but her doctor insisted I stay in the exam room and take as long as I needed to nurse. I'm sure they needed to use that room, but I appreciated the offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 (edited) You can't do that at home. They have to be prepared for an emergency. From what I know, they would never allow a V-bac so soon. Yes. Um, I personally know at least 10 women who have had VBAC (and VBA2C) at home. But this isn't a birth site, so I'll shut up about it lol Sorry, that was very OT in any case. So getting back to the topic of whether families should be so large and how it is possible to care for the children appropriately. I find it very interesting to see how everyone seems to have a very decided opinion about it. Why is there a 26 page thread about a woman most of us have never met being pregnant? Why do so many people have such a fascination for the Duggars (and other 'mega-families') and respond with such emotion? We all (I would hope) consider our options carefully and do what we believe is the right thing to do under the circumstances we are in. So why do we get so wound up about what someone else decides to do? Given that nobody is making me have 19 children, why on earth should I care how many Mrs Duggar has? Not going to comment on anybody else, but for myself, I think I should wait until I'm a perfect mother before I start criticizing other mothers (yk, logs in eyes and all that). Just something to ponder... Edited September 5, 2009 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Um, I personally know at least 10 women who have had VBAC (and VBA2C) at home. But this isn't a birth site, so I'll shut up about it :lol They told me no.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 They told me no.:glare: Again, varies place to place. Most drs will tell you no. Midwives will tell you no depending upon WHY you had c-sections. There are midwives and circumstances where there is no problem. There are those women that are determined to deliver at home, no matter what. And there are legal considerations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Yes, it varies. If one is not exclusively breastfeeding on demand, but supplementing and/or scheduling then it won't work regardless, even if it would have otherwise. My posts balance themselves out if one reads/remembers more than one, but of course I cannot and should not expect that. Sorry Loved.. not being argumentative... I was just told by OB not to depend upon it. Wasn't sure I was completely understanding.... That said, my nursing coach didn't encourage breast feeding on demand b/c you have to have time to rest & replinish.... but she also didn't like rigid scheduling like our grandmothers may have done. I did hold to a routine... but son nor daughter never fussed between or demanded more. NOt sure where I would fit in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I wonder, though, if you are talking about the same degree of "help" that is obviously needed in the Dugger household where clearly olders have primary responsibility for youngers. I don't thinking the average person thinking about siblings helping out is including dressing, bathing, and teaching a "buddy" every. single. day.I have Dugger spacing with my bio 6 who were born within 7 years and they are all the Dugger's youngest children's ages. I don't think it's as all-consuming for the older children as many make it sound. Considering Jim Bob doesn't work out of the home, that is a huge help that most of us don't receive. I do think they can meet the needs of all of their children. My 4yos bathe and dress themselves. They brush their own teeth well and fold and put away their own clothes. They even change diapers, by choice! Even whining over who gets to change the baby! I'm sure the Dugger's have this raising children thing down better than we do. They have three under 4...that leaves 14 capable children in the home to help with their needs! Wow, what a burden.:001_rolleyes: Not to mention (I doubt it's all for the cameras) Jim Bob and Michelle usually have 1 or 2 of those 0-3yos in their arms. I highly doubt the rest are entirely raising those little ones. Only having to juggle the K-2nd graders' homeschool lessons is not too much of a burden for one mother. The olders' lessons are all computer-based. Again, with a second parent in the household to assist, this isn't overly-taxing. Their family life is the center of their days, all day, every day. I doubt a family with 2 public-schooled children in sports with homework get as much attention as each Dugger child does daily. Not to mention their siblings truly enjoy one another, not like the fighting and rivalry that permeates those precious leftover hours in an average family's day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I have read several interviews with families of 7, 9, even 12 children who say they actually run more smoothly than many smaller families. The children learn quickly to cooperate and have patience... can't say that for many/most of us regular families. I still work on mine about interupting, waiting, and being patient. I have also heard that it is good for the older ones to help with younger ones b/c it teaches compassion, responsibility, and empathy. Oh, and in a big group... there is always a playmate or buddy! Not everyone is busy at the same times! And... Mom isn't expected to be the playmate & buddy all day like so many of my poor friends are ot their children. I dont' see why it matters. Have 1 if it fits your life & your personality... have 21 if it fits your life and your personality. The Duggars aren't neglected or living off the charity of others. They are a well manage family with great things going on! WE all know smaller families who are also doing great work! Why are some so ugly, critical, or jealous about large families (or smaller ones in some cases posted here)? I don't hear of small families being treated bad as often b/c they are more the norm.... but I do know those who can't have more children often feel very badly when someone ask them why they only have 1 or 2. My friends with 4 & 5 kids are constantly finding themselves the butt of rude comments & even ugly looks of scorn. So sad that people hate children so much as to do this to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I have read several interviews with families of 7, 9, even 12 children who say they actually run more smoothly than many smaller families. The children learn quickly to cooperate and have patience... can't say that for many/most of us regular families. I still work on mine about interupting, waiting, and being patient. I have also heard that it is good for the older ones to help with younger ones b/c it teaches compassion, responsibility, and empathy. Oh, and in a big group... there is always a playmate or buddy! Not everyone is busy at the same times! And... Mom isn't expected to be the playmate & buddy all day like so many of my poor friends are ot their children. I dont' see why it matters. Have 1 if it fits your life & your personality... have 21 if it fits your life and your personality. The Duggars aren't neglected or living off the charity of others. They are a well manage family with great things going on! WE all know smaller families who are also doing great work! Why are some so ugly, critical, or jealous about large families (or smaller ones in some cases posted here)? I don't hear of small families being treated bad as often b/c they are more the norm.... but I do know those who can't have more children often feel very badly when someone ask them why they only have 1 or 2. My friends with 4 & 5 kids are constantly finding themselves the butt of rude comments & even ugly looks of scorn. So sad that people hate children so much as to do this to them. :iagree: I agree! I think each couple should decide for themselves how many children they feel they want, can provide for (in all areas), etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Again, varies place to place. Most drs will tell you no. Midwives will tell you no depending upon WHY you had c-sections. There are midwives and circumstances where there is no problem. There are those women that are determined to deliver at home, no matter what. And there are legal considerations. yup, depends on the year too it seems. When I had my first VBAC it was less than 11 months after my section. However that was the year OB's were really pushing VBACs as opposed to repeat sections. In addition I was in early labor for 3 days leading up to the delivery. Any other dr or any other time and they would have forced another section on me rather than wait out a VBAC under those circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmschooling Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I wish I knew if they were genuinely happy. I mean, I hate to say this, to think it really, but it's almost like it's becoming for show. Or else they're no longer sure of their identity if she's not expecting. I am not one for telling people when they should or shouldn't have children - or even *if* they should or shouldn't have kids. And that's not what I'm doing here either...BUT, something is just feeling a bit "off" at this point. Like it's a contest. They shouldn't have to worry - they won! They really are happy. I know them...I lived minutes from them before we moved recently. My kids have played with their kids at public events and they are your typical kids! Chunking shoes off and running off to play and have fun. She is kind and gentle and was a big help to me offering advice as we were dealing with the same hospital for VBAC (Vag Birth After C-sect) where it was banned to do so. My father-in-law has been to their house and it's your typical house full of kids, only huge and has an indoor playland. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 My friends with 4 & 5 kids are constantly finding themselves the butt of rude comments & even ugly looks of scorn. So sad that people hate children so much as to do this to them. Having been on the receiving end of rude comments about my "overly large" family (4 kids, including one set of twins... I know, it's staggering!), I don't really get the impression people hate children so much as they are profoundly uncomfortable with the idea that people make choices different from their own. Maybe it's because, if they accept that someone else can see the same information and come to a different conclusion, it makes the observer's conclusion "wrong"? I don't know, but I suspect there is some significant cognitive dissonance driving their very strong conviction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 (edited) Having been on the receiving end of rude comments about my "overly large" family (4 kids, including one set of twins... I know, it's staggering!), I don't really get the impression people hate children so much as they are profoundly uncomfortable with the idea that people make choices different from their own. Maybe it's because, if they accept that someone else can see the same information and come to a different conclusion, it makes the observer's conclusion "wrong"? I don't know, but I suspect there is some significant cognitive dissonance driving their very strong conviction. Last summer, I was taking advantage of having less to do. I had a treadmill which I loved, so I walked on it for around two hours a day -- the length of a movie. We don't have television, and I rarely watched a movie at night. One lady asked what I had been doing that summer. I replied: planning school, organizing my house, planning meals for the school year, and walking for two hours a day. She replied, "You need to have more children." She then went on to tell me how she had not accomplished what she had hoped to during the summer, etc. I know she was in jest, but I cannot help but think she was making an unnecessary comparison between us, but we each had decided what sort of family we wanted. Edited September 5, 2009 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I replied: planning school, organizing my house, planning meals for the school year, and walking for two hours a day. I think that sounds lovely & I'm glad that you were able to have that time for you. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. You enjoyed yourself but you weren't eating bon-bons. Taking care of your family is work no matter how many kids you have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kmacnchs Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Doesnt' this vary from woman to woman. I breastfeed with no supplements of formula, foods, cereals, water, etc with each baby ... but cycle resumes in 2 months after birth. Doctor said you can't rely on nursing as birth control b/c it all depends on the hormones etc.... and varies among women & even different births.:confused: Definately varies! #2 - I "became a woman" again @ 3mo...this baby just turned 5 mo and I still haven't "become a woman" again (and loving it). I am like you...no AP here but no "strict scheduling" either. I keep them on a pretty good schedule. If I didn't, I don't think my son would eat as much as I think he needs to at this age so I wake him up to feed him 5x/day (I hate doing it but I want him to get enough!) I digress...:iagree:on the depends on the person and child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 I have read several interviews with families of 7, 9, even 12 children who say they actually run more smoothly than many smaller families. The children learn quickly to cooperate and have patience... can't say that for many/most of us regular families. I still work on mine about interupting, waiting, and being patient. I have also heard that it is good for the older ones to help with younger ones b/c it teaches compassion, responsibility, and empathy. Oh, and in a big group... there is always a playmate or buddy! Not everyone is busy at the same times! And... Mom isn't expected to be the playmate & buddy all day like so many of my poor friends are ot their children. I dont' see why it matters. Have 1 if it fits your life & your personality... have 21 if it fits your life and your personality. The Duggars aren't neglected or living off the charity of others. They are a well manage family with great things going on! WE all know smaller families who are also doing great work! Why are some so ugly, critical, or jealous about large families (or smaller ones in some cases posted here)? I don't hear of small families being treated bad as often b/c they are more the norm.... but I do know those who can't have more children often feel very badly when someone ask them why they only have 1 or 2. My friends with 4 & 5 kids are constantly finding themselves the butt of rude comments & even ugly looks of scorn. So sad that people hate children so much as to do this to them. Totally agree. None of us have to pay for, raise, or in any way 'help' the Duggars raise their children. They were debt free BEFORE the show. Personally, I find ppl calling them having so many children 'ridiculous' and 'call the Orkin Man' incredibly offensive. Leaving their family size up to God is a part of their FAITH. I don't see where its ANYONE'S business to weigh in and criticize another's faith. Its all speculation, based on what posters think they might do if they were in Michelle's position. "God doesn't call the equipped...He equips the called." Whose to say that God hasn't given her exactly what she needs to be the mother of a large family? I just find the mocking and insults of the Quiverful belief to be offensive. I can't imagine mocking someone else's faith, simply because I personally don't agree with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Totally agree. None of us have to pay for, raise, or in any way 'help' the Duggars raise their children. They were debt free BEFORE the show. Personally, I find ppl calling them having so many children 'ridiculous' and 'call the Orkin Man' incredibly offensive. Leaving their family size up to God is a part of their FAITH. I don't see where its ANYONE'S business to weigh in and criticize another's faith. Its all speculation, based on what posters think they might do if they were in Michelle's position. "God doesn't call the equipped...He equips the called." Whose to say that God hasn't given her exactly what she needs to be the mother of a large family? I just find the mocking and insults of the Quiverful belief to be offensive. I can't imagine mocking someone else's faith, simply because I personally don't agree with it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 (edited) I don't have a problem with large families. I believe parents know what they can handle. Only the Duggars know if they can handle 19. However, I do not think that real families should be the topic of TV shows like that. I've never seen the Duggars or Jon and Kate Plus 8, but I think if you can't support your children without having a TV show about your family then you have enough kids already. I just don't think that's healthy for kids no matter how happy they may appear. Edit: Someone commented that they were never in debt. Good for them! However, I still don't think it is right to have your kids' lives all over TV. Just not healthy in my view. Edited September 5, 2009 by theresatwist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inactive Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 So getting back to the topic of whether families should be so large and how it is possible to care for the children appropriately. I find it very interesting to see how everyone seems to have a very decided opinion about it. Why is there a 26 page thread about a woman most of us have never met being pregnant? Why do so many people have such a fascination for the Duggars (and other 'mega-families') and respond with such emotion? We all (I would hope) consider our options carefully and do what we believe is the right thing to do under the circumstances we are in. So why do we get so wound up about what someone else decides to do? Given that nobody is making me have 19 children, why on earth should I care how many Mrs Duggar has? Not going to comment on anybody else, but for myself, I think I should wait until I'm a perfect mother before I start criticizing other mothers (yk, logs in eyes and all that). Just something to ponder... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inactive Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 However, I do not think that real families should be the topic of TV shows like that. I've never seen the Duggars or Jon and Kate Plus 8, but I think if you can't support your children without having a TV show about your family then you have enough kids already. I just don't think that's healthy for kids no matter how happy they may appear. Edit: Someone commented that they were never in debt. Good for them! However, I still don't think it is right to have your kids' lives all over TV. Just not healthy in my view. They weren't in debt BEFORE the TV show -- they don't NEED the TV show to support their family... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 They weren't in debt BEFORE the TV show -- they don't NEED the TV show to support their family... That's great. But why are they doing it? I just can't see how that can be good for children. Obviously that's just my own personal opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 That's great. But why are they doing it? I just can't see how that can be good for children. Obviously that's just my own personal opinion. They are doing it because people were interested in their lives. I am sure they believe they can do a lot of good with the money. They aren't exactly typical reality TV people looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Also, the cameras aren't there 24/7, there is actually a schedule and they are gone more often than they are there. Honestly, I don't understand so many people are getting uppity about them. If you don't watch the show then why comment on them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 That's great. But why are they doing it? I just can't see how that can be good for children. Obviously that's just my own personal opinion. lotsa "educational experts" in the NEA say the exact same thing about homeschooling. It's B-81 this year.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 My mom knew someone who had 20 kids. This was a while ago. There is a homeschooling family near us who has 16. Anyway, more power to 'em! It isn't the issue of having lots of kids that gets me. It is displaying one's family on tv that bothers me. They do it with great grace, but still I would never, ever put my kids on display like that. I just think it is some kind familial violation there. Maybe I'm just a private person. . . .but it makes me uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 They are doing it because people were interested in their lives. I am sure they believe they can do a lot of good with the money. They aren't exactly typical reality TV people looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Also, the cameras aren't there 24/7, there is actually a schedule and they are gone more often than they are there. Honestly, I don't understand so many people are getting uppity about them. If you don't watch the show then why comment on them? I think they are opening themselves to being commented on even by people who don't watch them by virtue of having a show, being in the news media, etc. As I see it, they made that choice. I think receiving that kind of scrutiny and criticism must be difficult and unpleasant at times that's one reason why I'm mystified about why people would put themselves and their families through that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 My mom knew someone who had 20 kids. This was a while ago. There is a homeschooling family near us who has 16. Anyway, more power to 'em! It isn't the issue of having lots of kids that gets me. It is displaying one's family on tv that bothers me. They do it with great grace, but still I would never, ever put my kids on display like that. I just think it is some kind familial violation there. Maybe I'm just a private person. . . .but it makes me uncomfortable. :iagree:Exactly what I was trying to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theresatwist Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 lotsa "educational experts" in the NEA say the exact same thing about homeschooling. It's B-81 this year.:glare: And I disagree with them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 But why are they doing it? I just can't see how that can be good for children. Obviously that's just my own personal opinion.I think they are doing it for religious reasons, the same reason he was in politics. I remember something about them feeling called by God to spread his word and affect the world in a Godly way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I think they are opening themselves to being commented on even by people who don't watch them by virtue of having a show, being in the news media, etc. As I see it, they made that choice. I think receiving that kind of scrutiny and criticism must be difficult and unpleasant at times that's one reason why I'm mystified about why people would put themselves and their families through that. I don't believe that they personally spend too much time thinking about what other people think about them. They have said before that if the show adversely affects their lives or they feel God says the show should end that they would. Call me crazy, but I believe them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 (edited) They have said before that if the show adversely affects their lives In one of the last shows, Jim Bob said making TV takes them less time than most people watch TV. I can completely believe that! ...Now if we could only figure out how to make $50,000 an episode watching TV! Edited September 6, 2009 by MyCalling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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