TravelingChris Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 We are long time homeschoolers since I have been homeschooling since 1994. Anyway, I used to hear lots about courtship in the homeschooling community. I haven't seen or heard anything about it in recent years. We were never into that because it simply wasn't practical for our lives. We are military and move around too much and our children don't usually go to college where we live. ANyway, I am curious. Has this movement faded or is it just not gettting much attention in the circles I move in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I didn't learn that courting was a current idea until I became a member of this board about 6 or 7 years ago. This board and the Sonlight boards are the only 2 places I've ever seen it mentioned. I knew about the idea from books and movies, just not that anyone in our country practiced it. Then again, I didn't know homeschooling was legal or even an option until 2001 when my son was 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I see it a lot in our church so I think it is still alive and well. I'd really like to have my children do that when they are of marrying age. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 It's been around for a while (duh!) but I think it was highlighted in the media more when Joshua Harris' book came out (I Kissed Dating Goodbye). Perhaps, since that book is rather old now, the attention has died down while the practice stays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I hear of it quite a bit in our community. I've discussed it a bit with other homeschooling families. The thing I've taken away from those discussions is that there are degrees of courtship. Some families seem very, for lack of a better term, "legalistic" about it, while other families embrace the idea of courtship, and sort of define their own boundaries. It's been interesting. And with an "almost 15" year old dd, I need to think about this a lot more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I gained the impression that this is confined to the community of "non-denominational" churches. Never have met anybody in other faith groups who considered this for her family. Never could determine precisely what my true feelings about this are ! Right now, I'm just giving thanks and glory to God that our eldest, the only one to show any interest in such matters yet, is all-but-engaged to the first young woman whom he ever showed any interest in. So he was spared the dating "racket" with all its temptations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I don't think it's as popular as it was for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 What I am seeing is not so much an embracing of "courtship", but a rejection of "casual dating". What people label their philosophy varies depending on their experience and where they live. I hear the term courtship used more in the south, but I still see many families in the north practicing some of the principles without using the label. ~ Leanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryalice Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I don't really know about everyone else's "courtship" experiences, but here is ours. My dd met a young man at college her freshman year. They had many mutual friends. By fall of sophomore year, they decided that they wanted to spend more time together. He asked my dh and I if he could "court" our daughter. To them, it just meant that they would be spending time together and not with a group at college. He told us that his intentions were to see if their relationship would lead to marriage, that it was not a casual dating. He then asked us in spring of their junior year if he could have our blessings on their engagement. So, they got engaged last spring and we are now planning a wedding for the week after their graduation before grad school. They have both spent lots of time with each other's family. If we had had concerns about our dau fiance, we would have talked to her. But they are young, in love, very compatible, very mature, very smart and they will figure out life together. I will be thrilled to have another son. I think that my dd's "courtship" differed from dating in that they were more serious. It was not about having just a fun time with someone else, it was more about growing their long term relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 There have been many threads about this issue on these boards over the years. It's the only place I ever really heard about it but I dont mix in very conservative circles. I've been wondering how I would handle these years around dating- I havent had strong ideas about it other than wanting to protect my dd from getting unecessarily hurt. I myself had a rather wild time in my teens and early twenties- I wondered if I would swing to the other extreme. My dd15 now has a fairly serious boyfriend, and they are in daily contact through computer and texting, although they only see each other once, sometimes twice, a week. I had a dream about the two of them even before dd realised she was attracted to him- a strong dream. He is very gentlemanly and treats her with a lot of respect and seems to be really in love with her- and she, him. I am just lettng it all unfold naturally, as is dh. I actually feel proud she has fallen for a decent young man who treats her well (better than me at that age!). She is particularly mature for her age, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 What I am seeing is not so much an embracing of "courtship", but a rejection of "casual dating". What people label their philosophy varies depending on their experience and where they live. I hear the term courtship used more in the south, but I still see many families in the north practicing some of the principles without using the label. ~ Leanna This is what I see too. We are military, and I rarely hear the term used. But as I watched all the girls in the neighborhood show up at our door in tight tank tops the day we moved in, and I see them aimlessly wandering the neighborhood arm in arm with various boys, I've become more attached to the concept. :D We won't ever be the Duggars when it comes to courtship, but my dh and I have found ourselves discussing the concept more and more now that our oldest, handsome, and quite wonderful (the mom says:lol:) son is 13. Thankfully, he isn't silly about girls. And I hope he stays as level headed as his hormones increase their unlevelness (it should be a word). Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Our oldest is "courting" a girl, but it's pretty laid back because they are both in college and living on their own. He got permission from her dad to spend serious time with her, and met her parents this summer. She's coming to meet us this fall. Our rule is no casual dating, no premarital sex, no expressed interest in someone until you are old enough to marry, and absolutely no "I love yous" unless the next sentence is "Will you marry me?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.