PrairieAir Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Don't count them out automatically. I was at a local women's conference held at a hotel. We had a huge ballroom full of all different kinds of Christian ladies. In the next ballroom was a "gentlemen's" party complete with cigars and stripper.The stripper was sharing a bathroom with all of us fine Christian ladies. Most of us weren't quite sure what to say. Who do you suppose was the one who chatted with her, got her story (single mom taking care of her kid), prayed with and for her and swapped phone numbers? The older Mennonite lady, complete with long skirt and hair covering. I try to keep that vision in my mind - it chastened me to look past outsides - on either range of the spectrum. Aw, what a great story! The few Mennonites that I have known are not judgmental of other Christians because of what they wear, etc. They have their convictions, but they don't necessarily believe everyone else should have the same convictions. What a tremendous example that woman set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I had the misfortune to judge a clothing construction competition once. One of the girls from this family was in the group I was judging. She did not win. She placed, but she did not win. A few weeks later I came across the mom as we were both dropping off kids at the local college for music lessons. She questioned me about it in the parking lot. She was not confrontational, but still, it was extremely uncomfortable to have to answer questions about what was in my head and the heads of the other judges. After that I refused to ever judge any 4H event again. Kelli, the more details you give about this family, the more I'm convinced I know them or their Kansas twins. This sounds exactly like some incidents we had in another 4-H project they were involved in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I do notice other homeschoolers, but not so much the conservative type in the denim jumpers. Maybe we just don't have quiverfulls here. I see babies cloth-diapers and in slings, little kids in the opposite gender's clothing or with odd colors of hair, women who smell of patchouli and have no makeup on, teenagers happy to make intelligent conversation with adults -- these things make me stand up and go, "homeschooler?" More often than not, I'm right. The first time I saw my dearest local homeschooling friend (a loose WTM-er), she was bouncing a baby in a sling while assaulting the children's section of a used book sale the same way a lion might dissect a gazelle. I knew right away she was a homeschooler. I so deperately wish I had more of your kind of homeschoolers around here. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 The stripper was sharing a bathroom with all of us fine Christian ladies. Most of us weren't quite sure what to say. Who do you suppose was the one who chatted with her, got her story (single mom taking care of her kid), prayed with and for her and swapped phone numbers? The older Mennonite lady, complete with long skirt and hair covering. I try to keep that vision in my mind - it chastened me to look past outsides - on either range of the spectrum. I live in a very Mennonite part of the country. Having known many Mennonites, this does not surprise me. Not in the least. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."Michelle T It's not always true, though. My brother has 6 dds that they homeschool, long hair, no make-up (but no denim jumpers, either.) They are not Christian, but they often get taken for such. Look and see if they are wearing crosses. You might be surprised! In general though- you are probably right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either. I didn't know that. I usually talk to people I think are homeschoolers anyway, regardless of what religion I think they might be. (Some of my best friends are Christians. Hehehe- it's true, but saying that sounds so shallow.) But it was at times very overwhelming for me as a non-Christian classical homeschooler, because in my area the two main groups are "Christian A-Beka" and "hippie unschoolers." I fit in better with the Christian group when it came to child rearing and educational philosophy, but I never felt I could let my hair down because of a few families I thought would ostrasize me if they knew I was an atheist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either. I know Mormons who have this attitude, but I have never heard about it an another context. Does it exist among non-Mormon Christians as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Yes, because they want to concentrate on the resurection. These Christians also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birth. They aren't mormon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieAir Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I know Mormons who have this attitude, but I have never heard about it an another context. Does it exist among non-Mormon Christians as well? We don't wear crosses for the reason Elaine stated--because we want to focus on Christ's resurrection. It's also because dh and I find it a little odd to wear an instrument of death--and an inaccurate depiction at that. I've heard other people express the same sentiment. Would you wear an electric chair or put it on the top of your church?:rolleyes: We don't look down on people who do wear crosses. We understand the thinking behind it. It's just that we don't think that way about it and so it would be inappropriate for us to wear them. We also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birthday, although we do celebrate Christmas as time for family, fun, and traditions. I should probably say here that "we" is our family. We don't belong to a specific denomination. We do have quite a few friends who feel this way. It's not part of our religious beliefs our anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 We don't wear crosses for the reason Elaine stated--because we want to focus on Christ's resurrection. It's also because dh and I find it a little odd to wear an instrument of death--and an inaccurate depiction at that. I've heard other people express the same sentiment. Would you wear an electric chair or put it on the top of your church?:rolleyes: We don't look down on people who do wear crosses. We understand the thinking behind it. It's just that we don't think that way about it and so it would be inappropriate for us to wear them. We also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birthday, although we do celebrate Christmas as time for family, fun, and traditions. I should probably say here that "we" is our family. We don't belong to a specific denomination. We do have quite a few friends who feel this way. It's not part of our religious beliefs our anything. I wouldn't wear a cross when I was a Christian. Just a personal thing, not denominational. Dh's family got us a hand-carved crucifix one year. We thanked them profusely, of course, then later looked at each other, both thinking, "Ok, what are we going to do with this??!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I love the diversity in homeschoolers. I love that I can have friends from so many walks of life and different beliefs. I have a friend that sounds a lot like you and she's felt some backlash. Its a shame because she's so incredible. People who prejudge miss out on so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Yes, I think that was their reasoning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I actually am a public school teacher. However, we have four kids and buy a lot of books. I get asked about once a month if I am a homeschooler. People seem shocked. I get the line, "But your kids have such great vocabularies." But, we have such a nice homeschooling community around here. I have a number of friends who homeschool, and we afterschool with them. And I help some homeschool friends with math and science. So I guess maybe I fit in... (I don't have long hair and I wear jeans most of the time.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Very few homeschoolers in my area have long hair and wear dresses only. We look like everyone else. We love ps teachers here, too. Many of my friends' spouses are teachers and a couple are principals. I'm glad people think good thoughts about homeschoolers. I only ever hear opinions on hsing from a cashier or hair dresser and its always negative. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothicGyrl Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 But if I did see such a family, I would definitely think, "Oh, they must be homeschoolers". I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."Michelle T I have to chime in here backing Michelle up. But more often than not, I'm thinking "they don't want to talk to me because I don't look/act/dress like them". Quoting momof7: I've lived where the groups required you to be "like-minded." I interpret that to mean "unable to deal with people who don't conform to our specific group-think ideas, don't rock our perfect little image of a narrow world existance." This is the exact reason I get a lot of this type of conversation: Me: You must be a homeschooler (smiling, happy, etc) Them: Yes (whispers, let's go kids) As they quickly scury off and it has nothing to do with time or they need to be somewhere else. This has everything to do with Michelle's feelings as she stated them--I am NOT like them and it shows. It's also the reason why I no longer participate in our homeschool group, it's why my only form of socialization with other homeschoolers is on message boards. I've also been told as much to my face. So stereotypes for homeschoolers? How about those that feel this is "disgusting" start speaking out when you hear it? Stand up to them and tell them they are doing nothing to help your cause and are in fact, driving people further away from it? I'm just bummed.. nevermind me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Oh, I've felt judged, too. I'm not enough of something or other and I've felt it from both sides. You just gotta let it roll down your back. Honestly, its their loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 I don't see a lot of the very stereotypical homeschoolers, but I do find myself thinking "I'll bet they're homeschoolers!" when I see a group of kids (oftentimes rambunctious) talking a million miles a minute. If they ask more than fifteen questions in three breathes I know that they are. ;) You must know my dc! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 And where would I fit? I drive a 12 passenger van. I have 6dc (so far.) I have long hair (as do my daughters) but mine is usually in a bun. I am a conservative Christian. BUT.... All but one of my boys have long hair, too. I am Catholic. I am (I guess) a Crunchy Con, but I gave up raising my own last year - I don't have the time! My house is a mess. I am a pretty regimented schooler until I get sidetracked, and then I fit right in with the unschoolers. ;-) I don't control the opinions or preferences of my dc much, but I have high expectations for behavior towards others! I really don't fit anywhere - too Christian for the "inclusive" group and not Christian enough (or not Christian at all to some) for the Christian group! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 It's funny... I'm exactly the typical homeschooler you described (except we don't do stickers on vehicles- ICK! and I only have 2 boys who wear blue jeans and tee shirts). Oh, and dh hates jumpers, so I NEVER wear them. I'd be thrilled to talk to any of you and have you over for playdates, etc. I promise, I wouldn't try to convert anyone. ;) Ironically, I can't fit into the local homeschool groups (except the small one at our church) because I'm not their brand of Christian. (picture more the jeans and polo shirts moms, soccer mom type Christians) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 At hsing conventions, one sees all types of home schoolers; they are all out there, but I also believe that like know like. I've picked them out plenty of times and enjoyed all conversations with them, no matterhow different we are. In my own little town, our hs group has all sorts and we all get along well. I saw a family once at the same dentist I go to. We were waiting in the waiting room together and all the girls had long dresses and they boys were sort of old fashioned looking, too. They had a thrift store look about them, but it was more like they didn't know how to put it together that made them look like Little House wantobees. There we were in shorts and jeans and t shirts. The girls made fast friends with mine and I talked with them for a minute about their school, but it must of scared the mom because she saw me talking to her kids she quickly shued hers away across the room. She knew we hsed because of the conversation, but I sure felt like I had cooties. She must've been afraid I'd be a bad influence on her 1960 looking children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Replying to Pam's story: Pam, it's her loss! :) Really! Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 Replying to Pam's story: Pam, it's her loss! :) Really! Val Ohmigosh, Valerie, you are so sweet. Thank you. I wish like crazy you lived in my town, or I in yours. BTW, I showed dd the pic of F, and she raised an eyebrow, then looked at me funny and blushed. LOL! (It's so much fun to have a 15 y/o in the house.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 I don't wear a cross for the same reasons basically as PairieAir. As for Christmas, I think most scholars agree that Jesus wasn't born them. While many celebrate it as his birthday anyway, we don't. But I have a friend who mostly thinks like me about the Bible and who wears one to remind him of the price paid. I remember that when I think of the resurrection of Christ as you can't have the latter without the former as I understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnowWhite Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 It's funny... I'm exactly the typical homeschooler you described (except we don't do stickers on vehicles- ICK! and I only have 2 boys who wear blue jeans and tee shirts). Oh, and dh hates jumpers, so I NEVER wear them. I'd be thrilled to talk to any of you and have you over for playdates, etc. I promise, I wouldn't try to convert anyone. ;) Ironically, I can't fit into the local homeschool groups (except the small one at our church) because I'm not their brand of Christian. (picture more the jeans and polo shirts moms, soccer mom type Christians) OK, and that got me a negative rep with ??? as the comment. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasha Posted March 9, 2008 Share Posted March 9, 2008 But it was at times very overwhelming for me as a non-Christian classical homeschooler, because in my area the two main groups are "Christian A-Beka" and "hippie unschoolers." Oh, I often feel this way too. Politically and otherwise I'm the hippie type except that we're classical homeschoolers. It's hard to fit in to any group. Actually, I'm really surprised reading this thread at how many of us feel outside the group, even amongst other homeschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clane Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 she was bouncing a baby in a sling while assaulting the children's section of a used book sale the same way a lion might dissect a gazelle. I knew right away she was a homeschooler. Hey--I represent this remark! I have the book sale website bookmarked and check it weekly :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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