Do any of you choose NOT to accelerate your gifted child?

[SoCal Sandra]

If so why?

 

I'm wondering which is the best use of the elementary years. If a child breezes through all his academics, is it better to accelerate for greater challenge and to develop his gifts now, or is it better to let him sample more things with the time he has saved by grasping things so easily?

 

Dss are 9 and have many, many interests.They have a passion for a broad array of things and so far I'm letting them sample many things. I know that some children find their "thing" at a young age and become very expert at it. I recall that the WTM mentions high school as the age to narrow and specialize, but it seems that many families I know have their children specialized by the time they reach Junior High.

 

Perhaps I'm a hopeless generalist. I still remember the torture of having to decide between an upper level math class and becoming editor of the high school newspaper, so I know academic and professional choices have to be made. But it seems that children have to make those decisions so much earlier now. Is there something new in the structure of educational options that compels specialization at a much earlier age? If there is, then for those who don't accelerate, have your children missed any opportunities as a result?

 

TIA!

 

 

 

 

SoCal Sandra View Public Profile Send a private message to SoCal Sandra Find all posts by SoCal Sandra

[asta]

DS was jumped a grade on accident. We moved from one country to another at Christmas, and the receiving school didn't understand me. They never questioned it because he could do the work.

 

Fast forward to moving again, and it still wasn't a problem, even though it was language #3.

 

And then he had the {humiliating, awful, harmful, fill in the blank} experience in a public school for one year. He was made to feel badly for being intelligent and "ahead" (no one noticed on the physical side because he is quite tall).

 

By the time I got him home (still another move), I not only had to contend with the "wasted" year at PS, but also w/ repairing his self esteem. In the beginning, I would give him something, and if it was easy, I'd move up the difficulty level. I kept doing that until one day I realized he just didn't look happy. Sure, he was a 5th grader quite capably doing 10th grade work, but it dawned on me that that wasn't the point of education.

 

The point, IMO, was that he have a joy of learning, a wonder about the world around him. And, most importantly, a sense of self that would allow him to hold his own around all the kids who, although in his "grade", were a year and a half older than he.

 

So we slowed down.

 

We planted a huge garden. We made a small pond that eventually drew in a frog. We drew pictures. We wandered. We did math (duh). He "finished grade school" at the "correct age" to go to "normal" high school, a happy, healthy kid.

 

And then he decided he didn't want to go to high school. :lol:

 

We've managed to make it through (most) of 9th grade; we have a couple of geometry lessons left. He's at camp. I don't regret "slowing down" for a minute. Some kids, no matter how bright, just aren't designed to go higher and higher at a young age, IMO; they get much of their learning from being allowed to slow down and think, instead.

 

HTH

 

 

a

[JenneinCA]

Right now I am choosing to do academics for an age appropriate amount of time at their level.

 

So my daughter is doing decidedly not sixth grade curriculum in the fall, but will only spend sixth grader amounts of time on it. And my older son will be spending fourth grader time on his work at whatever level that it. And my kindergartener will be doing the same.

 

It is the best I can do to provide adequate input while keeping the output appropriate.

 

And all the kids are declared as age/grade for official purposes. In CA the cut off is in December so my older kids actually make the deadlines here. I am not trying to shorten their time as kids. I am trying to make that time as interesting and appropriate as I can.

[KAR120C]

If so why?

 

I'm wondering which is the best use of the elementary years. If a child breezes through all his academics, is it better to accelerate for greater challenge and to develop his gifts now, or is it better to let him sample more things with the time he has saved by grasping things so easily?

 

Dss are 9 and have many, many interests.They have a passion for a broad array of things and so far I'm letting them sample many things. I know that some children find their "thing" at a young age and become very expert at it. I recall that the WTM mentions high school as the age to narrow and specialize, but it seems that many families I know have their children specialized by the time they reach Junior High.

 

Perhaps I'm a hopeless generalist. I still remember the torture of having to decide between an upper level math class and becoming editor of the high school newspaper, so I know academic and professional choices have to be made. But it seems that children have to make those decisions so much earlier now. Is there something new in the structure of educational options that compels specialization at a much earlier age? If there is, then for those who don't accelerate, have your children missed any opportunities as a result?

 

TIA!

This doesn't exactly answer your question since we do accelerate, but just to offer a slightly different take on it.... I don't think accelerating has to include early specialization... and if it did, I think we'd be more likely to keep DS at his age level. I've been careful not to overfocus on his strengths. We do let him run with those, but we also work on the things that don't come as easily to him, with an eye toward "keeping your options open". He thinks he wants to be an engineer, and I wouldn't be surprised if he did end up going that way, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't have to write, learn other languages, know a fair bit of history and read widely. If he were a history nut he'd probably do more with that, but he'd still need math and science. Kwim? And if I really wanted him to go as fast as possible through one topic and letting the other slide, he could be much further ahead than he is now. But I don't think that would be a good idea in our case.

 

As much as he might really grow up to be an engineer, I could just as easily see him in another field... finance comes to mind... (math-heavy, but not as sciency, and requiring more of the social science end of things), and he's still too young to close that door.

 

So rather than "acceleration" as a organizing principle for our homeschool, I think more in terms of the "low simmer" -- wherever he is in each of the subjects I require, he needs to do just a little more than is easy. It may be different levels for different subjects (and sometimes different aspects of different subjects!), but we're not letting anything completely slide. He is challenged in different directions, gets to experience lots of different things, and still moves ahead in his areas of particular strength.

[Mommy22alyns]

Right now I am choosing to do academics for an age appropriate amount of time at their level.

 

 

 

That's pretty much what I do. Becca was a kindergartener in body and spirit but not in academics. I had to balance between giving her a challenge and allowing for her to BE five and six years old. Same with Sylvia. She is still 4, no matter how well she's reading. Her body is 4 and doesn't want to sit still for anything formal and that is fine.

 

But if I forced the girls to work only at their age grade level, they would have fits. Becca would flat out be insulted. It's like trying to stop a speeding train with my bare hands - can't be done.

 

I guess I do both things you mention - Becca is allowed time to do her own thing, but she's also accelerated in academics. Sometimes she gets an idea in her head and wants to spend time making a Tink costume or butterfly antennae and I let her have a longer play break. But when we come back to school, she's still working at a higher grade level than she would be if she were in school.

 

And I have Becca registered according to her age grade too (at our umbrella school).

[kmacnchs]

That's pretty much what I do. Becca was a kindergartener in body and spirit but not in academics. I had to balance between giving her a challenge and allowing for her to BE five and six years old. Same with Sylvia. She is still 4, no matter how well she's reading. Her body is 4 and doesn't want to sit still for anything formal and that is fine.

 

I never thought about that but it makes COMPLETE sense! So, my question is, how do I know how much time is appropriate? I spend about 1 hr 15 min with my 3 year old (may) on math, reading, and writing and then more time with her sister with Bible and when I read to them (don't have to sit still and concentrate as much). Does that sound like too much? I assume it is different for each child but I don't want to push (time-wise) until she is not enjoying school (especially at such a young age).

[Mommy22alyns]

I never thought about that but it makes COMPLETE sense! So, my question is, how do I know how much time is appropriate? I spend about 1 hr 15 min with my 3 year old (may) on math, reading, and writing and then more time with her sister with Bible and when I read to them (don't have to sit still and concentrate as much). Does that sound like too much? I assume it is different for each child but I don't want to push (time-wise) until she is not enjoying school (especially at such a young age).

 

 

From my experience, they'll let you know when they're done. Just watch them closely, listen to their cues. Mine tend to get wiggly and restless and stop paying attention. Sometimes I just have to close the book and dismiss class!

[Truscifi]

From my experience, they'll let you know when they're done. Just watch them closely, listen to their cues. Mine tend to get wiggly and restless and stop paying attention. Sometimes I just have to close the book and dismiss class!

 

How do you present it to them when you do that? My ds5 is the same way, and I can always tell when he needs a break, but when I say 'ok, we need a break' he gets upset, like it's a punishment! I've tried saying, you, we, I, I've tried saying break, play time, change of pace, I've tried presenting it every way I can think of! If it doesn't fall into the 'official' break times we started with at the beginning of the school year he gets upset. The only thing that has come close to working is saying I have to potty! :glare:

[Reya]

If a child breezes through all his academics, is it better to accelerate for greater challenge and to develop his gifts now, or is it better to let him sample more things with the time he has saved by grasping things so easily?

 

I am powerfully against a child not having the opportunity to be challenged and to fail safely, to learn how to think and to learn how to grow.

 

A lack of challenge leads to a fear of difficulty, an inability to have persistence, laziness, fear of the unknown, underachievement, a fear of being "stupid," etc. It also causes arrogance, boredom, disengagement, frustration, etc. I have never seen easy course of study have good results.

 

This doesn't mean that school has to take a long time every day! It shouldn't. :-) But it does mean that there should be some challenge every day.

[Reya]

How do you present it to them when you do that? My ds5 is the same way, and I can always tell when he needs a break, but when I say 'ok, we need a break' he gets upset, like it's a punishment! I've tried saying, you, we, I, I've tried saying break, play time, change of pace, I've tried presenting it every way I can think of! If it doesn't fall into the 'official' break times we started with at the beginning of the school year he gets upset. The only thing that has come close to working is saying I have to potty! :glare:

 

Some kids, though, just wiggle. :-) The day mine started listening to books right side up, I was like, "Whoa. Who's that kid?"

[Nan in Mass]

Remember that mine are just brightish, not the brilliant shining supernovas that some of the children here are, though. My youngest has a long history of this, now GRIN. He was very small and light and had a summer birthday, so we waited a year to send him to kindergarten and he taught himself to read that year. He went to public kindergarten reading simple books, and was reading quite well when he finished so we decided to homeschool him for first grade. Since he was already reading, I got him lots of books to read and he got better at it (as well as learning all kinds of other things). By now he was 7 and it seemed like a good idea to have him spend the morning doing school, but I had to work a bit to fill it up because his regular academics didn't take long. I filled in with chess, French, puzzles, lots of library books, natural history, Draw Squad, recorder, singing, and letting him make up his own history projects and science experiments. As he approached high school and we looked at what his older brothers are doing for college, we realized that learning lots of things in high school is a better approach for our family. We aren't a super academic family and there are lots of practical things like traveling and sailing that we want our children to learn, so not all our learning is done traditionally. Nontraditional learning is time consuming LOL. His two older brothers are going to college to major in something that is more vocational-oriented so they are going to miss out on lots of the liberal arts. The youngest is probably headed for engineering school, which will be the same. He will be in 9th grade next year, and we just made the decision not to do the engineering transfer program at the community college for 11th and 12th grade. He will still probably take chem and physics at the CC, but he will have time in high school to peacewalk, sail his boat around, do lots of D+D stuff, get better at strategy games like go, do a third language, read lots of literature (great books), do some sciences other than bio, chem, and physics, and do some music. He'll probably do some robotics and computer programming also. He'll have a much more normal looking transcript when he applies to college since lots of those things won't show up on it as classes, but he'll be a better educated adult. And since we aren't an academically oriented family and he has lots of things he wants to do other than study or learn out of books, this allows him to enjoy more of his education, to feel that he is getting to learn some of what he wants in whatever way he chooses, and to continue to love to learn.

 

HOWEVER, as I said, mine isn't brilliant. If he were, I'm sure he would be going both wider AND farther, faster, and deeper. We just opted to go wider and a little deeper here and there, and let him enjoy himself. Hopefully he and I won't regret my not pushing him more. Sigh. It is a fine line between pushing and risking burning them out and killing their love of life and learning, and having high expectations and encouraging them to reach their full potential. I don't know any way to walk that line other than asking a child his goals when he isn't feeling tired or distracted (really difficult with a teenager) and then gently nudging him towards those goals the rest of the time.

 

-Nan

[asta]

I am powerfully against a child not having the opportunity to be challenged and to fail safely, to learn how to think and to learn how to grow.

 

A lack of challenge leads to a fear of difficulty, an inability to have persistence, laziness, fear of the unknown, underachievement, a fear of being "stupid," etc. It also causes arrogance, boredom, disengagement, frustration, etc. I have never seen easy course of study have good results.

 

This doesn't mean that school has to take a long time every day! It shouldn't. :-) But it does mean that there should be some challenge every day.

 

See, now, with my kid, it is just the opposite.

 

When he is in over his developmental head, *all* I hear is self-deprecating remarks.

 

Inevitably, a week later he sleeps for 18 hours and wakes up knowing how to approach/do what ever it was he was yanking his hair out about.

 

Amazing how different kids are, eh?

 

 

a

[KristenS]

I'm a generalist too, I guess ... I love trying lots of different things. And was lucky to be raised by a mom who let us try a semester of this, a semester of that, for extracurricular stuff. (We went to PS.)

 

With my son, who's officially going into 2nd, his 'gift' seems to be math. And slowing him down is not an option (except by making him use paper and pencil, LOL). He's doing workbooks a grade level ahead, just to be sure we don't miss stuff, but it's only maybe once every month or two that I actually have to sit down and teach him some concept ... and it always takes me by surprise because I'm so used to him already knowing what he's doing. We'd go farther except I'm afraid of missing some basic thing, and because he's not ready to sit that long. (And because a good math foundation is important to dh.)

 

And I can't stop his learning even if I wanted to. Yesterday he was sitting on the floor playing with our Smath game (like Scrabble only equations) and teaching himself division. Okey-dokey. So much for third grade math this year. Oh well, makes my job easier, and lets me save my energy for the things he does struggle with.

 

I tell ya, these kids can be a wild ride. And mine aren't even profoundly gifted or anything ... just nice and moderate.

 

We've spent the summer trying out stuff all over town ... saw a magic show at the library yesterday, going to a couple pirate-themed events tomorrow (Lowe's building a pirate chest workshop, teamed up coincidentally with a pirate treasure hunt at the kids' history museum), extracted DNA from strawberries (another library event sponsored by a local company) ... just a total mishmash of learning. Tons of fun. And playing with chemistry sets and stuff at home in our spare time. My mom gave me a rootbeer making kit for my birthday, and the kids can't wait to crack into that one soon. So that's the generalist side of us coming out.

 

Scouting, FWIW, is a great way to explore all sorts of things. Ted loved his Tiger year last year and is eagerly anticipating his Wolf year. And LOTS of the things they do tie in well with what we already do for school or fun anyway.

[MissKNG]

We believe that our dd is moderately gifted - nothing off the charts but enough that she is whizzing through school...what little school she has been introduced to at least.

 

She turned 3 in May and will begin PreK/K in September. Her fine motor (writing/tracing) skills are at a normal 3 year old level but her math and phonics are at a K level. I think if I didn't accelerate her to a K level come September, she would become bored and I think it would be an injustice to her education if I kept her doing PreK material. So I would never choose to NOT accelerate her because I think it's important to keep her challenged.

[skaterbabs]

Dot could EASILY have started her schooling two years ago; we deliberately chose to not do so and wait until she was "old enough". She'll be 6 in October and I'm kicking myself for not starting her on CLE a year ago.:glare: She NEEDS to be challenged. Her father and I both were never challenged enough. DH was always abole to figure things out on his own anyway, but I reached a point in which I just couldn't. I needed to be challenged at a younger age; by the time I hit high school science I was lost because I didn't know how to learn something that didn't come easy.

Edited July 11, 2009 by skaterbabs

[SunshineMom]

I do not know how I could ever not be accelerating my children. They are interested in so many things outside our boxed curriculum. Questions not easily answered that send me researching for answers, thank God for the internet! At times I feel inadequate for I donot have a speedy reply to every question. I just keep telling myself that we have time and soon they can do their own research (all in good time).

[EKS]

If waiting to do SOTW 1 is choosing to not accelerate, then we did that. My son is currently about to enter 2nd grade by age but will be doing 4th grade work across the board next year. Except for SOTW. We will be using SOTW 2 as a spine, but many of the supplemental books (and there are a lot) will be above a 2nd grade level (and some will be right on level too). I really think that understanding history takes a bit of having a history of one's own.

[StartingOver]

I never really chose to accelerate or not. I never kept track of grade levels. When we finish one thing, we just move on to the next.

[Ester Maria]

Officially, no - they take their yearly exams grade-appropriate.

Unofficially, though, we basically do the stuff beyond their grade level, combined with some grade level they have less interest in so aren't so advanced with, and combined with the extras. I see no point in holding them back, but I do make sure they know what they "should" know too (another reason why we take exams), even if they aren't as interested in it, since I don't want them to be behind either (especially given that they're probably off to school for high school).

 

They have big discrepancies though, it's sometimes worrying me - for example in one subject they're grade level, in another one three grades above. And they don't "match", so my younger one (they're less than a full year apart) understands and loves more advanced math and science than the older one (who is about a year ahead "only"), while the younger one is grade level English/Italian and the older one few years ahead, and so on. I can get quite messy at times.

However, I never purposely accelerated them - they were just very quick learners so it came naturally. Still, I insist they take exams with their generation. :)

[kmacnchs]

If waiting to do SOTW 1 is choosing to not accelerate, then we did that. My son is currently about to enter 2nd grade by age but will be doing 4th grade work across the board next year. Except for SOTW. We will be using SOTW 2 as a spine, but many of the supplemental books (and there are a lot) will be above a 2nd grade level (and some will be right on level too). I really think that understanding history takes a bit of having a history of one's own.

 

I was told to wait on SOTW 1 with my dd also (on another thread) because, for example, she wouldn't be ready emotionally to learn about the holocaust at age 6 (we are starting her on 1st grade material in a couple of months).

 

I am glad I was told this and I know what I want to do for "history" for her next year but when I do start SOTW 1, how will that work? I ask you because it seems like that is what you are doing...for example, I guess we'll start SOTW 1 when she's 6(?) but by then she may be onto 3rd grade material...will we be "behind"? Just wondering how to line it up. I am a major Personality A type so this "not doing it by the book" is really throwing me for a loop!!

[nmoira]

 

I was told to wait on SOTW 1 with my dd also (on another thread) because, for example, she wouldn't be ready emotionally to learn about the holocaust at age 6 (we are starting her on 1st grade material in a couple of months).

We started ancients when DD the Elder was 4 and are about half-way through medieval at 7.5, and this is doing History four or five days a week. I don't know that I'd call it accelerated, but we typically do enough background history (via History Odyssey) with a number of different resources including CHOW, SOTW, OIS to get the most of an historical novel or two per topic. I think it's fair to say that we're accelerated in terms of input, but I still require only grade level outputs (though sometimes our spontaneous discussions get rather deep).

[EKS]

I was told to wait on SOTW 1 with my dd also (on another thread) because, for example, she wouldn't be ready emotionally to learn about the holocaust at age 6 (we are starting her on 1st grade material in a couple of months).

 

I am glad I was told this and I know what I want to do for "history" for her next year but when I do start SOTW 1, how will that work? I ask you because it seems like that is what you are doing...for example, I guess we'll start SOTW 1 when she's 6(?) but by then she may be onto 3rd grade material...will we be "behind"? Just wondering how to line it up. I am a major Personality A type so this "not doing it by the book" is really throwing me for a loop!!

 

Last year my son did SOTW 1 but was uniformly doing 3rd grade work and reading at a 5th grade level. I just chose supplemental books that were appropriate for him. We are also doing a separate writing program (K12) so I just had him do oral narrations for the SOTW chapters and that was it. He did the coloring pages and mapwork. It was all very relaxed and he came out of it loving history.

 

Not everything has to be at exactly a certain level. Since I don't intend to have my son go to college early he will have the three full history rotations. Lots of people use SOTW with older children, sometimes much older children. Just adjust the supplemental materials appropriately and you're good to go.

 

One other thing--when my son was in K, we did a geography study and then a very brief study of American history. I really like how this worked out because he now knows where things are in the world. Also, the overview of American history is good because he knows the high points, which is helpful. He loves to read books about American history and biographies of famous Americans now too. We used the K12 History K course for this. If I ever had it to do again, this is exactly how I would do it.

Edited July 19, 2009 by EKS

[Rebecca VA]

My daughter did the K12 kindergarten geography/American history program when she was five, and you're right, it was wonderful! She got an excellent foundation in geography, which is so necessary when you're studying world history. We did almost all of the activities. We then went on to K12 first and second grade history, which are just like SOTW, and those were a success as well.

[Moni]

We move at student's pace, whatever that happens to be

 

:seeya: