Swimming lesson frustration, any swim instructors here? WWYD?

[rafiki]

.

[SquirrellyMama]

My only thought would be to do private lessons. He sounds like a shy child who needs to stick with one instructor. Can you get the semi private rate for your 3 kids? I know private instructions are more expensive but you are losing a week of instruction with the public lessons.

[dirty ethel rackham]

It sounds like your son is overwhelmed by the situation of new instructors. Kids who do not swim need to build a level of trust in their instructors. Some do it right away. Some are more cautious. I think this rotating block of instructors is kind of stupid. From what you wrote, it seems like your son needs to work out his trust issues anew every two weeks. Can you explain the situation to the head of the aquatics division to see if she has a suggestion on how to deal with this? Sometimes a "can you help me?" works better than demanding them to change.

 

I had an issue with my sensory son and swim lessons. After trying various things, we ended up having to go with private instruction until he became proficient enough to manage group instruction (all the noise and commotion with group classes was not a safe thing until he could keep his head above water:). It was expensive, but well worth it. If your program does not offer it, can you find an instructor who is willing to do that with you?

[Kim in Appalachia]

His behavior seems normal. My kids swim on a swim team, year round. They know all of the coaches, and have worked with each. Even so, my 7 year old seems to freakout when there is anything different in the routine. If he has to go in a different lane, if they have to get out of the pool because of a storm, if the coach changes, etc... Any little change can set him off. And boy does he cry. The whole pool area is filled with his wailing. This seems to happen every couple of weeks at least. What I do is try to calm him down and then make him swim. He can even cry hard while swimming :tongue_smilie:. One of the coaches told me that boys can have a hard time getting beyond their "box". These are the boys that can not handle new situations or change well. She said my job was to help him learn to cope, because it will probably always be a struggle for him (she assured me he would grow out of the crying dramatics, but said teenage boys find other ways of being dramatic. She speaks from personal experience! :001_smile:)

 

Remember that your son is young, and he is learning how to deal with change. This is a good lesson, even if it's hard on you.

 

If the coach will not handle your son while he cries, then I would make your son sit there with his feet in the water. Remember to prep him well about how he should respond, and about what could happen.

 

I hope it all goes well.

[TraceyS/FL]

I had an issue with my sensory son and swim lessons. After trying various things, we ended up having to go with private instruction until he became proficient enough to manage group instruction (all the noise and commotion with group classes was not a safe thing until he could keep his head above water:). It was expensive, but well worth it. If your program does not offer it, can you find an instructor who is willing to do that with you?

 

Oh gee, yes, you just explained our issues with swim lessons a few years ago...

 

We had good experience with the young classes, but the "big class" - which she was ready for, overload. I knew there were reasons, but now all the pieces are starting to come together.

 

I wonder if the lady i met is still willing to do privates? I should email her.

[KJB]

I have two swim team kids (10 and 12) and a 5.5 year old who has recently taken 3 two week sessions of lessons. My 5 year old is a strong swimmer for his age, but nevertheless the lessons only went great when he liked his teacher.

 

I know where you're coming from and I really do understand. If *I* were you, I'd let him stop taking lessons until he's old enough to have the formality of it stop freaking him out. My dh would probably disagree and want him to go anyway. But, since I do all the driving, he'd be able to quit. :D

 

I'd tell ds it's no big deal and we'll return when he's ready. I'd also tell him that 6 year olds have no problem swimming in the lessons but sometimes it's a little scary for 5 year olds. Then when he's 6, I'd remind him that 6 year olds take lessons and I'd sign him up again.

 

Good luck! I know how frustrating this can be but remember he's just 5. A little guy. :grouphug:

[ChristusG]

Coming from someone who has a shy 5 year old who would freak if she were constantly having a different instructor, that schedule would really suck.

 

My DD took swim lessons last year at the YMCA when she was 4. She was there for three weeks and didn't learn a thing. This year I enrolled my kids in survival swim lessons. It's a private lesson for 10 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 4-6 weeks. Yes, it is rigorous and expensive, but both of my DD's love the instructor and look forward to seeing her each day.

 

I would really have a problem with that rotating schedule.

[chiguirre]

If he will happily get in a pool to play, I would bring along his least favorite schoolwork. He gets the choice of participating in class cheerfully or sitting with you and doing his least favorite work. I wouldn't present this as punishment but as a wise use of school time. You can either take your PE class now or you can do your XXXX.

 

OTOH, if he takes a while to warm up to getting in the pool when you go for fun, I'd chalk it up to him not being ready yet and wait a year. You can also observe what they're doing in the class and practice it with him later. All of my kids really mastered swimming skills by practicing them with me, more than by taking classes.

[In The Great White North]

It sounds like your son is overwhelmed by the situation of new instructors. Kids who do not swim need to build a level of trust in their instructors. Some do it right away. Some are more cautious. I think this rotating block of instructors is kind of stupid. From what you wrote, it seems like your son needs to work out his trust issues anew every two weeks. Can you explain the situation to the head of the aquatics division to see if she has a suggestion on how to deal with this? Sometimes a "can you help me?" works better than demanding them to change.

 

:iagree: Kids decide they like or don't like an activity based on whether or not they like the instructor all the time. I would hate to see him decide he hated swimming because of this instructor roulette situation.

[Sandy in Indy]

Can you ask the head of the swim lessons to assign your son to the same instructor? My ds started a new session today and just happened to get the same instructor. I could see that he did much better because he already knew this gal. It would be worth asking.

[katilac]

This sounds like a kid who might need private lessons, if you can't arrange for him to at least have the same instructor. I have found private lessons to be well worth it - - they are several times more expensive, but also several times more effective, even more so for the slow to warm up child.

 

If you've already committed to a slew of group lessons, I'd reconsider that bribe thing :D. A hard cover copy of The Fairy Chronicles got my dd past the hump of sticking her head entirely under water - money well spent!

[Laurel]

This has been very similar to our experiences with swim lessons. The kids are not at all afraid of the water, but it takes them time to warm up to new situations and new people. We've had many screaming fits on the side of the pool, and lots of siting on the sidelines with arms crossed, etc. I have to be patient and firm. I completely understand the kids' feelings (I don't take well to new situations or people either), but swim lessons are a non-negotiable activity for us. And try to ignore the fact that everyone seems to be staring at me while their kids jump in the water no problem the very first day.

 

Two things that have helped:

We go swimming a lot during the summer ourselves, and I ask the kids to briefly practice their skills. While this helps them a bit, as they become more comfortable with the skills (they also don't like doing things in front of other people), it helps me mentally tremendously, because I can see that even if they are fighting during the lessons, they really are paying attention and learning things.

 

Consistency in teachers. In past years, I have chosen class times that have our preferred teachers. I haven't been able to do that this year. During our first session, we got lucky and the 5 yo got the same teacher that she really liked last year. She jumped in the water no problem the first day. (Small setback when the teacher was out for 2 days, and she refused to get in or do anything...) For the next session (starts next week), she wants to wait to see who the teacher is before we sign up. (She did so well the first session that I would like to keep swim lessons a very positive thing for her, so I am really hoping she will do lessons, but will let it be her decision. If she doesn't like the teacher, it will be nonstop battles for 2 weeks.)

 

Also, this year was the first year for the 3 yo (almost 4), when I wasn't in the water with him. Luckily, his teacher for the first week knew him, and was willing to take him from me into the water, even though he cried a bit, understanding that he would stop crying within a minute or so.

 

 

I would talk to whoever is in charge and really push for keeping the same teacher. I do sometimes worry that I am bothering the teachers because I am super-involved, but I want to get the most out of the swim lessons. Overall, we have been so happy with the lessons, and I am so impressed at how well the kids are swimming these days.

[Mom0012]

We did group lessons numerous times and my kids made so little progress, it was hardly worth it. Within one session of private lessons, my son was floating and by the end of the twice-a-week for 6 weeks session, he was doing 3 different strokes across the pool. I had the exact same experience with my daughter. So, while the private seem more expensive, they were actually far cheaper for us.

 

Lisa

[swimmermom3]

His behavior seems normal. My kids swim on a swim team, year round. They know all of the coaches, and have worked with each. Even so, my 7 year old seems to freakout when there is anything different in the routine. If he has to go in a different lane, if they have to get out of the pool because of a storm, if the coach changes, etc... Any little change can set him off. And boy does he cry. The whole pool area is filled with his wailing. This seems to happen every couple of weeks at least. What I do is try to calm him down and then make him swim. He can even cry hard while swimming :tongue_smilie:. One of the coaches told me that boys can have a hard time getting beyond their "box". These are the boys that can not handle new situations or change well. She said my job was to help him learn to cope, because it will probably always be a struggle for him (she assured me he would grow out of the crying dramatics, but said teenage boys find other ways of being dramatic. She speaks from personal experience! :001_smile:)

 

Remember that your son is young, and he is learning how to deal with change. This is a good lesson, even if it's hard on you.

 

If the coach will not handle your son while he cries, then I would make your son sit there with his feet in the water. Remember to prep him well about how he should respond, and about what could happen.

 

I hope it all goes well.

 

:iagree:I think Kim's dc have a wise coach.

 

I'm embarrassed to admit that we have used bribes here. My 3 dc all started in the water at an early age in Baby and Me classes. Then they started taking lessons through the Parks and Rec. district. The lesson arrangement is very similar to yours with the kids getting new instructors at the beginning of each new 2 week session. All of my kids had some thing that they were fearful of or didn't want to do. For example, my dd would cry every time they asked her to put her face in the water and blow bubbles. No way was she going to do that. So I offered an Ariel Barbie if she would. Yes, I am shameless and lacking in some parenting skills.:D She put her face in the water six times the next day. She has done 3 years of summer league, 3 years of competitive swimming and is now on Varsity for high school. She outgrew it.

 

I do think that sometimes the fearful behavior becomes ingrained, so for us the bribe worked to get my dc past that bugaboo. You are the best judge if your child is truly uncomfortable or if this has become an established pattern.

 

If it's any consolation, I spent every morning of summer vacation at the pool observing lessons for 11 years and children crying at the edge of the pool because they don't want to go with a stranger is totally normal.

[rafiki]

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[rafiki]

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[snickelfritz]

We've gone through, are going through, a similar thing with swim lessons.

 

They have a program to run and, I think, go by what works for "many" children. We have our little individual people who don't always react in expected ways.

 

At least they refunded your money and you were able to get some private lessons figured out.

[swimmermom3]

Hey Michele,

 

Thanks for giving us an update. I was wondering what happened. It sounds like it did work out for the best for your dc and their safety. I would agree with a pp who said their dc learned to swim much faster in private lessons. In a group lesson, each child usually only gets to swim about 15 minutes out of the 30 min. The rest of the time is on the wall.

 

I am surprised at the lack of supervision and caring from your staff and sorry that you and your ds had to experience that. Have fun with the private lessons. Do you swim? Maybe you could take lessons with them. Nothing like an adult, especially one's parent, making a fool of themselves to pu a child at ease.:D

 

Swimming is a handy skill and an awesome sport. I have never regretted the years we've spent at the pool. My best to you and the dc.

[linders]

First,, it sounds like the way the program was run wasn't a good fit, at least for your youngest. But in your second post you mentioned some other stray things that caught my attention, especially the somewhat limited ability to communicate, even with you. I don't think that the delayed writing is a big deal and he might be a bit reserved/shy, but at his age, more might be expected from oral communication. You might want to consider how he operates in areas other than swimming - with siblings, at Sunday School, and such.

 

You are such a good mom to be paying attention to his reaction to things!

[rafiki]

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[swimmermom3]

I am so glad for all of you. Now you can relax a little, Mom. You made a great choice.

 

:hurray::hurray::hurray: