muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 No one would ever call me the life of the party, that's for sure. :D I am generally more serious and thoughtful. I don't naturally tend toward thinking how to make certain things fun for my kids (I certainly don't believe everything *has* to be fun). I tend to be mostly all "business"--let's just get this done and over with. I do have a pretty decent sense of humor, but it's not easy to make me laugh. But if I find someone or some show that can make me laugh, I hang on for dear life! I do have fun with and enjoy my kids immensely...I suppose real-life humor (such as things kids do or say, etc.) is what gives me the most delight. All this to say...how can I lighten up and learn to "enjoy the journey" more and find the fun in things before my kids are grown and gone? I fully understand and believe in the concept, but I'm just having a hard time breaking out of my mold. Any suggestions? And BTW, whoever can make me laugh on here I would give rep points to (if we still had them!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 This is interesting. I am a naturally goofy, fun loving person. My DH is not. He is dignified and reserved most of the time. So, I will just say that for someone like HIM to become more fun loving, he would have to stop worrying about what other people think. His main goal in life is NOT to be seen as a fool. :confused: Now that would be no problem for me at all, so long as I made someone laugh ( even myself!) in the process. So, if you are at all like him and try to maintain an "image", then I say, just let it go. What I tell him is, the whole world is not watching you, they don't really care how you come across. Lighten up. Be willing to be laughed at....it doesn't hurt, honest! He's still working on it. Of course, if you don't relate to this at all - nevermind! :D Another thing to keep in mind if you're just not USED to being silly or light hearted - one of the tricks is to do the unexpected. I try to suprise my kids often, by saying something or doing something that they wouldn't have expected at that moment. Like throwing a wet rag at them from across the room while I'm doing dishes and they are sweeping the floor! Or reading a totally different, silly word into a story and seeing if they catch it. It's getting hard because they expect just about ANYTHING out of me at this point. :D Good luck! I commend you for wanting to try - it's a worthy goal. You will never regret laughing more. My DD8 and I have decided that the ONE and most important thing we will remember about homeschool is...."WE LAUGHED". I am going to have it made into a plaque as a gift for her when she graduates. Just writing it now makes me cry because it is so special to us - the fun we have....just the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 When I was about 8, I paid my sister a dime to give me funny lessons. They didn't work, but I could call and ask if she has any openings in her schedule. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 I would say I don't have an issue with worrying about how I come across (maybe sometimes in certain situations). I'm probably more of an anxious type and so fixated on getting to the end result, just "getting through" something, that I don't enjoy any of it. Why, I don't know. But I so appreciate your advice about doing the unexpected. That will be a good thing for me to be alert to. My kids are thrilled when I do anything like that (sad, because they don't see it enough!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 (edited) Book suggestion: Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen. The other thing that helps me is making sure I get enough of my own recreation time, exercise, reading, etc. I'm more relaxed when I regularly take time out to recharge. Edited June 24, 2009 by jplain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 When I was about 8, I paid my sister a dime to give me funny lessons. They didn't work, but I could call and ask if she has any openings in her schedule. :D Maybe you didn't pay her enough! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I appreciate that you've asked the question. I have very similiar concerns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 What do you think is fun? I am not a fun crafty mom. I can't stand the clutter that all those craft projects make. They make me insane. I can't stand playing dolls or dress up. I don't like playing army guys or pretend. I just don't get it. It isn't fun. But when we get out the Thomas track or duplos or legos or zome or knex, that is fun. So I have fun playing then. I like playing card games with the kids so we have fun there. I like baking with the kids and we have fun there. I like making and doing things so I have fun with the kids in ways that are fun to me. And I hope that is good enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I am not going to give you advice on being more fun, but I can give you some hope. :001_smile: I am more serious, like you. I like funny things, but only smart funny things, not really silly, though. As my dc have grown older (especially the 13 and 11 yo,) we have come to have an enormous amount of fun together, because we "get" each other. We have a very strong family bond built on a shared sly sense of humour. I share the sentiments of a speaker who said that she classically homeschools so that her children can tell really good jokes. Dh and I have always said that the more you know, the more enjoyable and humorous the world is. As dc have gained a solid educational foundation, fun has come with it. It is a different kind of fun, and it takes longer to develop, but it is worth the wait. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 What is fun and funny to you? I like having fun but My fun is probably different than a lot of people's definition. I like to be goofy and so does ds so that's a key component in our school. I'm probably not the life of a party because I'm truly an introvert, but at home silliness reigns. We make up silly songs, we listen to silly songs, we make up rhymes, we march military style while doing Latin (we use the guns too), we sometimes let our minds just wander and follow the paths they go down, that's always an adventure. We sometimes watch a funny movie and torture dh by repeating the lines over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 More tequila. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 You might try watching a very funny movie together as a family. That way you all can hoot n' holler (Southern term!) and laugh together. It seems that laughter is contagious, and the movie will allow you to be a more passive participant and enjoy the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 Book suggestion: Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen. The other thing that helps me is making sure I get enough of my own recreation time, exercise, reading, etc. I'm more relaxed when I regularly take time out to recharge. Thanks--sounds like a book I need! And I sure don't get enough of my own time. I am seeking it out, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 More tequila. And here are your rep points! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 What do you think is fun? . Good question. Sometimes I find it hard to identify (cuz I'm obviously not in touch with my fun self! ;)) I really don't like crafts much, don't like rough-housing or physical play. I surprised myself as a mom when I realized how much I enjoyed reading aloud and with expression, so sometimes I'll do funny voices, etc. Clever humor is more interesting to me than silly or slapstick humor, although I've got a dramatic, slapstick kind of son, so it's growing on me! :D I've always loved to read, but I rarely do it anymore for myself. I love to sing, play music, but all these things aren't so much fun but pleasurable. I can't believe that my answer is...I'm gonna have to think about it. Sort of the same answer to the question, what are your hobbies? or what do you do for fun? pretty much not much. good grief. I'm worse off than I thought! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I think it is more about personality.....I think outgoing people are usually more fun, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 <snip> All this to say...how can I lighten up and learn to "enjoy the journey" more and find the fun in things before my kids are grown and gone? I fully understand and believe in the concept, but I'm just having a hard time breaking out of my mold. Any suggestions? As counter-intuitive as this might sound, sometimes you have to force yourself and sometimes you almost have to 'schedule in' the fun, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. At work, we called this fake it till you make it. For example, dh went swimming with the kids the other day. We trade-off doing stuff like that a lot, so we each have time to get things done, but it can become a habit of rarely doing things ALL together. So, I forced myself to throw on the suit and go out there - - and they yelled, "Mommy's coming in, too!" Just having both of us in the pool was fun for them, I didn't have to 'do' much more than be there. And I would up enjoying it, and my idiot task list wasn't much longer than it would have been if I'd skipped it. If it's hard for you to spontaneously add fun to regular days, again, schedule it in. Make a note in your personal calendar, and when that day comes, announce that you've all been working hard, so today you're going to go get donuts in your pajamas, or wait till afternoon and say the final subject is "ice cream at Baskin Robbins." You can schedule math games instead of math lessons in the same way, and (my kids' favorite) special holidays. We do Jammy Day (schoolwork in our pjs) and International Cookie Day (cookies for breakfast) and Topsy-Turvy Day (the kids teach the lessons; this is great review). Again, you can schedule these for your comfort level; it's still a surprise to the kids! School can be a grind; sometimes life can be a grind, and we need to jolt ourselves out of that. As far as school itself is concerned, here's my tried and true list o' fun: *99.9% of kids love whiteboards and colored dry erase markers; invest in some small ones and one on the wall if you can. My kids love ours (I have a 10yr old dd, too), and recently swooned when we did Latin conjugations with new, hot pink markers. *Along the same lines, don't hesitate to buy occasional fun things that you don't 'need.' Our fun stuff includes a school bell and a hall pass, because it amuses my kids to no end to ask permission to use the restroom (and then have me check for their pass upon return). *Head outside on nice days; an old blanket and a $6 lap desk mean that you will never gaze longingly out the window again. *Offer occasional, unexpected prizes - - a piece of candy, a notebook with kittens on the cover, red ink pens (another universally popular item, dunno why). Sometimes we do very silly prizes, you got the answer o' the day correct! you get a stamp ON YOUR FOREHEAD!. *Almost anything that has to be studied/reviewed can be turned into a quick, no planning required game: call out Latin words, kids have to sit for the nouns and stand for the verbs; have the kids toss a ball to each other as they answer questions, if they answer wrong, they have to run a lap around the yard (my kids love this; why??); have Topsy Turvy Day and let her be the teacher, quizzing YOU; another foreign language one is to call out the word and the kids have to perform an action related to that word (start with easy ones, like 'jump' and move on to harder ones like 'think' or 'dream') *Don't forget actual games - - bingo for most subjects, word games, math games, art games, science games! *The quickest way to engage learners is to, well, engage them - - that is, actively involve them in the learning process, rather than expecting them to just receive and manipulate information all day. Science experiments, art projects, all that messy stuff. *Create opportunities for home schooled kids to share and display their work: frame and hang art work, put good papers on the fridge, make a deal about showing the non-teaching parent the history notebook, send photos and samples to grandma. It's very disspiriting to most kids to knock themselves out finishing a project only to have mom quickly grade and file it, never to be seen again. *Make a show of it when kids finish a book or course - - wow, look at all the math problems you've worked! look, you were only adding when you started, and now you can do long division! my kids have the silly gene, and they run around the house with the book, doing the Dance of Joy, and then write messages and draw pictures all over it (ComPletd by Lucy, on a Thursday, happy face and rainbows). *get out of the house - - field trips, of course, but also try schooling at the library, the park, Starbucks! mix it up, it's way too easy to fall in a rut as home schoolers who rarely HAVE to leave the house. Most kids love a change of scenery, especially one that involves snacks. *when you do stay home, remember - - hey, you're at home! nothing wrong with the occasional jammie day, right? 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KidsHappen Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 More tequila. Here, here! My kids love it when mom has had a couple cocktails. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 As counter-intuitive as this might sound, sometimes you have to force yourself and sometimes you almost have to 'schedule in' the fun, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. At work, we called this fake it till you make it. For example, dh went swimming with the kids the other day. We trade-off doing stuff like that a lot, so we each have time to get things done, but it can become a habit of rarely doing things ALL together. So, I forced myself to throw on the suit and go out there - - and they yelled, "Mommy's coming in, too!" Just having both of us in the pool was fun for them, I didn't have to 'do' much more than be there. And I would up enjoying it, and my idiot task list wasn't much longer than it would have been if I'd skipped it. If it's hard for you to spontaneously add fun to regular days, again, schedule it in. Make a note in your personal calendar, and when that day comes, announce that you've all been working hard, so today you're going to go get donuts in your pajamas, or wait till afternoon and say the final subject is "ice cream at Baskin Robbins." You can schedule math games instead of math lessons in the same way, and (my kids' favorite) special holidays. We do Jammy Day (schoolwork in our pjs) and International Cookie Day (cookies for breakfast) and Topsy-Turvy Day (the kids teach the lessons; this is great review). Again, you can schedule these for your comfort level; it's still a surprise to the kids! School can be a grind; sometimes life can be a grind, and we need to jolt ourselves out of that. As far as school itself is concerned, here's my tried and true list o' fun: *99.9% of kids love whiteboards and colored dry erase markers; invest in some small ones and one on the wall if you can. My kids love ours (I have a 10yr old dd, too), and recently swooned when we did Latin conjugations with new, hot pink markers. *Along the same lines, don't hesitate to buy occasional fun things that you don't 'need.' Our fun stuff includes a school bell and a hall pass, because it amuses my kids to no end to ask permission to use the restroom (and then have me check for their pass upon return). *Head outside on nice days; an old blanket and a $6 lap desk mean that you will never gaze longingly out the window again. *Offer occasional, unexpected prizes - - a piece of candy, a notebook with kittens on the cover, red ink pens (another universally popular item, dunno why). Sometimes we do very silly prizes, you got the answer o' the day correct! you get a stamp ON YOUR FOREHEAD!. *Almost anything that has to be studied/reviewed can be turned into a quick, no planning required game: call out Latin words, kids have to sit for the nouns and stand for the verbs; have the kids toss a ball to each other as they answer questions, if they answer wrong, they have to run a lap around the yard (my kids love this; why??); have Topsy Turvy Day and let her be the teacher, quizzing YOU; another foreign language one is to call out the word and the kids have to perform an action related to that word (start with easy ones, like 'jump' and move on to harder ones like 'think' or 'dream') *Don't forget actual games - - bingo for most subjects, word games, math games, art games, science games! *The quickest way to engage learners is to, well, engage them - - that is, actively involve them in the learning process, rather than expecting them to just receive and manipulate information all day. Science experiments, art projects, all that messy stuff. *Create opportunities for home schooled kids to share and display their work: frame and hang art work, put good papers on the fridge, make a deal about showing the non-teaching parent the history notebook, send photos and samples to grandma. It's very disspiriting to most kids to knock themselves out finishing a project only to have mom quickly grade and file it, never to be seen again. *Make a show of it when kids finish a book or course - - wow, look at all the math problems you've worked! look, you were only adding when you started, and now you can do long division! my kids have the silly gene, and they run around the house with the book, doing the Dance of Joy, and then write messages and draw pictures all over it (ComPletd by Lucy, on a Thursday, happy face and rainbows). *get out of the house - - field trips, of course, but also try schooling at the library, the park, Starbucks! mix it up, it's way too easy to fall in a rut as home schoolers who rarely HAVE to leave the house. Most kids love a change of scenery, especially one that involves snacks. *when you do stay home, remember - - hey, you're at home! nothing wrong with the occasional jammie day, right? Great ideas, katilac! thank you! Part of my problem is that I am seriously lacking in fun ideas. But, now, thanks to you, I've got a whole list of 'em! Here's an idea the fun parent in our family had recently: right before bedtime dh called out "pj treats!" and we all piled into the car in jammies to go to Sonic for a treat. Now, why didn't I think of that?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 I think it is more about personality.....I think outgoing people are usually more fun, LOL! Me too...unfortunately, I'm not really one of those! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 I didn't finish reading. I am a lot like you, but improving in the fun department. 1. Change your attitude. Yeah, playing candyland is boring, but so is sitting around on the computer, watching TV, paying bills, driving somewhere, (fill in the blank). You just have to do it and fake it. 2. Consider treatment for depression, even if it is something natural like amino acids, raw cocao, or fish/flax oil. (I have improved!) 3. Just do it. Make it something that forces you into the mold, like a game with rules. (win, lose or draw with playdo, candyland DVD, any kind of twister game, soccer, flag football.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Great ideas, katilac! thank you! Part of my problem is that I am seriously lacking in fun ideas. But, now, thanks to you, I've got a whole list of 'em! Here's an idea the fun parent in our family had recently: right before bedtime dh called out "pj treats!" and we all piled into the car in jammies to go to Sonic for a treat. Now, why didn't I think of that?? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 I didn't finish reading. I am a lot like you, but improving in the fun department. 1. Change your attitude. Yeah, playing candyland is boring, but so is sitting around on the computer, watching TV, paying bills, driving somewhere, (fill in the blank). You just have to do it and fake it. 2. Consider treatment for depression, even if it is something natural like amino acids, raw cocao, or fish/flax oil. (I have improved!) 3. Just do it. Make it something that forces you into the mold, like a game with rules. (win, lose or draw with playdo, candyland DVD, any kind of twister game, soccer, flag football.) Yeah...attitude is something I struggle with all the time. I am just one of those cup-half-empty types. I desperately don't want to be, but I am. So I keep fighting the uphill battle. I won't give up...just wish I could see greater progress. Amino acids. Check. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 Thanks SO much for all the encouragement and input! A huge help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Everyone in my house likes to have fun at my expense. They all think that I am not that fun. But about activities- I do plan that. I make sure they have plenty of fun even though they think I don't. See I would rather read a good mystery or go look at flowers. I am not fond of most comedic movies although I do like some comedians. I generally am not a slapstick kind of person and they all like to do things like either doodle on my newspaper or watch their dad draw funny cartoons. ALl four of them read comics and I never do. I am not changing. They love me anyway although I am more serious. I am not a grouch, worried about other;s opinions or anything like that. I just have different interists (sp I know but having a brain spasm or something since I tried to spell that five or sic different ways). THey can watch their silly shows while I watch my news program or my mystery diagnosis or Dr. G. I find my dh and dd's enginnering shows quite boring and unfun. C'est la vie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 What I tell him is, the whole world is not watching you, they don't really care how you come across. Ahh, but he probably doesn't believe you, because he is watching the whole world and how it comes across. Some of us are just wired that way. If we don't create our own image, we don't know who to be, then we have to be put on medication. Thankfully, those personas are not set in stone and can be tweaked, but it is a slow process for the perpetually careful. How do I know? :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 we are making our morning routine fun with Childrens Miracle Music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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