KidsHappen Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 As I have mentioned before, I am not just introverted but painfully so. If it was just me, I would be quite content to be a recluse. But alas, I have two younger children who are just the opposite and long to be little social butterflies. So I make efforts on their behalf but it is so incredibly difficult not only because of my introversion but also because of our unconventional lifestyle. We are non-Christians that live in the heart of the Bible belt. We homeschool in a neighborhood full of PSers. We keep very weird hours that are totally out of sync with the rest of society. Our lifestyle is very different than the rest of the neighbors and because they don't know me very well they are understandably cautious. Given my introversion and the fact that I am not of the inclination to explain myself and put others at ease, this makes things difficult for my youngest two through no fault of their own which of course makes me feel bad. Finally, we are dealing with the normal friction that goes on in any large group of children playing together which is making things even more difficult. I am feeling especially stressed and discouraged about these issues the last few days. That's all. Thanks for listening. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy2be Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. This may be one of those things that your children complain about now - but it will probably also be one of those things they won't hold against you as they get older and understand that there are 'different strokes for different folks' and realize that not everyone is a social butterfly and it's perfectly ok not to be! I was actually a very outgoing young person and loved to socialize or do anything to get out of the house and around people. As I have gotten older I grow into more and more of a homebody with each year it seems. It's also perfectly ok to explain to them that it makes you very uncomfortable and nervous. Them actually knowing why you don't like to socialize and understanding how you feel is far better them just knowing that you don't like to - without a reason. KWIM? My parents seemed to not really explain to me how they were feeling about certain things - which left me to guess or assume how they felt. As you can see - a child trying to guess or assuming how their parents feel on a given subject more than likely will lead to them having a way different idea of what's going on than what really is... Just because your Mom doesn't mean that you can't share your feelings. I hope I've given you some sort of new perspective or anything that might help... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Shame we live so far from each other... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 :grouphug: I'd love having you as a neighbor.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 You're not alone. I would stay at home 24 hours a day if I could. We're having a hard time finding friends. We're non-Christian in a very Christian environment. I can't seem to get into the loop with all the great homeschool activities without going to Bible studies.....And it's all super frustrating. We're in the same place. I tell my little ones that I'm trying my hardest to get out there. It doesn't help that I get physically ill when I'm around groups of people. It can be very embarassing. But I still try. Even at 9 & 6, I think they understand my effort. They do know I'm trying. That does help. Have you tried sports? Soccer and taekwondo have helped them get friends and lets me sit in the corner with my book. I've even had a couple of nice conversations with other moms. Misery loves company and I hope you're comforted knowing there are others out here in the same hole-ridden, damp, sinking boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Wow... and where in Middle TN are you? I could have written a lot of your post and I'm in MidTN as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I'm so sorry for you. I have seen many introverts and love getting to know them. That's just what I do, if they let me in. I wish I was closer to you - I'm not! Surely there must be some secular homeschool group near you, isn't there? If not, can you drive to one? Two years I drove 45 minutes each way to homeschool groups for my kids. I made friends, too, and it helped that I loved the moms. The commute didn't bother me, it was important for the kids. If not a homeschool group, can your kids join Boy/Girl Scouts? We had luck with that because the same SMALL group of kids meet every week. I found that sports wasn't a way for my boys to connect with others because all the kids already had their friends from school and my boys were strangers. We were new to town and it was SO hard. I sooooooo feel your pain. Theater? I hope things turn around for you! Denise Who doesn't know how to NOT approach people and talk openly, but who was such a shy child that I wouldn't approach my OWN PARENTS if their friends were around! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I, too, could have written your post, with the exception that I have learned how to talk to people (sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes not). It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I knew I HAD to make the effort. And it was HUGE. I forced myself to talk to people every chance I could, but ONLY if i knew it wouldn't 'go anywhere'. For example, I'd say something to the lady behind me in the grocery line about how fast/slow the line was moving.....I would ask the customer ahead of me at the deli if XX brand of meat was good....that sort of thing. It took a while, but now I can pretty much talk to anyone. I think it's obvious when I DON'T want to talk, however, as I've been told by many people that I give off a snobbish attitude. ??? Because I'm actually a shy person faking enjoying myself in a group, I'm a snob? Once people get to know me, they realize that it wasn't snobbery, but shyness. Still, that comment hurts. Anyway....have you tried looking on for Yahoo groups? I'm in Alabama (also not a Christian in a very Christian area!), and I found a couple of groups through Yahoo....I searched for 'Alabama secular homeschooling' and variations like that. While I'm not active on the groups, it's comforting to know there are people like me out there! Where in Tn are you? I'm about 2 hours from Nashville, and 1 1/2 hours from Chattanooga. Maybe some of us can meet for a field trip sometime? How are you with meeting one or two people at a time? My dd is 12 and loves to meet new kids. Kalah, I'm just like you in that I'd rather sit in the corner with my book than talk to groups of people. :D Sometimes I think I'd be happiest on some acreage with a bunch of books, a bunch of animals, and have my groceries delivered. :tongue_smilie: I'm just not a 'people person', and that's hard for a lot of people to get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 If you're looking for geeks: http://www.meridies.org/index.php Rosie- A geek :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.