I guess we have 12 more years to go. That sounds about right, since there are times when it feels like I have a 13 year-old toddler in the house. A very sweet and cute one, to be fair, but kinda frustrating to me.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'll add to what a couple of other posters have said, that your post-divorce life will be less stressful than your pre-divorce life. My life as a single parent to four is stressful, trying to homeschool the two eldest through exams, dealing with two in schools that are giving me trouble, looking for paid work, but it is SO much LESS stressful than being married was. And that's even with my xDH being a pretty nice okay person (at least in terms of not being nasty and harassing). We all went together recently to hear a concert that two of mine were in, and even though we all got along fine, I was so happy that xDH went off to his own place afterward and the rest of us could go to ours. I hope you'll find a similar peace amid the chaos. PM me if you like.

Are you on Message? That's the forum for expats in Paris. We were living near St Germain en Laye for a year and a half while homeschooling and there were a few families in that area. I found them via Message. You do have to pay to join but in my experience it was worth it for the help I got from the board.

Maybe she was clueless and slightly freaked out about her ds? I tend to overshare when I'm freaked out about something with one of my kids and am looking for understanding. Or maybe she was just obnoxious.

A very happy birthday to you! My xdh was not great about birthdays, so eventually I started going out and buying myself gifts and making my own celebration. Maybe it's weird, but it worked for me.

So true. My dds were skipped two years in primary school, the first time by mutual agreement with the school and the second time when the school decided in the last months of what should have been the penultimate year that the school could not meet their needs. So a week after they turned ten, they started at the secondary school (grades 7 to 12). It wasn't what I wanted for them. I wanted them to be with kids their own age, enjoy school and be challenged academically. One of those things had to go (homeschooling was not legal in our situation where we lived). You do the best you can in a situation where "best", as Jenne says, is unfortunately often equivalent to "least bad."

When DS was four, we was in pre-school in France and ate lunch at school a couple of times a week. The menu was published on the town's website, and I was always jealous that I couldn't have school lunches with him. He would get a starter, meat/veg, cheese/yoghurt and a dessert. In afterschool he would get a roll with jam or similar. DS loved it, but he will eat pretty much anything and everything. I remember when my dds were about 5 they became extremely picky for a couple of years, but picky about everything -- they wouldn't touch pizza, pasta, french fries, certain veg, etc. It passed and now they eat almost everything. I never really catered to any of unless it suited me (certainly not going to push pizza on them if they dislike it!), gave them their meal, told them they didn't have to eat it but they did have to look at it, and hoped for the best. For them, this has worked well as they all seem to have healthy attitudes toward food and a good sense of how much/what to eat.

I think there's apps for creating wishlists. One word of warning - I have a similar situation with in-laws who just don't get what the kids are all about but will be generous with gifts. One year I thought I would be clever with an Amazon wishlist for them. The kids added what they wanted, I edited it for price/appropriateness, and we sent off the link. They had actually asked for a list, so it was fine to send specific requests and no one was offended. The in-laws then bought EVERYTHING on the list! I was horrified. Even worse, ds7 got about 5 substantial gifts, while ds12 received medium-sized gift (he'd added only one because he didn't really want anything gift, while ds7 loves anything and everything). These were opened by in a Skype session with the in-laws, who could see ds7 opening lots of pressies while ds12 had just the one, but nothing was ever said! Fortunately ds12 chose to be amused rather than offended, and ds7 didn't notice. DDs got quite a few presents too but not as many as ds7. I was seriously annoyed but didn't say anything as it wouldn't have done any good. So it might be wise if you think this or something similar could happen to annotate the wishlist with specific limitations or keep it trimmed down! This year they gave xdh a huge chunk of money to buy gifts for the kids, but not all of that got spent on the kids! And as for inappropriate gifts, MIL just kindly gave ds7 a bright pink box for his rainbow loom and oodles of pink and purple bands. Very nice, but not exactly his colours! She means well but doesn't think.

Would it be easier for him to do fewer subjects each day for a longer period each time? So two subjects for two hours each, plus one at one hour? That would reduce the stress of transitioning between subjects. My dds have nine subjects but don't do each every day. A couple of these require a final project rather than an exam and sometimes it's easier for them to spend a couple of hours on these in one go. I've also noticed when they are writing that it's easier to give them a longer time to do that, because otherwise by the time they're really into what they're writing it's time to move on. Also, do you have records of how long a typical assignment takes? DDs write down how long each day's work actually takes and that makes it easier for me to plan their day. Before we got the hang of this I would assign too much for the time allocated, which just made everyone stressed out.

Thanks! DD is a semi-finalist and wanting to go to China for the year program. It sounds great, but I am a bit concerned about the part where we had to agree not to go visit her or let her come home without permission from the program and her host family. Obviously I won't be moving to wherever she is and hanging around constantly, but I would like to see her during the year! I'm also a bit concerned about letting another family/program tell me when and if I can see my child. While I can see their point, I am not sure how comfortable I am with agreeing to sign away my right to see her. I was wondering how this rule plays out -- does it go so far that they limit phone/email contact? Or does it go the other way, and you can go see your kid for a reasonable-length visit once or twice?

Just wondering whether anyone has any experience with the NSLI for Youth program that they could share, good or bad? Thanks.

I think the beverages you bring should include eggnog, milkshakes, root beer floats, and soda (I'm thinking Cokes and Mountain Dew, anything with lots of caffeine). Seriously though, you're being a good friend, and I hope you can find time for a traditional meal for your family.

DS12 is getting the Bigshot Camera, a kit to build your own camera. He likes photography, and I'm trying to encourage his building/putting together skills. Maybe a bit young for a 14 yo but you never know. Also a couple of brand-name shirts that are too expensive imho to buy just because, Risk, Monopoly, Angry Birds sodas (he got one last year in his stocking and still remembers it as yummy (he gets soda maybe three or four times a year though so ymmv)). Grandparents have bought a new case for his violin, and he's getting a laptop case as well.

Grumpy mom here too. My parents are here (though not staying with us) because they need to spend every single Christmas with us. Every single Christmas of my entire life, wherever I am. But they don't really do fun Christmas stuff except overload kids with gifts (like last night giving DS7 a remote control helicopter 5 days before Christmas? Generous but could it please wait because he is now in the mode of "what is today's present"?) and ask me what the plan is for the day, which I have to coordinate. DCs have multiple and often conflicting singing commitments starting tomorrow evening. xDH has barely seen kids in last few months but now wants to tag along to services the kids are singing in, which the kids don't want. I'm just trying to remember that my parents are wonderful generous people who love me and don't really mean to be driving me nuts. I'm letting xDH sort himself out - if he can get to the services on his own, great, if not, too bad. Trying to do the Christmas stuff in between all of this. Oh and I'm sick with a nasty cough for the third time since September, fun. Here's to all the grumpy moms!

I don't have particularly fond memories of childhood Christmases. It was all about "stuff" -- we got lots of presents, went to the houses of my parents' friends, where we got more stuff, and stuffed ourselves with Christmas dinner. There was a little bit of church. There wasn't much togetherness, no special traditions, no focus on giving to others, no magic. If I had to choose, I'd choose memories of family traditions and special times together over the flood of presents any day. I hope you have a very special Christmas, with much love and time together. This quotation was the quotation of the month in the Laura Ingalls Wilder newsletter that I get by email every month. It think it puts a good perspective on things. "And in the very toe of each stocking was a shining bright, new penny! They had never even thought of such a thing as having a penny. Think of having a whole penny for your very own. Think of having a cup and a cake and a stick of candy and a penny. There had never been such a Christmas."

DS7 goes through phases of lying, particularly about food issues. I don't think he means to be "bad", he just takes the easiest/most convenient approach. What works somewhat is telling him that I can no longer trust him and that I will be monitoring his every move. So if he lied about brushing his teeth, then I will make sure to watch him brush his teeth every time and tell him why I'm doing it. With something like the cookie, I think I'd say, well, I obviously cannot trust you to put this aside so I will have to lock it up or put it well out of your reach. It seems to be working -- it worked in the past, and now we're having a recurrence of the lying over the last few weeks (triggered by having to restrict food because of a stomach virus, which triggered DS's food issues related to adoption). Do you talk to DS about not being able to trust him anymore if he lies? I don't really punish him too harshly because I think that punishing him will cause him to lie more -- he knows he's done something he shouldn't do, and he lies to cover up, but if he knows he will be punished for his actions and his lying he will I think just become better at lying. I've encouraged him to own up to what he's done, praise him for being honest and give a mild consequence for the action. I'm also trying to remove temptation, so not leaving sweets within reach because I don't think he is capable at this age and with his food issues of withstanding temptation.

I did an MSc entirely online through University of London's SOAS Centre for Finance and Management. In my experience, recruiters/employers have not thought any less of this degree because it was done online. When I finished it, the whole program had a big graduation ceremony, and it was so cool to see lots of people from all over the world with lots of different backgrounds come together to get their degrees.

The Thanksgiving store is at 20, rue Saint Paul, which is in the middle of three separate Metro stations. When I went there I was on foot taking the Metro, so perhaps she has the address wrong? It's also fairly near a monastery-run store called Monastika that sells nice gift-type items that might be of interest as she is in a religious order. I seem to remember being able to find fresh cranberries in a regular grocery store like Carrefour or Auchan but can't be certain.

There's a small American grocery store in Paris (and probably larger ones as well but this is the one I've been to). http://www.thanksgivingparis.com/

My 15 yos have one smartphone they can share, and a "dumb" phone for when they each need one. I got the smartphone option because where we live public transport is not the most reliable and trains/buses may be diverted or cancelled. I wanted them to have access to maps online and transport info so they can figure out how they can get back home if necessary.

I'll pick DS12. He has enough e-gadgets. He reads but I've taken advantage of the book sales at Bethlehem Books and he now has a virtual stack of books he hasn't yet read. He's at boarding school so the school provides games, puzzles, etc to play with. He plays sports but there's only so many soccer balls you can get. Maybe I'll just get him lots of chocolate. DS7 on the other hand is supereasy -- I think I could go into ToysRUs blindfolded, grab any random 5 items of the shelf, and he would think it the greatest Christmas ever.

As you may know, the Dutch government is trying to ban home schooling, which is already possibly only in very limited circumstances. Here's a petition for anyone who wants to sign. I understand that some think it's not appropriate to sign a petition about a law in another country, and I understand that, but there are many non-Dutch signatories to this petition, so I'm posting in case anyone would like to sign. https://www.change.org/petitions/stop-the-ban-on-home-education-in-the-netherlands Also, if you're interested, my DDs were invited to guest-blog for a site aimed at students, on the subject of home-schooling. Here is the link. Although the article is not in English, if you speak German or Dutch you may be able to get some of it. DDs have also written a letter on the subject to the Minister for Education, who has yet to respond. http://www.scholieren.com/blog/3893/thuisonderwijs-zegen-of-zonde

My 7 yo wants a chainsaw. I think he wants a real one (he watched a YouTube video about how to use a chainsaw, and thinks he knows how to use one now!), but will settle for a toy one.

My youngest has daytime wetting at times. We're still doing testing to see what the underlying cause is, but in his case I've noticed that it gets worse if he is constipated and when he is stressed. When he is neither constipated or stressed, it's quite manageable, as long as we limit water (dr's orders) when we're out and remind him to use the bathroom often. With stress, I noticed that a couple of times he would be stressed from things happening at school (kids teasing him) and start wetting. Because he wasn't telling me about the teasing, I couldn't figure out what was going on, until afterwards. We've had a lot less wetting since he switched schools, because of less stress. Is it possible your son is stressed because of things happening at school or extracurriculars?

The criteria are unknown, which is one thing that is troublesome. No one will say what they are. As for music chairs, there's four violins and ds holds the highest grade of the four. No auditions. So I can see why he thinks that's unfair. I can see the point in shifting the chairs around a bit, but I sure wish they'd tell the boys that's what they're doing instead of assigning things randomly (and asking doesn't get you an answer). It's all quite opaque. Which is annoying because one of the nice things about music is that it is audition based and reasonably fair! I don't so much mind that ds didn't get a position -- it's just that the way things worked out he's ended up being excluded and in such a small year group it's very noticeable.If I were in charge, I would have given both ds and the other boy who was left out something to do.