What I think is not going to matter much in your marriage...BUT...I do agree with what you wish to give. If your husband grew up with very little, he is probably afraid of losing everything. I know how he feels. I always feel doom when I spend money because it was ingrained in me growing up. I hope you all can come to a good compromise.

A few things we were factoring in was that the commute in to the downtown area involved a lot of tolls, and would be very long. The company did not have a good reputation for how they treat their workers. We were not weighing heavily on that second factor though. It felt like a lot of the people we would hear from would say over an hour commute to get in to the downtown area basically. I have the younger children in public school and the oldest will start college in 2.5 years, so all that had to be considered. We would have to live in the suburbs to have decent schools. So basically, I feel if we heard from another company in the same area (just not downtown) it could be fine. My husband has anxiety issues. It has caused a lot of trouble with this job search. For example, right now, he thinks that because he gave the excuse of not wanting to relocate to turn down that job, he thinks if he gets called for any other job that would involve relocating to that state, that it would get back to the people hiring him at that company and would just be bad. This really bothers me. He seems to get caught up a lot on what he thinks other people will just KNOW or find out and how bad it will make him look. I know this is just his social anxiety, and working from home for the last several years has not helped, he seems to be worse off now than before. Another example is that when the travel agent messed up his travel dates, he was 100% convinced that he could not resolve it. He would not call HR on the phone because he was sure that would make him look so bad it would destroy everything, but he also was 100% certain that speaking to the supervisor of the travel agent who messed up his travel dates would destroy everything. He was convinced that everyone would know from HR to the manager he was supposed to be working for to everyone. He saw it as 100% unresolvable. He completely crumbled under the pressure of having to resolve conflict and was convinced that everyone would know. In fact, that was the final straw that got him to turn down that last job. I think I posted about it already. He could not speak up for himself, he could not advocate at all, over a simple matter of the travel dates being messed up by the travel agent. Anyway, I did tell him if he gets another call from anyone else in that part of the country, please consider the job. But he is convinced it will get back to every company that he claimed relocation as a reason to not take that one job. For me personally, I think I need to get pushy and move involved. I sat back thinking he could handle everything himself. But he completely crumbled and lost it over the travel issue. What I should have done is tell him that if he is turning down the job, I will call the travel agency myself first. Not sure if that would have worked because he said that if I did, then he would have to face those people after that and everyone would know his wife had to call the travel agency. Just basically, he has incredible social anxiety. Maybe he really does need to go back to defense. It is quiet, safe, stable, predictable.....

I hate to be the non-PC one on this, but, mental illness usually has a genetic component and he was in foster care, meaning neither of his parents were able to parent him. Compulsive and/or pathological lying can be a sign of a bigger mental illness. I would be on the alert for other issues. Has he had a full psychological evaluation? You will want to keep an eye on this.

We have it on the IMAC.

I don't know if it is the time of year or what, but he has sent out tons of resumes and gotten little to no interest, except that one.

Best wishes for everyone.

Just rethinking this... let's say you firmly have maybe 8-10 months worth of salary saved up for emergencies. You are near debt free, enough that if you took the 8-10 months worth of salary saved up and paid off your only debt, you would be debt free, would you consider moving to a HCOL area, even though you would have to take out a bunch of debt in the form of a new mortgage? OR, would you take advantage of the savings (which means you are spending that savings in the meantime) to continue to look for jobs in the LCOL areas? Remember, relocating to a HCOL area would mean a time commitment to stay there because they paid for relocation, so it is not as simple as just look for a new job soon after moving. edited to add: our current house is more than what we need, so with our next move, we had hoped to go enough less expensive on the next house to be 100% debt free. We could easily do that and stay here and still have a nice enough house.

That sounds awful!!!! I think I would have nothing to do with them. I have no tolerance for that stuff.

Our AG dolls and Bitty Baby swap clothes so much that I am often not sure which went with which doll. I am sure it will be fine.

LMX. You don't put it on a puncture wound, but you can put it on where you will get a puncture wound.

then take it back to Target.

If your mother is local, thank her for it when you drop the basket back off to her to eat and tell her you can't eat it. Are the kids all allergic too?

I saw this thing online called "Man Crates" I think it looks so cool! If I had any men to buy for, I think I would order from there. Check it out.

I am very sorry! (((hugs)))

Yeah, your partner shouldn't have said that.

Right now, 1 yr old is only getting presents that I doubt he is that interested in, but, I had in storage because they had been given to him as gifts, but were never "given" to him as he just didn't seem that interested at the time. I feel kind of bad that I did not buy anything for him that I picked out just for him. At the store, he seems to really like that Fisher Price little robot ($36 at Target). I think he would really like the B-toys musical symphony type toy (http://www.target.com/p/b-symphony-2/-/A-13832024) But maybe I could get him one of those little animals that sings. Am I being silly? He has tons of toys as handmedowns. I am guessing that even if I spend the money to buy something new, he will just be interested in whatever his older siblings got and won't care about whatever new toy I buy. What do you think? Suck it up and buy him a new toy, or give him what I already have?

If you were not specific, or did not follow up, as in..if you were too casual in how you asked, they probably did not know they were supposed to still come. So, if you said "we should get together Wednesday at my house" and they said "yeah, that would be great, fun" then it does not really sound committal. But if you said all that but then the conversation went on to say "at 2pm? we will have a picnic" and they all say "yes, 2pm works for us" and pull out their phones and input it and such, then yeah, that is committed.

I think this was a $400 tree bought 9.5 yrs ago when we moved here, but we got it for half price. The lights were not good after a few years so I cut those off and we string our own lights each year.

Thank you!!!

I need that post from where I asked about a tax problem, but I still have no idea how to find my past posts. I click on "my content" and it shows me even posts that I have not read, let alone posted on.

I think we should keep the tree. I looked up how much they cost and it really made the one we have look a lot better! LOL

How long would you keep a fake tree? This is our 10th Christmas with this tree. I like it and think it is just fine. My husband says it is time to let it go. Through the years, needles have fallen off. I guess it is not a huge deal if he wants us to rid of it, it is just that I don't think it is that bad. But I do not mind ridding of it and buying new next year. How long do you all think a fake Christmas tree lasts?

I am so sorry!!

I am trying to pick a new bank. We had Chase and they ended up being awful. I quickly transferred our money to Wells Fargo. I just do not feel good about Wells Fargo. I am wondering if I should consider USAA or Fidelity or a credit union? We have accounts right now with USAA and Fidelity. I like to diversify where I have my money, so I was thinking maybe a credit union? Years ago we were with a credit union back when there was a credit union with my husband's work. I think there had been a discussion here recently about banks vs credit unions and I think Fidelity and USAA are probably neither. But I did not pay attention to it at the time. I would love feedback and advice.

I am going to agree with this. It sounds like her depression is possibly turning out to be bipolar. Find a new psych asap. You might wish to consider a psychologist for an evaluation and then a psych for meds.