Exactly. Lots of options (haven't read beyond yet to see if anyone actually did veer into anything though). I don't believe in "Don't quote me since I plan to delete this later.". Although I don't know the impact of adding that phrase to a post. Would it lead to more or fewer replies?

LOL.

Okay, how about... if your spouse told you they wanted to transition to the other gender, what would you do? Stay? Get divorced? Something else? This should probably be a poll, but I'm not feeling like trying to figure that out at the moment. FTR, I stayed.

We've never had a landline - I would suppose that helps? It would annoy me though. My in-laws once had a realtor come to their door (decades ago) because there was a couple interested in buying the house they'd bought a year before. The couple really wanted that house because it was in the neighborhood they wanted to be in and was built in such a way it was easy to use for people with physical disabilities (one of them was in a wheelchair or something). They were willing to pay $30k over market value for it or something. My in-laws sold it to them. I could live with a realtor doing something like that. But otherwise... no.

We can pay our fines online, or at the DIY checkout machines, or at the desk. Only at the desk it involves facing a person - the other options should be great for those with embarrassment issues.

We (wife, 7yo, 4yo and I) rent half a duplex, so about 800 sq ft I think? It's too small for my comfort, BUT, that's partially because we're renting it. We're not allowed to put shelves all over the walls. We can't put locks on the interior doors. The bathroom doesn't have a lock, which is probably a good thing since there is only one bathroom, and neither of the bedrooms has locks. Sometimes I really wish I could just lock myself into the bedroom, but the kids will follow me. The only way to get a break is to leave the house, which in WNY isn't always a great option (read, winter). Plus, since it's a duplex, we have only one driveway, which means that during winter the neighbor blocks our car in since no street parking is allowed at night. Alternatively we could block him in, but that would mean getting up earlier. I love the low rent. If I had more money I'd live in a bigger house though. Like others have said: layout matters. We have heater vents in the walls that mean certain parts of the walls can't have furniture in front of them, which makes the little space we have seems like even less. I just want another bedroom, and more counter space and cabinets in the kitchen. And more bookcases, but I don't think there is a house big enough to have as many bookcases as I want (well, maybe a chateau with a built-in library).

I'm a little erratic, but I'd say on average at least once a week, but probably less than twice a week. Next question: how many different branches do you physically go to? We most often go to the branch that's closest to us (duh), but there is a branch further away with a play room for the kids, plus I like to go to different branches to just browse the shelves, so 2 branches we go to fairly frequently and a couple more I occasionally go to. When I was a kid we had library cards in two cities.

Just to be clear - for a 3.5yo I wouldn't make them finish every activity that is their idea, just ones that would take only a couple more minutes to finish and that I know aren't too hard for them. Like, when my son was 3.5 and did 6 pages in a Kumon tracing/writing book and then said he wanted to do another page, okay, fine... but then I'd make him finish the page if he wanted to quit halfway through page 7. Occasionally I'd also tell him that no, we're not going to do another page, for instance if he'd ask to do page 8 after I made him finish page 7 (although sometimes I would let him do page 8). It's just that that next page looks a lot more fun, and then halfway through the page maybe it isn't quite as interesting anymore as it looked. FWIW, it's not that he'd mastered everything by doing half the page and the rest of the page was just busywork - if that was the case, it'd be different. Scheduling can be done in a variety of ways. You can have a daily schedule/outline along the lines of breakfast, then math, then reading, then legos, then lunch, then playground, etc. That way you know what to expect next, but without any rigid expectations of how much will be covered. Some kids/parents need to have that kind of schedule. I might benefit from a schedule like that, but I can't pull it off. You can also schedule that after completing this workbook, you're going to do that workbook next, and then that, etc. Again, you'd have an idea of what to expect (as a parent - the kid may or may not be aware of your plans), but it doesn't tell you when things will be finished. I find this a little trickier because For instance my 4yo was really into Kumon for a while, and then got sick of it, so then on to something else. Whatever schedule you do though, I'd try to be very flexible with a 3.5yo and keep things fun (and usually brief).

I really wouldn't worry about planning a year ahead until the school district makes you. Planning ahead seems most useful for making sure you stay on schedule. Your kid is 3.5yo and ahead. You don't have to stay "on schedule". You don't even know what pace would be appropriate for the next year, especially since kids like to plateau and have growth spurts at random moments, both physically and intellectually. I like to research books and curricula etc. It's fun. But with my kids I just do what feels appropriate at the time. My 7.5yo is in school, so I don't do that much with him, but my 4yo is at home with me and we just kind of go with the flow. I sometimes try things with him that turn out to be too hard and then put them away for some point in the future, other times I do stuff with him that I know is at his level/just slightly challenging, and I also do stuff with him that I know is easy for him because not *everything all the time* needs to be challenging. There are days I don't really do anything educational with him. There are days we do several things. If we're doing a work book and he wants to do another page, I'm like, okay, but then if he wants to quit halfway through the page that *he* wanted to do, I tend to make him finish it (if it's really just a couple of minutes of work at most), and he knows that. I just don't want him to be one of those kids for who everything is so easy that they never learn how to cope with a little frustration. School was really easy for me, and since grades didn't matter much I'd just take a lower grade rather than do something if I didn't want to do it, which would lower my average grade, but my average grades would still easily be high enough from tests etc. Not that I have all the answers. Just saying that I think it's not overly useful to plan ahead a full year for any 3.5yo, let alone one that's not average.

If you ask your kid's teacher she'd probably tell you what triggered that. I agree that porn does not belong in a high school library (never mind reading list). That said, it does open up the slippery slope. I don't even necessarily object to teenagers reading porn, but I don't want my taxes to fund those in a school library when they could be spending them on more appropriate books (besides, can you imagine how gross those books would be when they're returned to the library?). I read the Clan of the Cave Bear series by Jean M. Auel when I was 11 I think? When I was in 5th grade the elementary school principal started reading the first book out loud to the 5th and 6th graders. Some parents objected. He said that if he got to the objectionable parts of the book he'd skip them (there is sex incl. rape in them). We never got that far. However, it did make me check them out of the library a year later or so (not sure why there was a delay). I read Glamorama and at least one other Brett Easton Ellis book (American Psycho) when I was in 11th grade (15yo). Glamorama features graphic descriptions of threesomes etc. It's not just porn though - the sex is just in a few scenes, not the entire book. I wouldn't object to a school having a book like Glamorama. I do object to badly written porn that is solely about the sex and nothing else. Glamorama has a lot of material in it that would be worth discussing (lifestyle choices, etc). Badly written porn probably doesn't provide much material for conversation.

I was watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt the other day (a new Netflix TV series), and she said someone once told her you can do anything for 10 seconds. So she'd count to 10 while doing something, and then start over. Now, for the psychoanalysis option: Maybe your mom would tell you to put your toys away when you were little, and you'd object, and she'd turn it into a "I bet you can put them away before I finish counting to [whatever number]". I sometimes do that with my 4yo when he thinks it's too much to put away. Maybe he'll end up counting while doing laundry when he grows up.

But if you go with the option of shaving it off, you could mail hair samples to everyone, and that might just do the trick. :)

No, because I'm like, 30? It'd be very sad if anyone at my age needed botox. If I were older, probably the vanity answer. Just can't be bothered with all that vanity stuff.

Cat, have you taken a pregnancy test? This level of olfactory intensity when you usually don't have this problem makes me wonder if it's you, rather than the shampoo. Do post the type of shampoo you used though. To protect the innocent, etc.

I found out that DK has a new children's philosophy book: http://www.amazon.com/Childrens-Book-Philosophy-DK/dp/1465429239/ref=zg_bs_3189_35 The preview looks interesting.

Cooking? I think 9yo is about the age where you can teach a kid to make a simple dinner (and then over time more complicated things, with less supervision from you). If he were to cook dinner one night a week I'd call that a meaningful chore, even if at first he needed supervision/help. I think taking out trash, emptying the dishwasher, etc, are meaningful too, but I get what you mean. They don't have an end product, and require little skill. Sewing things would be another option, or woodworking, or (helping out with) home repair kind of things. ETA: being a mother's helper/tutoring? Obviously, he wouldn't know enough to tutor much, but he'd probably be able to help a 6yo with addition and subtraction flashcards or games or something. And he could look after one or two babies or toddlers while their mom does something else (maybe a fellow homeschooling mom with young kids who has trouble helping the oldest with algebra while junior wants her attention?). Would be a great preparation for babysitting, which he's too young for at this point, but which could be a nice way to earn some cash in a couple of years (Red Cross babysitter training starts at 11yo, iirc, and I'd be much more likely to let an 11yo babysit if he'd been a mother's helper before than if he had no experience). Oh, and people do tend to pay mother's helpers a little bit as well, afaik... but not much, I think.

I'd also be in the "well, I expected the apple to not fall too far from the tree" crowd. My spouse and I both have test scores high enough for Mensa (my spouse on an SAT taken in sophomore year, back when they still counted those for Mensa, me on an IQ test). I also sort of expected my oldest to have Asperger's (again, because of genetics). I was wrong. He's HFA. My oldest I can't exactly place as far as intelligence is concerned. He's got a bunch of 2E characteristics, but his test scores have ranged from 2nd to 99th percentile on various tests and subtests of things, and also have drastically changed on various tests and subtests over the years. At 4 years 1 months his verbal IQ was estimated to be 75, performance IQ of 108. At 6 years 11 months the verbal went up to a little over 100 and the performance to something like low 120s. Which obviously isn't gifted. But he's always been way ahead in some things and way behind in others, and some of those things have even reversed over the years. He's evened out a bit more to where he's not way behind in anything (just a little behind in some things), but I don't know. I don't think we'll see another 30 point jump in his verbal IQ or anything, but I'm not sure what to expect. And it's okay if he just ends up being average to high average. There are a lot of successful people with IQs in that range. His work ethic etc will play a bigger role than where exactly the IQ score ends up being once his brain is done cooking sometime in his 20s. My younger one seems more neurotypical (although he has some little oddities) and gifted, but hasn't been tested. As far as myself, my mom knew I was smart, but she'd never thought I was as smart as I was until my younger brother started having problems in school and got an IQ test as part of the testing to figure out his issues. He tested in the gifted range (he also turned out to have an ASD, but they didn't figure that out until years later). During a home observation of my brother the person observing said that my brother seemed normal enough but that she was concerned about *me*. So I got a bunch of testing and scored even higher on the IQ test than my brother did.

Yes, thrift stores take that stuff. I've found several useful things there. I'd only bother selling something if it's worth a good chunk of money, e.g. if you have the entire Life of Fred series or something... I wouldn't give that away. But if it's a small amount of money I'd just chalk it up as a donation to help support Goodwill or w/e (though when they ask me if I want a receipt for tax purposes I say no... again, if it's not worth enough to sell, it's not worth enough to put on my taxes as a deduction for being donated). We're lower middle class, so we're not rich. I've also given away something to someone at homeschool swim&gym (a Biscuit phonics boxed set), and to the Y's preschool program (BOB books). When I got 100-charts which came as a 10-pack or so I gave 7 of them to my son's K teacher (I did not give her an end-of-year present). I'd just set a price point under which to give stuff away. That point would depend on how much you need the money and how overwhelmed you are, of course. But for example, any item/set that's worth less than roughly $20 (used, not new cost) gets donated. Obviously, you could also do $10 or $50 or w/e.

I guess the park is too far to walk? We have three playgrounds that I consider within walking distance (one of which is at an elementary school) and a safe neighborhood. Although the third one (not the one at the elementary school) is maybe too far to let a 7-8yo walk alone too (it's about a mile). When I was a kid we had more playgrounds even closer. Heck, everything was closer when I was a kid. The U.S. is so spread out (and we actually live in a pretty densely populated suburb - one of America's top 100 most dense urban areas according to Wikipedia). Another thing crossed my mind: in America people are more likely to have extensive playsets in the backyards. Not just a single swing, but something similar to the structures you see at a playground. Which makes sense if you keep going to the playground and no one else is there, and you have to walk far to get there, and you don't feel safe leaving your kids unsupervised. But, then your kids aren't going to be at the playground, so the next person will end up buying their own backyard playset for the same reason, etc. I don't know where you live, but I agree there are places where I don't think it's safe to let younger kids go alone (and even some areas where I don't think it's safe for adults to go alone). It's just that when you're in a very safe area and people still believe it's not safe it gets to be annoying. When despite having an anxiety disorder you are more worried about random strangers calling CPS than you are about sharing a duplex with a senior CPS field agent (because he at least has some sense wrt what should be reported or not) or about something bad happening to the kids. Not that I think my kids are ready to go to the playground alone yet. But say, playing in the front yard or back yard without me constantly watching them. End rant, I guess.

Even some schools that can afford them/have them for every child still make kids draw pictures. Some curricula are just very picture-happy.

Yeah. I don't see a lot of kids either. For one, there just aren't as many kids (more people who are too old to have kids under 12). And NL has if I remember correctly the highest percentage of SAHM in the first world, so I grew up with almost all of my classmates having a SAHM (my mom was a SAHM as well). It's just tough. And when you feel like some random person will call CPS if you aren't supervising your 9yo or w/e, then that kid is less likely to be playing outside as many hours as well, so less likely to be outside when you're outside, etc. My oldest is 7.5 and has an ASD, so that's different (although I just switched him to the regular school bus vs the short bus, so now he walks a block to the bus stop alone - would have tried that during the fall, but we get a lot of snow here... short bus is mighty convenient, lol), but I recently was talking to some mom at taekwondo who just let her 9yo and 8yo walk to the playground alone for the first time, followed them half and hour later with her other kid (she got caught up doing something; she'd planned to go there sooner), and when she got to the playground she saw 4 fire engines, 2 ambulances, and a police car. Turns out some *other* kid had fallen and broken her arm. Not sure how that degree of miscommunication happened to have 4 fire engines etc (I mean, seriously?), but she's now so freaked out that she doesn't want to let her 9yo and 8yo go to the playground alone. I don't think that'd be my conclusion from the situation... my conclusion would be that apparently it's super safe for kids to play at the playground (being in a car accident around here doesn't gather that amount of emergency response). That said, I understand that seeing all those fire trucks etc would cause your stomach to turn over and make you emotionally irrational about the situation, especially since her first thought probably was "omg my kids didn't die, did they?". We live in a very safe neighborhood, fwiw. I'll go on walks alone at night without any worry, without even having a phone or w/e on me.

You say he doesn't even want to transition for stuff like going out for ice cream which he likes. But what things is he doing that he doesn't want to transition from? Is it everything? Or are there activities he does that make it more likely for him to tantrum if asked to stop and go do something else. For instance any kind of electronics is a common thing that a lot of kids struggle to transition from, even to do other fun stuff at times. Could you keep a journal for a few days and write down what he was doing, how he reacted when asked to do something else, and the consequence of his reaction. For example: 3pm: He was playing with his Legos. I told him to put his coat on so we could go for ice cream. He started screaming so I sent him to his room and he did not get ice cream. 7pm: He was playing with his cars. I said "lets put the cars away so they can go sleep for the night". He started crying so I let him play with his cars for 5 more minutes. It might be a lot of work to keep a journal like that, especially if these transitions are a common problem, but it might help you see patterns, which might help you see solutions. Maybe he still could use an afternoon nap (I know a kid who'll turn 5 in May who still naps), or maybe he has more trouble with transitions when his blood sugar is low, or maybe it's more of an issue with transitioning from a few select activities such as electronics or his favorite toys.

Thanks. I just read the rules for the game and I'm wondering if there's some way to change it to do longer words. He actually does tend to sound out shorter words correctly, even if he doesn't know them. It's when they're multiple syllables that he gives up and guesses based on word shape (beginning and ending letters). For instance, when reading some book about volcanoes he read Mount Merapi as Mount Mississippi. I'd be okay if he'd mispronounced Merapi (I'm not even a 100% sure how it *is* supposed to be pronounced)... I'm just not happy about not even trying and saying Mississippi instead (for the record, he doesn't only do this with weird names... he also does it with words that clearly follow phonetic rules but are multiple syllables long and which he can pronounce correctly if I can get him to slow down and sound them out). My plan for this summer was to go back to Toe and Toe, review what we'd already done (about 2/3 of the book), and continue working on it. He also has issues with speech. He's improved a lot, but in 1st grade he'd consistently say muse-kit instead of music for example, and this morning I taught him the word 'vocabulary' and even though I'd said it a several times before he said it he still said 'vobaculary' or something along those lines (while reading the definition in the dictionary). I could think of a lot more examples (most simpler than 'vocabulary', which admittedly is a long word). His speech therapist sometimes does Earobics with him. It's affecting his spelling too - he prefers to use a visual memory of a word to write it down, which means he makes really nonsensical mistakes. E.g. 'nidners' for 'numbers'. He does not reverse letters, fwiw, despite the example I just gave. When he realizes he needs to write a b or a /b/ sound, he'll write a b correctly, no problem. But getting him to break a word up into sounds and then writing down the sounds in the correct order so his spelling at least makes phonetic sense is like pulling teeth, and he'll make odd mistakes even when he's trying hard to think of the sounds in a word (especially with letters he still struggles to pronounce correctly, such as /r/ and /l/ ). It just sort of feels like he's so good at sight words that phonics is never going to be as easy and as appealing to him. Which is fine - if he wants to sight read everything except unknown words, fine by me. I just want him to recognize when a word is unknown and to sound it out. At least he's still young... maybe I'm prematurily frustrated. ETA: random factoid: His speech took off when we bought a TV and had the subtitles on whenever the TV was on. Also, around the same time I discovered that while it was extremely hard to get him to repeat something I said, I could get him to repeat me much more easily if I wrote it down and pointed at the word. E.g. pointing at a cake and saying cake - no response. Writing down cake and saying cake, and he'd read/say it, whether there was cake or not. He has an educational autism diagnosis for his IEP (but he's never been assessed by a medical specialist, although his pediatricians over the years have agreed he probably does qualify as HFA.

Depends on the cabbage. Regular cabbage or red cabbage go straight in the cart. Chinese cabbage however goes in a bag, partially because it's often wetter and partially because it's more likely to fall apart.

I need to try the thing with the M&Ms. My 7.5yo is a sight word reader/guesser to a large extent. Any additional advice for kids reading that way who are already reading chapter books? It's a bit late to nip it in the bud, so to speak. I tried pushing phonics in the summer following K, at which point he was already at a 1st grade reading level (but a sight word reader/guesser) and it helped for a while, but the moment I don't make him read out loud to me he reverts (the school doesn't make him sound stuff out). One reason I want to homeschool him next year. I don't want to do the sound-it-out battle in the evenings when he's tired from school all day. Also, he's just started to voluntarily read more than he has to, so I don't want to discourage that (again, limited hours that he's not in school).